One of the greatest blessings Allah, the Exalted, bestows upon His servants is having righteous brothers with whom they get along and among whom there is mutual love. No doubt, such brotherliness has rights that should be observed. Our topic here is not the general rights between Muslims, yet the special rights of brotherhood, which we will address in the following points:

First: Sincerity in love

This means that a person's love for his Muslim brother should be sincere for the sake of Allah, the Almighty, not for some worldly interest. This is indicated in an authentic hadith in which the Prophet  said:

There are three things, whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith therein: When Allah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anything else; when he loves a person and only loves him for the sake of Allah; and when he would hate to go back to disbelief, as much as he would hate to be thrown into fire.

What counts is not to merely love your Muslim brother; what really matters about this form of fulfilling the meaning of servitude to Allah Almighty is to obey His commands. Hence, your love for a person in particular or your Muslim brothers in general should be for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, not for a worldly purpose. If love is intended for the sake of Allah Almighty, it is hoped to continue; otherwise, it usually does not last; rather, it fades away. As the saying goes: "What is intended for Allah Almighty endures and continues, and what is intended for other than Him ceases and discontinues." Such love may even transform into hostility – may Allah protect us from this.

Second: Protection of honor

During his speech in the farewell pilgrimage, the Prophet  reportedly said: "Indeed, your blood, property, and honor are unlawful to one another…" So, the Muslim's honor in general is held inviolable. This inviolability is even greater when it comes to a special bond of brotherhood between two Muslims. It is more appropriate for each of them to protect the honor of the other, given their special brotherliness and love, which do not exist in this way between either of them and other people.

Considering the fact that the Muslim is required to protect the honor of his Muslim brother who is far from him, then what about the one with whom he has friendly relations; cooperation in righteousness and piety; and mutual endeavor to do good deeds, please their Lord, show servitude to Him, and keep away from sins.

Undoubtedly, this right entails some points, such as the following:

- Overlooking and concealing his faults. When a person has a special brotherly relationship with another person, he surely knows things about him that other people do not know. Some defects, therefore, might appear to him. One of the rights of his Muslim brother upon him is to conceal these defects and overlook them. Were the other person to know that his brother Muslim would expose his faults, he would be cautious with regard to him. Hence, it is not permissible for a Muslim to divulge the faults of his Muslim brother, whether in his presence or behind his back, and whether these faults are related to him, his family, or otherwise. Acting in line with his magnanimity and the rights of brotherhood, a loyal friend never reveals the faults of his Muslim brother.

- Keeping his secret and not disclosing it. This differs from the preceding point, for a secret is what a person confides to another, whether it pertains to him or someone else; verily, meetings are confidential. The Prophet  is reported to have said: "If a man speaks to another man about some matter and then he turns away from him, this is a trust."

Allah, the Exalted, commands us to fulfill trusts. The righteous predecessors used to keep secrets to the extent that when one of them confided a secret to his Muslim brother and ended his talk, he would ask him as to whether he retained it in his memory as a secret. To this, the other person would reply: "No! Rather, I have forgotten it," indicating their excessive care in keeping secrets.

- One of the aspects of protecting the honor of a Muslim brother is to associate with him while acting upon the hadith in which the Prophet  said: "A sign of man's good observance of Islam is to keep away from that which does not concern him." So, do not try to disturb your Muslim brother by asking questions about things which he did not inform you about. You should rather leave him the choice to tell you something if he finds it beneficial to do so, or to refrain from doing so. Do not press him to tell you something in a way that disturbs and annoys him.

Third: Thinking good of him

We are required to think positively about Muslims in general. There is even a greater reason to do so with those who are connected to us in a special relationship. Allah Almighty says (what means): {O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.} [Quran 49:12]


Also, the Prophet  is reported to have said: "Avoid bad assumptions, for verily, bad assumptions are the worst form of lying."

The righteous predecessors used to keep away from such dispraised attitude. They used to search for excuses for one another. One of them even said: "I look for excuses for my brother, up to seventy excuses; then, I say: 'Perhaps there is an excuse for him that I do not know.'"

‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, reportedly said: "Do not think ill about a word uttered by your brother, while you can find some favorable interpretation of it."

A Muslim should not leave a means against him for the devil, whereby he can sow hostility between him and his Muslim brothers through bad assumptions. Indeed, the devil seeks to stir up animosity among people. In the Quran, Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {The devil only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred ...} [Quran 5:91]

We will address the other rights in a coming article, Allah willing. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon His Slave and Messenger, Muhammad, and upon his household and Companions. Praise be to Allah, Lord of all the worlds.

If it is easy for you to give without being annoyed, you are a generous person. If you are one of those who donate profusely and retain only little for themselves, you are openhanded. However, if you give while in need yourself, you have reached the highest degree of generosity: altruism; this stems from staunch faith, genuine love, perseverance and steadfastness, and hope of reward from Allah The Almighty. 


The following are some of the most important factors that urge one to favor others over his or her self: 


1-Love of good manners and abhorrence of incivility: one’s level of self-sacrifice is proportionate to one’s desire to possess good morals, because favoring others is the epitome of courtesy. 


2- Dislike of stinginess: anyone who hates miserliness knows that there is no means of countering it other than with generosity and kind acts. 


3-   Respect of the rights of others: when a person gives people their due and respect, he or she meticulously fulfills their rights, fully aware that if he or she does not reach the level of altruism, he or she will not give others their due. 


4-      Belittling the worldly life and aspiring for the Hereafter: if people are primarily concerned with the next life, the worldly one becomes inconsequential in their sight; they know that they will be recompensed for whatever they give here, on the Day of Resurrection when they will be in dire need. 


5-Adapting oneself to tolerating hardship and distress: this helps one reach a degree of self-sacrifice that may result in poverty and harsh conditions; so, if a person is not accustomed to endurance, he or she will not be capable of giving while in need. 


Degrees of altruism 


Among the scholars who have divided altruism into varying degrees, is Ibn ul-Qayyim  who said: 


“The first level is to favor others over yourself in that which does not diminish your commitment to the religion, hinder your path [to Allah] or waste your time; this means that you favor their interests over your own, such as when you feed them while you are hungry, dress them while you are still unclothed and offer them water while you are thirsty. However, this should not lead you to commit anything Islamically prohibited. Thus, any act that results in reforming your heart, time and standing with Allah The Almighty, should not be an object of sacrifice. If you favor others at the expense of such acts, you are actually ignorantly favoring Satan over Him. 


The second degree is to give preference to the pleasure of Allah The Almighty over the satisfaction of people, even if its repercussions are so severe that one’s body and faculties cannot afford them. This act entails that one wants and does whatever pleases Him, although it may result in the anger of His creatures. This is the degree of the Prophets of Allah, whereas the Messengers were at a higher level, and the resolute Messengers, may Allah exalt their mention, even more esteemed. 


However, the Prophet  occupies the highest level of all, as he resisted the whole world, devoted himself to calling others to Allah The Almighty, bore the animosity of both relatives and strangers for His sake and favored His pleasure over anyone else’s, in all aspects, fearing the criticism of no one. His intention, concern and endeavors were all dedicated to satisfying Allah The Almighty, conveying His message, rendering His Words the uppermost and fighting His enemies until His religion became superior over all others, its argument established against the worlds and His favor perfectly bestowed on the believers. The Prophet  conveyed the message, delivered the trust, advised the Ummah, strove ardently in the way of Allah The Almighty and worshipped Him until he passed away. Therefore, no one attained as exalted a degree of altruism as the Prophet . 


As for a person who favors people’s approval over that of Allah The Almighty, it is His unchangeable tradition that He makes their satisfaction impossible to achieve and he or she is forsaken by them, with only him/herself to blame. Indeed, someone whose praise is sought will eventually vilify and the one whose satisfaction is desired, will become displeased. Accordingly, the person who seeks the approval or delight of others will neither achieve his or her goal, nor attain the reward of the pleasure of the Lord; and this is the weakest and most foolish person.” 


Ash-Shaafi‘i  said, “Satisfying people is an unattainable goal. Therefore, adhere to what makes you righteous; and that is possible only if we favor the satisfaction of the Lord over that of others.” Some Arabic verses of poetry speak about this, such as those that read: 


I wish that my bond with You [O Allah] remains sweet 


Even if life becomes bitter; 


I wish that You are pleased [with me], 


Even if all people are disgruntled; 


I wish that what is between me and You is good, 


Even if my relations with people are not. 


If You love me, every problem will seem easy 


And everything on earth will amount to nothing. 


The third degree of altruism is to attribute this quality to Allah The Almighty and not one’s own self, and to admit that these self-sacrificing acts are by His Command, thereby submitting them to Him. Consequently, if we do favor others over our own self, it means that it is Allah The Almighty Who did so in reality, for He is the actual Giver.  


Memorable acts of self-sacrifice 


History has brightly recorded many immortal examples of Muslims attaining the exalted degree and the paramount quality of altruism. 


Once, a woman came to the best of creation, the last Prophet and the leader of Messengers, , and presented a garment to him, saying: “O Messenger of Allah, this is [a gift] for you.” The Prophet, , accepted it and wore it as he was in need of it; then, one of the Companions saw him wearing it, and said to him, “What a beautiful garment! Give it to me!” The Prophet, , indicated his willingness to do that; then, when he had left, the other Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, reproached the man, saying, “You did not do a good thing when you asked the Prophet  to hand it to you while you see that he is short of [clothes]; and you know that he never declines to give anything if asked.” He explained, “I sought the blessing of the garment as the Prophet  had worn it; and I wished I could be shrouded in it.” 


We see similar acts of favoring others even in the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, and those that succeeded them . Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates: “A man came to the Prophet  who sent [for some food for him] to his wives, but they replied: ‘We have nothing except water.’ So, he  asked, ‘Who will receive this man as a guest?’ A man from the Ansaar [supporters in Madeenah] said, ‘I will.’ He then took the man [home] to his wife and said to her, ‘Host the guest of the Messenger of Allah  hospitably.’ She replied, ‘We have nothing except the food of my children.’ He instructed, ‘Prepare your food, light your lamp and put your kids to sleep, if they ask for supper.’ Therefore, she prepared her food, lit her lantern and made her children lie down; she then stood up, pretending to fix her lamp, when, in reality, she turned it off. Then, both husband and wife, pretended to eat before their guest [so as not to let him know of their dilemma], but actually went to bed hungry. In the morning, when the Ansaar man went to the Messenger of Allah  he said, ‘Tonight, Allah laughed [or wondered] at your action.’ Then Allah The Almighty revealed the verse (what means): {But [they] favor [others] over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful.} [Quran 59: 9] 


Likewise, another of the Ansaar offered to relinquish half of his property to an emigrant who was paired up with him through the bonds of brotherhood; he even gave him, may Allah be pleased with them both, the option to marry one of his wives, who he would divorce for him. However, the Muhaajir (emigrant from Makkah) refused, praying, “May Allah bless for you your wives and possessions.” In yet another paradigm of altruism, Abu Talhah Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with him, who was the richest of the Ansaar, had a favorite land, a garden called Bayruhaa’. When he heard a verse in which Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allah] from that which you love} [Quran 3:92], he went to the Prophet, , and donated it as charity for His sake. 


Another Companion, Qays ibn Sa‘d ibn ‘Ubaadah, may Allah be pleased with him, once fell ill; when he did not receive any visitors, he asked after them and was informed, “They are ashamed to visit you because of the debt they owe you.” He remarked, “May Allah debase money that prevents brothers from paying visits.” Then, he ordered someone to announce: “Whoever is indebted to Qays, is relieved of repayment.” That night, his threshold broke, due to the large number of people who came to see him. 


But, perhaps the exemplars of self-sacrifice among our predecessors, are the three who favored the other’s lives over their own. Huthayfah Al-‘Adawi  relates, “I went looking for my cousin on the battlefield during the war of Al-Yarmook. I had some water and mentally noted, ‘If he still has any breath, I will give him some water to drink and will wipe his face with it.’ I found him and asked, ‘Should I give you water to drink?’ He made an affirmative gesture; but then we heard someone gasp, so he signaled to me to take the water to that man, who was Hishaam ibn Al-‘Aas. When I asked him if I should give him water to drink, he replied positively, but we heard another man cry out, “Ah!” Therefore, Hishaam made a sign to me, telling me to go to that man. When I went to him, I found that he had already expired. When I returned to Hishaam, I discovered he, too, had passed away; and when I returned to my cousin, I saw that he had died as well, may Allah have mercy on all of them!” 


Benefits of altruism 


If there is no advantage of altruism other than the fact that it demonstrates the perfection and strength of one’s faith, and noble manners, that would be a good enough reason to practice it. In fact, favoring others over oneself is also a way to the love of Allah The Almighty, intimacy among people, incurring blessings and protection against stinginess


Verses f the Noble Quran and various Hadeeth of the Prophet  call strongly for the upholding of kinship ties and encourage this by offering worldly and religious rewards.

There is no doubt that a society whose members maintain family relations and treat each other mercifully forms an invincible fort and a fortified castle. It produces close-knit families and a solid social structure that provides the world with leaders, instructors, thinkers, teachers, callers and reformers, who carry the torch of guidance to their nation and to all of humanity.

This article focuses on upholding good relations with kindred, which is among the greatest and noblest morals.

Definition: Kinship ties refer to a person’s bond with his paternal and maternal relatives; and, maintaining them implies being good and kind to one’s relations in both words and deeds. This includes visiting them, asking after them, supporting the needy among them and helping them with their affairs. There are many virtues of upholding kinship ties, as doing so is:

1- A sign of faith: Abu Hurayrah  narrated that the Prophet  said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be hospitable to his guest; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain his kinship ties; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak well or remain silent.” [Al-Bukhari] In this Hadeeth, the Prophet  referred to three things that make people cooperate with each other and love one another: extending a warm welcome to visitors, preserving the ties of kindred and using kind words. In fact, he  established a connection between these qualities and faith, in effect, saying that anyone who believes in Allah, The Almighty, and the Last Day does not sever his kinship ties; because maintaining kinship ties is a sign of faith.

2- A cause for increased blessings in one’s provisions and age: All people want to have a luxurious and prolonged life, because the desire for possessions and life are two basic instincts in every human being. Therefore, whoever wants to achieve this should have good relations with his or her family, as Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet  said: “Whoever loves to be granted ample provisions and a long life, should maintain good ties with his or her relatives.” [Al-Bukhari]. In a different wording, ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet  added that if such a man also “desires to be protected against an evil end [of life], let him fear Allah The Almighty and maintain good ties with his relatives.” [Al-Bazzaar and Al-Haakim]

3- A reason for Allah, The Almighty, to also maintain ties with a servant and honor him or her: ‘Aa’ishah  related that the Prophet  said: “The womb [i.e., ties of kinship] is suspended from the throne [of Allah The Almighty], saying: Whoever preserves me, Allah will uphold ties with him [or her] and he who severs me, Allah will sever the bond with him.” [Muslim] Allah, The Almighty, positively responds to this plea, thereby treating with kindness, those who keep good relations with family and cutting off those who do not. And, certainly, it would be horrible for a weak, helpless slave if Allah, The Almighty, severed ties with him.

4- A factor that enables one to be admitted to Paradise: The Prophet  said: “O people exchange greetings (i.e., say: ‘As-salaamu ‘Alaykum’ (peace be on you) to one another), feed people, maintain kinship ties and pray at night when others are asleep, so that you may enter Paradise in peace.” [Ahmad, At-Tirmithi and ibn Maajah]

Maintaining ties of kinship does not mean visiting, helping or serving one’s relatives in return for similar deeds on their part. True upholding of family relations is to do so with those kith and kin who sever their bond with us. Thus, it refers to visiting relatives who do not visit us, and being good to those who wrong us. ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates that the Prophet  said: “A man who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not he who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who is on agreeable terms with those kin who have severed [their] bond with him.” [Al-Bukhari]

In another Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  it was mentioned that a man came to the Prophet  and said: “I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off, and I treat them kindly, but they deal badly with me. I am gentle with them, but they are harsh to me.'' Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah  replied: "If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes; you will have a supporter from Allah against them, as long as you continue to act the way you are.” [Muslim]

Imaam An-Nawawi  said: "Hot ashes are used as a metaphor to demonstrate that such relatives bear as much guilt as the pain and agony experienced by the person who eats these ashes. As for the one who treats such relatives kindly, there is no argument against him; rather, they are the ones who commit a grievous sin by mistreating and harming him.”


Moreover, this Hadeeth is a consolation for the many who are afflicted with rude relatives; in their repayment of evil with good and the former’s meeting their wickedness with goodness, it is evident that it is only the latter who are the real losers.