The Prophet's Plural Marriages
islam as the perfect religion for all times and all places, is both rational and practical. the wisdom behind the prophet (saw)'s plural marriages is to show all possible types of marriage in islam. in line with polygyny, most enemies of islam center their biased criticms on the prophet's (saw) plural marriages, which exceeded more than four as allowed in the quran. the enemies of islam branded the prophet (saw) as a "sexually obsessed man" (astagh ferrullah) for marrying more than four. the muslims have to correct such distorted notions about the prophet (saw). we, as muslims, should make it clear to the non-muslims that allah (swt) commands us to follow the prophet (saw) as he is the best example to all mankind. allah (swt) says,
" indeed in the messenger of allah [muhammad (saw)] you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the meeting with) allah and the last day and remembers allah much." (al-ahzab 33:21)
the prophet's (saw) plural marriages are an example for us to follow. each marriage set the path to all possible types of marriages in islam. if he (saw) was a "sexually obsessed man" (astagh ferrullah) he would have married more in his early manhood, not after he had passed the age of fifty.
the fact that he married khadijah bint khuwailid (ra) and lived a monogamous life (for twenty-seven years) till she died, showed that he (saw) was not a "sexually obsessed man." on the contrary, the prophet's (saw) marriage to khadijah (ra) shows only limited types of marriage that are allowed in islam. his marriage to khadijah (ra) showed that it is permissable for a man to marry a woman who is older than him, for a poor and orphan man to marry a wealthy woman, for an employee to marry his employer, and for a bachelor to marrry a widow.
if allah (swt) did not allow the prophet (saw) to marry other women, how could marriage in islam be open to all other types of marriages? had the prophet (saw) not married other women, muslims who follow the quran and the authentic sunnah would find it difficult to enter into marriage with the limited examples from the prophet's (saw) marriage to khadijah (ra).
the prophet's (saw) plural marriages after his monogamous marriage with khadijah (ra), for so many years, show that in islam it is allowed for a man to marry a virgin woman, who is very much younger than him, as in the case of aisha bint abu bakr (ra). a man can choose to marry a young and intelligent woman like aisha (ra). he can marry his friend's daughters, in the same way as the prophet (saw) married aisha and hafsah (ru), the daughters of his closest friends: abu bakr and umar (ru) in order to foster ties of relationships.
a man can marry his enemie's daughters as the prophet (saw) married: juwairiyah bint al-harith (ra), the daughter of al -harith, the head of bani al-mustaliq of khuza'ah and umm habiba or ramlah (ra), the daughter of abu sufyan (ra). note that both al-harith and abu sufyan (ra) were bitter enemies of islam. the prophet's (saw) marriages to their daughters show how islam goes for peace and reconciliation. knowing that juwairiah and ramlah (ru) are both from ruling familes, man's marriage to women of high social status is therefore, allowed.
likewise, it is allowed for a man to marry woman of low social class as in the case of maria (ra), who was given to the prophet (saw) as a present by the ruler of egypt. ther prophet (saw) elevated her status by marrying her, instead of making her his slave.
his marriages to his captives: juwairiyah bint al-harith and safiyyah bint huyay bin akhtab (ru), not only show how islam tolerates mixed marriages based on social status, but also shows the high regard given to women. instead of making them slaves, being his captives, he married them and gave them the highest status of women being among the "mothers of the believers." it further shows how the prophet (saw) freed women from the bondage of slavery. aside from inter socio-cultural marriages, the prophet (saw) also demonstrated that islam permits inter religious marriage with the people of the book by marrying safiyyah bin huyay bint akhtab (ra), a jew and maria (ra), a christian from egypt. both of them embraced islam and became among the "mothers of the believers."
with the prophet's (saw) marriage to sawda bint zam'a (ra), a widower can opt to marry a middle-aged, kind, jolly, and widowed woman like sawda (ra) who can take care of his children.
the prophet's (saw) marriages to hafsah bint umar bin al-khattab (ra), zainab bint khuzaimah (ra) and umm salamah hind bint abi omaiyah (ra), all widows, show that men should show sympathy and care for widows by marrying them. had he not married umm salamah (ra), a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. he showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children.
the prophet's (saw) marriage to his cousin, zainab bint jahsh (ra), who was divorced by his adopted son, zaid (ra), shows that in islam, it is lawful for man to marry his first degree cousin. it is also lawful for a man to marry a woman, divorced by his adopted son.
in addition, islam allows the practice of betrothal before entering into marriage as the prophet (saw) did prior to his marriage to aisha (ra).
it also permits marriage in absentia as in the case of his marriage to umm habiba or ramlah (ra), the daughter of abu sufyan (ra), who was in abyssinia. the prophet (saw) asked the king of negus for umm habibah's (ra) hand for marriage, which the king granted.
non-muslims should know that allah (swt) permitted all of the prophet's (saw) plural marriages. the plural marriages of the prophet (saw) are a guidance of the believers. they serve as guides on the do's and dont's of marriages in islam. all the types of marriages that we derive from the prophet's (saw) plural marriages are based on the following words of allah (swt),
"...(lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from those who were given the scripture (jews and christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends..." (al-ma'idah 5:5)
"and (remember) when you said to him [zaid ibn harithah (ra) - the freed-slave of the prophet (saw)] on whom allah has bestowed grace (by guiding him to islam) and you [o muhammad (saw) too] have done favor (by manumitting him) "keep your wife to yourself, and fear allah." but you did hide in yourself (i.e. what allah has already made known to you that he will give her to you in marriage) that which allah will make manifest, you did fear the people (i.e. muhammad (saw) married the divorced wife of his manumitted slave) whereas allah had a better right that you should fear him. so when zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), we gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). and allah's command must be filled." (al-ahzab 33:37)
"o prophet [muhammad (saw)]! verily, we have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (captives or slaves) whom your right hand possesses - whom allah has given to you, and the daughters of 'amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your 'ammah (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your khal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your khalah (maternal aunts) who migrated (from makkah) with you, and a believing woman if she offers herself to the prophet, and the prophet wishes to marry her; - a priviledge for you only, not for the (rest of) the believers. indeed we know what we have enjoined upon them about their wives and those (captives or slaves) whom their right hands possess, - in order that there should be no difficulty on you. and allah is ever oft-forgiving, most merciful." (al-ahzab 33:50)
all of the types of marriages as demonstrated by the prophet (saw) show that islam is indeed, complete, rational, and practical for all times and all places. in short, islam is the perfect religion for all mankind!
this question is very important as it touches a very sensitive issue that has always been the favorite misconception, through which orientalists propagate against islam. they deal with this issue of the prophets' nine marriages as though it were his achilles heel! they contrast him with jesus. because jesus was unmarried, he was considered chaste and wise (as we muslims also believe him to be). but they portray muhammad as a lustful womanizer who has nothing to do except to satisfy his fleshy desires. this is the repelling image that enemies of islam often stress.
the following facts, concerning his marriages could help her have a better understanding of the personality of that great man:
1-this comparison between jesus and muhammad is unfair because being married is not a discredit to a prophet otherwise we are going to deny the prophet-hood of all the previous prophets of god. this is since adam, passing through abraham (two wives at one time), noah, isaac, solomon, david (99 wives) moses etc., and they were all wise, chaste, and reliable for delivering the divine message.
2-prophet muhammad married this number at a time, when the norm of the place in which he lived (arab peninsula in the 7th century) allowed men to marry a much larger number than that, there was no legislation to prohibit this behavior yet.
3-after that, the divine order came to muslims through the qur’an, to restrict the number of their wives to a maximum of four. god said to them in the verse what means:
*{if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.}* (al-an`am 6: 3)
on hearing this order, all who men who had more than four wives divorced them, in full submission to god's orders. the divorced wives - who accepted this divine decree with full satisfaction, implied by their deep faith - soon found other marriages and lead normal lives. nevertheless, the prophet - who had nine wives at the time the order was revealed - was exempted from this order in a later verse of qur'an which gives the meaning of:
*{o prophet! we have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; ...}* (al-ahzab 33: 50)
this exemption was because there was a prohibition in the qur’an for any muslim to marry the prophet's wives once he died or divorced them:
*{...nor is it right for you that ye should annoy god's apostle, or that ye should marry his widows after him at any time. truly such a thing is in god's sight an enormity.}* (al-ahzab 33: 53)
so, it was rather inhuman for his wives to be doomed to solitude and depravity all their lives. thus he was exceptionally permitted to keep them.
4-looking at the circumstances, in which he married each wife, one finds that all those marriages were the furthest from being motivated simply by lust. the marriage to his first wife, khadijah, was his only wife until she died after almost 20 years of marriage. this marriage to khadijah covered the years of his youth. despite the fact that these years were supposed to be the peak of his sexual demand, he did not think of taking any other wife together with her.
the rest of his wives - whom he married after her death - came at a time when he was nearly 50! exhausted in spreading the new religion, mostly chased by the infidels and where attempts at taking his life were frequent, i, personally, don't think that this was a romantic atmosphere for anybody to go on amorous adventures!
5-most of his wives whom he took after the death of khadijah were old in age, devoid of beauty and were formerly married - except `a'ishah, who was the only one who was young and a virgin. this is despite the fact that he was always the target of many believing ladies, who came offering themselves to him in marriage, but then he politely apologized to them.
6-every one of these marriages was for a reason; either political to make alliance with other tribes, or human to sustain a widow of a martyr or to honor a lady whom no body wanted to marry… etc. it was not reported that he married them out of carnal desires.
7-he was a model example of justice and kindness to them all regardless of his neutral feelings towards many of them, he would never discriminate among them or reveal the special feelings he had for `a'ishah rather than the others.
[note: many anti-islamic sites spread misconceptions relating to our beloved holy prophet muhammad's (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) marriages. we present here an article that will clear our beloved holy prophet (pbuh) off these blasphemous charges. may allah guide the opponents of islam aright, aameen!]
the several marriages that the holy prophet muhammad (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) contracted have been much misunderstood and subjected to derogatory remarks beyond all limits of justice and decency. notwithstanding the fact, that the institution of polygyny existed before the advent of the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) and a majority of biblical prophets were polygamous , our critics single him out "heaping abuses, calumny and derogatory epithets, upon him." 1 the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) contracted a number of marriages after the age of fifty-three. the accusation of being licentious is nothing but a product of their own fertile imagination. dr. besant refutes this assertion: "but do you mean to tell me that the man who in the full flush of youthful vigour, a young man of four and twenty (24), married a woman much his senior, and remained faithful to her for six and twenty years (26), at fifty years of age when the passions are dying married for lust and sexual passion? not thus are men's lives to be judged. and you look at the women whom he married, you will find that by every one of them an alliance was made for his people, or something was gained for his followers, or the woman was in sore need of protection." 2
the famous author of the book called "mohammad and mohammedanism", bosworth smith explains: "it should be remembered, however, that most of mohammad's marriages may be explained at least, as much by his pity for the forlorn condition of the persons concerned as by other motives. they were almost all of them with widow who were not remarkable either for their beauty or their wealth, but quite the reverse. " 3 the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) contracted marriages either for the protection of the females whose husbands had died for the cause of islam or for cementing the bonds of love with those who could by their position and influence be of service to islam or for the benefit of humanity at large. "in every single case it was a personal sacrifice on the part of muhammad (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) to have contracted the marriage, or circumstances obliged him to do so whilst there was as yet no law limiting the number of wives." 4 the ladies who married the prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) did so of their own volition. none of them was forced into marriage. the youthful days of the prophet prior to the beginning of revelation, "were free from every blemish ; neither his worst enemies during his life nor the mud-slinging critics of the later times have ever been able to find the slightest fault with this critical period of his life. his veracity, chastity, innocence and pureness of heart were proverbial for he never indulged in anything unbecoming of a true should youth like him." 5 from twenty-five years up to the age of fifty he remained with a wife older than him. during this period of his age he remained devoted to his wife and even after her death he remembered her with love and compassion." 6
it is narrated on the authority of jabir ibn abdullah that abu jahl and some of the chiefs of the quraish approached the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) and said: "if you are anxious for leadership, we are prepared to declare you our leader, if you need riches we would collect for you an enormous amount of wealth that will suffice not only for you but even for your descendants; if you are impelled by sexual urge, you may chose ten beautiful damsels out of the whole tribe of quraish. the holy prophet kept silent and did not utter a word. when their talks concluded, the holy prophet recited the following verse of the qur'an : "beneficent god! a revelation from the beneficent, the merciful : a book of which the verses are made plain, an arabic qur'an for a people who know – good news and a warning. but most of them turn away, so they hearken not" (41 : 1.4).
the holy prophet concluded his reply on the verse : "then if they turn away, then say: i warn you of a scourge like the scourge of 'ad and thamud, (41 : 13)." 7 this solitary event is enough to refute the charge of licentiousness. the worldly pleasures had no significance for him. "his was a life of perfect sublimity and single-minded devotion to allah, absolutely free from the taints of base desires." 8
a western biographer of the holy prophet pin-points the common weakness of the occidentals who try to bring in a verdict on the marriages of the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him): "muhammad's married life must not be looked at from an occidental point of view or from that set by christian conventions. these men and women were not occidentals and they were not christians. they were living at a period and in a country where the only known ethical standards were theirs. even so, there is no reason why the codes of america and europe should be considered superior to those of the arabs. the people of the west have many things to give to the people of the east. they have much to glean, too, and until they can prove that their way of living is on a higher moral standard than any body else's, they should reserve judgements on other creeds and castes and countries." 9
the holy prophet lived a simple and modest life . being the head of state, the chief justice, the commander-in-chief, the instructor etc., he was the most busiest man of his time, still he spent considerable part of his nights in prayers and meditation .10 his furniture was simple (i.e. mats, jugs, blankets etc.). his life was so simple that his wives did not have worldly comforts. could this be a life of a lustful and passionate man? at the advent of islam in arabia the practice of polygyny was common and deeply rooted in the social life." 11 he contracted various marriages in accordance with the custom of the country.
the limitation of the number of wives was fixed at the end of the eighth year of hijrah and the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) had married all his wives before that period. he was commanded by allah to keep those whom he had already married but was forbidden to marry any more.12 the quranic verse, "it is not allowed to take wives after this, (33 : 52) implies that the holy prophet, like all his other acts contracted those marriages perfectly in accordance with the will of the lord. there was a divine purpose behind them and when it was achieved a restriction was placed upon him." 13
the above facts clearly belie the wrong notions that the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) contracted these marriages in response to physical needs or biological pressures. those who doubt moral integrity or spiritual excellence of our prophet, (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) should answer questions such as: "why did he start his first marriage at the age of 25 years after having had no association with any female? why did he choose a twice-widowed older lady who was 15 years senior to him? why did he remain with her until her death when he was over fifty? why did he accept all those helpless widows and divorcees who possessed no particular appealing qualities? why did he lead such an austere and hard life, when he could have had an easy and comfortable course? why did he con-contract most of his marriages in the busiest five years of his life, when his mission and career were at stake? how could he manage to be what he was, if the harem life or passions overtook him? 14
reasons for the marriages:
the factors that prompted the holy prophet muhammad (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) to contract several marriages are being briefly discussed below:
1. an ideal model:
the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) being the last and the final prophet 15 and "mercy for the nations" 16 was required to present to humanity an ideal and perfect model for all stages of human experience and moral test and for that very reason the holy quran calls him an "excellent exemplar." 17 mankind learnt from him the best ways. as a husband he was kind, "he lived with one wife and with more than one, with the old and the young, with the widow and the divorcee, with the pleasant and the temperamental, with the renowned and the humble; but in all cases he was the pattern of kindness and consolation." 18 to be an ideal model he had to undergo the trials and complexities of human behaviour, which were hard and by no means pleasurable. he gave to the world an ideal example of (i) a celibate life up to the age of twenty-five, (ii) a monogamous life with an old widow and (iii) finally a polygamous life after the age of fifty. in each and every aspect, his life was perfect. he indeed is a model for humanity - an excellent exemplar. such an example could not have been possible without contracting all these marriages.
2. education of the ummah:
with the migration of the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) and the muslims to medina , the islamic society was established. the muslims were required to conform their social and personal behaviour to the teachings of islam. the holy prophet himself meticulously observed the quranic commands and regulations and solved difficult problems concerning muslims' social and political life. the holy prophet encouraged muslims to convey the knowledge they had gained to other muslims. he paid special attention towards female education. for this purpose the holy prophet required fully trained ladies. the ideal way to solve this problem was to personally train some ladies. who could be more trained and witness to the private life of the holy prophet than his wives. "it was not an ordinary work but an important task of vast magnitude which was admirably accomplished by these pious ladies." 19
3. preservation of the holy prophet's private life:
the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) was undoubtedly, the greatest teacher of mankind. he lived an exemplary life, which was a living commentary on the holy quran. "nor does he speak out of desire. it is naught but revelation that is revealed." 20 by marrying with women of varied temperaments he was able to get his private life and actions preserved in a better way in order to set a complete and perfect example to the mankind. it was possible for men to forget many things of his personal life on account of their constant conflict with the outside world but women (house-wives) cannot forget them. it was necessary, therefore, to marry with a number of women of different places and clans having varied tastes, habits and temperaments. besides, a number of laws and rules of the shariah concerning women could be promulgated only through wives." 21 this, perhaps, is one of the most important reasons for the holy prophet's marriages. the wives of the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) were required to serve as models of virtue to the muslims and to teach them all that was "recited in the house, of the messages of allah and the wisdom." 22 thus they were required to remember and convey to the muslims whatever the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) taught them at home.
4. elimination of racial and tribal distinctions:
by contracting some of the marriages the holy prophet muhammad (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) removed the distinctions between different clans and tribes. he eliminated racial and national distinctions and prejudices and upheld piety as criterion of integrity and superiority. he married some of the humblest and poorest women, a coptic girl from egypt and a jewess. thus he removed the distinction of race and creed and gave a practical demonstration of the fact that after accepting islam all are equal in the sight of allah and the shariah revealed by him.
5. status of a divorced woman:
divorced women were looked upon as inferior in status and were not allowed to remarry in pre-islamic era. by marrying a divorced lady the holy prophet muhammad (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) taught that such a marriage is not only lawful but desirable to grant a divorced woman an honourable status in the society.
6. marriage with the divorced wife of an adopted son:
some of the prophet's marriages were for legislative reasons, in order to abolish certain prevailing evil customs and practices. before islam an adopted son was considered as a real son and was entitled to all rights and privileges similar to a real son. islam abrogated this practice. the holy prophet demonstrated his disapproval by marrying hazrat zainab, who was previously married to hazrat zaid, a freed slave, and who was considered his adopted son. thus he established correct status of an adopted child.
7. protection of widows and their children:
the holy prophet also married widowed women. this helped in solving the problem of providing care and protection to widows and their children in peace as well as in war when due to death of large number of male members, women were left with no one to support them.
8. status of freed prisoners of war:
before the advent of our prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) the prisoners of war were taken as slaves. the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) set an example by freeing them on ransom and on several occasions without charging any thing. they were encouraged and assisted to settle down through legal marriages, or earning money by working or even educating people. the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be upon him) not only paid ransom for some and freed them but also married two of the captive women.
9. political reasons:
some of the marriages were political in character. he was concerned for the future of islam. the holy prophet (peace and blessings of allah be on him) was ever anxious to bind his followers belonging to different clans and tribes in mutual love and affection. that was, doubtlessly, the object in marrying juwairiyah (may allah be pleased with her), daughter of haris, the chief of bani al-mustaliq. the whole clan of that tribe and their allies were thus won over to islam. it was through marriage with safiyah (may allah be pleased with her) that the enmity of a section of jewish community was neutralised. similarly by marrying mariya the copt, (may allah be pleased with her) the holy prophet developed blood relations with a ruler of great magnitude.
an ideal husband:
the holy prophet, peace and blessings of allah be upon him, treated his wives with even kindness and affection. he gave to the mankind best possible example in respect of dealing with wives of different age groups having different temperaments and social status. it is reported from hazrat aishah (may allah be pleased with her) the wife of the holy prophet that her husband had remarked many a time that "the best of you is he who is good to his wife". and according to a report from abdullah ibn umar, the prophet, peace and blessings of allah be upon him, declared : "the whole world is a thing to be made use of and the best thing in the world is a virtuous wife." 23
prophet muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) had eleven wives in all and nine at the one time. however, a muslim is allowed a maximum of four wives. how is that?
in his response to the question in point, the eminent muslim scholar, sheikh yusuf al-qaradawi , states:
"before the advent of islam, it had been the habit of men to marry an unlimited number of women. the old testament states that david had 100 wives and solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. however, islam nullified marriage to more than four women.
if a man became a muslim and he had more than four wives, the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would say to him: “choose only four and divorce the rest.”
polygyny is permissible in islam on the condition that the man treats all his wives equally, otherwise he should marry one only. allah almighty says, “and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only).” (an-nisa': 3)
however, allah almighty granted prophet muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) something that is not allowed to any other muslim. he almighty allowed him to keep the wives that he had married and did not order him to divorce, replace any of them, or to marry anymore women. allah almighty says: “it is not allowed thee to take (other) women henceforth nor that thou should change them for other wives even though their beauty pleased thee, save those whom thy right hand possesses.” (al-ahzab: 52)
this is because the wives of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) have a special status: they are mentioned in the qur`an as mothers of the believers. allah almighty says, “the prophet is closer to the believers than their selves, and his wives are (as) their mothers.” (al-ahzab: 6)
due to this honorable position, they were forbidden to remarry after the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). allah almighty says, “and it is not for you to cause annoyance to the messenger of allah, nor that ye should ever marry his wives after him.” (al-ahzab: 53)
this means that if they were divorced, they would have been deprived of marriage for the rest of their lives, and they would also be deprived of the honor of being part the prophet’s family, which is considered an unjust penalty when they had not done anything wrong.
suppose that allah had enjoined the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to choose only four of his wives and divorce the rest. this would mean that four of them would have been chosen to be the mothers of believers and the other five would have been deprived of the honor. this would have been a very awkward situation since none of those exemplary women deserved to be dismissed from the prophet’s family and be denied the honor that she had gained.
therefore, it was allah’s will for them to remain as the prophet’s wives as an exception to him only. this is based on allah’s saying: “lo! the bounty is in allah's hand. he bestoweth it on whom he will. allah is all embracing, all knowing.” (al `imran: 73)
as for the answer to the question: why did the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) marry nine women in the first place? we can say that this is well known. he did not marry any of them for the reasons that the orientalists falsely claim. it was not carnal desires, which made the prophet marry any of his wives. if he were as they claim, he wouldn’t have been the young man married to a woman 15 years his senior. he was 25 when he married khadijah who had been married twice before and had many children.
the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) lived all his youth with her in happiness. when she died, he called that year "the year of grief". he loved, respected and kept praising her so much even after her death to the extent that `a’ishah (may allah be pleased with her) used to be jealous of khadijah despite her having been dead.
at the age of 53, after the death of khadijah and after hijrah (emigration to madinah), the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) began to marry his other wives. he married sawdah bint zam`ah, who was an elderly lady, in order to be his housewife. he married the daughter of abu bakr, who was his friend and companion, in order to strengthen their relationship although she was still too young to be married. then he married hafsah, `umar’s daughter, so that both of his companions, abu bakr and `umar, would be granted the same honor, even though hafsah was a widow and was not pretty.
he also married umu salamah who was a widow. when her husband, abu salamah, died, she thought she would never find a better husband. they had both emigrated and suffered a lot for the cause of islam. she said in her grief as a widow: “lo! we are allah’s and lo! unto him we are returning.” (al-baqarah: 156) she prayed to allah to help her and recompense her with a better husband, but she wondered whether she could ever marry someone better than her late husband. so allah recompensed her for her grief and bestowed on her a far better husband who was prophet muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). he married her and rewarded her for the loss of her husband and her abandoning her family in order to emigrate to madinah.
prophet muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) married juwayriyah bint al-harith in order to encourage her family to be muslims. in the expedition of bani al-mustaliq, the muslims captured a lot of juwayriyah's kinsfolk, and when the companions of the prophet knew that the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had married her, they set the captives free because they had become kin of the prophet muhammad. and so kin must not be captured.
the other woman was um habibah, the daughter of abu sufyan and who was the bitterest enemy of islam. she had left her father and preferred to emigrate with her husband to abyssinia (al-habashah) for the sake of islam. but then her husband died and she became alone in a foreign land. what was the prophet supposed to do in such case? would he leave her without help? of course not! so he sent his proposal to negus (an-najashi), the king of abyssinia , and authorized him to pay her the dowry and to make the marriage contract while he was in madinah. another good reason for this marriage is that marrying the daughter of abu sufyan would make him less hostile to islam due to the new kinship.
therefore, he did not marry any of his wives for lust or worldly desires, but for the good of islam in order to strengthen the ties between the people and the new religion, especially because kinship and blood relations were well respected among the arabs.
in conclusion, by marrying those women, the prophet aimed at unifying the arabs and solving many problems. his wives became the mothers of the believers, teachers of the muslim ummah in family and women’s affairs, and related a lot about his family life even in the most private situations.
everybody has private matters except the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who asked people to relate everything concerning his life in order to teach the muslim ummah and guide them to what is right.
the most important point is that the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) set a good example for muslims in all aspects of life including family life. a muslim man can draw very good lessons from the life of prophet muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and in the way he treated his wives."
the issue of the prophet's multiple marriages is one of the most debated and misunderstood questions regarding the prophet's life. however, scholars maintain that the prophet’s multiple marriages have their own wisdom and purpose ordained by allah. in this he is no different than previous prophets such as ibrahim (abraham), musa (moses), ya`qub (jacob), dawud (david), etc., who all had more than one wife. it is wrong to judge them by the standards of our modern secular values and ideals.
if we approach the marriages of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) based on his mission in light of the milieu he was called upon to fulfill, it is not hard to discover that his marriages were never primarily motivated by sexual considerations. rather, they had much higher purposes in the divine plan. these goals were mainly related to his mission of unifying arabs, and also, not less importantly, intended to set standards for reforming intractable customs that had caused so much misery and destruction for humanity.
the arabs before the rise of islam were a race who fought relentlessly for even the most trivial matters, and no one before the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had ever succeeded in unifying them. the prophet unified them; marriage proved to be one of the means of achieving this unity. again, marriage to a widow was a curse in arabia as well in other major parts of the world such as india. in most of these societies a widow was considered more like a pariah or curse for the entire family. almost all of the women that the prophet married were widows.
a still important factor to consider: the most sexually active phase in anyone’s life is before he reaches the age of fifty. we must remember that in this phase, the prophet had only one wife, khadijah, who was fifteen years older than him. the prophet married her when he was twenty-five and she was forty years. she died at the age of sixty-five. it was only after her death and in madinah, after he had dedicated himself to the task of building a nation, that he married a number of women belonging to different arab clans, most of them were widows. by marrying them he was setting a precedent to reverse the taboo of widow marriage. secondly, he was paying back his due to some of the companions who had perished in battles leaving behind widows with children, just as he was also seeking to unify the arab tribes. such a function of marriage is inconceivable for us today.
having said this, it must, however, further be add that: we need not apologize for the islamic teachings concerning human sexuality. unlike some religions that hold very negative views of sexuality, islam celebrates sexuality within the framework of marriage, and looks at it in a fairly positive light, and the prophet of islam (peace and blessings be upon him) best represents this ideal.
the question of the prophet’s multiple marriage should never pose a problem for the faithful when they heed the statement of allah in the qur’an concerning his marriages:
“(hence) no blame whatever attaches to the prophet for (having done) what god has ordained for him. (indeed, such was) god’s way with those that have passed away afore-time- and remember that god’s will is always destiny absolute!” (al-ahzab: 38)
the insulters of islam said that muhammad (pbuh);
- married his adopted son’s x-wife (his adopted son's name is zaid ibn haretha).
- allowed himself to marry any woman dedicate herself to him (i.e. he is sensual).
refuting this suspicion
1-it is well proved from the biography of muhammad (pbuh) that he has never married before being 25 years , although marrying in an early age was from the conventions of the pre-islamic era for the sake of getting many sons, as they would support and boost the tribe . it is also known that he was a pure and moral person and did not seek for illegal passion, even though there were in the same community many adulteresses making their houses the residence of vice with banners on the top to show the way for the forbidden enjoyment seekers.
in spite of all these circumstances that made deviation and fornication easy in makkah, he was never known except for purity and virtue. allah's eye was saving him from the devil's plot.
once his young mates took him to a place where there was forbidden enjoyment, allah covered him with sleep and he didn't wake up till his mates awaked him to return back home.
2- when the prophet was twenty-five years old he didn’t marry a virgin girl; he married a previously married woman who was fifteen years older than him. she had two sons who were closely twenty years old. she was khadija (may allah be pleased with her) and she was the one who chose to marry the prophet after she knew how pure, chaste and honest he is when he was working for her as a trader.
3-the prophet didn't marry any other woman until his wife khadija died.
he spent his youth with her and all his kids were from her except ibrahim who was from maria the coptic.
4- he lived his life after her death loving her, living with her memories and mentioning her good deeds because they were so special in his life especially for the success of his message.
he said about khadija: "she believed in me when the people didn't and supported me with her money". he was thankfully mentioning her deeds all the time, fulfilling her memory and welcoming her friends, to the extend that made aisha( his wife) feel very jealous about that.
but for his polygyny- like many other prophets- this was for many reasons:
he – may allah's blessings be upon him – was more than fifty years old after the death of his wife khadija; the age in which the fagot of lust or any sense instinct had been extinguished.
and on the other hand, the need to have someone who takes care of you and your kids increases…..
here are the circumstances of these marriages:
the first wife was: sauda daughter of zam'a
after the death of khadija – may allah be pleased with her – the prophet had great sadness in his house and among his companions – may allah be pleased with them. they felt extremely sorry for him as he missed the woman who took great care of him and his kids. in addition to that he lost his uncle abou-taleb; the most one supporting him and facing the polytheists .
and this year was called the year of sorrow.
in such a sad and lonely atmosphere the prophet needed who can take care of him and his children. a muslim woman came to him called khaula daughter of hakim alselmyya and said: oh! allah's prophet, i feel that you are lonely after the death of khadija.
he answered: yes, she was my children's mother and housewife. she said: can i bring you a bride? he said with surprise: but who will be after khadija? she mentioned aisha daughter of abou-bakr. he said: she is still young. she
(khaula) said: engage her now and wait till she became mature.
he (pbuh) said: but who will serve for the house and my daughters? she said: sauda daughter of zam'a. he asked sauda and her father and they accepted and get married in makkah...they married in ramadan, year10 after legation to become the prophets first wife after khadija (may allah be pleased with all of them).
the people of makkah got astonished of that marriage as sauda had neither beauty nor ancestral claims. she can't replace khadija who was very beautiful, with ancestral claims and all people wanted her.
here all insulters and offenders of islam have to know: this is the first wife after khadija. she was one of the believers who immigrated to abyssinia with her husband to find a safe shelter from quraish. the prophet married her after she returned from abyssinia and lost her husband to protect her with her children.
so this marriage was not a result of a lust from the prophet but relieving sake of a muslim woman who was left without a man to take care of her and her sons.
the second wife after khadija was aisha daughter of abou-bakr whom the prophet said about:” he is the best guard over me in his money and companionship and if i would choose a friend i would take him but he is my brother in islam .”
abou-bakr was well known in supporting “al da’wa” with his money; the prophet said about him that his money was the most useful for him.
and aisha’s mother was om-roman daughter of amer al-kenany, she was from the lofty companions. when she died the prophet stepped down into her grave and prayed: "oh allah! you know what have happened to om-roman for you and your prophet". he said about her in the day she died: "if anyone wants to see the gazelle black eyed (hour) had to look to om-roman".
none ever in makkah was surprised of the affinity between the two friends the prophet and abu bakr, as it was very expected. for them it was a very normal marriage, and if there were anything to doubt about it they wouldn’t stop insulting it.
so the marriage between the prophet and a girl younger than him by almost forty years is not an odd thing because it was familiar in that society.
but the orientalists and the insulters of islam accused him of being lustful. they insist on ignoring the fact that these kinds of marriages were familiar at that time in this era; some other examples we can see below:
1- abdulmuttaleb; the grandfather of the prophet (pbuh) married hala the cousin of amena (the mother of the prophet, who married the youngest sons of abdulmuttaleb).
2- omar bin al khattab married the daughter of ali bin abi-taleb while omar was elder than her father.
3- omar bin al khattab offered his daughter hafsa for abou-bakr to marry her, while the age difference between them was the same between the prophet and aisha.
these were the habits of that society when the prophet married aisha. but the orientalists and the insulters of islam saw in this marriage a great event to offend both islam and prophet muhammad (pbuh) – as they say – that the elderly man married the virgin young girl.
the third wife: hafsa daughter of omar the young widow:
she was the wife of hanis bin huthafa al-sahmy, who was a lofty companion that immigrated to abyssinia twice then to madienah. he died after getting wounded in the battle of ohud. his wife hafsa became a widow in a very young age.
this made omar her father very sad as her beauty was extinguishing day after a day. he searched for a groom for his daughter as he was a pitiful father and because this act was normal at that time in this society (to look for a husband for one’s daughter).
such a feeling was the motive for omar to speak to abou-bakr who did not reply on omar’s request. then he went to othman bin affan who refused this offer too.
omar felt very disappointed and went to the prophet who said to omar:” hafsa will get married to the one who is better than othman and othman will marry who is better than hafsa”.
omar knew what the prophet meant by this; that the prophet himself will marry hafsa and othman will marry one of the prophet's daughters. he ran to his daughter very happily and was satisfied that allah had relieved the agony of his daughter.
the fourth wife: om-salamah daughter of zad al rakeb:
she was one of the first immigrants to abyssinia . her husband (abu-salamah) abdullah son of abdulasad almakhzomy was one of the first prophet’s companions who immigrated to madienah.
she is from a generous house. her father was one of the bounteous of quraish who was known as “ zad al rakeb” (the one who supplies travellers with food) because no one ever travelled with him without getting supplied with food for his whole journy.
her dead husband was a companion from bani-makhzom tribe; he was the cousin of the prophet (the son of his father's sister). he immigrated twice to abyssinia then to madienah. they both ( om salamah & her husband) were from the very first people embracing islam. they both immigrated to madienah and witnessed severe events together with their child…may allah be pleased with her…
the fifth wife: zainab daughter of jahsh:
"i have never seen a woman better in performing islam, fearing allah than zainab. she was honest and faithful, loving of her relatives and giving charity; all for the sake of the almighty allah."
that was how aisha (may allah be pleased with her) described her fellow wife zainab daughter of jahsh.
but the insulters of islam said that muhammad (pbuh) admired the wife of his adopted son "zaid son of haretha" and wanted to marry her after he made them got divorced!! this is of course nonsense and this marriage was for causes mentioned below:
doctor haykal replied in his book "the life of muhammad" p.29 saying: it is either the lust of the exposed evangelization or the evangelization for the science, and the old antagonism against islam originated deeply since the crucifixion wars made them write that.
we would like that those insulters pay attention to the reason of this marriage; the prophet married the ex- wife of his son in adoption for wisdom from allah in order to abolish the adoption habit. such habit that counterfeits the facts had bad effects on the lives of people.
this habit had been originated in the pre-islamic society, allah chose his messenger to be the first for ending this habit.
here are some verses from the holy quran to submit an announcement for that verdict opposing these pre-habits and explaining the new legislation for adoption in general :
"muhammad isn't the father of any man among you, but he's the messenger of allah and the seal of the prophets." (alahzab: 40)
"proclaim their real parentage. that will be more equitable in the slight of allah. if you don't know their fathers then they are your brethren and clients." (alahzab: 5)
"and when you say to whom allah has conferred favor and you have conferred favor; keep your wife and fear allah. and you didn't hide in the mind that allah was to bring to light and fear mankind while allah has a better right that you should fear him. so when zayd had performed the formality of divorce from her, we gave her unto her in marriage. therefore there is no sin on believers in respect to wives of their adopted sons, when the latter had performed the necessary formality of the release from them (females). the commandment of allah must be fulfilled." (alahzab: 37)
again we remind here that the marriage of the prophet from zainab was not for a lust or a libido. it was an order from allah to abolish the habit of adoption through a legislation in this society in which adoption is one of its principle habits. it couldn’t be abolished except through the prophet and in his house.
zainab daughter of jahsh understood that and boasted her fellow wives and said: "your families married you to the prophet – may allah's blessings and peace be upon him – while i got married to him by the order of allah from above seven skies".
zayed didn’t divorce zainab beause he knew that the prophet wanted to marry her- as those insulters say- but because their life was not based on a desired treaty which zainab didn't forget. she was the noble well known and beautiful lady but got married to a man who was a slave for some of her family. he was also a slave for the prophet (pbuh) who freed him after that in makkah.
it is normal that he was the slave captivated man in his wife's eyes which was not her dream to marry such a man although he was well known as zaid son of muhammad in this society.
that made them both unhappy; so zaid went complaining to the prophet who ordered him to keep his wife and fear allah. narrated by
