Refuting Misconceptions
The Status of Muslim Women in Communal Life
The status of the Muslim woman in Islam is very noble and lofty, and she has a great influence on the life of every Muslim in her community. Indeed, a Muslim woman is the initial teacher who contributes towards building a righteous society, provided that she follows the guidance of the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah (tradition) of His Prophet (pbuh): since adherence to the Quran and the Sunnah keeps every Muslim -- male or female – away from being misguided in any way.
The misguidance and deviation of nations are the result of being far away from the path of Allaah The Almighty and from what His prophets and messengers, may Allaah exalt their mention, came with. The Prophet (pbuh): said: "I am leaving behind two things, you will not go astray as long as you cling to them, the Book of Allaah and my Sunnah."
The Noble Quran mentions the great importance of the role of Muslim women, whether she is a mother, wife, sister or daughter, her rights and duties, and this has been explained in detail in the purified Sunnah.
Her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed on her shoulders, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder -- responsibilities and difficulties that are sometimes greater than those which a man has to bear. Hence, one of the most important duties is to show gratitude to the mother, be dutiful to her and accompany her in kindness. In this matter, she is to be given precedence over the father. Allaah The Almighty says (what means):
پœ {And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.} [Quran 31:14]
پœ {And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months.} [Quran 46:15]
A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh): and said, "‘O Messenger of Allaah! Who among people is the worthiest of my kind companionship?’ He replied: ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He replied: ‘Your mother.’ The man then asked, ‘Then who?’ So the Prophet (pbuh): replied again: ‘Your mother.’ The man then asked, ‘Then who?’ He replied:‘Then your father.’ "This implies that the mother should be given three times the dutifulness and good treatment that the father is given.
As regards to the wife, her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene has been clearly shown in the noble Quranic verse where Allaah The Almighty says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30:21] Al-Haafith Ibn Katheer commented on this verse, saying, "It encourages love, affection, compassion and piety since the man keeps his wife either because he loves her, or because of compassion and pity for her if he has a child from her."
The unique stance that the Prophet's (pbuh): wife Khadeejah (ra) took in supporting him and calming and reassuring the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh): when the angel Jibreel (Gabriel) (as) first came to him in the cave of Hiraa’.
The Prophet (pbuh): returned to Khadeejah (as) with the first revelation and with his heart trembling, (ra) he said to her: "Cover me! Cover me! I fear for myself." Khadeejah said, “Rejoice. Never! By Allaah! Will Allaah fail you? You maintain kinship ties with your relatives, you help the poor and the destitute, you serve your guests generously and you assist those who have been afflicted with calamities.”
We should also not forget ‘Aa’ishah (ra) and her great contribution as the great Companions used to acquire the knowledge of Hadeeth (narration) from her, and many of the female Companions learnt the various rulings pertaining to women's issues from her.
In the recent past, during the era of Imaam Muhammad bin Su‘ood his wife advised him to accept the call of the revivalist Imaam Muhammad bin ‘Abdul-Wahhaab when he offered his call to him. His wife's advice had a great impact on him agreeing to renew and disseminate the Da‘wah (Islamic propagation). Today we see the effect of that in the firm belief of the citizens of the Arabian Peninsula.
There is also no doubt that a house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islamic upbringing will greatly affect a man. He becomes – Allaah willing – successful in his affairs and in any matter, whether it is seeking knowledge, trading, agriculture, or any other work.
Wisdom behind Prophet Muhammad’s practice of polygyny
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married to several wives following his migration to Al-Madinah. His practice of polygyny was not something novel, as polygyny was widely practiced by all people and nations. Some societies allowed unlimited number of wives until some men had more than seven hundred wives, not including slave women. Some Arabs were reported to have taken in marriage more than ten wives. When Ghaylan ibn Salamah Al-Thaqafy embraced Islam, he was married to ten wives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed him, saying: Choose four of them (and divorce the rest).
(Part No. 25; Page No. 195)
Polygamy was also practiced by the ancient Greeks in Athens, China, Babylonia, Assyria, ancient Egypt, and
the Jews were also polygamous. Prophet Sulayman (Solomon, peace be upon him) had seven hundred free women as wives and three hundred slave women. Al-Bukhari related in his Sahih (authentic) Book of Hadith: Sulayman (the son of) Dawud (David) said, ‘Tonight I will go to a hundred women, each of whom will give birth to a boy who will fight in the Cause of Allah.’ The Angel said to him, ‘Say: In sha’a-Allah (If it be the Will of Allah).’ But he did not say so, as he forgot. He went to them but none of them gave birth, apart from one woman who gave birth to half a child. The Prophet (peace be upon him) further said, ‘Had he said: In sha’a-Allah, he would not have broken his oath and he would have had more hope of fulfilling his wish.’ The Christian church also permitted polygyny and did not object to it.
The Prophet’s marriage to nine wives at the same time was merely an implementation of Divine Instructions and Wisdom. Allah (Exalted be He) states:
when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled. There is no blame on the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in that which Allâh has made legal for him. That has been Allâh’s Way with those who have passed away of (the Prophets of) old.
Stating the fact that it is Allah Who made it lawful for His Messenger to marry several wives, He revealed:
O Prophet (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses - whom Allâh has given to you
Allah then limited the number of the Messenger’s wives to nine, all of whom he was forbidden to divorce. Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) states:
It is not lawful for you (to marry other) women after this, nor to change them for other wives even though their beauty attracts you
(Part No. 25; Page No. 196)
Therefore, the marriages of the Prophet (peace be upon him) were all necessitated by Divine Command. It is not permissible to compare other cases with that of the Prophet (peace be upon him). This matter was restricted to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) alone. None among the Muslim Ummah (nation) is permitted to marry beyond four women under the pretext that the Prophet (peace be upon him) married nine women.
Those who criticize the Prophet of Islam and brand Muslims as lustful are in manifest error. Worse still, we find Muslims who level blasphemous charges at the Prophet (peace be upon him) and take the subject of his marriages in jest. Had true faith entered their hearts, they would not have allowed such thoughts to occupy their minds. Had they carefully examined the circumstances that surrounded each marriage, they would have thought otherwise. The Prophet (peace be upon him) contracted marriages either to protect and support a widowed woman, or bring comfort to the families whose hearts were broken by the death of their beloved father, or to cement the bonds of love with the clan of his wives, or to honor a free woman who fulfilled Allah’s Command and went against the traditions of her society by marrying a slave rather than a master seeking the Good Pleasure of Allah.
Had the Prophet (peace be upon him) been lustful, he would have opted to marry when he was in his prime youth, a period when desire for sexual gratification is at its peak. However, he married several wives only after he had grown into old age, when his desire for women had weakened. At the young age of twenty-five, he was married to only one wife, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with her), who was fifteen years older than him. She was forty while he was only twenty-five. He remained with her until she died.
It should also be noted that all the women whom he (peace be upon him) married had been married previously, except `Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) The wives of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) were:
1- Sawdah bint Zam‘ah ibn Qays Al-Qurashiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) got married to her following the death of her husband, Al-Sakran ibn ‘Amr ibn ‘Abd Shams. This took place after the death of his wife, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, in Makkah and before his migration to Al-Madinah.
(Part No. 25; Page No. 197)
When she grew old, she gave up her day and night to ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her).
2- ‘Aishah bint Al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with her): The Prophet (peace be upon him) contracted marriage with her before Sawdah. However, he did not consummate marriage with her until after its consummation with Sawdah. Among all his wives ‘Aishah was the only virgin whom the Prophet (peace be upon him) married. His marriage to ‘Aishah was meant to strengthen the bonds of kinship with Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq, the first man to embrace Islam and to support and believe in every word the Prophet (peace be upon him) uttered. He also sacrificed all his wealth for the sake of Allah.
3- Hafsah bint ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) took her in marriage although she was a previously married woman who lacked feminine charm. The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her because of the close relationship he had with her father.
4- Um Salamah Hind bint Suhayl Al-Makhzumiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her following the death of her husband, Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abdul-Asad. His intention was to support her children. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) proposed to marry her, she said: "A woman like me is not suitable for marriage. I have become a barren woman, and I am jealous and have children." The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) replied: I am older than you; as for jealousy, Allah will remove it, and as for children Allah and His Messenger are responsible for them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then married her.
5- Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after she was divorced by her husband Zayd ibn Harithah, the freed slave (and adopted son) of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was rewarding her compliance with Allah’s Command. It was through this marriage that Allah established the permissibility of marrying the wife of one’s adopted son, a matter which was difficult for the community at that time to undertake. Allah (Exalted be He) states:
So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled.
6- Um Habibah bint Abu Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after her husband, `Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh, apostatized from Islam. She stayed away from him until he died.
(Part No. 25; Page No. 198)
She was in her thirties when the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her. He contracted the marriage while she was in Abyssinia (Ethiopia), The Prophet (peace be upon him) authorized Al-Najashy to conclude the marriage contract. Her authorizer was Khalid ibn Sa‘id ibn Al-‘As. Al-Najashy gave her four hundred Dinars as Sadaq (mandatory gift to a bride from the groom). This took place in the seventh year of Hijrah (the Prophet’s migration to Madinah).
7- Juwayriyah bint Al-Harith (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after her husband Musani‘ ibn Safwan was killed on the Battle of Al-Muraysi‘. The Prophet (peace be upon him) intended to honor her people by this marriage relationship with them, especially after they had been taken as war captives in the Battle of Banu Al-Mustaliq.
8- Safiyyah bint Huyay ibn Akhtab (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her to bring solace to her broken heart following the murder of her father, paternal uncle and husband.
9- Maymunah bint Al-Harith Al-Hilaliyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her following the death of her husband, Abu Rahm ibn `Abdul-`Uzza Al-`Amiry. This marriage took place in the seventh year of Hijrah. She (may Allah be pleased with her) was approaching forty by that time.
How can Islam be called the religion of peace when it was spread by the sword?
Allegations and refutations
was islam spread by the sword?
many western allegations claim that islam was spread by the sword although the historic facts, which are so solid and stubborn, and the witnesses of the non-muslim western and eastern scholars refute such allegations and false accusations.
victims in all of the wars of the messenger muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, in twenty battles throughout nine years are exclusively ranging between 386 to 203 of non-muslims and 183 of muslims, comparing to the number of the victims of the christian religion wars between the christians catholic and protestant sects in europe that was surveyed by voltire (1694-1778). it is said that the death toll had risen to ten millions, i.e. 40% of the inhabitants of the central europe.
all of the islamic conquests were against the armies of the roman and persian occupations that occupied and subjugated the countries of the east religiously, culturally, linguistically, politically, and civilizational for ten centuries. moreover, no war broke out between the islamic armies and the inhabitants of the eastern countries while the victims of the two occupational western wars, the first and the second, in the 20th century only were sixty millions.
when the islamic conquests freed the earth, it also freed the hearts and beliefs of the people along with it. so after the religious persecution that had been practiced by the romans against the eastern christianity, that is always used in setting examples and dating the eastern churches for the age of the martyrs till now, islam left the people free in their lives and faiths. it really suffices to know that the percentage of muslims in the islamic state, after a hundred years passed over the islamic conquest, did not exceed 20% of its inhabitants! in the ottoman empire, the state of islamic caliph, the percentage of non-muslim inhabitants was 49.8% of the whole population.
if this is just a “sample” of the solid and stubborn historic facts, the witnesses of the non-muslims scholars on the peaceful spread of islam really fill the books. amongst them are:
the english orientalist george sale (1697-1736 a.d.), who translated the noble quran into english, said: “the religion of muhammad received unparalleled warm welcome all over the world. whoever says that islam spread by the power of the sword, his word is a pure allegation and vulgar error.”
the prominent english scholars sir thomas arnold (1864-1920 ) who is the best historian wrote about the spread of islam in his book entitled; the preaching of islam, said: “the common hypothesis of the sword as the factor of conversion to islam seems hardly satisfactory..the theory of the muslim faith enjoins toleration and freedom of religious life for all those followers of other faiths. justinian, the roman emperor (438-565 a.d.) is said to have had 200,000 copts put to death in the city of alexandria, and the persecutions of his successors drove many to take refuge in the desert.
the islamic conquest brought, for those copts a freedom of religious life such as they had not enjoyed for a century…and there is no evidence of their widespread apostasy to islam being due to persecution or unjust pressure on the part of their new rulers. even before the conquest was complete, while the capital, alexandria, still held out, many of them went over to islam, and a few years later the example these had set was followed by many others…
such are just a “sample” of the witnesses of the non-muslim scholars. it can be added to the other “sample” of historic facts and realties. they both declare for the prejudiced and unfair people, who rant about what they know not and claim that islam was spread by sword, that these allegations have nothing to do with the fact, objectivity and impartiality.
Do Muslims Worship Kaaba ?
islam came to preach the worship of allah the only one, and the abandon of worshipping whatever else "and they have taken to themselves gods, apart from him, that create nothing and themselves are created and possess for themselves, neither harm nor profit; neither do they possess death, nor life, nor uprising. (i.e. resurrection)." (al-furqan: 3 )
allah says : "and in no way did we send (any) messenger even before you except that we revealed to him, (saying), "there is no god except i; so worship me." (al anbiya: 25 )
ibrahim ( peace be upon him ) admonished his father about worshipping idols saying : " and as ibrahîm (abraham) said to his father éazar, "do you take to yourself idols for gods? surely i see you and your people in evident error." (al-anaam : 74 ) ; " as he said to his father, "o my father, why do you worship that which neither hears nor beholds, nor avails you anything? " (maryam : 42 )
about those idols and stones that were worshipped allah says: "do they have legs with which they walk, or (even) do they have hands with which they assault, or (even) do they have eyes with which they behold, or (even) do they have ears with which they hear? say, "invoke your associates, thereafter plot against me, (and) then do not respite me."
(al-araf : 195 )
the prophet ( peace be upon him) was asked : " what is the greatest sin ? " , he answered " to make peers to allah although he created you ".
the first thing the prophet (peace be upon him) made after his victorious return to makka was breaking all the idols in and around kaaba while uttering the verses " and say, "the truth has come and untruth has expired; surely the untruth has been certain to expire."
(al-isra : 81 ).
after all this; how could any one assume that muslims worship kaaba??
the kaaba is just a qiblah for muslims to direct their faces towards it during prayers as a form of target unification. they visit it, circumambulate around it submitting to the orders of allah. definitely they know that its just stones that have no good and no harm in themselves; but as muslims they have to submit to allah's orders even if they can't reason the wisdom behind that.
The Islamic Law is Valid for Each Era & Each Place
you may believe that the islamic law is not valid for this era, but this belief is not right, because the grounds of such belief is not valid to judge the islamic sharia, and here are some of such invalid grounds:
first:
the (islamic) countries are underdeveloped in all fields of life, and this makes others believe, under the biased mass media which aims at distorting the islamic sharia, that if their sharia was actually valid then they would not be underdevelopment like today; however, the truth is that such islamic countries do not apply the islamic sharia in this era; contrary, they are fighting it. the real reason behind such underdevelopment is that we are not applying the provisions of the islamic sharia. the corruption and injustice which govern our societies did not result from the islamic sharia; contrary such backwardness, underdevelopment, corruption and injustice resulted the very fact that we are not complying with the provisions of the islamic sharia, whether as governors or as governed people.
second:
you may see some persons applying the islamic sharia actually but they misapply its provisions because they misunderstand islam; therefore, they sometimes exaggerate or become strict. they imprison the woman, prevent her from learning, demolish traces, do not take care of their appearance and they think, by such behaviors, that they are representing the islam. moreover, some mass media tries to exploit such things and show the world such pictures to convince people that this is the islam propagated by the muslims!
therefore, people hate islam and believe, like you, that this is the sharia which the muslims invite us to apply? this is the religion which they want us to embrace? we do not need it.
these are the reasons which make people believe that the islamic sharia is not valid to govern, but they are invalid, because they are judging certain laws in a wrong manner. suppose that we have a just law but certain people apply it wrongfully, then can we say that the law is wrong or the people who apply it are wrong?
how can we judge whether a law is valid or invalid? we can judge only when we have people applying such law accurately. then, and only then, we can judge such law, whether it is valid or invalid.
i believe that judging the validity of the islamic sharia is just like judging the other religions. for example, if we find a christian criminal and murderer man, can we say that: christianity is a religion of killing and crimes? of course no, because we should differentiate between christianity as a religion and the christians who apply it, some of them apply its teachings while others do not. similarly, this applies on islam. so, if we want to judge a certain religion, whether it is valid or not, we should not establish our judgment on the status of its followers; contrary, we should view the religion and its provisions in order to be objective in our judgments.
we, the muslims, believe in three things, which are worthy of being mentioned herein:
muhammad (peace be upon him) is the last prophet, as mentioned in the holy quran {muhammad is not the father of [any] one of your men, but [he is] the messenger of allah and last of the prophets} (al ahzab 40). therefore, we believe that islam is the last divine mission.
muhammad (peace be upon him) was sent for all mankind while the messengers (peace be upon them) before him were sent to their own people only. the prophet (peace be upon him) said: ((allah the almighty has blessed me with five features which were not given to any prophet before me; ….. the prophets before me were sent to their own people only but i was sent for all mankind)) .
it is logical that prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) is the prophet of all mankind, because each prophet before him was knowing that a prophet will come after him; therefore, the prophets (peace be upon them) were sent to their own people only, because the other nations will have their own prophets. moreover, allah the almighty has sent, sometimes, more than one prophet at the same time, but each for a different nation, as the case of prophet ibrahim and lot (peace be upon them) who were sent the same time, but each for his nation only.
accordingly, since there is no prophet after muhammad (peace be upon him), it is natural then to send muhammad (peace be upon him) to all mankind, because no prophet after him will come to deliver the message of allah; therefore, it is necessary to make his mission valid for all eras and places, and for all the people who will come after him.
finally, in order to prove that the islamic sharia is valid to govern in all eras and places, i will set some examples of the history to verify my statements:
first: the arab before and after islam
it is known, historically, that the arab have not built any prestigious culture and no one heard about them except after islam. they have prevailed worldwide within less than forty years after the death of prophet muhammad – peace be upon him – and such culture would not be achieved without applying the islamic sharia which was distinguished with comprehensiveness, justice, mercy, balance and gradualness, even the original people can sue the caliph and take their right from him. once, an egyptian coptic man went to the caliph of the muslims omar – may allah be pleased with him – complaining from the injustice of the son of egypt ruler, the companion/ amr bin al aas (may allah be pleased with him); hearing that, the caliph omar (may allah be pleased with him) called the ruler and his son, and authorized the coptic man to take revenge from them both. this shining example cannot be found except in the islamic sharia. therefore, omar bin al khattab (may allah be pleased with him), said his famous statement: (we were lowest nation but allah the almighty has strengthened us with islam; therefore, if we seek the power without islam allah will lower us).
second: islam has mastered the world for six centuries under the islamic sharia
bani omiyyah has governed from 661 a.d. to 750 a.d and their state extended from spain in the west to china in the east, then bani al-abbas governed from 750 a.d. to 1258 a.d. and for the whole of such period they were governing under the islamic sharia. so, what is the meaning of this? doesn't this mean that the islamic sharia is strong and valid for governing and prevailing all the generations in all places. islam has governed several nations in all fields of life, and has succeeded, under its noble mission, to unify and gather people.
third: the economic, scientific and cultural progress under the islamic sharia
the muslims did not witness, along their history, such progress in all fields of life except after they have applied the islamic sharia, the law of allah the almighty, who said: {and if there should come to you guidance from me - then whoever follows my guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the hereafter]} (taha 123).
the economic progress was clear and obvious. at the reign of omar bin abdul aziz, he was helping those who cannot marry, pay their debts, and allocate a salary for each newly born infant from the treasury of the muslims. once, omar bin al khattab (may allah be pleased with him) found an old man begging people. seeing that, he asked him: what is your problem? the man said: i am from those who should pay the tax (jiziyah) and i am unable to pay it; therefore, i am begging people to procure such tax. hearing that, omar – may allah be pleased with him – said: "by allah the almighty we will not be just if we exhaust your youth and waste your senility", then he exempted him from the tax and gave him a sum of money from the treasury.
regarding the scientific field, the shining beams of al-hasan bin al-haitham, al-farabi, ibn sina, al-baironi, jaber bin hayyan, al-khawarizmi, al-jebreti and the others talented characters from whom the west has built their culture, appeared only during the era in which the islamic sharia was applied. isn't it a proof that the islamic sharia is valid to lead the world and find the way out from the current distress?
Why is the Marriage of a Muslim Woman from a Non-Muslim Man prohibited
the secret behind prohibiting the marriage of a muslim woman from a non-muslim man .
why does islam allow a muslim man to get married to al-ketabeyyat (christian or jewish women) while prohibiting a muslim woman to do the same?
this is a good and logical question , and before replying to it we have to confirm that islam prohibited this :
and do not marry female associators (those who associate others with allah) until they believe; and indeed a believing bondwoman is more charitable than a female associator, even if you may admire her. and do not (allow) associators to marry (your females) until they believe. and indeed a believing bondman is more charitable than an associator, even if you may admire him.(al-baqara:221)
this prohibition is mainly due to the fact that a woman, usually, follows her husband, for the man has a greater influence on his wife than she has on him. in fact, islam has a number of aims of which are the following two:
the first: islam aims at being apprehended clearly and unequivocally. this results in people's faith that it is the religion of truth. that is why islam granted a muslim man the right to get married to a non-muslim woman providing that she is one of the people of the book, which means her being christian or jewish, because she, at least, believes in allah the almighty and his inspiration, regardless of the nature of this belief. accordingly, she can understand islam easier. especially when she gets married to a true muslim committed to islam's doctrines in all his sayings and deeds. for when she touches in him islam's ethics along with his handsome equitable behavior towards her, this can be a reason for her to convert to islam. however, she has the right to stick to her religion and no one has the right to force her to convert "there is no compulsion in the religion" (al-baqara:256).
the second: islam aims at keeping its followers committed and connected to it. therefore, it doesn't let them being exposed to whatever has a negative effect on their faith. this is called temptation in religion "and temptation in religion is greater than killing"(al-baqara:217).
in fact, this kind of temptation takes several shapes and of which might be tormenting the muslim to change his/her believes.(in this case: being married to a non-muslim whatever his religion is).and why is that considered a temptation in religion? simply because, as stated above, the husband has the greater influence on his wife, and perhaps this non-muslim husband tries to exert a negative influence on his muslim wife leading her to leave her religion or, at least, to be uncommitted to its holly doctrines, which isn't wanted by islam in what concerns its followers. for islam wants to provide the suitable atmosphere for them to be committed to its teachings.
this is why islam urged the muslim woman to choose a good husband. even when she is getting married to a muslim man, she has to select the one who follows islam's doctrines commitedly and rejects who ignores them. all of that is for a muslim woman to cling to her religion and transcends herself from every negative influence.
Does Islam allow Wife Beating?
commenting on this issue, dr. muzammil h. siddiqi , former president of the islamic society of north america, states:
"according to the qur'an the relationship between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. allah says: "and among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (ar-rum: 21)
the qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. [in the event of a family dispute, the qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects]. allah almighty says: “live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. if ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (an-nisa’: 19)
it is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. he is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. but the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. if there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.
however, in some cases a husband may use some light disciplinary action in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. however, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.
the qur'an is very clear on this issue. almighty allah says: "men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what allah would have them to guard. as to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for allah is most high and great (above you all). if you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. if they wish for peace, allah will cause their reconciliation; for allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (an-nisa': 34-35)
it is important to read the section fully. one should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. this verse neither permits violence nor condones it. it guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. the word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih " which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". he further said that face must be avoided. some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak , or toothbrush.
generally, the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. he never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. in one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "how does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” (al-bukhari, english translation, vol. 8, hadith 68, pp. 42-43)
it is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. if this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
dr. jamal badawi , professor at saint mary's university in halifax, nova scotia, canada, and a cross-appointed faculty member in the departments of religious studies and management, adds:
"if the problem relates to the wife's behavior, the husband may exhort her and appeal for reason. in most cases, this measure is likely to be sufficient. in cases where the problem persists, the husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. there are cases, however, in which a wife persists in bad habits and showing contempt of her husband and disregard for her marital obligations. instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases. such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a symbolic measure than a punitive one.
even here, that maximum measure is limited by the following:
a. it must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of mutual respect, kindness and good treatment. based on the qur'an and hadith, this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz ). even then, other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.
b. as defined by hadith, it is not permissible to strike anyone's face, cause any bodily harm or even be harsh. what the hadith qualifies as "dharban ghayra mubarrih ", or light striking, was interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of siwak ! they further qualified permissible "striking" as that which leaves no mark on the body. it is interesting that this latter fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in contemporary american law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. this makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of "physical abuse," "family violence, " or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.
c. the permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction does not imply its desirability. in several hadiths, the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) discouraged this measure. here are some of his sayings in this regard:
"do not beat the female servants of allah" ;
"some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). these (husbands) are not the best of you."
in another hadith the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “how does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?”
d. true following of the sunnah is to follow the example of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who never resorted to that measure, regardless of the circumstances.
e. islamic teachings are universal in nature. they respond to the needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others. by definition, a "permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. in fact it may be to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified, or ignoring it all together. in the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse.
f. any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any "muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (qur'an or hadith). such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true sunnah of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."
