My Friend Engaged in Partial Sex: How Should He Repent? QAs-salamu `alaykum. My friend did a sin; he went to one massage center and the lady touched his body and has done a partial sex. He is unmarried. What does Islam say about that? He wants to be a good Muslim. ANSWER 24 July, 2021 Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. In this fatwa: Your friend should do his best to change his lifestyle, to bring himself closer to Allah by doing good deeds and steering clear of the prohibitions, to observe the prayers, carry out his religious duties, to maintain a sincere repentance, and to stick to the morals of Islam. Replying to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: Your friend committed some grave sins that require sincere and immediate repentance. It is not lawful for a person to have massage done by a member of the opposite sex. Massage done by a member of the opposite sex will involve a lot of sins such as touching a body of a member of the opposite sex and possibility of looking at his/her wrah (parts that should not be uncovered in front of others). Moreover, you said that your friend did a “partial sex“; though, it would have been better if you have specified the exact nature of his wrongdoing, we could assume that whatever he has done was not actual zina (adultery or fornication), and therefore we will deal with the issue on such basis. Islam prohibits all ways leading to fornication, adultery, and all forms of sexual perversion. In a practical and matchless approach to prevent the crime of zinabefore its occurrence, Islam blocks all ways leading to that which is Haram and unlawful. Stressing this, Allah Almighty says, “And come not near unto adultery. Lo! It is an abomination and an evil way.” (Al-Israa’ 17:32) In an authentic Hadith reported by Ahmad, it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The eyes commit Zina, the hands commit Zina and feet commit Zina and the genitals commit Zina.” (Musnad Ahmad) In another Hadith, he is reported to have said that “the genitals confirm or deny it.” (Indicating that starring at opposite sex in a lustful way has a spontaneous effect on the genitals and may induce person to commit Zina). Thus, in light of the above, it’s clear that what your friend has done is absolutely Haram (forbidden) though it is not subject to the same punishment of Zina. Therefore, a person who indulges in these activities should make sincere repentance to Allah by giving up this sin, feeling regretful for what he has done and ask Allah the Almighty to forgive him. If you committed evil but have repented sincerely, and changed your life around for better, then Allah has certainly promised to grant you mercy and forgiveness. It is one of the basic principles of belief in Islam that Allah is All-Relenting, All-Forgiving and All-Merciful. Here are a few verses which clearly convey this crucial concept: “Do they not know that it is Allah Who accepts the repentance of His servants and receives (approves) their charity, and that Allah is the Relenting, the Compassionate?” (At-Tawbah 9:104) “Say: ‘O My servants who wronged against their souls, do not despair of Allah’s mercy! For Allah forgives all sins; for He is indeed Forgiving, Compassionate.’” (Az-Zumar 39:53) So do not put off repentance; take the necessary steps immediately, for no one can tell when the death will overtake us. The door of repentance is open so long as we are not in the throes of death, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah accepts the repentance of His servant so long as death has not reached his collar bone.” (At-Tirmidhi) But since we have no way of knowing when death will overtake us, we must never be complacent or slack in hastening to taking steps towards repentance. While speaking of repentance, I must rush to add, that it cannot be considered as valid unless one takes the following steps: Firstly, one must feel deep remorse for the sins one has committed. Secondly, one must refrain from it totally while also abstaining from all those leads or circumstances that led him to such a sin in the first place. Thirdly, he must be firmly resolved never to sin again, and immediately becoming occupied in whatever good deeds that he can in order to wipe out his past sins. Fourthly, all of the above involve sins involving the rights of Allah; if, however, your sins involve the rights of human beings, then you must also do whatever it takes to return or compensate or redress the grievances of the person you have wronged. Paying him his dues or compensating him in whatever ways possible becomes an essential condition of valid repentance. Now, it is our advice to your friend to do his best to change his lifestyle, to bring himself closer to Allah by doing good deeds and steering clear of the prohibitions, to observe the prayers, carry out his religious duties, to maintain a sincere repentance, and to stick to the morals of Islam. Also, we do advise him to get married if he is financially and physically capable, since scholars say that marriage is obligatory when the person is sexually tormented, fears committing illicit relations, and is financially and physically capable. He should also encircle himself with good Muslim friends who could help him be a practicing Muslim. Almighty Allah knows best. Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.
24 July, 2021
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty