First published on: Foundation Of Manners, Behavior And Etiquette In Islam


  Mariam Salah

How many quotes are there that describe good manners? How many articles? How many books? Lots and lots; all trying to deliver the image of a perfect world.

Prophet Muhammad PBUH (Peace be upon him) once said that he has been honored over other prophets and messengers by some characteristics, and one of them is that he had been given words which are concise, but comprehensive in meaning.

This article shows how few words can be enough to describe something huge.

Ibn Rajab (one of the commentators on the sayings of Prophet Muhammad) said that there are four Hadiths (sayings of Prophet Muhammad) that set the main concept for good manners and behavior! So, Let’s see what they are.

Only care about what concerns you!

Abu Hurayrah (one of the Prophet’s companions) narrated that he has heard Prophet Muhammad saying:

Part of the perfection of one’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.” [At-Tirmidhi]

Jamaluddin Zarabozo, one of the contemporary commentators on the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, emphasizes that Islam protects the society as a whole from any kind of harm. Much of the harm inflicted on the society are due to people indulging in the unnecessary matters like meddling into the affairs of others when one has no right or responsibility for the particular issue. These types of practices normally lead to great evil in the society. He also commented that a believer should train him/herself to concentrate to be involved in the beneficial matters so that this in itself will be the person’s attitude. Do not waste time, money and effort in things that are of no benefit in this life and the hereafter.

Speak good or keep silent!

Abu Hurayrah has narrated that the Messenger of Allah PBUH said:

Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day speak good, or keep silent; and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbour; and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his guest. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

When you open your mouth to talk, there are three options: Either you speak good, you speak bad or you decide to close your mouth again and to keep silent. Speaking good is definitely the best and keeping silent is surely better than speaking bad.

Muslims are responsible for what they say because they know that every single word they utter is written by angels and that they will be questioned by Allah about it on the day of resurrection.

Needless to say, that a society really needs that everyone learns these golden words and that it has a direct effect to reach a better and healthy society.

Do not become angry!

Also narrated by Abu Hurayrah:

A man said to the Prophet, “Counsel me,” so he said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] prophet Muhammad said, “Do not become angry.” [Al-Bukhari]

As we all may know, when we become angry, we might say or do wrong things. When you are angry, your mind is actually absent and your emotions are in control; they just move your body with all its power! That’s why we sometimes hear that people even commit murder when they are angry.

Scholars count this Hadith as the base of the psychological health; because when you simply don’t let your anger control you, your life gets better and you won’t regret doing or saying things that ruin it.

Finally, love for others what you love for yourself!

On the authority of Anas bin Malik (another of the Prophet’s companions) that the Prophet PBUH said:

None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

If you think about others as if they were you, what do you think the world would be like?

I don’t like to be insulted, so I am not going to insult anyone.

I love to be treated generously and with hospitality when I visit someone, so I do the same with my visitors.

I would love that someone stands with me when I face bad time, so I am a great support for others.

I would love to get to Paradise and stay away from Hellfire, so I guide people to the straight path and true religion, and so on.

This is how life should be, dears.

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