It’s So Hard to Get Away From Sins - New Year Without Alcoholism
QHi. I live in Chicago with my family. My parents came to the U.S. from overseas. My dad's side of the family has always been very religious, yet my mother's family was not.
We do not bother to communicate with my dad's family; therefore, most of our summers are spent with my mom's side of the family. There my cousins drink, smoke, go to a party, and do as they please while calling themselves Muslims.
I am unfortunately like them, and I am constantly told that I will have to marry a boy who is not religious like my family. I find it so hard to get away from sins and temptation.
ANSWER
In this counseling answer:
“Think of all the young Western women born in atheist families that want to follow Islam and wear hijab, but their families disapprove and abandon them. Remember the courageous Muslims living in Communist countries like China who are not able to fast in Ramadan, and are forced by teachers to eat in classes. If they can push through and stand for what they believe in, which is Allah (swt), then sister, so can you!”
It’s So Hard to Get Away From Sins - About Islam
How to Come Back After Sinning
Dear Sister,
I am very sorry to hear of your tricky situation. We wish it upon every person to be surrounded by people who stimulate them to be the best person they can be, and who promote fundamental values like sobriety and decency. We are very glad to have you come to us.
Opposing ends
From your message, it appears that you feel torn between two opposing things. One is your inner natural faith (fitrah) that knows right from wrong and gravitates you toward goodness. The other one is the world of your mother’s family that “…do as they please while calling themselves Muslims…”
Although you claim to be the same as your family, it seems that you are different because you intend “…to get away from sins and temptation”. You recognize that you want and “…need help”. This shows that you want to become a better Muslim.
Challenges and sins
Allah (swt) presents every person with unique challenges in life. Yours may be being surrounded by people who commit sin openly if that is the case. You seem aware that what they are doing is unlawful. Therefore, with this knowledge of Islam, it is your responsibility as a daughter to guide your family to a better path. Discourage them from drinking and partying.
We should refrain from making judgment upon others because everybody’s challenges are different and Allah (swt) is the Only Final Judge; however, it is your responsibility to correct them where correction is due.
Good company
First of all, as you are surrounded by bad examples, you feel it’s hard to resist sins and temptation. Therefore, you need good companionship that always reminds you of Allah (swt) and encourages you to stay on the right path. For that, you can go to your mosque or make friends with other Muslim peers in your school.
“It is important to choose your friends carefully. Prophet Muhammad (saw) warned the believers about this too. He said that a person would be influenced by his friends. He (saw) said:
“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” (At-Tirmidhi)”
Check out this counseling video:
Strengthen faith
Secondly, it is very important you seek (Islamic) knowledge and strengthen your faith. You need to understand and believe which things are good for you. And which are bad, and why they’re good or bad. Without knowledge, you can lead a very bleak and long path that puts you off track in the blink of an eye.
You may fall into a hole of despair or temptation, or worse, fall into shirk without realizing it. Shirk is the worst sin one can commit. And can be a dangerous “accidental” hole to fall into that will lead you to the hellfire. Educate yourself so that you can spot those dark holes. So that you can avoid them instead of falling into them.
Communicate
Thirdly, your mother cares very much for you. Once she sees you behaving in a respectable manner, it may inspire her to improve herself. Communicate with her privately and clearly how you feel, in a respectable tone.
Use words like “I feel that…”, and “so and so…makes me feel…”. Reinstate to her that this has nothing to do with your father. As there seems to be tension there, but that Islam is important for you personally. Show her that you love her and that you are doing this because you believe it is best for her.
If her response is not what you had ideally hoped for, please understand that many non-Muslim-born believers have gone through havoc with their families that don’t support their religious beliefs.
Conclusion
Think of all the young Western women born in atheist families that want to follow Islam and wear hijab, but their families disapprove and abandon them.
Remember the courageous Muslims living in Communist countries like China who are not able to fast in Ramadan, and are forced by teachers to eat in classes.
New Year Without Alcoholism
“{They ask you concerning alcohol and gambling. Say: ‘In them is a great sin, and some benefits for men, but the sin is far greater than the benefit.’}” (Surat Al-Baqarah 2:219).
It has always seemed ironic to me that the new year marks an increase in drinking as well as a mass rush to write down a list of “New Year’s Resolutions”.
As Muslims, of course, we can see the irony in this. One shouldn’t be drinking to begin with, let alone in excess, at a mixed party.
It is a bit ridiculous to then go home and make a list about how one can be a better person the next year. However, this irony is a reality for many people – even Muslims.
It is certain that many of the celebrations in the new year involved the consumption of alcohol. It is also just as certain that many people drinking at those celebrations were Muslims.
As Muslims, we must try to avoid alcohol and encourage other Muslims to do the same. We must also be able to help our fellow Muslims who do drink by recognizing the symptoms of alcoholism, knowing the harms of alcohol (even one drink can harm you). We must also advise and help or fellow Muslims without imposing blame or ridicule.
The word “alcohol” is derived from the Arabic word al-kohl, which means fermented grains, fruits, or sugars that form an intoxicating beverage when fermented.
Khamr or, khamrah, is the word used in the Qur’an to denote a fermented beverage that intoxicates a person when he/she drinks it.
In the Islamic World
New Year Without Alcoholism - About Islam
Although alcohol is forbidden in Islam, it is widely available in many Muslim cities around the world (Lawless).
In fact, Muslims aren’t immune to alcoholism at all. Some Muslim countries produce brands of beer and at least half a dozen different wines, and import just about every kind of alcohol that exists.
The Register of Addition Specialists and Castle Worldwide list addiction and alcohol abuse centers for Muslims even in Saudi Arabia.
Dr. O.P Kapoor states that symptoms of alcoholism in Yemeni and Gulf men are often not diagnosed since alcoholism isn’t as widespread and familiar to the medical profession there.
However, he says that many of his Muslim patients consume beer and wine, contributing to their gastric health problems (Kapoor).
Furthermore, even “true” non-alcoholic beer, which is popular with Muslims in the Gulf, as well as other Muslim and European States, DOES contain alcohol in small amounts and has been condemned by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) because it provides not only alcohol, but also “triggers” the senses of smell and taste that can encourage alcoholism.
In studies, both small levels of alcohol and the anticipation of alcohol in non-alcoholic beer raised levels of a brain chemical called dopamine, which plays a role in feelings of elation and pleasure (Buddy).
However, despite the spread of alcoholism in the Muslim world, little is being done to educate Muslims about the health risks of intoxicants.
Many Islamic websites simply emphasize the “wrongness” of alcoholism and its detrimental effect on the values of society.
Other websites speak mostly of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and alcohol related liver problems. Many Muslims, then reason that “it’s not really so bad to drink” as long as they are not otherwise sinning, aren’t pregnant – and if they have a strong liver.
If they can push through and stand for what they believe in, which is Allah (swt), then sister, so can you!
Real Poison
What a lot of Muslims don’t know, however, is that as far as the body is concerned, alcohol is a poison.
Consumption of alcohol isn’t only an issue that concerns morality, pregnancy or liver health. Alcohol can also damage the brain, pancreas, duodenum and central nervous system and causes metabolic damage.
In fact, alcohol causes metabolic damage to every cell in the body in such a slow and insidious way that it may take years for one to actually notice the damage. This can give the illusion that one is “doing OK” with their alcohol or that the one drink didn’t affect them at all.
On the contrary – the liver, which is the only organ that actually processes the alcohol, can actually be up to 3/4 damaged before the person becomes aware of the damage…by then the liver usually shuts down completely.
Furthermore, when alcohol is broken down in the liver it inhibits the organ’s production of digestive enzymes and impairs the body’s ability to absorb fats, proteins and the fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, and K) – as well as the B-complex vitamins.
This happens every time a person drinks. Because of the work the liver must do to process the alcohol, toxic amounts of fat get stuck in the liver. This can cause obesity and trouble with weight loss, even in people who consume moderate amounts of alcohol.
Another common effect of alcohol on the body is that of damage to the peripheral nervous system, such as the feet and hands. One may experience shaking or loss of sensation in either. The pancreas also can become inflamed and thus can lead to diabetes.
Men who drink alcohol also experience a great decrease in their production of testosterone, a male hormone that is basically responsible for making them “male”. Alcohol is also one of the most common causes of reduced sexual performance, impotence and infertility.
A common “old wives tale” recommends that a woman tired of her marriage bed needs only to allow her husband a sip of beer to quell his passions.
People consuming large amounts of alcohol may also eventually become deficient in zinc, which can cause one to lose their sense of taste or smell and thus some of their enjoyment of food.
This also impairs their ability to heal wounds – so alcoholics who get injured or have surgical scars may never heal properly.
Combining alcohol with over the counter drugs like Panadol, Tylenol and others have often proved deadly to some people as well. If a person is allergic to sulfites (sulpha drugs, sulfites, etc…) then alcohol is even more deadly, as it is manufactured with sulfites.
Recognizing Problem
New Year Without Alcoholism - About Islam
To detect if you or a loved one has a problem with alcoholism, you should learn to recognize symptoms commonly related to a drinking problem.
Symptoms directly related to excessive drinking include: dizziness, delayed reflexes, slowed mental function, memory loss, poor judgment, emotional outbursts, aggressive behavior, lack of coordination, shaking of the hands, nervous system disorders and anxiety.
Symptoms of withdrawal (when trying to quit) are: cravings, nausea, vomiting, gastrointestinal upset, abdominal cramps, anorexia, fatigue, headache, anxiety, irritability, chills, depression, insomnia, tremors, weakness and hallucinations.
Many Muslims are afraid to seek help for alcoholism because of the fear of what people will say or think of them. However, we must remember that no one is immune to immorality.
Allah condemns even those who sell or support alcohol. Most people support alcohol sellers when they eat at restaurants that serve alcohol, buy products from those who sell alcohol and even when they fly on an airplane.
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah has cursed wine, its drinker, its server, its seller, its buyer, its presser, the one for whom it is pressed, the one who conveys it, and the one to whom it is conveyed,” (Buhkari: Book 26, Number 3666).
The only way we can combat alcoholism in our community is to first observe it, accept that there is a problem, and lovingly assist those Muslims who are having trouble.
This article is from our archive, published earlier and we currently republish it for its importance.
References:
“Kuwait: Non Alcoholic Beers Must Have Lab Clearance.” AFP. May 2001.
Buddy, T. “The Dangers of Non-Alcoholic Beer.” About.com/alcohlism.
Kapoor, O.P. “Common Chronic Disease Patterns in the Arabian Gulf.” Bombay Hospital Journal. Vol. 43. No.3: October 2001.
Lawless, Laura, K. “Alcohol in Morocco.” About.com/Speaking French.
Register of Addiction Specialists.
Castle Worldwide.