I Love Hijab, My Dad Forbids It: How to Handle?





QDear scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. I'm a university student in my early twenties. Praise be to Allah, I consider myself a practicing Muslimah. I have a father who is strongly against hijab. I feel very sad because I do everything right but I don't wear it. He hates hijab and doesn’t accept it. I tried convincing him and talking to him many times. I always got threats of being kicked out of the house and heard very bad threats that he would divorce my mother and leave us if I considered wearing it. Can I go out wearing conservative clothes without the head scarf until Allah helps me out of this situation? Jazakum Allah khayran.


ANSWER

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty


16 June, 2020


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- You are advised to never be shaken in your conviction, and do not let the unreasonable behavior of your father diminish your resolve to follow the right path according to the best of your ability as your circumstances permit.

2- If, as you have stated, you are dependent on your father and he does not allow you to wear hijab and you find yourself having no choice of your own to exercise as he is threatening to kick you out or divorce your mother, then agree to his wishes. But while doing so, never relish your action, rather detest it in your heart.

In responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

I must commend you for your earnest desire to learn and practice your religion. I pray to Allah to bless you to remain steadfast in His faith while facing the various trials that come your way.

I advise you to never be shaken in your conviction, and do not let the unreasonable behavior of your father diminish your resolve to follow the right path according to the best of your ability as your circumstances permit.

The Prophet Muhammad said: “Whatever I have forbidden you shun it altogether, but whatever I have ordered you to do, do it as best as you can.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

What Are the Requirements of Hijab?

To be more explicit: If, as you have stated, you are dependent on your father and he does not allow you to wear hijab and you find yourself having no choice of your own to exercise as he is threatening to kick you out or divorce your mother, then agree to his wishes.

But while doing so, never relish your action, rather detest it in your heart. So long as you are complying with the order of your father in this matter only while detesting it in your heart, and you have every desire to wear proper hijab as soon as your circumstances change, then I believe, you will be excused.

Your situation is not at all different from someone who is forced to renounce his or her faith. We are told in the Quran that those who are forced to renounce their faith under such extreme pressures will still remain as true believers.

Hijab Cultural or Religious

Allah says: {Whoever disbelieves in Allah after he has believed excepting he who was forced while his heart remained secure in faith—but those who open their heart to disbelief, upon them shall be anger from Allah, and there awaits them a formidable torment.} (An-Nahl 16:106)

So strive to follow the teachings of Islam while cherishing sincere intention to please Allah and do what you can under the given circumstances according to the best of your ability.

Thus, even though you may not be fulfilling all of the stated requirements of hijab, try your best to dress modestly and shun the regular makeup and other things that other women resort to.

Seek to preserve your modesty and chastity under all circumstances, and engage in all other good works that you can afford to. And once you are in a position to become independent and thus are no longer under the control of your father, wear hijab as mandated by Islam.

You should be comforted to know that the trials you are facing are no different from what the prophets (peace and blessings be upon them) and other great Muslims of the past faced.

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So never feel discouraged, and never let your father’s behavior diminish your desire or weaken your resolve and commitment to follow the path of Allah.

You can rest assured of the promise of Allah: {As for those who strive for Our sake, We shall certainly guide them unto Our paths; and verily Allah is with those who behave with excellence.} (Al-Ankabut 29:69)