The mother in Islam

Allah The Almighty Says (what means):

·      {Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.} [Quran 4:36]

·      {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.} [Quran 17:23]

It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said, “A man came to the Messenger of Allah  and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, who is most entitled to my best companionship?’ The Prophet  said:‘Your mother.’ The man said, ‘Who comes next?’ The Prophet  said:‘Your mother.’The man further asked, ‘Who comes next?’ The Prophet  [again] said:‘Your mother.’The man asked [for the fourth time], ‘Who comes next?’ The Prophet  replied:‘Your father.’”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Al-Haafith Ibn Hajar  said,

[Ibn Battaal  said, “This means that one's dutifulness to his mother should be three times his dutifulness to his father, due to the great difficulty that she alone suffers in pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, and then, she shares with the father in his upbringing. This is what the statement of Allah The Almighty refers to (which means): {And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.} [Quran 31:14] Thus, both parents were made equal in that they should receive care [from their children], whereas the mother alone was favored with a greater share of this care by virtue of these three things.”

Al-Qurtubi  said, “The point is that the mother deserves the greater portion of dutifulness from her child, and her right overrides that of the father in case giving preference to one of them over the other is required.”

‘Iyaadh  said, “The majority of scholars are of the opinion that the mother is superior to the father when it comes to the child's dutifulness. It is also said, as narrated on the authority of Maalik, that their share of dutifulness is equal. However, the correct opinion is the former.”] [End of quote from Fat-h Al-Baari]

Moreover, the pure and full of wisdom Sharee‘ah encourages Muslims to maintain kinship ties with even the polytheistic mother. In confirmation of this, it was narrated on the authority of Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said, “My mother, who was a polytheist, came to me during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah . I sought his opinion saying, ‘My mother has come to me wishing to receive kind treatment from me; shall I maintain kinship ties with her?’ The Prophet  said: ‘Yes, maintain kinship ties with her.’” [Al-Bukhari] 

The mother in disbelieving countries

The state of the family, in general, and the mother, in particular, in the non-Islamic communities is deplorable. One can hardly find an integrated family there whose members maintain kinship ties with each other and have regular meetings in which they could assemble as a family. As one of those who has witnessed the condition in some countries of disbelief has related, you may find in the markets or streets a mother/father in the company of her/his daughter/son, but rarely would you see a complete family shopping or walking in the street together.

When the mother or father grows old, their children (those who try to act dutifully) hasten to put them in a retirement home. Some Muslims when visiting one of these homes asked ten old men and women about their ultimate wish; they all said that they simply wished to die. This is simply due to the oppression, grief and sorrow they suffer because of the bad state they had reached, as their children had abandoned them at a time when they were in dire need of them. 

The Date of Mother's Day in different countries

The time and manner in which Mother’s Day is celebrated differ from country to country. It is held on the second Sunday of February in Norway, on the second Sunday of October in Argentina, on the first day of spring in Lebanon, on the first Sunday of May in South Africa, and on the last Sunday of May in France, where they celebrate Family Day, in which the family members gather for dinner after which a cake is presented to the mother.

In Sweden, the holiday of Family Day is on the last Sunday of May, and several days prior to it, the Swedish Red Cross sells a lot of little plastic roses and distributes them to the stay-at-home mothers who are engaged in taking care of their children.

In Japan, like North America, the celebration is held on the second Sunday of May, in which pictures are drawn by children of 6-14 years of age and are presented in a traveling exhibit under the name "My Mother", which, every four years, moves from one country to another.

Mother's Day: A Historical Synopsis

According to a researcher, “Some historians claim that the celebration of Mother's Day was held first by the ancient Greeks during the celebrations of the spring festival. These celebrations were a gift to the Mother Goddess – Rhea – who was the wife of the Father God - Kronus.

In ancient Rome, there was a similar celebration for adoring or revering the Earth Mother, Cybele. These latter celebrations started in about 250 BC. The religious festivals of the Romans were called Hilaria, and were held from March 15 to 18. 

Mothering Sunday in England

It resembled the present celebrations of Mother's Day. It was called Mothering Sunday, or Refreshment Sunday, for it was held during the period of the great fasting (vernal equinox). It is said that the festivals held by the Romans to adore and revere the Roman Cybele were replaced by the Church with festivals to adore and revere Maryam (Mary), ay Allah exalt her mention. Initially, this was done to encourage individuals to visit the church to which they belonged, as well as the mother church, carrying their offerings. In about 1600 CE, male and female youth of simple crafts, along with servants, started to visit their mothers on "Mothering Sundays", carrying gifts and foodstuff.

In the United States

In the United States, the story was quite different:

Anna Jarvis (1864-1948) was the founder of the idea and prospect of making Mother's Day a nationally recognized holiday in the United States. She never married, and was strongly attached to her mother. She was also a daughter of the monastery who studied in the Regular Andrew Sunday School of the church in Grafton, West Virginia.

Two years after the death of her mother, she embarked upon congressmen and senators in an attempt to announce Mother's Day as a nationally-recognized holiday in the country. Feeling that the children do not appreciate the efforts of their mothers during their lives, she hoped that this day would intensify the feelings of children for their mothers and fathers, and strengthen weakened and, sometimes, lost family ties. 

The beginning

The church honored Miss Anna Jarvisin Grafton, West Virginia, Philadelphia and Pennsylvania on May 10th, 1908, thereby marking the beginning of the celebrations of Mother's Day in the United States.

Carnations, particularly white ones, were her mother's favorite flowers for they are symbolic of goodness, purity and tolerance - all characteristics of a mother's love. Over time, the red carnation came to be a symbol of the mother's being alive, and the white of her being dead.

Oklahoma, West Virginia, witnessed the first official announcement of Mother's Day in the United States in 1910. By 1911, all the United States had recognized the celebration of Mother's Day. By this time too, the celebrations had extended to Mexico, Canada, China, Japan, Latin America and Africa. On May 10th, 1913, the American Congress officially approved the announcement of celebrating Mother's Day, and the first Sunday of May was chosen to celebrate it. 

The Arab Mother's Day

The idea of celebrating Mother's Day among the Arabs began in Egypt at the hands of the brothers, Mustafa Ameen and ‘Ali Ameen, the founders of the press house of Akhbaar Al-Yawm. ‘Ali Ameen received a message from a mother in which she complained of her children's harsh and rude treatment, and how she suffered from their ingratitude. Coincidently, another mother visited Mustafa Ameen in his office and related to him her story. She had lost her husband while her children were still young, and did not marry again; rather, she devoted herself to them, double-acting as the father and the mother simultaneously. She took care of her children with all her power until they graduated from university and got married; each of them had his independent life, and no longer visited her except at far intervals. In this respect, both Mustafa and ‘Ali Ameen wrote in their famous column, Fikrah, a proposal to fix a day for mothers as a reminder of their favors, referring to the fact that this is practiced by the West, and that Islam encourages people to care for the mother. Consequently, they received a lot of letters of encouragement. Some suggested assigning a whole week instead of only a day to the mother. Others rejected the idea under the pretext that caring for the mother should continue all year round and not only on one day. However, the majority of readers supported the idea of fixing one day, and chose March 21st to be Mother's Day, which coincides with the vernal equinox (the first day of spring), in reference to its being a symbol of openness, purity and good feelings.

Egypt held the first celebration of Mother's Day on March 21st 1956. Then, from Egypt the idea extended to other Arab countries.

Some suggested changing the name of “Mother's Day” into “Family Day” so as to honor the father as well. However, this idea was not widely accepted, as people considered it to be an underestimation of the mother's right, and the accusation was hurled that the advocates of this idea “believe it to be too much” for the mother to have a day of her own. Until now, this day is celebrated in Arab countries via different mass media, which depict ideal mothers who have led great lives of struggle for the sake of their children in all respects, and honor them.

Little wonder then to know that most of those who celebrate this day are Jews and Christians and those who imitate them, demonstrating it to be a kind of care for the mother and women in general. Moreover, in the Arab world, some Masonic clubs celebrate this day, such as the Rotary Club and the Lions Club.

Mother's Day, i.e. March 21st, is the beginning of the year according to the Christian Copts, and the Persian New Year's Day of the Kurds.

The Prophet, , said that his Ummah (nation) would imitate the previous nations from among the Jews, Christians and Persians. He did not say this, of course, by way of praising their deeds in so much as by way of dispraising and chastising those who do so.

It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, , said: “You will follow the ways of those who were before you, span by span, and cubit by cubit [i.e. so completely and literally] that if they should go into the hole of a lizard, you too would go there.” The Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Do you mean the Jews and the Christians?” He , replied:“Who else?”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said that the Prophet, , said:“The Hour will not be established until my Ummah imitates the deeds of the previous nations, span by span and cubit by cubit.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah! Do you mean by those [nations] the Persians and the Romans?” The Prophet,  said: “Who could it be other than them?” [Al-Bukhari]

Indeed, the ignorant, heretical innovators and deviants of this Ummah have followed the previous nations of the Jews, Christians and Persians in their beliefs, methods, morals and even appearance. It is of great importance to note how they follow and imitate them in the innovation of "Mother's Day" or "Family Day", which is a day invented by the Christians to allegedly honor the mother. It has become an exalted day, on which all usual affairs cease to function, and people maintain relations with their mothers, sending them gifts and loving messages. However, once it is over, everything returns to its old state of severing relations and undutifulness.

Why would Muslims need such an imitation, given that Allah The Almighty has enjoined upon them to be dutiful to the mother, forbidden them from being undutiful to her and made the highest degree of Paradise a reward for that dutifulness to her.

Definition of “‘Eed” (A Special Day of Celebration)

In the Arabic language, the word 'Eed comes from the root 'Awd, which means to recur. Ibn Taymiyyah  said, “The word ‘Eed is a term given to the occasion of assembly which customarily recurs annually, monthly, weekly and so on.” [Iqtidhaa’ As-Siraat Al-Mustaqeem]

Ibn ‘Aabideen  said, “‘Eed was given this name because on it, Allah The Almighty gives various kinds of favors that recur [in terms of goodness] upon His slaves every day, like breaking the fast after prevention from food, Sadaqat Al-Fitr (obligatory charity given after Ramadan), completing Hajj by performing the Ifaadhah Tawaaf (circumambulation) and the meat of the slaughtered sacrifices, and so on. Moreover, delight, pleasure, activity and refreshment are features of such days.” [Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen]

How many `Eeds are there in Islam?

It is noteworthy that there are many festivals that the Muslims celebrate nowadays, like the Day of the Tree, Labor Day, the Day of Accession, birthdays, and so on, in addition to many other days, all of which spring from Jewish, Christian and polytheistic cultures. It should be noted here that these days have no basis in religion, since in Islam, there are only two occasions of annual celebration: ‘Eed Al-Adh’ha and ‘Eed Al-Fitr.

It has been narrated on the authority of Anas ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said that during the days of Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance), people had two days as festivals every year on which they used to entertain themselves. When the Messenger of Allah, , came to Madeenah, he said: “You had two days [as yearly festivals] on which you used to play, and Allah has given you instead another two [occasions] which are much better: ‘Eed Al-Fitr [breaking fast after the month of Ramadan] and ‘Eed Al-Adh’ha [the tenth of Thul-Hijjah, on which you slaughter a sacrifice].” [Abu Daawood and An-Nasaa’i, Al-Albaani - Saheeh]

The Sharee‘ah stance on Mother's Day

Islam is not in need of what is innovated by others, whether it is Mother's Day or anything else; it has its own laws which enjoin dutifulness to mothers. Muslims are in no need for the innovated celebration of Mother's Day. Ibn Taymiyyah  commented on a similar case saying: "Thus, it is clear to you how perfect this Sharee‘ah, with its true natural-disposition, is. The wisdom behind Allah The Almighty ordaining for His Messenger  to do the opposite of whatever the disbelievers do in all affairs is that opposition is more likely to remove evil, and is farther from falling into the same mistakes which a lot of those people have fallen into."