I'm not a mother. But I've been blessed with a great one for almost a quarter century. That's education enough, at least for one thing:

Choosing a partner who embodies the top four qualities I believe a mother must have to help their Muslim children, in the words of the Quran (which mean), {"He made her grow in a good manner…"} [Quran 3:37]. So here they are:

1. Maturity: This trait leads my list because the surest way to guarantee a child won't be reared properly is for it to be raised by another child. A woman of minimum maturity cares for the souls that have come from her womb like the Heavenly blessings they are: Far and away, the most important family responsibility for both mother and father. The wise woman knows the wellbeing of her offspring comes before her career, social life, even her own needs.

2. Knowledge: Education, both Islamic and academic (not that these are different), is essential in a good mother. It is not a coincidence that children of highly educated parents often do well in school. My prototypical mother is one who can help the little ones with their academics even when they get to be big ones and go on to higher education.

Moreover, a woman who is well grounded in the religious sciences makes the very best soil for child growth. That old adage about mother being the first teacher is entirely true.

During my own childhood, for instance, my mother made an effort to treat birthdays and our many other market-driven holidays just like any other day. I intend to liberate my children accordingly, having freely lived the great benefits of this policy. A good Islamic background does, indeed, have a righteous domino effect on the character of our children and, therefore, the virtue of the family.

Now, Islamic knowledge means more than giving children a laundry list of "do’s and don’ts." I was particular when I used the phrase "religious sciences" regarding a good mother's education, for a mother, like a father, needs to understand how it is that we come to judgments, practices, and jurisdictions from the Quran and Sunnah. In this way, children will not merely accumulate disconnected outcomes but learn the processes by which they are to deduce their own conclusions about moral and religious issues, instead of blindly following a person or group.

3. Patience and mercy: I really can't think of more crucial human characteristics than these twin attributes. Mothers facing the frenzied pressures of our tough social environment profoundly need both. It is critical that a good mother refrain from hitting or veiling at her children out of frustration, of which there is much to go around. Children carry the emotional scars of unnecessary and unfair beatings with them into adulthood and often develop complexes and hold grudges against their parents because of this. Additionally, it is sinful for any of us to abuse our authority in the form of harmful physical or verbal abuse.

4. Role modeling: The mother I envision for my own children is, most of all, a role model, an integrated example of Islam in motion. For it is by this that she will best represent for her children how one lives as a whole human being. It is, moreover, the preeminent, most dependable way for her to gain their sovereign respect, on top of the natural feelings they have for her as their mother, which is important. Children should live thinking that their mother is close to perfect. She can't forbid her child from listening to hip hop music, for example, while she sways to R&B or Arabic songs. Part of modeling is also literal: She dresses modestly and carries herself with the dignity a Muslim woman should.

This is not only ideal for daughters but sons, as well. The girls learn how they ought to behave and the boys— along with that—begin to understand what they should really want in a wife, someone whose merits approach the high standard they have grown up with in their mother.

I have no illusions about being able to supplant a mother's role in the life of the children I pray that God gives me. For rearing a child correctly does, indeed, take an exclusive dedication from a "real" woman.

Yet just as mothers grow proud of' their children, so too daughters and, perhaps, especially sons, swell with a unique sense of honor when they begin to realize the worthiness of their mother. Soon, they will be looking around to see how other mothers treat their children and comparing it to their own situations.

I ask Allah to grant me, and all my unmarried peers, children of the righteous who esteem their mothers. I know no human being is perfect. But good Muslim mothers (mom!), you come closer to this than any of us.

 

When we want to teach our kids Tawheed (i.e. Islamic monotheism) should we have to read classical texts and books in this regard?

 

No, this is not needed in the early stages of their lives because this requires long hours of attentiveness and hard work, which is difficult for children.

Later in life, one can do so when their level of comprehension allows them to grasp what is being read and said to them. Initially, one can convey what he wants in the form of relating stories of the companions of the Prophet  who gave precedence to their faith and to worshipping Allah over living in their homelands and amongst their families and tribes, and highlight that this was because the companions, may Allah be pleased with them, realized that the reason why Allah created us was for the sole purpose of worshipping Him.

 

One may resort to other means of teaching them, such as:

Utilizing Quranic study circles:

In such a case the parent may stop at certain verses which address a specific aspect of Tawheed and explain it. An example for this is the verses addressing the story of Prophet ‘Eesaa, may Allah exalt his mention, and that he was not crucified as the Christians claim, but the parent must choose simple phrases that are within the level of the child’s understanding and comprehension.

Relating stories of the Prophet  and his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, and other heroes in Islam:

Children like hearing stories, and thus the parents should take advantage of this interest in them. One should not simply relate the story without highlighting certain matters and emphasizing on the lessons one can extract from these stories.

Commenting on some events:

One can remind the children with the massacre that took place to the Muslims in Bosnia and the atrocities that are currently taking place to the Muslims in Palestine, Iraq and other places and make it clear for them that their suffering is because of their faith and because they are Muslims. This will make the child sympathize with his fellow Muslims.

Exploiting certain situations:

When the child is ill, the parent can instill in him the principle that Allah Alone is the One Who can cure and that medicine is but a means and that it is Allah Who made it a cause to cure. Clarify that Allah is The Only One who can benefit or cause harm, and He is the only One to seek refuge in to lift any harm. Parents should exploit all other situations to instill different principles of Tawheed.

Setting a good example:

A parent could be a means to instill certain values and basics of Tawheed through his or her conduct and actions. For example, a parent may praise a person in front of his children only because he is a righteous one or a one who fights Jihaad. Likewise, a parent may dispraise another person because he is a disbeliever.

This clarifies to the children one of the principles of faith, and that is love and hatred are both done for the sake of Allah and not because so and so person deprived us form a job or money that we wanted. Parents should be careful in front of their children lest the children adopt a bad habit, because it is the parents who have the most effective influence on the children.

Correcting wrong concepts or words:

During the child’s daily activities, they may utter or do something Islamically wrong or contradicting to Tawheed and it is the role of the parents to correct them. The child may swear by other than Allah, and it becomes mandatory upon the parents to clarify that this is a form of disbelief and associating with Allah, and so forth.

A child may hear at school that Santa is a nice man who brings gifts and nice things, then the parents must explain that this Santa is a symbol for non-Muslims (namely the Christians) and that he is nothing but a myth made up by them, and that the only One Who Has the power to benefit or cause harm is Allah Alone.

Likewise, if the child sees on TV that a certain character controls the wind or the rain, the parents must make it clear that this is association with Allah and that these are qualities that are exclusive to Allah.

 

These were some suggestions of simple and important means and methods through which parents can clarify aspects and principles of Tawheed to their children.