Becoming a Muslim made me a better white person
Laura El Alam
Like many white people in the United States, I spent much of my life surrounded by people who looked and acted a lot like me. I grew up in the suburbs and attended Catholic schools for twelve years, and the majority of my family members, classmates, and neighbors were white Christians whose lives and habits were very similar to my own.
Back then, if I had seen a woman walking down the street wearing a headscarf and long, loose clothing, I probably would have assumed that she was a foreigner. I hate to admit it now, but I likely would have made false assumptions about her lifestyle. Because of the media’s portrayal of Islam, I would have inferred that she was oppressed by her religion, that she was fundamentally different from me, and that she was not “liberated” like women in the West.
It’s interesting to note that for many years, I had been taught by Catholic nuns whose wardrobe — including a veil that covered their hair — was not so different from Muslim women’s attire. Not to mention the numerous statues and paintings of the Virgin Mary that depicted a woman in flowing robes and a headscarf. I had never thought that the nuns or Mary were oppressed, though. I understood their way of dressing to be a voluntary display of modesty and a firm commitment to God. We subconsciously interpret things based on our preconceived notions. It’s also worth pondering why, for Western women, wearing less clothing and revealing more of the body became synonymous with liberation.
It’s hard for me to admit how skewed my thinking used to be. Nowadays I spend a great deal of time as a journalist writing about how Americans should not stereotype or ostracize Muslims. However, coming clean about how the “old me” saw the world is crucial to my role. It reminds me that many of my fellow Americans feel negatively about Islam due to their lack of understanding of it and/or false narratives they’ve encountered. They’re not bad people — they are merely uninformed.
Despite the fact that our country is extremely diverse, many of us white folks haven’t grown up in multicultural environments. Our neighborhoods and schools are often homogenous bubbles, and we tend to spend time with people just like us. As a child, all of my family’s friends were white. While I did make a couple of black friends in high school, I realize now that they made every effort to respect and understand my white lifestyle, but I did very little to honor or learn about their unique identities. And, while I must have encountered Muslims at some point in my youth, I didn’t really get to know one until I was in my twenties. Until then, in my inexperienced mind, they — along with many others– were filed into a category called “Not Like Me.”
When I decided to embrace Islam at the age of 25, my life changed drastically. One of the most beautiful and transformative aspects was the immediate widening of my circle of influence. My new brothers and sisters in faith offered a wealth of diversity and much-needed fresh perspectives to my life. Integrating in the Muslim community provided me a crash course in multiculturalism that broadened my horizons and enriched my life. It also served as a mirror, showing me for the first time how I looked to the rest of the world. I started to realize the various forms of privilege I had experienced as a white woman in America. For instance, I had never been discriminated against because of my skin color. Upon meeting me, people had always assumed I was an American and a native English speaker. They generally treated me with respect and did not make negative assumptions about me or my beliefs. When I started wearing a headscarf, however, my experience changed. My nationality was questioned constantly, and I had to work hard to prove I was “normal” to a world which suddenly saw me as an outsider. As a visible Muslim, I quickly developed a lot more empathy for people who faced daily discrimination because of how they looked.
Although I’ve faced some challenges over the past 20 years, I wouldn’t change a thing. Becoming a Muslim has given me direction, purpose, and peace. It has made me a more enlightened white person who recognizes that I still have anti-racist work to do. I am extremely grateful for my Muslim friends’ willingness to share their cultures, homes, traditions, and ideas with me. As a new convert, I was welcomed by a uniquely supportive and warm group of people who hailed from all over the globe: Malaysia, Pakistan, Jordan, Sri Lanka, Morocco, Turkey, India, Mexico, and New Zealand — to name only a handful of their nationalities. While they came from different corners of the planet and all had unique personalities, customs, and viewpoints, they shared one faith and a common commitment to treating others with respect and kindness. They were my mentors and became my best friends.
I learned to appreciate the beauty that emanated from my sisters of all colors because their hearts and intentions were genuine and God-conscious. While racism and colorism sadly still fester in many Muslims’ minds due to cultural influences and the effects of colonization, Islam has a clear anti-racist stance. In his last sermon before his death, the Prophet Mohamad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action.”
Therefore, a true Muslim should disavow racism and treat fellow Muslims of any color as a brother or sister. These familial ties were a life jacket for me as I navigated the waters of change, and I became quite close to my new Muslim sisters. Spending time with them, I learned a great deal about Islam. I also got to sample exciting cuisines, savor the cadence of unfamiliar languages, and admire crafts, art, and clothing that were refreshingly different from what I’d always seen.
When you get to know people who were brought up in cultures different from your own, you have the opportunity to see life from other perspectives. You realize the way you and your family have always seen the world is not the only option, and it’s not necessarily the right one, either. You come to appreciate certain things that other cultures do differently: the way they show remarkably generous hospitality to guests, for instance, or the way they treat elders with respect, or the way they remove their shoes upon entering someone’s home. I eventually understood that the richness of Muslims’ diverse cultures is a true treasure, and the Muslims themselves are extremely valuable members of our communities.
Once I had gotten to know dozens of Muslims, I realized that they – whether immigrants or natural-born citizens – enhance this country in millions of ways. Among them are leaders, professionals, and friendly neighbors across the street. To have Muslims in our community is a blessing. To have them as friends and brothers and sisters in faith is truly magnificent. I will always feel indebted to them for enhancing my life and broadening my horizons.
If you’d like to broaden your own horizons, consider reaching out to your Muslim neighbor, friend, or colleague and asking them if they’re comfortable chatting about their faith with you. You can also call 877-WHY-ISLAM and speak with a friendly representative who can answer your questions.
The Deeper Meaning of Being Latino
Hernán Guadalupe
When I started college back in the fall of 1998, I had a passion and desire to learn more about my culture. I wanted to know more about my Latino heritage, its splendor, and its history. So, like any other curious student, I began to do an abundant amount of research to fully understand the meaning of being Latino.
If we were to look into any classical dictionary, the word Latino is defined as: A native or inhabitant of Latin America, or a person of Latin-American origin living in the U.S., or a Hispanic person or Latin-American belonging to one of these same countries.
However, these definitions do not give a detailed analysis of the Latino experience and life. So what does it really mean to be a Latino? Who are the influential people, groups, and tribes that have structured this culture? I had no real answers to these questions.
In my research, I began to read and learn about ancient civilizations such as the Inca, Taino, Arawak, Carib, Mayan, Aztec, and Muisca. Then I focused on the colonization of the Americas by the Europeans, predominantly the Spaniards and Portuguese who made an impact in Latin America. I also explored the African culture and read about the massive slave trade and its impact on our societies. The more I researched, the longer the definition of Latino became. Little by little, I began to piece together this puzzle of information. I concluded that this word Latino is comprised of various cultural influences, a melting pot of civilizations, Indigenous, European, and African. Once I came to this conclusion, I felt comfortable, satisfied, and proud of the understanding I had obtained about being my identity.
That was as far as I thought it went, but I came to realize that I was highly mistaken. There was an unsung hero that had left a significant impression on the Latino culture. One that, although has been kept hidden away somehow, cannot be denied. This single factor not only encompassed the historical structure of the Spanish who came to colonize what we know today as Latin America, and of the African continent from which many of our ancestors came, but the world as we know it today.
This was Islam.
I did not come to find out about this major influence until after I embraced Islam and became a Muslim, in the year 2001. Alhamdulillah (All thanks and praises be to Allah), it was at this point in time that I truly began to understand who I was as a Latino, who I was as a Muslim, and the common bond between the two. I had rediscovered my roots.
I later began to encourage others, beginning with my family, to embark on the same journey, to genuinely go back and find out who we are as Latinos and to uncover the hidden facts that lie beneath the surface. These things that are so clear, yet we fail to see.
It is incumbent upon us to know that Islam played a role on the development of our traditions and culture, whether those come from our indigenous, African, or Spanish heritages. This knowledge will fill us with a greater sense of gratitude for our Creator, who has brought us back to light after we had been in darkness, and Who has saved us by guiding us back to Islam. Being Latino is acknowledging a connection with Islam, but embracing Islam is reconnecting with our true purpose: To worship Allah Alone.
The Importance of a Mentor for New Converts
Laura El Alam
When we are new to Islam, there is a great deal for us to learn about our faith. It can seem overwhelming, at first, to grasp everything Islam requires of us. The five daily prayers — including the specific movements we must make and the words we recite in Arabic — take quite a bit of practice to master. Additionally, we converts often have numerous questions about our new Islamic lifestyle, including dress code, diet, interaction with others, spiritual obligations, and more.
While a great deal of information can be found in books, articles, and tutorials, the most pleasant and efficient way to learn how to practice Islam is with a patient and willing mentor. But how does a new Muslim find a mentor, and what characteristics should that person ideally have?
Where to start
Contact your local mosque. The best place to begin your search for a mentor is at your nearest mosque or Islamic Center. Many have a system in place for new converts, including classes, workshops, and a volunteer network of mentors. While some mosques don’t have those resources, they still might be able to help. Find someone in a leadership position (like an imam, a board member, an active volunteer, or a teacher/lecturer) and ask if they can help you find a mentor to help you learn the basics of Islam.
Contact WhyIslam. At this link, you can request to be connected with an experienced and willing Muslim brother or sister in your area.
What should you look for in a mentor?
Someone of the same gender. Female converts should have a woman for a mentor, and males should have a man. The reasons for this are twofold: 1. Relationships between men and women are always navigated carefully in Islam so that respect, propriety, and modesty are their defining characteristics. A mentor/mentee dynamic between the sexes can easily veer off into an inappropriate direction. 2. There are Islamic rules, rights, and obligations that are particular to each gender. Many Muslims are unaware of the rulings that apply specifically to the opposite sex, cannot relate to their situation, and therefore are unable to answer many important questions.
Someone who is patient and eager to help. In my experience, these qualities are even more important than sheer knowledge of Islam. A person can be scholarly but not an effective guide, and vice versa. It is easy to look up information online, so the point of having a mentor is to form a beneficial bond of sisterhood or brotherhood with that person. The ideal adviser will be someone who enjoys teaching new Muslims and combines knowledge with a kind and gentle approach.
Someone who understands and respects the convert’s experience. Some people might think the only qualified mentor is the person who was born into a Muslim family and has practiced Islam all their life. However, this is not necessarily the case. Converts can make excellent mentors, especially since they fully understand the drastic life changes involved in conversion and the potential challenges involved. Individuals’ adherence to Islam, understanding of its core message, and positive attitude matter much more than their total years of living as a Muslim.
Someone with excellent character. The ideal mentor will be a walking example of Islam. Even though no one is infallible and none of us practices Islam perfectly, a sincere Muslim will be identifiable by their overall honesty, kindness, patience, and humility. True believers do their best to uphold Islam’s requirements such as the five daily prayers, modesty in dress and behavior, trustworthiness, integrity, and moderation. Good mentors, while fallible, will be engaged in a constant quest for self-improvement for the sake of Allah. If you see a Muslim constantly gossiping, backbiting, expressing racist or bigoted views, purposely ignoring basic Islamic guidelines, or acting in a dishonest manner, then they are not ready to be a mentor.
Someone who has no ulterior motive. A good mentor will desire nothing more than converts’ peace and success with their Islamic journey. He or she will be a patient and understanding advocate who provides spiritual support and practical advice. A mentor should be a friend and guide, but not a potential spouse or a prospective in-law who is grooming a new convert for a possible marriage.
If you are a new Muslim who wishes to connect with a mentor, I urge you to be courageous enough to ask for help. Think of it this way: you are giving someone a wonderful opportunity to share their knowledge and strengthen their own faith. I urge you to persevere until you find the right guide for you and remember to ask Allah SWT to facilitate your search.
On the other hand, if you are a Muslim with a firm foundation in your faith and a patient, positive attitude, then please consider volunteering as a mentor at your local mosque. Allah promises a great reward for those who help facilitate others’ journey to Islam.
Six Ways to Support the New Convert in Your Life
If someone close to you has recently embraced Islam, you might wish to support them in their new lifestyle, but have no idea where to begin. While your loved one will retain most of their fundamental traits like their quirky sense of humor, or their thoughtful, quiet nature, or their spunky attitude, they will also form some new habits and transform themselves in ways both noticeable and subtle. It is important to recognize that these changes often take self-discipline, courage, and time; they don’t happen overnight or without sacrifice. Acknowledging their challenges, motivations, and goals are a great first step towards supporting them. If you want to offer maximum help to the person you love who has chosen Islam, here are some more tips:
1. Listen to them, effectively.
Effective listening requires more effort and thought than many of us are used to exerting in day-to-day conversations, but it is a wonderful technique for truly supporting others. This kind of listening requires us not to interrupt the speaker with our own anecdotes, opinions, or solutions. It requires empathy and patience and puts the focus on the person who is speaking. Taking the time to truly hear what a new convert has to say will be an invaluable gift to them. This article offers excellent tips on effective listening.
Personally, when I converted to Islam 20 years ago, I found it extremely stressful to explain and defend my choice to some friends and family members who were disapproving, judgmental, and presumptuous. The few people who actually listened to my rationale and made the effort to consider my point of view were refreshing and essential to my wellbeing.
2. Make whatever accommodations you can.
In accordance with their faith, Muslims avoid certain things that may be commonplace in some non-Muslim cultures. For instance, Islamic rules prohibit the consumption of alcohol, recreational drugs, and pork. If you are going to invite a Muslim to your home, it is extremely thoughtful to avoid serving any alcoholic beverages or pork products. This article offers more information on Muslims’ dietary guidelines. An easy solution is to serve fish or vegetarian dishes, which Muslims are allowed to eat without question. If you are unsure of their needs or restrictions, it’s always fine to ask! They will probably be grateful for the questions and the fact that you care enough to try to accommodate their needs. In addition, Muslims perform ritual prayers five times a day at designated times. To make ablution (a ritual cleansing called wu’du in Arabic) they will need access to a sink. For prayer they will simply need a small, clean area and a few minutes of privacy and focus. Allowing a Muslim time and space to worship in your home is a wonderful gift. If you feel any hesitation about this, it might help to remember that Christians, Jews, and Muslims often share prayer spaces harmoniously and protect each other’s right to worship.
Additionally, your accepting attitude will mean a great deal to converts who are starting to dress modestly in accordance with Islamic principles. This might be most noticeable in women who start covering their hair with a headscarf (also called khimar or hijab) and wearing loose clothing that covers their body. However, Muslim men must also dress and act with modesty as their defining characteristic, and you will likely notice changes in their clothing and behavior, too. Although the Islamic dress code might challenge your ideas of what is normal or appropriate, your open mindedness and supportive attitude will help you maintain a positive relationship with the convert who is, after all, just striving to please their Creator.
3. Do your own research.
While it is fine to ask a convert questions, keep in mind that they are new to the faith and don’t have all the answers. You can save them precious time and energy by looking for some of the answers on your own. Consider reading reputable books, visiting a local mosque, or talking with knowledgeable Muslims in your community. There are also innumerable resources available online. The WhyIslam website has a great deal of information, as do these sites: www.muslimmatters.org, www.aboutislam.net, and www.islamicity.org.
4. Keep an open mind.
Most of us are biased towards the culture, faith, and traditions of our upbringing. It is only natural to feel instinctively that the way of life we’re most familiar with is the right way to live. When we think about it objectively, though, we will realize that there are billions of people on earth with a variety of traditions, languages, religions, and practices. What seems strange to us is normal to them, and vice versa. Your new Muslim friend might start doing things that are unfamiliar or in opposition to their native culture. Just because some of their practices are different doesn’t mean they’re wrong or inferior. If you find yourself judging or feeling superior, check and make sure this does not stem from a place of bias.
In my own family, some relatives told me they felt I was “less American” when I started wearing a headscarf and celebrating Muslim holidays. I reminded them that Muslims have been part of the fabric of this country since at least the 17th century, and that Americans come in a variety of faiths, colors, traditions, and lifestyles. There is no one way to be American, and in fact our country is better because of its diversity.
5. Ask questions with tact.
You might want to know why your female Muslim friend has started wearing a headscarf, or why your male Muslim friend won’t date anymore. It’s fine to ask, but be polite and make sure your tone reveals that you are seeking information, not being condescending, judgmental, or accusatory.
6. Look for the positives.
You might feel disappointed that the new Muslim in your life has given up some things you used to do together. It’s normal to feel a little worried about the changes they’re undergoing and how that might affect your relationship (and if you do, here’s an article that addresses this). But if you choose to focus on the positives, you will undoubtedly see many good things that come from your loved one’s conversion. Chances are they have conquered some bad habits, improved their health, committed to high standards of morality, and become more self-disciplined. If you can see any of these examples of progress, celebrate them and make sure to congratulate the new Muslim.
If we truly love someone, we want them to be the best version of themselves. We can support the new Muslims in our life by encouraging their growth, attempting to understand their decisions, learning about their faith, and being thoughtful of their feelings and needs. Undoubtedly they will enhance our lives in return, by teaching us a new perspective and sharing exciting new facets of themselves.
Your family member became Muslim, Now What?
Laura El Alam
Is there a new convert to Islam in your life? If the conversion of friend or family member came as a surprise, you might find yourself feeling confused, concerned, or upset. Maybe you’ve never heard or read anything positive about Islam and find it hard to understand why anyone would choose that path. Perhaps you assumed your loved one would always adhere to the faith of their upbringing, and now you are worried about the fate of their soul. Maybe you’re afraid Islam will change them in some fundamental way, and you won’t even know them anymore. You might feel like they’re turning their back on their family or culture. Those feelings can be scary and upsetting and can keep you from having constructive conversations or a good relationship with the new Muslim in your life.
Before you rush to harmful conclusions or ruin your relationship with them, here are some suggestions:
Listen to their reasons for converting. Really listen, with an open mind and heart. Every single convert I know devoted a great deal of thought, research, and soul-searching to their decision. They chose Islam for the best of reasons: for a deep belief in One God, self-improvement, justice, or contributing to a better world. Try to put your preconceived notions aside and hear them out. You may be surprised at their reasons for converting, the fulfillment they find in Islam, and their plans for the future. You will also likely find that many of their core values and personality traits remain the same.
Recognize that you probably have many misconceptions about Islam. Chances are, the picture presented to you about Islam by the media has not been fair. There are some institutions and people that are downright Islamophobic and purposely propagate misinformation about the faith and its followers. Give yourself a chance to learn from your friend or family member. You deserve to know. You can also do this by talking with knowledgeable Muslims and reading trustworthy books and websites.
If the prospect of change scares you, try to look at the big picture. Does it bother you that the new Muslim in your life has altered some aspects of their behavior? Maybe they have given up some things that you consider fundamental to your culture like alcohol, pork, or dating. Possibly their new way of dress is unfamiliar and different, and this might bother you. If you find that certain aspects of the convert’s lifestyle are upsetting you, maybe you should reflect on why you are taking their changes personally. After all, they are not requiring you to follow their new rules. Can you acknowledge that their new choices might actually be better for them, their health, and their morality? Can you make room in your heart for someone who is different from you, knowing that their choices are not a condemnation of you or a threat to you? At the end of the day they remain the same person you love.
Pick your battles. If a few of their life changes really affect and upset you, look for a way to compromise that does not jeopardize their new faith. Communication and mutual respect will allow you to continue nurturing your relationship. Speak up – gently and tactfully – about any concerns you have and commit to finding a peaceful solution.
Remember their spiritual journey is theirs. Each of us must take ownership and responsibility of our own soul. No one else can do that for us. Religion is deeply personal, and we need to give our loved ones the space to make their own spiritual decisions.
Don’t take it personally if they choose to practice a faith that is different than yours, even if you raised them. They are not rejecting you. This is not an act of rebellion. Converting to Islam is a huge commitment that people don’t take lightly, as it requires many lifestyle changes, sacrifices, and a firm dedication to learning and growing. In fact, converts in countries where Islam is a misunderstood minority religion should be commended for their courage and determination, as they will face many obstacles. Resolve to respect and support your loved one’s spiritual path, even if it diverges from your own. If it helps you, look for commonalities between your faith and theirs. There are countless similarities between Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, for instance, and bridges can easily be built from our common values, traditions, and goals.
Prepare to see them shine. Know that Islam requires its adherents to be honest, kind, courteous, wholesome, and modest. A sincere Muslim is a good neighbor, a loyal family member, and a responsible citizen. If you give the new convert in your life a chance to settle into their new lifestyle, learn, grow, and develop confidence, you will see what kind of person they become. You will probably be pleasantly surprised. Many converts transform into better versions of themselves as they give up bad habits and embrace a wholesome lifestyle in accordance with Islam.
Would you rather have them in your life, or out of it? Your behavior will determine what happens next. Some families disown converts or shut them out completely, and then miss out on years of togetherness. Others make room in their hearts for them, even when change is challenging, and they reap the rewards of still having that person in their life. In addition, they often gain new friends, family members, and even a new worldview that they never considered before. Embracing the convert in your life can actually open doors you never imagined and truly enrich your life.
Essential Tips for New Muslims: Interacting with Non-Muslim Friends and Family
Laura El Alam
When I became a Muslim 20 years ago, it was one of the greatest transformations of my life. There was so much new information that it seemed completely overwhelming at first. Just learning how to pray, including making ablution (wu’du), familiarizing myself with the choreographed movements of standing, kneeling, and prostrating, and memorizing the chapters in Arabic was an enormous challenge. Add to that all the new guidelines for Islamic behavior including appropriate dress, interactions with the opposite gender, Islamic manners, and vocabulary. It was an enormous undertaking. Thank God for the fervor and sincerity of new Muslims that empower us to take on such a momentous task!
The metamorphosis from non-Muslim to Muslim often requires even more than those efforts, though. Many times new converts feel they need to explain their sudden life changes to family and friends and sometimes even to acquaintances or strangers. This can be emotionally exhausting at a time that is already fraught with challenges.
If you are new to Islam, these tips might help you anticipate what to expect from loved ones and give you some strategies to handle the transition.
1. Be prepared to accept that many of your family and friends will not react well to your conversion. This is to be expected, as change is scary to many people. Your loved ones might feel very unsettled if they see you undergoing a drastic transformation that doesn’t include them. Deep down they probably fear you are leaving them behind. They might worry that your relationship with them will never be the same again, or that you will change in a fundamental way that will keep them from ever truly knowing you or relating to you again. If they have a firm conviction in a different faith, they might fear you are taking the wrong path and worry about your salvation. While you might not be able to convince them that your choice is the right one, you can reassure them that you have made your choice freely, after much research, and with a deep faith in God (Allah) and His mercy.
2. Keep in mind that most non-Muslims don’t know much about Islam except for stereotypes they see in the media. Some may challenge, question, and debate with you. They probably lack even the most basic information about Islam and additionally might have misconceptions that will take time and experience to dispel.
3. Your own time and stamina are limited, though. Save your emotional energy for those who really matter to you and are closest to you. Your parents, siblings, and dearest friends will probably demand a lot of explanation and need a great deal of reassurance from you, and if you want to keep them in your life, you will probably need to invest some time in educating them about Islam and explaining your decision to convert. However, remember that your spiritual journey is a very private endeavor that involves your soul and your eternal fate, not theirs. No one has the right to dissuade you from following your convictions, or to try to pull you off a path you are convinced is correct. If they are pressuring you to give up Islam and disrespecting your boundaries, you probably need to take a break from them, for a while. At the same time, try to find a Muslim mentor or group of brothers or sisters in faith who can support you in your journey.
4. Do not allow the drama to overwhelm you. Transforming your lifestyle, practicing a new faith, and understanding a new worldview take up quite a lot of energy and time, so don’t waste much of your precious bandwidth on people who don’t really matter. If your co-worker, nosey neighbor, or random person at the grocery store wants to debate with you or question you in any way that is imposing or intrusive, remember that you do not owe them anything – no clarifications, apologies, or justifications.
I learned this the hard way after trying to “people please” for too long. We don’t owe strangers an explanation for the way we choose to live our lives, how or whom we worship, how we dress, or what we eat or don’t eat. So, leave as much drama behind as you can. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to.
5. Don’t feel like you have to be an expert on Islam, or non-Muslims’ only source of knowledge. If family and friends start questioning you about Islam – particularly about specific, nitpicky topics that you don’t even understand yet – don’t feel like you have to be a scholar and have all the answers at your fingertips. Nowadays there are wonderful books and online resources that address the most commonly-asked questions. You will probably want to research many topics for your own knowledge and growth, but you can also direct your loved ones to those same resources and websites, so they can do some reading on their own. If they truly care for you and desire to find answers, they can invest some effort.
6. That said, we should all make sure we consult reputable sources for our Islamic information. There are many Islamophobic websites that choose to paint our faith in a negative light. Some trustworthy sites are: www.whyislam.org, www.muslimmatters.org, www.aboutislam.net, and https://www.clearquran.com/. Most of these have searchable databases that make it easy to find information on particular topics. While online research is useful, finding a Muslim mentor — someone who is knowledgeable, patient, supportive, and possibly even trained to provide guidance to new converts — is probably the best way to learn and grow. Inquire if your local mosque has any recommendations of a mentor or even a class for new Muslims.
7. Remember that things generally get better over time. While my own family members and friends had various reactions to my conversion, one thing has proven consistent: time has softened their hearts. Some of my feminist friends were shocked and disapproving when I started wearing a headscarf. My entire Catholic family was concerned about my insistence on worshipping God but not Jesus. Some secular friends feared I was going to be overzealous and sanctimonious. However, the passage of time showed them the kind of person that Islam requires me (and all believers) to be: calmly self-confident, driven by convictions, a person of manners, honesty, and integrity, and a loyal daughter/friend/wife/sister. Who can argue with results like that? Almost all of my fractured relationships have been mended and even improved over the years, Alhamdullilah, and now most of my non-Muslim family and friends are amongst my strongest supporters.
8. Pray/make supplication (dua). No matter what people do or think, Allah is our greatest ally. We should turn to Him for help, for when He wants to protect us, nothing can harm us. And if He is pleased with us, nothing else really matters.
