there is no wonder that the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,was at the very peak of the best sublime and noble manners for allaah the almighty says (what means): {so by mercy from allaah, [o muhammad], you were lenient with them. and if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter.} [quran 3:159]

gentleness, kindness and mildness were the most distinguishing features of the forbearance of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, reached the degree of human moral perfection that he did by tolerating and forgiving those who were ignorant and fulfilling the orders of his lord the almighty: {take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.} [quran 7:199]

he would deal with people according to such sublime morals at all times. he had the best forbearing nature whenever he was nervous. he was the most peaceful during times of disagreement and disputes. he was afflicted many times by the harshness of the bedouins, yet he confronted their harshness with total patience and never abandoned forbearance. little wonder, as allaah the almighty protected him against fancies and recklessness of power and prepared him to be compassionate to his ummah and kind to all people.

in fact, the quraysh did its best and left no stone unturned in hatching plots against him and attacking him, yet he showed patience with them and overlooked all that they did against him.

all of the people of the quraysh, including their poor and their nobles participated in conspiring against the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. however, the more they persisted in their aggression, the more he forgave their aggression and pardoned them. despite all such hostilities, when allaah the almighty bestowed power upon him and enabled him to take revenge, he forgave them all. his forbearance encompassed all people, whether friend or foe, man or woman, from his relatives and otherwise, and young or old.

concerning the members of his family and wives, he was a unique example in showing forbearance with his wives in spite of his great and noble status before allaah the almighty and people:

it was narrated that ‘umar ibn al-khattaab, may allaah be pleased with him, said, we, the people of the quraysh, would have authority over our women. when we came to live with the ansaar, we found that they were a people that were dominated by their women, so our women started to adopt the habits of the ansaari women. once i shouted at my wife, and she answered me back; i disliked her answering me back. she said, “why do you dislike that i should answer you back? by allaah, the wives of the prophet answer him back, and some of them may not speak with him for the whole day, until nightfall.”

that alarmed me and i said, "the one among them who has done this will incur a terrible loss!" then i got dressed and went to (my daughter) hafsah and asked her, “do any of you make the messenger of allaah angry all day long, until night.” she replied, “yes.” i said, “you are ruined and lost! do you not fear that allaah may be angry due to the anger of his messenger and, thus, you would be ruined?” [al-bukhaari and muslim]

contemplate the extent of the forbearance of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, with his wives when some of them might not have spoken to him for the whole day, even deserting his noble name. what is more amazing is that despite all this, the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to treat them as nicely and gently as if they had done nothing wrong.

it was narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said, “the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to me: ‘i know whether you are angry or pleased with me.’ i said, ‘how

do you know that?’ he said: ‘when you are pleased, you say, ‘no, by the lord of muhammad,' but when you are angry, you say, 'no, by the lord of ibraaheem (abraham)!’ i said, ‘yes, by allaah, o messenger of allaah! but i do not leave except your name." [al-bukhaari and muslim]

let us guess what one of us would do if his wife exceeded all reasonable limits while he is among his guests. this is what the patient prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did when one of his wives did that with him:

it was narrated that anas, may allaah be pleased with him, said, while the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was in the house of one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers sent a plate with some food. the wife at whose house the prophet was struck the hand of the servant (carrying it), causing the plate to fall and break. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gathered the broken pieces of the plate and started collecting the food which had been on the plate, and said: "your mother felt jealous." then he detained the servant till an unbroken plate was brought from the wife at whose house he was. he gave the good plate to the wife whose plate had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken. [al- bukhaari]

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, turned a blind eye to such behavior and showed patience, forbearance and forgiveness.

as for his forbearance with his servants, just read attentively some amazing testimonies from his servants themselves:

it was narrated that anas, may allaah be pleased with him, said, the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the best of people in terms

of manner. one day he wanted to send me on an errand and i said, “by allaah, i will not go.” but my intention was to go and do what the prophet of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had told me to do. i went out and passed by some boys who were playing in the market, and there the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took hold of me (by surprise) by the neck from behind. i looked at him and he was smiling. he said,

“o unays, did you go and do what i told you to?” i said, “yes, i will go, o messenger of allaah.” (anas added) by allaah, i served him for nine years and i never heard him say because of anything that i did, “why did you do such and such?” or, for something that i did not do, “why did you not do such and such?” [muslim]

as for his forbearance and forgiveness with his companions, then this is another marvelous example of the perfection of the forbearing nature of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

this is because one may have patience with his enemy in order to attract his heart to embrace islam, however, he does not need this while dealing with his companions and friends for they should observe the appropriate limits of behavior and know well what can cause contentment and what can cause anger, and if anyone of them transgresses such limits, he knows he would be rebuked. to abandon rebuke even though there is a strong reason that calls for it is a sign of the perfection of the forbearing nature.

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would forbear and forgive his companions for their mistakes and slips and did not rebuke any of them.

it was narrated that anas, may allaah be pleased with him, said, whilst we were in the mosque with the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, a bedouin came and started to urinate in the mosque. the companions of the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “stop, stop!” the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “do not interrupt him; leave him.” so they left him alone until he had finished urinating, then the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, called him and said to him: “these mosques are not the place for urinating or for anything else that is filthy; rather they are for the remembrance of allaah, prayer and the recitation of the quran.” then he told a man to bring a bucket of water and he threw it over the urine. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

it was narrated that anas, may allaah be pleased with him, said, once i was walking with the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he was wearing a najraani cloak with a thick hem. a bedouin followed him and pulled his cloak so violently that i noticed the side of the shoulder of the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was affected by the hem of the burd because of that violent pull. the bedouin said, "o muhammad, give me some of the wealth of allaah which is with you." the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, turned, looked at him, and smiled, and then ordered that he be given something. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

though he had power over his enemies,the fact that he adopted forbearance and forgiveness is clear-cut evidence of the noble manners of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and that these qualities are deeply rooted in his character to the extent that he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, encompassed his enemies with these qualities just as he would encompass his companions and loved ones.

it was narrated that jaabir ibn ‘abdullaah, may allaah be pleased with him and his father, said that he proceeded in the company of the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, towards najd (central and northern arabia) to participate in a battle and that when the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, returned from this, he too returned with him. midday came upon them while they were in a valley that had many thorny trees. the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and the people dismounted and dispersed to rest in the shade of the trees. the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, rested under a tree and hung his sword on it. they all took a nap and suddenly, they heard the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, calling us. they woke up to see a bedouin with him. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "this bedouin took out my sword while i was sleeping and when i woke up, i found the unsheathed sword in his hand and he challenged me saying,

'who will save you from me? i said thrice, 'allaah.” the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not punish him and sat down. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would adopt the qualities of forgiveness and forbearance even with the jews and even though they repeatedly mistreated and plotted against him and his companions. it was narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said,

“a group of jews came to the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, ‘as-saamu-alayk.’ (i.e., death be upon you). i understood it and said, ‘wa-‘alaykum as-saamu wal-la‘nah (death and the curse of allaah be upon you).’ the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, ‘be calm, o ‘aa’ishah. allaah loves that one should be kind and lenient in all matters.’ i said, ‘o messenger of allaah, did you not hear what they said?’ the messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘i have (already) said (to them), ‘and upon you!’’” [al- bukhaari and muslim]

the forbearance and forgiveness of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, reached the greatest possible degree and an to unbelievable extent with the people of the quraysh and taa’if who harmed and hurt him badly. they let their mindless individuals pelt him with stones until his feet bled. this day was harder for him than the day of the battle of uhud, despite the great wounds and loss that occurred on the day of uhud. what happened on the day of taa’if was even more grievous for him than anything else, and he always remembered it.

it was narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said,

i asked the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, “did you ever encounter a day that was tougher than the day of the battle of uhud?" the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: "i have seen what i have seen from your people, and the worst trouble was the trouble on the day of ‘aqabah when i presented myself to ibn ‘abd yaaleel ibn ‘abd kulaal and he did not respond to my call. so i departed, overwhelmed with excessive sorrow, and proceeded on aimlessly, and i was not aware of my whereabouts till i found myself at qarn ath-tha‘aalib where i lifted my head towards the sky to see a cloud shading me unexpectedly. i looked up and saw jibreel (gabriel) in it. he called me saying, ‘allaah has heard your people's words to you, and what they have responded to you with. allaah has sent the angel of the mountains to you so that you may order him to do whatever you wish to these people.' the angel of the mountains called and greeted me, and then said, ‘o muhammad, order what you wish. if you like, i will let al-akhshabayn (the two mountains surrounding makkah) collapse over them.’ (the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said): no but i hope that allaah will let them beget children who will worship allaah alone and worship none beside him." [al-bukhaari and muslim]

what a great forbearing and forgiving nature!

the most amazing thing is that his forbearing and forgiving nature even encompassed his enemies amidst their fighting and heinous plots against him!

it was narrated that ibn mas‘ood, may allaah be pleased with him, said, “it is as if i can see the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, telling us the story of one of the prophets whose people beat him and made him bleed, and he was wiping the blood from his face and saying: ‘o allaah, forgive my people for they do not know.’” [al-bukhaari and muslim]

here we have the quraysh, which confined the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his companions, may allaah be pleased with them, within a narrow pass (shi‘b abu taalib) for three years, and obstructed their food supplies until they reached a degree of exhaustion that made them resort to eating the leaves of trees and animal skins. the cries of women and children suffering from extreme hunger were heard at a distance. quraysh did not have mercy with them and overlooked their kinship rights. afterwards, and in spite of such heinous actions, they made an earnest plea to the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, seeking his help when they themselves were afflicted with hunger and fear. they wanted him to intervene and ask thumaamah ibn uthaal, chief of the banu haneefah, to reverse his decision that they would never get a grain of wheat from yamaamah unless the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would allow it. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

abu sufyaan and a delegation from the quraysh came to the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and asked him by their blood relationship to intercede with thumaamah to give them food for they were starving to death. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, therefore wrote to thumaamah asking him to give quraysh their supplies. when that message reached thumaamah, he said, “i am at the command of the messenger of allaah.” [al-bayhaqi]