Nobody Seems to Care About Me: Does Allah Love Me?
QHi. I am writing this to ask does Allah love me for trying as much as I can to do good or does he first compare my deeds and effort with another person. As of recent I have been very depressed nobody cares about me I live with my family but it seems nobody understands me I go to school I have no friends so now I ask does Allah care for me or is he like everybody else and judges by first comparing me with somebody else. Thank you.
ANSWER
Short Answer:
It is normal for teenagers to go through phases of emotional distress. They feel lonely, left out, and socially awkward. They are also consumed by tall hopes and dreams for their future.
What is important is that you do not get so despondent, that you start to think bad thoughts about Allah. Instead, focus on getting to know your Creator.
Find out the purpose of your life: why you were created?
Study the Quran, it should help you discover the path that you should take in life, ahead.
However, for the positive to come in, the negative must go out first. Thoughts such as “nobody cares about me“, and “nobody understands me” are negative thoughts. They are also not true.
I am sure that your family does love you.
Force yourself to think positive thoughts about Allah. And also about other human beings.
Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
I ask Allah to grant you high ranks of faith, brother. You have done well to reach out to our team to ask us this question. This is because every Muslim should be concerned about these important issues, namely:
Does Allah love him or her? Is Allah pleased with him or her? And what deeds must they do to garner Allah’s love? Does Allah see results, or our sincerity and efforts? And does He compare us to others?
It will be very beneficial if you could be clear about these concepts at this young age.
Who does Allah love?
How to get Allah’s love, should be the primary concern of every Muslim. In order to find out how to please Allah, we should ponder upon the Quran. I advise you to start reading the Quran to seek answers.
The Quran is a very clear guide about those beliefs and actions that lead to Allah’s pleasure. When a Muslim does good deeds, Allah loves them. And when they persist in sins without repenting, Allah gets angry at them.
Allah is closest to His creation. In the Quran, He says:
“Now, verily, it is We who have created man, and We know what his innermost self whispers within him: for We are closer to him than his neck-vein.” [50:16]
Therefore, this is the answer to your question. Yes, Allah does care for you. He is closer to you, your thoughts, and your feelings, than everyone else.
So please turn to Allah and seek His help. Pray to Him to make you feel at peace and content with His decree.
Despair and negative thoughts are from Satan
You are still very young. At this age, your identity is still forming, as is your personality. It is normal for teenagers to go through phases of emotional distress. They feel lonely, left out, and socially awkward. They are also consumed by tall hopes and dreams for their future.
What is important is that you do not get so despondent, that you start to think bad thoughts about Allah. Instead, focus on getting to know your Creator. Find out the purpose of your life: why you were created? The advice I gave you above, to study the Quran, should achieve this. It should help you discover the path that you should take in life, ahead.
However, for the positive to come in, the negative must go out first. Thoughts such as “nobody cares about me“, and “nobody understands me” are negative thoughts. They are also not true. I am sure that your family does love you. But they have ways of showing it. So repel all untrue, negative thoughts, with positive ones. Then force yourself to think positive thoughts about Allah. And also about other human beings.
Capitalize on your solitude and free time
Perhaps in this phase of life, you feel lonely due to lack of company. So you have time to yourself. Why not use this time and youthful energy to start working on yourself? In some positive way?
You could try new hobbies. Anything that you have wanted to start doing. Perhaps start working out every day? Physical exercise, even when done by one’s lonesome, is a very good anti-depressant.
The truth is: man was created for work. Allah says in the Quran:
“Verily, We have created man into [a life of] pain, toil and trial.” [90:4]
So be strong! Try to take up a one-man physical sport, which dispels your energy. Such as skateboarding, swimming, or rollerblading. Besides the study of the Quran, partaking in healthy, outdoor physical activity will invigorate you. You could also try projects involving robotics or craftsmanship. Building something, no matter how small, always gives one a sense of achievement.
Time will bring positive change, Allah willing
Adults should avoid making detrimental comparisons between youngsters. Unfortunately, in schools, students are often compared to each other via the grading system. This can have a bad impact on some students’ self-esteem. The students who get good grades receive honor, praise, and prizes. But those who cannot achieve good grades, are made to feel worthless.
I want you to know, my young brother, that, in Allah’s eyes, you are not worthless. You are unique and special. Allah created you a one-of-a-kind, so there is no one else like you.
He has certainly blessed you with talents that can let you shine. These talents are just latent right now i.e. as yet undiscovered. Why not work hard upon yourself, to discover your hidden strengths and skills? Let the naysayers say what they want! You just focus on connecting to Allah and striving hard for personal success.
Believe me, Allah sees and appreciates every small iota of good that you do:
“..and whatever work you [all, O men,] may do -[remember that] We are your witness..” [Quran 10:61]
And Allah knows best.
7 Reasons for the Closure of Hearts Toward the Quran
Dr. Ali Al-Halawani
16 June, 2020
Among the best acts of worship is to occupy oneself with the Quran, be it through reciting its verses or contemplating over their intended meanings.
In its capacity as the main source of Islam, the Quran encompasses all the rulings, regulations, illustrative parables, wisdom, admonitions, historical events, scientific and cosmic signs, that help believers lead their lives in accordance with the laws set by the Creator, Allah the Almighty.
📚 Read Also: 7 Tips to Improve Your Relationship With the Quran
So, the Quran leaves none of the matters of faith or the material world without proper and adequate explanation.
{And We have sent down to you the Book as clarification for all things and as guidance and mercy and good tidings for the Muslims} (An-Nahl 16:89)
Reasons for the closure of hearts toward reflecting on the Quran
1. Sinful acts of the heart
As they represent one of the most powerful shields against the Quran, sinful acts of the heart prevent it from being attended to or touched by the Quran. In the presence of such a shield, it becomes improbable to find any pleasure or satisfaction with the Quran.
Hudhaifah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:
“Temptations will be presented to men’s hearts as reed mat is woven stick-by-stick. Any heart gets impregnated by them will have a black mark put into it. Any heart rejects them will have a white mark put in it.
The result is that there will become two types of hearts: one white like a white stone which will not be harmed by any turmoil or temptation, so long as the heavens and the earth endure; and the other, black and dust-colored like a vessel which is upside down, not recognizing what is good or rejecting what is abominable, but being impregnated with passion.” (Muslim)
2. Sinful deeds of the body organs
7 Ways to Enrich Your Life with the Qur'an
Believers can experience deprivation in their ability to memorize the Quran because they harm others or fail to lower their gaze. Similarly, they can be deprived of contemplating over its verses because of sinful deeds.
Abdullah ibn Amr bin Al-As (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said,
“A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe; and a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who refrains from what Allah has forbidden.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7 Reasons for the Closure of Hearts Toward the Quran
Dr. Ali Al-Halawani
16 June, 2020
3. Abandoning the books of Tafsir (Explanation of Quran)
One who does not exert any effort to study the meanings of the Quranic verses and their historical context cannot reflect on the Quran properly and appropriately. Such a person will never be able to obtain the correct meaning of the verses or their sound interpretation.
{Then do they not reflect upon the Quran? If it had been from [any] other than Allah, they would have found within it much contradiction} (An-Nisa 4:82)
4. Thinking that the stories of the Quran do not concern us
Some people may think that the stories related in the Quran have nothing to do with us. Why should we concern ourselves with the generations of Prophets Musa, Esa, Hud (peace be upon them)? Why should we care about the ‘perished’ nations?
📚 Read Also: Learn How to Relate Al-Fatihah to Your Life
Principally, the Quran was sent down to us by Allah the Almighty for us to recite, contemplate over its content, and learn from the parables and stories it contains. Indeed, the Quran is not merely a historical record as some may think, rather, it is a guide for humankind toward the right path through the application of various tools. The Quranic story itself, is one of those tools.
{There was certainly in their stories a lesson for those of understanding. Never was the Quran a narration invented, but a confirmation of what was before it, and a detailed explanation of all things and guidance and mercy for a people who believe.} (Yusuf 12: 111)
5. Preoccupation with recitation only
What Quran Recitation Really Mean
What Does Quran Recitation Really Mean?
Oftentimes a believer may be busy with Quran recitation without any concern for understanding of the actual meaning.
A believer’s passion for reading the Quran should not lead to the abandonment of reflecting on its meanings and lessons. Thus, finishing the recitation of the whole Quran in less than three days is not recommended; it prevents one from contemplating over its verses.
6. Excessive love for this worldly life
We, all of us, love our children, wealth, ornaments, as well as the enjoyment of worldly life. However, this love should be moderate and balanced, and should not vie with the love for the Quran and spirituality.
{Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return} (Aal Imran 3:14)
7. Reading the Quran while one is inattentive
Among the signs that a believer is not benefiting from Quran recitation is reciting it with an inattentive heart. Similarly, the prayer carried out by a person with a heedless, absentminded heart won’t be accepted.
{So when the Quran is recited, then listen to it and pay attention that you may receive mercy.} (Al-Araf 7:204)
