Social media is a constant in our daily lives that impacts our perception of ourselves. Our perception is our reality, even if that reality is skewed and incorrect, it feels real to us.
Social media gives us an unrealistic, glorified glimpse into the lives of others. When we compare ourselves socially, professionally and spiritually to these online personas, we run the risk of developing lowered self-esteem and less gratitude for our blessings.
Self-esteem is essentially a person’s evaluation of their own self-worth. Just as a teacher may give a grade of A or D, we grade ourselves. If we have low self-worth we are more likely to be guarded with social connections and shy away from opportunities that could help boost positive emotions. Self-esteem is a grade that impacts our attitude towards ourselves.
We want a balance with self-esteem, not too high and not too low. Healthy self-esteem is not arrogant or boastful. As Muslims, we must remember that our worth is measured on a higher scale, one of righteousness and faith.
“And the weighing [of deeds] that Day will be the truth. So those whose scales are heavy – it is they who will be the successful” [Quran 7:8]
Social Comparisons Impacting Self-Esteem
We often use comparisons to evaluate ourselves. In our youth we look to role models for examples of what is good and bad, and for establishing standards. Often our timelines are full of people traveling, buying expensive cars or taking selfies with the Kaaba in the background. These comparisons and models are distorted, we are seeing the highlight reel of someone’s life, their idealized online reality. We are not seeing their mistakes or what they look like without filters.
Social media has become a source for social comparisons equipped with a system that lets us know if our friends love, like, hate or feel sad about us. Using this as our comparison is unrealistic.
Self-awareness
Honest analysis of ourselves empowers us with a good understanding of our thoughts, beliefs, weaknesses, skills and how we use all of this to interact with our environment. To strive for personal growth, we must be able to accurately self-analyze. Low self-esteem goes directly against accurate awareness of self.
Some even compare themselves to their own online personas. They created an unrealistic portrayal of themselves online so when time comes to meet someone, they feel anxiety as if they cannot live up to their own self.
Low Self-Esteem and Ungratefulness
If we combine lowered self-esteem with ungratefulness we have someone who feels like they are failing at life. They don’t recognize their blessings and become overly focused on negativity. It could lead to anxiety and/or depressive behavioral health concerns that can become dangerous or even deadly.
Gratitude to Boost Self-Esteem
Being grateful is a spiritual and emotional benefit that enhances our mood, allows us to take account of our blessings as well as enables us to see hardships as lessons. We are shown in Quran and Hadith to be grateful for our blessings.
“’If you are grateful, I will surely increase you” [Quran 14:7]
Instead of looking at social media as a spectacle of those above us in success and prosperity, we need to be mindful of our own blessings. Islam promotes qualities like gratitude, mercy and charitable acts. If we consciously encourage ourselves to look to those in greater struggles than our own, we will be promoting a grateful perspective which can increase our self-worth inshallah.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not consider as less the blessing of Allah.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]
Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reality
I say this constantly and it holds true. You can think of our perspective like a pair of glasses. My glasses optimize my vision clarity and depth, yet I put on someone else’s glasses it could create the opposite effect and I fall down the stairs. If we consciously try to alter which pair of glasses we put on today, we are altering how we view and interact with our environment, this includes social media.
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” [Quran 13:11]
While scrolling through our feeds we can remember it Is from Allah (swt) when one is given a blessing such as the ability to travel or a new marriage. Instead of feeling like we must compare to it, we can make duaa for their continued success and say alhamdulillah for the blessings we have.
“None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” [al-Bukhari]
Closing Thought
Social media can be beneficial and positive as well as a source of Islamic discussion. This is if we use it in moderation, ethically and have a positive faith-based perspective when interacting. Healthy self-esteem and gratefulness are part of having a good quality of life and happy disposition.
5 Things to Remember When Using Social Media
Everyone is using social media and it’s easy to see why. We’re connecting with family, friends and like-minded people from all over the world. News stories are instantaneous. Businesses are growing their brands. It’s a modern day marvel.
On the flip side, we are all aware of the downfalls of online interaction. As new Muslims, what do we need to be aware of when using social media?
1. Angels on Our Shoulder
This should be a Muslim’s first thought as they log in to their account in social media. The pages you choose to view, the comments you decide to post, the angels on your shoulders are recording it.
People tend to behave differently when online, they type comments that they wouldn’t consider uttering out loud, reasoning that virtual reality isn’t ‘real life’. But it is! And we are still accountable.
Man does not utter any word except that with him is an observer prepared. (Quran 50:18)
So, when you get into a disagreement with a faceless name on a Facebook forum make sure that you interact with respect and kindness. Always bear in mind the hadith:
Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else keep silent… (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Not only are the angels taking note, but so too is everyone else who reads what you write. You are representing Islam, and people are learning about Islam from you, so make sure you’re a good ambassador.
2. Maintaining a Good Islamic Image in Social Media
Whether we realize or not, whether we like it or not, we are being judged. Most non-Muslims do not go to the Quran or Hadith to learn about Islam, they watch our behavior.
If you are posting about your new lifestyle, commenting on current affairs, and everyone clearly knows that you are a Muslim, then many will believe that your words and actions represent your faith.
If you are open about your new faith then you need to act in a way that does Islam justice.
You may encounter Muslims arguing with each other over age-old matters that will never be resolved. However, they ridicule and mock other people using harsh words. This not only leaves a terrible impression but Allah describes it as evil! Don’t get involved.
O believers! Do not let some men ridicule others, they may be better than them, nor let some women ridicule other women, they may be better than them. Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith! And whoever does not repent, it is they who are the true wrongdoers. (Quran 49:11)
We need to behave in a way that is pleasing to Allah and that shows how Islam beautifies our character and manners.
3. New Sisters – Be Wary of Your Inbox
This piece of advice is sad but true. There are men who deliberately seek out new sisters in the West for marriage. Only Allah knows everyone’s intention but we urge sisters to err on the side of caution.
There are many sisters who would be delighted to help you grow in your faith, so please accept their offers of support. If a brother offers to speak to you in private, we advise you to politely decline. Any brother who is sincere in his faith knows that it’s not appropriate.
Stories of sisters who are scammed for money or a passport are sadly too common and we hate to see it happen. In any case, getting married very quickly after you convert to someone you barely know is not a good idea.
4. Don’t Feel Pressured
Social media is now the first port of call for anyone interested in Islam or new Muslims hoping to connect with like-minded people. There are so many pages and groups to choose from that it is easy to find yourself being bombarded by a lot of conflicting information.
You will come across people who tell you that you have to wear hijab/grow a beard immediately, that you can’t spend time with your family for birthdays or Christmas, that you need to distance yourself from your non-Muslim friends because they’re a bad influence, the list goes on.
So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. (Quran 3:159)
Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was not harsh, pushy or rude. He didn’t make things hard for the new Muslims, he was gentle, kind and understanding.
Don’t expect to transform overnight. We always say, Islam was revealed over the course of 23 years so ease yourself into the faith, slow and steady wins the race.
If you are brand new to Islam, you need to learn to make wudu and pray. These are your top priorities.
5. Be Wary of Information Overload
This one is very close to my own heart. When I was a new Muslim, I remember being absolutely overwhelmed with all the terminology and Arabic words. I really questioned if it was possible to comfortably follow Islam when there was so much to learn and take on board.
Converting to Islam certainly requires some effort but it doesn’t require stress and anxiety. We ask Allah to help us learn and we do our best, nothing more is required.
I remember, on an online forum, seeing other converts discuss how many chapters of the Quran they had memorized and it left me feeling seriously demoralized. Don’t become influenced by such people, we are all learning at our own rate and it isn’t a competition.
My last piece of advice would be to, certainly, explore Islamic pages on social media but then narrow it down to only a few and stick with that. This is to avoid becoming overloaded with different opinions and information. Choose groups and pages of social media that are friendly, well moderated and feature mainstream, well-known speakers.
May Allah make your experience of the virtual ummah a positive one!
7 Ways to Mitigate Your Anxiety from Social Media
It’s pretty easy to feel anxiety from social media these days. For anyone with a smartphone, information overload seems to have become the default setting.
Apps and websites are competing for your time, attention, and dopamine (the neurotransmitter responsible for making your brain anticipate a potential reward). “Get addicted to us!” They scream. We’re flashy and pretty, and if you scroll through us, maybe you can be flashy and pretty, too! Emphasis on the maybe — by pandering to our insecurities, desires, and curiosity, we’ll never feel like we’re enough or have enough.
Furthermore, the curated realities we portray on social media (I am guilty of this, too) are merely a form of self-marketing. We pick and choose what we want to show the world, so nothing is 100% accurate. So, how do we keep our addiction to it in check so it enhances – rather than harms – our psyche?
1. Streamline your timeline
Hit the “Unfollow” button for any person, group, or organization that leaves you feeling more anxious than fulfilled after you see their posts. Full disclosure: I actively follow groups like the ACLU and Southern Poverty Law Center and their posts these days really fill me with dread and fear for the future. I try to find ways to channel these feelings toward a healthy outlet, such as donating to worthy causes and talking it out with loved ones.
2. By the same token, hit “Follow” for people and posts that are uplifting and inspiring
You know best what your values and beliefs are, so if someone aligns with them, go ahead and follow them! Just remember to put a time limit on your scrolling.
3. Know that the “sparkly” pictures only tell half the story
While Pinterest and Instagram stories are fun and enticing to look at (for hours!), know that these posts have taken hours, sometimes days, to put together. There’s no need to feel envious because you know the people in the pictures are dealing with the same daily drudges – diapers, messy spills, mean bosses, or angry clients – as the rest of us.
4. Set time limits
“But the organizing tips are really useful!” If unfollowing isn’t an option, train yourself to stick to designated “social media times” throughout the day, such as a nightly Facebook check. I know it’s SO hard to resist checking your updates if you’re standing in line or at the doctor’s office, but the rewards far outweigh the drawbacks.
By spending less time on social media, you’re not as invested in every update, and you’ll free up time to do… anything! Talking face to face with your friends, kids, husband, or mailman! Watching birds fly! Reading that book that’s catching dust on your shelf! Learning to knit!
5. Anytime you reach for your phone, stop and think “What am I checking my phone for?”
Unless it needs to be done at that moment, wait until your nightly Facebook check.
6. Remind yourself of what you can be doing instead
Paul Bonea writes about setting time limits to be more productive, and the same can be applied to mitigating anxiety from social media, as well. For each extra minute you spend online, think about what you’re missing out on, instead.
7. Get curious about your social media addiction
This TED Talk breaks down the powerful cycles we train our brains to go through for feeding our various addiction. He uses smoking as an example, but the same can be applied to scrolling through our phones and social media constantly. If you break the pattern by becoming mindful and curious about why you want to check your updates, you’re overcoming half the battle right there.
Social media isn’t inherently bad and can even be a remarkably powerful tool. Facebook’s original mission of “making the world more open and connected” has been carried out pretty effectively. Social media has sparked massive movements for social change, March for Our Lives, Women’s March, and over $20 million raised for reuniting separated migrant children from their families last month!
However, if left unchecked, our addiction to social media can become dangerous. If you can make an extra effort to be mindful of how you use it and when, it’ll help decrease your anxiety and FOMO by a long shot.
Social Network for Islamic Values & Charity Launched
A new social media platform named, Labayk, that describes itself as a “network of moral Islamic values and a respectful online environment” has been launched to encourage users to donate to charitable causes, The Jakarta Post reported.
Labayk which means ‘at your service’ in Arabic was developed by a Muslim investment banker called Tanweer Khan who said: “I created the platform to cater to both Muslim and non-Muslim users, though it expects all users to abide by the moral values of Islam”.
“Over time, I was becoming increasingly frustrated at the way social media networks have become vehicles for abuse, trolling and bullying. Social media platforms are constantly being called out over their response to this, and it’s becoming harder and harder to control,” Khan expressed.
Like other social networks, Labayk allows users to create a profile, update their status, make connections and send messages. Its mobile app is currently available for download on iPhone devices.
“Social media networks have the power to do good and make the world a better place for everyone, both online and offline. However, the culture on most of these networks is driven by profits, allowing bots to shape people’s decisions and opinions,” he continued.
“I wanted to create a platform where people can connect and effectively communicate with others, with similar values, in a safe and non-threatening environment,” Khan added.
The Muslim developer informed that “users who upload content deemed inappropriate or fake news can be immediately removed from the platform.”
“This isn’t a Muslim-only platform, it’s open for everyone. However, Labayk shares and is built on true Islamic values of peace, respect, kindness, truth, and sincerity. And this is what I wanted the platform to be,” Khan explained.
“Hatred and aggressive advertising have been replaced with giving, charitable causes, great communication, and safety. And it’s free, and always will be,” he continued.
Islamic Shari`ah
Values and morals are componeners of the Islamic values which is derived from the religious precepts of Islam, particularly the Qur’an and the Hadith.
The traditional theory of Islamic jurisprudence recognizes four sources of sharia: the Qur’an, Sunnah (authentic hadith), qiyas (analogical reasoning), and ijma (juridical consensus).
Different legal schools—of which the most prominent are Hanafi, Maliki and Shafi’i —developed methodologies for deriving Shari’ah rulings from scriptural sources using a process known as ijtihad.
Traditional jurisprudence (fiqh) distinguishes two principal branches of law, ʿibādāt (rituals) and muʿamalat (social relations), which together comprise a wide range of topics. Shari’ah influences other aspects of private and public life.
Muamalat in Shari’ah aka transactions or dealings include Islamic rulings governing commercial transactions as well as civil acts and in general all aspects of fiqh that aren’t rituals.
The Shari’ah rulings are concerned with ethical standards as much as with legal norms, assigning actions to one of five categories: mandatory, recommended, neutral, abhorred, and prohibited.
