The misconception about al-hoor al-‘iyn in the Qur’aan

introduction
??Men and women have a different nature. This nature can easily be sensed when you look at the way life goes. How many times have you seen men hitting on women? How many times did you see the opposite? How many times did you see an advertisement with a woman wearing sexy cloths and how many times did you see the opposite? A car is being sold and a nice looking semi naked woman standing there. How many times did you see the opposite? 

Why the statistics in the United States says that 20% of the women have been subjected to sexual harassment? Why the sex industry is a multi-billion dollar industry though it is made by men for men while simply using or better say abusing women. 90% of married men knows that porn movies have nothing to do with real life.

Now back to the question, why? The answer is simple: people noticed the significant urge of men for women and decided to make use of it irrespective of destroying women in this process. Money will be made and men desire will be satisfied so who cares about women?

Now, Allah cares and so does the believers. Allah created human beings and He knows what we are prone to and He knows the consequences of evil. He commanded the believers in the Quran not to even just look at women in an appropriate way. We are not saying touch, we are saying look. He commanded women to cover up them selves properly to be protected from evil wolves and to facilitate the job for the men to lower their gaze. In Islam it is a major sin punishable by hell if you hold a sexual relationship with a woman outside marriage. Not only punishment on the judgment day but authorities also will punish you in this life if you were caught. Actually, if you were married then you are to be put to death for that.

Abusing women for any reason is forbidden in Islam. Their protection is the first and outmost duty for the father, brother, husband, relatives and the ruling authorities. It is not optimal. It is a duty and obligatory. The prophet Muhammad peace and blessings of Allah be on him fought a battle because a man from a non Muslim tribe pulled the dress of a Muslim woman in the market place and made her private parts appear. Muslim men will die for their women without thinking.

Now the believers comply to all this. They Do not touch or harm women or have any inappropriate relationship with a woman. They simply marry only.

In the Muslim countries almost all women and men are virgins due to these very strict rules. The first time they ever have sex is when they marry. If you are a Western reading this then probably you are now shocked.

Now, Allah the all mighty has set a reward for men who complied and women who complied. For the men, he will give them way better than what evil people were trying to give them in this life. He will give them simply beautiful women (called Hoor Ein) to marry in paradise. Each man will have many beautiful wives to compensate him for complying to Allah in this life and limiting and controlling his desires. 

Women are given something different. They are given beauty such that the believer woman will be more than 70 times as beautiful as the “Hour Ein”. Again, how many women did you see hitting on men and how many men were hitting on women? How many time did you see a woman spending time dressing and preparing to look beautiful? How many times did you see a man doing that? How long do women do shopping for beauty and beauty supplies? How long men do that?

Allah is the most Just. He created and He knows how to reward. The funny thing is that the ugly and evil people who see all the sexual abuse of women and using them as tools to please men come to question Islam and say “why believing men will have women in paradise”. We answer him and say “because they did not abuse them for their pleasure in this life”

1_
Firstly: 
Pleasing the most Merciful and entering Paradise are the ultimate aim that believing men and women should wish for. If a person departs this world having won the pleasure of Allaah, then he will have the glad tidings of all that is good after that. When he enters Paradise he will have delights and pleasures such as no eye has seen, no ear has heard and it has not entered the mind of any man. He will have all that he wishes for in the best ways. Everything that he asks for will be granted, and everything that he longs for he will get. He will never find anything to upset or disturb him, because he is in the care of the Most Merciful, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Therein you shall have (all) that your inner?selves desire, and therein you shall have (all) for which you ask.
32. An entertainment from (Allaah), the Oft?Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[Fussilat 41:31-32]
One of the best things that people long for in the Hereafter is, for men, the women of Paradise, namely al-hoor al-‘iyn, and for women there is an equivalent delight. By His great wisdom, Allaah has not mentioned what the women will have as the equivalent of al-hoor al-‘iyn for men, and that is due to modesty and shyness. How can He encourage them to seek Paradise by mentioning something that they are too shy and modest to mention or speak about themselves? So He has simply hinted at it, as in the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“Therein you shall have (all) that your inner?selves desire
[Fussilat 41:31-32]

Secondly: 
The situation of the believing woman in Paradise will be better than the situation of the hoor al-‘iyn; she will be higher in status and more beautiful. Several ahaadeeth and reports have been narrated concerning that, but none of them can be proven to be sound. But if a righteous woman from among the people of this world enters Paradise, then she will do so as a reward for her righteous deeds and as a honour from Allaah to her for her religious commitment and righteousness. As for the hoori who is one of the delights of Paradise, she has only been created in Paradise for the sake of someone else, and has been made the reward for the believing man for his righteous deeds. There is a great difference between one who enters Paradise as a reward for her righteous deeds and the one who was created as a reward for one who did righteous deeds. The former is a queen and a princess, and the latter, no matter how beautiful she is, is undoubtedly lower in status than a queen, and she is subject to the command of her believing master for whom Allaah created her as a reward.  
https://islamqa.info/en/60188