In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, it was mentioned that some Jews came to the Prophet and said, “As-Saamu 'Alaykum [death be on you].” ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, therefore said (to them), “[Death] be upon you, and may Allah curse you and inflict His wrath upon you.” The Prophet said: “O 'Aa’ishah! Be calm. You should be kind and lenient, and beware of severity and bad words.” She said, “Did you not you hear what they said?” He replied: “And did you hear what I said [to them]? I said the same to them, and my supplication against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
This is how the Prophet taught us to avoid severity and resort to easygoingness in all matters; he said: “Leniency adorns anything that contains it, while anything that it is void of is distorted.”
The Meaning of Severity
Leniency means moderateness and kindness while severity is the absence of these qualities in dealing with any matter. In other words, it is extremism and exaggeration that are accompanied by stiffness and rudeness when dealing with others, even if they have behaved impolitely.
Treating people severely creates a desire for retaliation when there is a chance to do so, while kindness reconciles the hearts and makes people obedient.
Deprived of Goodness
The one deprived of leniency and who lives among people and treats them violently would be deprived of goodness, as the Prophet said: “The one who is deprived of leniency would be deprived of all goodness.”
Severity is a disgraceful and evil phenomenon that leads to the spreading of grudges and enmities among people. It creates a desire for challenging others and stubbornness that in turn leads to disobeying orders and directives, even if they are good. Severity in attempting to fix any mechanism leads to its breakage, while severity when facing calamities destroys one’s power and energy.
Violence, Severity and the Mass Media
Many studies and seminars have tackled the effects of violence and severity propagated by the mass media on the behavior of its audience, especially youngsters.
Unfortunately, many of the programs and series that are broadcast today represent the oppression that people suffer at others’ hands, beginning from snubbing, neglecting and ridiculing them up to hitting, cursing, or even committing crimes against them such as assault or murder. This, undoubtedly, affects young people and this effect appears later on in life, as some studies have revealed.
Violence and Severity with Servants and the Weak
An aspect of violence that people see in some communities is that practiced against servants and other weak people, in addition to despising them and burdening them with unbearable hard work, some people may even hit them and abuse them physically and mentally. This is something that should not, for any reason, be spread in Muslim communities. Here is an incident that took place at the time of the Prophet :
Abu Mas‘ood Al-Badri, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Once, I was beating my slave with a whip when I heard a voice behind me saying, ‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know.’ I did not recognize the voice because of my severe anger. When he [who had spoken] approached me, I found that it was the Messenger of Allah and he was saying: ‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know that Allah has more dominance over you than you have over your slave.’ I [then] said, ‘I would never ever beat a servant again in future.’” The wording of another narration of this incident reads, “Abu Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said ‘He is free for the Sake of Allah.’ The Prophet said, ‘If you had not have done that, you would have been burnt by the Fire.’”
Violence and Severity Against Women
Statistics show that violence against women has become a widespread phenomenon in western countries, which may be due to the corruption and deviation of the methods of upbringing there. There is no doubt that our societies are not free from such strange cases where women and children are exposed to violence. In spite of the fact that these cases are limited in our societies, we should remind people that this is something that is despicable and contradicts the Islamic Sharee‘ah and its moral system.
The Prophet said: “I forbid the [usurping of the] right of two weak people: orphans and women.” When the Prophet was informed that some men hit their wives, he said: “They are not the best among you.”
If women or children needed to be reformed, physical punishment should be the last resort. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them gently. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.} [Quran 4:34]
Even if it reaches this extent, the Sharee‘ah rules that guarantee the safety of the soul and the body and that allow no harm to be done should be observed.
Violence with Animals
Some people who have a corrupt disposition find pleasure in tormenting animals and use violence against them. Islam forbids this. The Prophet once entered an orchard that was owned by one of the Ansaar and found a camel in it. When the camel saw the Prophet it shed tears, so the Prophet wiped his tears and asked about his owner. A man from the Ansaar said that it was his, so the Prophet said to him: “Will not you fear Allah with regards to the animal that He has granted you? It complained to me that you keep it hungry and exhaust it.”
In conclusion, it has to be remembered that the lenient person gains safety, while violence and severity only leads to remorse.