My Depressed Son Lost Faith In Allah, Help!


22 June, 2020


QI have a son who is 20-year-old. He has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia and OCD. He used to do his prayers regularly around seven years ago. But he gradually left them after suffering from depression. Although he is on medication to treat his mental disorder, he has given up hope and faith in Allah, ever since he suffered a series of setbacks in life.

Almost on a daily basis, I do my best to revive in him the need to turn to our Creator as He alone can guide us through the many tests in this world.

However, despite my relentless efforts, he keeps asking me why Allah does not show him directly the benefits we gain whenever we go through some loss or suffering.


ANSWER

Hannah Morris


22 June, 2020


In this counseling answer:


•Your son is having a hard time comprehending wisdom that he cannot actually see right now.

•Encourage him to read the stories of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and the prophets before us who faced greater tests that any of us could expect to experience today.

•Even beyond taking a religious approach you can talk with him about any benefits that he might have experienced as a result of his condition.

•There is much evidence that can be drawn upon in our daily life that provides clear evidence of Allah’s existence and can renew one’s faith.

•It is important that you do not become disheartened with your seemingly fruitless efforts so far.

•Stay strong in faith and never give up your quest to assist your son and take your own advice in not giving up.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,


Mental and physical health problems are a test from Allah for both the person afflicted with them as well as the one who cares for them, usually the parents in cases like this.

Mental Illness Drives Me Away from My Faith


Mental Illness Drives Me Away from My Faith


Mental Illness


The child will suffer from the physical and/or mental health problems directly and the parent will suffer indirectly as a result of the psychological consequences of seeing someone they love dearly suffering in one way or another as well as having to care for the extra needs that someone with a physical or mental health difficulty has.

It is very common when first afflicted with conditions like your son to question Allah and have a response as he has. It is even common amongst the parents or carers, but alhamdulillah, you have taken a very strong approach towards the situation.

May Allah reward you and continue to be a source of strength to you during this time of difficulty.

In the time it becomes easier to reason with those experiencing health problems and they come to accept their condition and put things in perspective where they can see the benefit and blessing in their situation as a consequence of Allah’s will.

In your son’s case, the conditions that he has been afflicted with make this more challenging and therefore he is having a much harder time accepting his situation.

In sha Allah in time, he will come to understand. It will require a little more time and patience to help him understand and appreciate Allah’s wisdom.

Much of the wisdom regarding tests will only become evident in the Hereafter such as the rewards for having endured such tests. However, your son is having a hard time comprehending wisdom that he cannot actually see right now.

Therefore with him, it will be necessary to present more concrete evidence that he can relate to now. There are a few ways that you can present information regarding the tests he is facing.

Strengthen his faith


You could also look to examples that exist in the present relating to evidence of Allah’s existence as a means to strengthen his faith that he may be eventually become more receptive to what you tell him about tests that he may not be able to see directly right now.

Encourage him to read the stories of the Prophet (SAW) and the prophets before us who faced greater tests that any of us could expect to experience today, yet look how Allah honored them and their messages were preserved.

The fact that he is able to read these stories or even relate them without having to conduct further reading on the topic is evidence of this.

Even beyond taking a religious approach you can talk with him about any benefits that he might have experienced as a result of his condition. Perhaps it has been something that has improved his relationship with others?

My Depressed Son Lost Faith In Allah, Help! - About Islam


Perhaps it is something that has given him an appreciation for moments when he has good health as well as empathy towards others who may be experiencing ill health. Qualities that he may not have otherwise developed has he not been afflicted with these conditions.

Allah’s wisdom


Then, looking beyond his health conditions at creation in general as evidence for Allah’s existence. Look at things together; the night sky, nature, life coming and going in plants and trees as the season’s pass. How do all these happen? By Allah, of course.

The Qur’an has maintained its original state since 1400 years ago. Despite all corruption in the world, it remains unchanged.

Finding Meaning and Optimism Through Hardship

There is much evidence that can be drawn upon in our daily life that provides clear evidence of Allah’s existence and can renew one’s faith if one just pays attention to the things that they usually overlook on a daily basis.

Once he comes to pay attention to these things it will be easier for him to then accept his test and look at the deeper meanings that come with facing a test; those things that we may not be able to see right now. The things that we simply have to have faith in Allah to accept.

When you think he is ready then you bring in concepts that are not directly observable right now such as the rewards that will come in the hereafter for having endured a trial and the greater the test, the greater the reward.

Additionally, for every trial he is enduring Allah will forgive his sins. This may be particularly since once he comes to have a renewed sense of faith he may be left with some residual feelings of guilt for having questioned Allah so the thought that He is expiating his sins for enduring his difficulties can provide some comfort.

Conclusion


As well as trying to work with him and help him to strengthen him in faith it is important that you do not become disheartened with your seemingly fruitless efforts so far. Allah is watching all you do and will reward your efforts for His sake. Remember that all these blessings apply to you also.

Stay strong in faith and never give up your quest to assist your son and take your own advice in not giving up. This will also be a good example for your son as he looks to you as a positive role model.

Do also keep in mind that having conditions such as your sons may also class him amongst those for which the pen is lifted and in sha Allah Allah will forgive his difficulties in accepting his condition at present.

May Allah reward all your efforts and guide your son aright. May He make things easier for you and bring you to comfort in His remembrance.

When a 15-Year-Old Girl Falls In Love


08 December, 2019


QLet me tell you something before I start: I love my parents a lot as they have given me every happiness in life a child would want, so to hurt them would be the worst thing ever. Some years ago, I fell in love with a guy who happens to be three years younger than me, and initially, it was a sister-brother kind of relationship because I never in my life could think of going for a guy younger than me.

It just happened and I could not stop myself then and there and I wanted to tell my parents that I do not look at him like I used to, but things just got out of hand with my parents. I had a done a lot of wrong like lying and stealing, but never to the extent that it would be very harmful to my family.

After a lot of struggle, I realized my family would not say yes; therefore, I let go of one of my deepest desires ever and dumped him, as I could not go against my father—he is the closest to my heart. I would like to bring to your notice that the reasons given to me were that the guy had a history (which I strongly believe all boys have), he was younger (no problem in Islam), and he was not stable to take care of me (a relevant point).

I understood my parents’ concern and wanted to show them I did care for them; therefore, I left him. He, on the other hand, fought with his parents and made them ready for me but then I dumped him. Two years of not being with him left me devastated and an emotional wreck as I missed him a lot and somewhere knew I would be happy with him, but I did what I thought was right.

Now, due to some reason, I had the chance to talk to him again and I came to know that he had never given up the idea of me and was coming to get me once he finished his education and was planning to work. I was in the air and thus, even with all the resistance I wanted to keep, I could not.

I am now back with him. I believe he loves me and I love him too but I am failing to make my parents or family understand me on it. I do not want to lie again, and I do not want to see them hurt because I do love them a lot. I am really confused. I even performed the Istikharah Prayer about him and got a good response.

Please help me. I ask Allah for guidance every single day and ask forgiveness from Him for lying to my parents. But my heart is not in my hands, particularly as I know he is still as I left him. How can I leave him again? Please help me.


ANSWER

Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman


08 December, 2019


 In this counseling Answer:


•Your parents should be of concern to you, but at this point, if you are involved in a pre-marital relationship you are disobeying Allah and, therefore, your primary goal should be to give up this relationship.

•If you truly believe this young man will bring you closer to Allah and you are convinced that the Istikharah Prayer has resulted in a positive inclination towards marrying him, even then you will have to have the permission of your father since he is your wali or guardian.

•Make lots of du`aa’ to Allah to guide you and to bless you with a husband who is pious and uplifts your faith, your family, and helps you in the future.

As-Salamu `Alaikum,

Thank you for “bumping” into our Web site. We appreciate your trying to reach out to us. Here are some thoughts for your consideration.

Respect your parents


First, Allah Most High knows well the love you have for your parents and the sincere desire which you have to please Allah as well as your parents.

In His ultimate wisdom, Allah Most High revealed in Surat Al-Israa’ [17] verse 23, that

 “Your Lord has decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents.”

Reflect on this verse and read the tafseer to help you grasp the deep meaning conveyed in this verse and other such verses in the Qur’an.

Can I Force My Daughter to Wear Hijab? - About Islam


Our parents have a high station in the sight of Allah and, therefore, we are to do everything in our power to show respect and to treat our parents with kindness and love.

Pre-marriage trap 


Second, we are not clear what you mean when you say you are “with” this young man. Then you left him and now you are back “with” him. In Islam, there is no being “with” a man or a woman unless you are together “with” a marriage contract.

If you are in fact talking about a pre-marital relationship, then we suggest that there really is no discussion about whether or not you should worry about displeasing your parents.

The real discussion should be when you are going to stop disobeying Allah Most High.

Your parents should be of concern to you, but at this point, if you are involved in a pre-marital relationship you are disobeying Allah and, therefore, your primary goal should be to give up this relationship until and unless you can get married to this man.

Is it worth?


Third, suppose you are ready to marry this man, at that point, you will have to take into account the impact that your marriage to him will have on your relationship with your parents.

If you truly believe this young man will bring you closer to Allah and you are convinced that the Istikharah Prayer has resulted in a positive inclination towards marrying him, even then you will have to have the permission of your father since he is your wali or guardian.

You said that your father is closest to your heart. Well, you will have to think about this situation through in detail. If your father insists that you should not marry this young man, you will have to ask yourself whether it is worth convincing your father to allow you to marry him.

Only you know best about your family situation and just how difficult life will be for you should you choose to marry this man without your family’s blessing and support.

Think again


Finally, think hard about what you are doing. Why and how did you end up being “with” this man? Is he one who reminds you of Allah? Really? What is it about him that makes you think will help you become closer to Allah?

Make lots of du`aa’ to Allah to guide you and to bless you with a husband who is pious and uplifts your faith, your family, and helps you in the future.

My Teenage Daughter Has a Non-Muslim Boyfriend; Please Help!


23 June, 2020


QSalam. I found out my 16 years old daughter has a boyfriend. I saw a photo in her mobile with him, with a glass or beer! The guy seems to be a non-Muslim, maybe one of his classmates.

I am shocked and do not know what to do now. I thought I raised her with good morality! I haven’t talked to her yet, I do not know how to react to this behavior. What do you advise me?


ANSWER

Aisha Mohammad


23 June, 2020


In this counseling answer:


•Tell her that you would like to spend some quality time with her.

•Help your daughter remove these communication blocks so that she opens up and talks to you about the issues she is most concerned about.

•Listening to her perspective and reducing the authority in speech and action is now required in order to build loving bridges during this turmoilous time of teenage years.

As-Salamu ’Alaykum sister,


Thank you for writing to us with your most important concern. I am sorry you had to find out about your daughter’s “boyfriend” through her phone pictures, rather than her telling you. I am sure it was a shock to you to see her with a boy.

When a 15-Year-Old Girl Falls In Love

I am sure you raised her in an Islamic home, sister, and I am sure you taught her good behaviors and morals. However, as you know, 16 is a very difficult time in regards to managing emotions and reactions. 

It is also a time wherein sexual urges are high, the desire to be “liked” by the opposite sex is appealing, as well as trying to fit in “with the crowd” is tempting.

Sister, as you taught her good morals, did you also teach her how to avoid falling into haram acts? Did you provide coping skills, practical tips, and open door policy so she could talk to you about anything? 

I am not asking these questions in an accusatory way sister, but am asking because as parents we often teach our children right from wrong but we often fail to teach them coping skills to deal with temptations.

Sometimes in trying to keep our children on the right path we often build walls (don’t do this or else…) instead of bridges (If you ever feel like you want to talk, I am here for you….).

I think most parents have done this at one time or another as we often forget that open, safe and loving communication with our teen kids will go farther than a set of do’s and don’ts.

I would kindly suggest sister that first of all you don’t assume. The picture could be totally innocent beside the beer and the fact she was with a male). It could be that he is not her boyfriend, but just a boy at school whom she knows.

He could be Muslim, Muslim kids do fall short!).In not assuming, you are giving her the benefit of the doubt when you do talk to her and by not assuming the worst, you are insha’Allah opening up the lines of communication wherein if you accuse her, it could shut them down.

I would kindly suggest sister that you take her out for lunch or a tea somewhere quiet. Tell her that you would like to spend some quality time with her and see where she would like to go for lunch/tea.

I usually suggest a tea/lunch-dinner date as it is more conducive to having a conversation, there are little interruptions and people usually sit face to face.

With that said, I would begin the conversation with how proud you are of her and how you are proud of the fine young lady she is growing up to be. 

While this may be hard as emotions are running high as you just saw the picture, the idea is to get her to trust you, to open up to you and view you as not only her mother-but as her best friend.

My Teenage Daughter Has a Non-Muslim Boyfriend; Please Help! - About Islam


At 16, you have already raised her and your relationship should be on a different level by now. I would suggest following up by telling her of time (or two) when you were her age and experienced success or failure.

I would encourage you to talk to her about how you felt when you first started liking boys and what it felt like, and how you coped with temptations.

Talk about your relationship with your mom when you were her age and what you wished she did differently (if anything) or share how your mom was supportive. While talking with her about your experiences as a teenager, ask her for her feedback.

You can ask her “well what would you have done” or “have you ever felt like this?” The goal of all this sister is trust: to share yourself with your daughter, so she will begin to open up and share with you. 

My Teenage Daughter Has a Non-Muslim Boyfriend; Please Help! - About Islam


My Son In Love With A Non-Muslim Girl


At this point, you can only guide your daughter if she feels safe to talk to you and trust you with her secrets”; with her fears, her mistakes as well as successes.

While I do not know what kind of relationship the two of you have now, or had in the past, it is a good time to try to restructure the relationship creating one in which she not only respects you as her mother but trusts you as a friend whom she can come to no matter what she does or does not do. 

While you may have a good relationship, often times as you know from being a teen, there are certain things as teens we did not tell our parents for fear of letting them down, fear of punishment, or because we simply felt they would not understand.

The practical way of helping your daughter now is to remove these communication blocks. 

When we seek repentance from Allah, it is because we fear Him (respect), we are sad to disappoint him (love) and we seek His forgiveness and guidance in the future. As Allah loves to forgive, so we too as parents should love to forgive our children and offer guidance.

According to Islam, by the time your child is around 14, your role in your daughter’s life is still that of a mentor, educator and now a friend. 

Listening to her perspective and reducing the authority in speech and action is now required in order to build loving bridges during this turmoilous time of teenage years.

I know it is a difficult thing to do because we want the best for our children and it devastates us when we see them doing things that could or do harm them, however, if we hope to be viewed as one who is a trusted friend as well as a parent, we must let go of outgrown ways.  Allah knows best.

Getting back to the picture, sister. My heart goes out to you. As a parent, I know the hurt – my first reaction when hearing my daughter might be dating was not good and it did not go well.

I learned my approach was not the best, I changed and then my daughter changed. She did not change overnight; it took time, but it was so worth it. Now she comes to me with everything, and she is a wonderfully moral, beautiful young lady.

I am confident you raised an intelligent, moral young lady who likes every other teen-and human being-falls sometimes.

I would kindly suggest that you do not bring up the picture per say as this may break any growing sense of trust and bonding that is occurring during your time together for lunch.

Do, however, inquire during your conversation if there is anyone she is interested in for marriage. If the conversation has been going well, this should prompt a reply in regards to the picture.

If not, insha’Allah continue to build communication and trust with her from here on out.

Insha’Allah she will eventually respond to your efforts by confiding in you with her concerns and needs as well as seek out your advice.

I would also kindly suggest that you remind her that you love her and trust that she will make good decisions and assure her that you are there for her to talk to about anything and that you value her as your daughter and as a young woman.

This may be even a harder test than finding the picture as it requires you to let go a little, to trust fully in Allah’s mercy as well as restructure your role in your daughter’s life.

Make du’aa’ for your daughter, and trust in Allah.

Dealing With Teenage Son’s Hormonal Changes


22 December, 2018


QI am looking for advice. My son is almost 12 and he has hit those preteen hormonal stages. He was always an A-B student until last year. He lost interest in school and I had to stay behind his every move to keep him on track and he got a C! He is active in all sports—soccer, baseball, basketball, and now football. He loves video games. My problem is that he has become sort of withdrawn from me. He has always talked to me about EVERYTHING and now he just sort of “sulks” around. The main changes I have seen are that he is very unorganized—messy room, doesn't care about assignments much, and crams dirty laundry under the bed. He is withdrawn. He is not open with me, changes friends often, and HIDES THINGS. I know the hormones are raging, I see the physical changes (the beginning of acne, hair, and now some slight vocal changes). He is so special to me and I don't want to lose him during the teen years. I welcome any advice to help me deal with him. He was chosen to be in the honors program this year and is doing all advanced classes. I will be so upset if he blows this. He is so intelligent, but he has started to be careless a bit about his grades. Please help!


ANSWER

Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman


22 December, 2018


In this counseling answer:


•You have to pay attention to him, monitor his behavior and his moods, but try to resist the temptation to “help” him through this phase.He will ultimately seek your help, in sha’ Allah, but right now he just needs you to be there if and when he ever feels he wants to open up to you.

•While you should be concerned that his grades are slipping and he seems withdrawn, we caution you from becoming too obsessed with making sure he improves his grades, because you will end up missing other signals your son might be sending about his emotional and mental state of mind.

•Work with him to establish a study routine that he can follow as well as reminding him gently about his chores around the house.

As-Salamu `Alaikum,

How wonderful that your son has such a caring parent, ma sha’ Allah! Here are some thoughts for your consideration.

First, remember that unless there are some serious behavioral issues with your son, he is manifesting normal, age-appropriate behaviors. Allah Most High has created us and willed that we go through certain stages of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development. Perhaps the most dynamic, sometimes volatile, most awesome transition is the one from being a child to becoming a teenager.

We know that harnessing the energy of these years and channeling it for productive use is also a great challenge that parents all over the world face. However, we also know that with Allah’s help and lots of love and nurturing, most teenagers emerge into adulthood as functional, upright beings.

Second, remember that your son is himself quite bewildered at the physical and emotional changes he is experiencing, and he needs you to just be there for him. He might be embarrassed at what is happening to him, and while he might have talked to you about “everything” before, the early teenage years bring about a sort of awkwardness where the teens avoid talking about what they are experiencing physically and emotionally.

He will ultimately seek your help, in sha’ Allah, but right now he just needs you to be there if and when he ever feels he wants to open up to you. He might not open up when you want him to, but he will, in sha’ Allah. Pushing him too hard to open up earlier than he is ready to do so could backfire and he might close up even more. Be patient with him, in sha’ Allah.

Third, adolescence also marks the start of a search for an identity. Your son has been an A-B student, so you know full well that he is bright, intelligent, and capable of performing well in school.

While you should be concerned that his grades are slipping and he seems withdrawn, we caution you from becoming too obsessed with making sure he improves his grades, because you will end up missing other signals your son might be sending about his emotional and mental state of mind. Work with him to establish a study routine that he can follow as well as reminding him gently about his chores around the house.

As he questions his own identity more and more, he will go through phases of certainty and uncertainty as to what he ultimately wants to do in life. While he is reflecting on his identity he might seem withdrawn, but you should not worry unless you notice unseemly, aggressive, or outright sinful conduct.

Finally, we caution you from making your goals for your son the main driving force for your intervention with him. As your son experiences adolescence, he will want to assert his independence, and any moment he perceives that you are trying to live out your own childhood through him, he will lose trust and confidence in you.

Build confidence and trust by making small, consistent gestures to show him that you are there for him by supporting him and by remaining involved in his life.

Remember that there is a fine line between involvement and interference.

We do recommend that you acquire the book Living With Teenagers: A Guide for Muslim Parents by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood.

Make du`aa’ to Allah to bless your son and to guide him, in sha’ Allah, to have a safe and productive adolescent experience. And Allah knows best.

Moving Out Is My Teenage Son’s Goal


13 May, 2020


QI am having serious problems with my eldest son, who will be 16 years old in a few day. He has decided that he is leaving home to move down south to be near a non-Muslim girl he has met through the Internet.

He has been skipping school for basically the whole of this academic year and he has been under the care of a psychiatrist for the past five months. His school has been supportive and obviously the psychiatrist has played his role in all aspects.

As his parents, we have found it difficult to bring an Islamic perspective into all the dealings that we have had with statutory authorities.

Basically, it would seem that once he is 16 he can do whatever he likes; until then, we have just got to put up with whatever he throws at us. We know that he is not happy at home and we have suggested that he move out but stay within the area so that at least we are there if he needs us, but what if he refuses this suggestion?

Is there any way that we can point him in the right direction? Should he wake up to the fact that what he is doing is wrong Islamically and morally? We have younger sons and we do not want to go down the same route again, so please advise us.

Any help on how to bring them up in such a way that their iman (faith) will be stronger would be very much appreciated. We have daughters who have not had these problems.

I find the difference between the genders difficult to understand and deal with. May Allah reward you with good.


ANSWER

Hwaa Irfan


13 May, 2020


In this counseling answer:


•The psychiatrist who is working with your son needs to be oriented to the Islamic worldview of natural parenting regarding the parent-child relationship, and age-appropriate behaviors according to an Islamic outlook.

•Do not give your son ultimatums, as you might find it difficult to uphold or carry out what you propose to do as a form of discipline.

•If he insists on moving out, and you feel that he will move out regardless of your opposition, then let him move out to a good and reliable relative.

•Should he refuse even that, then be proactive and try to locate Muslim youth groups and Islamic societies whose members could possibly link up with your son.

As-salamu Alaikum dear sister,


May Allah Most High remove the anxiety that surrounds you regarding your son’s future.

In sha’ Allah, your other children will not pose such a tremendous challenge to you if you take precautions now and increase your involvement in their daily lives. We pray for the best for you and your children.

Moving Out Is My Teenage Son's Goal - About Islam


My Son Wants To Leave Home, Help!


Parents living in the West often encounter problems with their children similar to the problems you are having with your son. Since you are so closely involved, it might seem from the outset that the situation is beyond repair, but we want to reassure you that, in sha’ Allah, everything will work out with some patience, perseverance, and understanding.

The psychiatrist who is working with your son needs to be oriented to the Islamic worldview of natural parenting regarding the parent-child relationship, and age-appropriate behaviors according to an Islamic outlook.

Moving Out Is My Teenage Son's Goal - About Islam


You need to talk to the psychiatrist and help him or her understand that what might seem age appropriate behaviors for non-Muslims, sometimes directly contradict Islamic teachings such as the impermissibility of dating or drinking alcohol.

Although the appropriateness of such behaviors for non-Muslims might be related to a specific age, in Islam, dating and drinking alcohol, for example, are forbidden for all ages at all times.

Your psychiatrist and other statutory authorities must be oriented to such an Islamic outlook; otherwise, you will find it very difficult to show them why you oppose certain of your son’s behaviors.

Finally, with regards to your son moving out or moving down south, we think you should do your best to talk him out of it. Do not give him ultimatums, as you might find it difficult to uphold or carry out what you propose to do as a form of discipline.

If he insists on moving out, and you feel that he will move out regardless of your opposition, then let him move out to a good and reliable relative. Should he refuse even that, then be proactive and try to locate Muslim youth groups and Islamic societies whose members could possibly link up with your son.

Should he refuse even that, then be proactive and try to locate Muslim youth groups and Islamic societies whose members could possibly link up with your son.

In sha’ Allah, there will be some young Muslims who can reach out to your son and make him feel a part of their community. This is the safety net you can provide for him and his choices should be within this net.

My Son Doesn’t Respect Me


26 April, 2020


QAs-salamu alaykum.

I need your help, I have a problem with my son, he is undisciplined, and he doesn't respect me or his father and even the old aged.

This really embarrasses me. He is very frank and can say anything that comes into his mind. My maid cannot cope with him because of this.

He says everybody hates him and nobody loves him including me, his own mother despite that we provide him the best in terms of everything.

I don’t know why does he act like that. Please advise.


ANSWER

Aisha Mohammad


26 April, 2020


In this counseling answer:


•Talk with him about what is bothering him (age appropriate).

•Do more listening rather than talking. Spend time with him doing things he finds enjoyable.

•Ask about school, how things are going for him as far as friends, grades and studies.

•Get him involved in Islamic studies for children as well as fun Islamic activities.

As-salamu alaykum dear sister,


While you did not say how old your son is, it does sound like he is seeking attention and testing his limits.

8-Year-Old Son Demands Respect As Man of The House

Children also often act out when they are unhappy, angry, sad or have other negative emotions.

Communicate with him


I would kindly suggest trying to talk with him about what is bothering him (age appropriate) and do more listening rather than talking.

I would also suggest that if you are not already, spend time with him doing things he finds enjoyable. It will create trust and further bonding insha’Allah.

My Son Doesn't Respect Me - About Islam


Check his environment 


Ask about school, how things are going for him as far as friends, grades and studies. Often times when there are problems in school or making friends, it comes out in a child’s behavior.

Engage him in activities 


Lastly, get him involved in Islamic studies for children as well as fun Islamic activities. Being around other boys who are respectful and kind may help him see his behaviors are not appropriate and insha’Allah he may start modeling the positive behaviors he sees.

Check out this counseling video

If you notice further signs of depression such as crying, lethargy, threats of self-harm, disturbed sleeping or eating patterns, nightmares, or destructive behaviors (throwing, hitting, breaking things etc.) please do engage a child therapist to evaluate him.

While depending on his age he may just be testing the boundaries (which you must set for him) it is better to get him evaluated if it continues or worsens despite your attempts to find out his feelings and correct his behaviors.

You are in our prayers, please let us know how he is doing.