Out of all the previous divine religions, none has given due importance to the family as Islam did. In doing so, Islam has legislated procedures and means which maintain security and preserve stability within the family. It has also prescribed some measures which prevent the family from collapse and destruction. We -- particularly in the present time where immorality abounds and temptations are overwhelming -- have to return to the endless spring of the Quran, the Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) as well as the sayings of the righteous predecessors which are guiding beacons for us along our road to maintain family stability.

Islam has initiated several measures to maintain the stability of the family as well the whole Muslim community. In this article, I will discuss only two measures that Allah The Almighty has legislated to avoid the disintegration of the family structure and to maintain the unity of the Muslim community and steadfastness in the face of the huge challenges that the entire Muslim Ummah (nation) is facing. Such challenges are directed to the Muslim family in particular which has become a clear target for the schemes of Westernization and corruption led by the enemies of Islam from among the Jews and others.

1- Restricting the gates to divorce to maintain marital life and safeguard the community:

To avoid making divorce the first decision in case of dissention and dispute, Islam stated stages for reconciliation between the spouses, including:

1)  The policy of reconciliation between the disputing spouses. Reconciliation is recommended even before dissention worsens and its evil consequences emerge. The arbitrators are chosen from the spouses' families because they are more capable of reconciling them and of knowing the details. The arbitrators should truly seek reconciliation and maintenance of the marital life, and as such Allah will help them to achieve this. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].} [Quran 4:35]

2)  Islam directed the spouses to exert their best efforts in reconciliation when dissention and dispute occur among them. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess.} [Quran 4:128] Commenting on the last verse, At-Tabari  said, “There is a consensus that this is applicable when the wife is unattractive or very old and feels that her husband no longer desires her, treats her with contempt or inclines to other women. In such a case, she can waive some of her rights in order to appease him and maintain her marital life.”

3)  Islam warns against following whims and desires as well as surrendering to emotions, which overwhelm and change. A husband may feel aversion towards his wife, but if he is patient, this feeling will soon change. Therefore, it is not acceptable that a husband divorces his wife because of these temporary feelings of aversion. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:18]

In a Hadeeth (narration), the Prophet  said: “No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he would surely like another.” [Muslim]

This means that a husband could hate one of his wife's characteristics while he is heedless of her other good ones. Consequently, he has to think deliberately before divorce as he may prefer keeping her and his feeling of dislike could change.

It was narrated that a man consulted ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab  about divorcing his wife and ‘Umar  said to him, [Fi Thilaal Al-Quran: Sayyid Qutb] “‘Do not do so.’ ‘I do not love her,’ the man argued. ‘Umar  said, ‘Are families built only on love? Where is, then, mutual care and the maintenance of rights and duties?’”

The statement of ‘Umar  indicates how Islam is keen to maintain the solemn marital contract as Allah The Almighty describes it in the Quran Saying (what means): {And they have taken from you a solemn covenant.} [Quran 4:21] Even if love is missing in marital life, there is still scope for cooperation, solidarity and the fear of blame for divorce which distresses the wife, the children and the husband himself in many cases.

 

1-   When divorce is unavoidable, the best form is to divorce the wife only once during a period of purity during which no incident of intercourse takes place. This is the meaning of the verse in which Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period.} [Quran 65:1]

The period of menstruation mostly brings on feelings of lethargy, alienation and irritability. On the other hand, the period of purity features intermixing between the spouses, mutual understanding and interaction. Consequently, when a husband divorces his wife while she is menstruating or during a period of purity in which an incident of intercourse takes place, this is, as expressed by some of the righteous predecessors including Ibn Taymiyyah  a divorce based upon Bid‘ah (innovation) which contradicts the wise Sharee‘ah (Islamic legislation). Actually, this form of divorce contradicts the ordinances of Allah The Almighty because it is an innovated matter in religion and does not cancel the original state (i.e. the marriage contract) which is established by the Quran, the Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) as well as the scholars’ consensus.

The Prophet  rejected this form of divorce and nullified it. [Ibn al-Qayyim] The majority of scholars, however, are of the view that this form of divorce is effective. Consequently, when a husband decides to divorce his wife after he had divorced her while she was menstruating or during a period of purity in which an incident of intercourse took place and then took her in wedlock again, he has to divorce her according to the Sharee‘ah-approved manner.

2- Permissibility of polygyny if one can be fair:

There are great advantages in polygyny including, for example:

1)   The wife may suffer from an incurable disease and does not expect a full recovery, and therefore she is neither able to manage her home nor fulfill her husband’s rights. Meanwhile, she is poor and has neither wealth to live from in case of divorce nor is she a breadwinner capable of taking care of herself. Does chivalry entail divorcing her in this case? The answer is of course no. Rather, chivalry entails that he keeps her as his wife. Nevertheless, is it just that he retains her as his wife while he badly needs someone to take care of him, manage his affairs, maintain his chastity and provide him with offspring? This would mean sentencing him to misery and wretchedness. Moreover, this would be a wretched fate for them both. Rather, justice entails allowing him to marry another wife. Consequently, chivalry and justice entail allowing polygyny in such cases.

2)   The wife could be infertile, and although she may spare no effort in seeking a cure and her husband may be keen to utilize the available means for her to conceive, their efforts may be in vain. What is the judgment of justice and human nature in this case? Should the husband suppress his desire to have a child to please him in his lifetime and inherit him after death or marry another woman after keeping patient with his wife's infertility for a period of time and losing hope in having children from her? Like the previous wife, such a woman could be poor and have no breadwinner. In such a case, faithfulness, kind association and chivalry entail that he keeps her, maintains her and takes care of her.

3)   In most nations, particularly in certain circumstances, women noticeably outnumber men. Consequently, when each man marries only one wife, other women and young girls will remain spinsters. This means that they will harbor rancor against married men and women. This also means exposing their chastity to danger. In such a case, the wives themselves will be afflicted with evil, for the unmarried women will share their husbands with them secretly. This evil also afflicts men for unmarried women are relatives to men and what hurts their reputation hurts their relatives as well.

Discussing the advantages of polygyny, Shaykh Ash-Shinqeeti  said,

“It is one of the normal ways of Allah in the universe that men are less than women in number and more vulnerable to death in all fields of life. Consequently, if the man is forbidden from marrying more than one woman, there will be a huge number of unmarried women who will resort to adultery. Neglecting the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah in this issue is one of the greatest reasons behind lacking morals and degradation to the degrees of animals in losing chastity, honor, nobility and morals. Glory be to The Ever Wise and The Ever Acquainted with everything.” [Adhwaa’ Al-Bayaan]

4)   Unlike women who rarely have children after the age of forty-five, man is naturally able to have children even after the age of sixty. Consequently, when a man marries at an older age or loves having a lot of children, preventing him from marrying another wife is a form of confinement. Also, unlike the woman who is prevented by pregnancy from having children all the time, the husband is able to do so at any time.

To sum up:

Islam legislated many regulations which safeguard the Muslim family and prevent it from disintegration. The family is the essential pillar of the entire Muslim community and its inviolable fort. This indicates the justice and perfection of the Islamic Sharee‘ah as well as its keenness to do what is beneficial to humans in both worlds.