Question

I am feeling very disappointed right now. In fact, my heart is burning. I have been searching for a better half for four years, as my marriage failed to materialize at the eleventh hour four years ago. I thought that it was for the best, as Allah, the Exalted, plans something better for you. I also asked for the best better half in Makkah, where supplications are not rejected. After four years, when I finally arranged my marriage and was going to get married, I got some information about the girl. Shaytan (the devil) created suspicions about the girl having fornicated. For four years, I continued to supplicate for a girl with a worthy character and made all possible supplications, including 'Allahumma Ajirni fi musibati...' I also performed Istikharah (prayer of consultation) before going ahead. At this stage, it is not possible to go back on my decision without concrete evidence, which is impossible to obtain, as only Allah, the Exalted, knows the facts, and more importantly, it would break many hearts. So I think I will let my heart burn instead of breaking so many hearts and so many dreams. However, I am very disappointed and ask myself why Allah, the Exalted, put me in such a situation while I continuously prayed to save me from such a scenario. I have not ever touched any girls, so where is the call of Allah, the Exalted, Who says that "for good men, I have made good women."

Answer

May Allah make thing easy for you. From your letter, I see some things that are part of the problem. You need to understand the nature of this life, as Allah informed us in the Quran. This life is a test, everyone is tested, whether it be with things we like or things we do not like. Allah, the Almighty, said, {Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned.} [Quran 21:35]

Some people are tested with matters of ease, they have wealth, health, and all that they ask for. They can be Muslims or disbelievers, it does not matter, because all are being tested. If Allah is testing you with what you see as difficult, you should be pleased with Allah. You use all the means that you have, and at the end you are pleased with what Allah decrees for you, knowing that everything is there for a reason.

It is not clear from your statements why you have suspicions regarding your intended wife. If you do not have clear, concrete evidence, then you should stay away from these doubts, and it should not burn your heart, because there is no basis to it then. If she is not religious and openly commits sins, then you should avoid marrying her, even if you think that this will break hearts. Do what is beneficial for you and your religion, and do not worry about breaking anyone's heart. One of the big mistakes that people do is when they get married just because they feel bad for their partner. It causes difficulties later on in life. Make your decision now before you get married, regardless of whether this is a good choice for you or not; if you are not convinced to marry that girl, then do not betray her and stay away.

When we supplicate for matters of this life, we do not know what is good for us; that is why we pray Istikharah and leave it to Allah. You should use all available means, ask the people of knowledge, be determined, and then rely on Allah, the Most High, for all of your affairs.

Life is too short to be wasted in worries and sadness. Look positively at everything you go through, and always keep your focus on the end result, the Hereafter. That is why the Quran always takes us to the Hereafter to see the outcome of our actions, so that we make decisions accordingly. The real regret is the regret in the Hereafter, and the real loss is the loss in the Hereafter. So my sincere advice to you is for you to have good expectations in thinking about Allah, the Most Merciful; He only decrees what is best for you if you know how to worship Allah accordingly, with patience and while being grateful. May Allah make it easy for you.