habitual education

foundation of habitual education

the foundation of habitual education is the following hadith by the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) concerning praying. abu dawood and ahmad narrated from ‘amr ibn shu’ayb from his father that his grandfather said: the prophet (pbuh) said: “teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them if they do not pray when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.” (sunnan abu dawood no. 459, musnad ahmed no. 6650, classed as saheeh by al-albaani in al-irwa’ no. 247) repetition that continues for three years is enough to instill praying to become a solid habit in the character of the person. that is clear also in the saying by ibn mas’ud (ra) ([1]): “habituate them to do goodness, as goodness becomes a habit” ([2]). this way, habitual education is not only to affairm acts of worship, it includes manners, ethics and behaviors ([3]).

 

how to apply habitual education

habits are formed starting from a very early age, the six month old baby feels happy when he repeats the things that pleases the people around him. this repetition sets the habit. this formation of habits continues till he reaches seven years old ([4]). the mother should avoid too much pampering since the birth of the child. at the first day of birth, the baby can feel that someone is carrying him when he is carried so he stops crying. if he is always carried by his parents, it will become a habit that he calms down when the mother or anyone else carries him. it always happens when the mother hurries to carry her baby when he cries. also, the mother should be careful not wake up her baby to nurse him because she might upset him and make him used to be breastfed at night, and it would become a habit of waking up at night to be fed even if he is not really that hungry. this habit can continue till he becomes an adult, namely waking up to eat at night. some parents/educators make a big mistake of laughing when their child utter some bad words, such attitude might make him feel proud or happy for what he said. they might even praise the child for doing a bad behavior like kicking or biting his siblings, this encouragement forms this negative habit of the child and enforced it in him.

 

through habitual education, the child gains good manners in two methods (first): fitrah (natural disposition) (second): familiarization and habituation. since monotheism and morality is innate in humans, adaptation and habituation helps to enforce them in the character ([5]).

 

to train the child on the acts of worship and good manners, we have to exert a lot of efforts to achieve repetition and punctuality through the policy of the carrot and stick (namely reward and punishment), setting a role model, follow up and other educational methods ([6]).

kinds and methods of education

the islamic education is an everlasting process that continues through the lifetime of the muslim, because it suits every age and embraces all aspects of character. it has many connected forms that do not contradict but rather complete each other to raise the muslim child. before we go through the subject, we have to remember a golden rule that the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) said in his hadith: “may allah have mercy on he who assists his child for his obedience” ([1]). the meaning is not to order his child to do something that is hard to be fulfilled which might lead to disobedience. the parent/educator should avoid calling the child while he is busy eating, trying to sleep or playing. some thinker and educators ([2]) called for that, and some of them called for keeping the breakable things away from the child ([3]), if parents are careful about it the mistakes of the child will be much less.

 

education has five kinds as follows: education by observation, education by gesture, education by reward, education by punishment and finally habitual education.

 

education by observation

this kind of education is foundational; it was set by the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) through his observation of individuals in the muslim community, namely observations followed by sound guidance. “education by observation means to observe the child and help him to build his religious and moral structure. it is to notice him during his psychological and social preparation. it is also to constantly ask about his physical state and educational attainment.” this means that observation is comprehensive of all the character aspects ([4]).

 

we should be careful not to over observe otherwise it would be a sort of spying. it is wrong to check the child’s room and judge him for making a slight mistake, because he will not trust his parents if they do that. he will feel that he is untrustworthy and he might hide things at his friends’ houses. this kind of observation is not from the guidance of prophet muhammad (pbuh) or how he raised his children and companions.

 

also, we should not also choke the child by pursuing him everywhere and every time. you have to entrust the child, especially the teenager, depend on him and give him some freedom, so that he becomes his own observant, controller and responsible for his actions. he should be independent in handling some matters, away from the constant observation. parents should give him some space and authorize him to do certain tasks.

 

when the parent/educator applies education by observation, he might find mistakes and shortcomings in the child, and then he should direct the child with leniency without making a scene or insulting the child. this is tolerance in applying the educational method and being lenient when the parent is commanding or banning the child from doing a certain thing ([5]). sometimes, the best method of facing any provocative behaviors by the child is ignoring what he is trying to do to annoy his parents. this usually happens when the child is a year and a half to three years old, at this age the child tends to attract the attention of his parents and siblings and provoke them. at such time, the parents should ignore his behaviors because showing disturbance and annoyance of what he is doing might lead him to insist on his mistake ([6]). forbearance is also required because strictness has many education and psychological harms ([7]).

education and development of creative talents

 

the means to enable the parent/educator to achieve this aim:

 

* preparing the child to seek knowledge, this process starts from being just a little baby in the cradle when his parents prompt him/her the declaration of faith. when he is older he should be taught to answer these questions: who is your lord? what is your religion? who is your prophet? then, he should be taught short suras (quranic chapters), the five pillars of islam, sirrah (the biography of prophet muhammad peace be upon him), prophetic teachings, virtues, battles of islam etc. he should learn and see in his parents the love for knowledge, reading and listening to lectures by scholars, honoring books especially religious ones and respecting tools of knowledge such as papers, pens and books. he should be encouraged and introduced to school by visiting it with his older siblings ([1]). the older siblings should avoid criticizing school in front of the young child such as complaining about the many lessons, homework, influence of teachers and getting up early.

 

* school education system, which is obligatory in most countries, is the key to seek knowledge. this is why a good school should be chosen for the child, a school that cares about the scientific and religious education. we should be so careful not to enroll our children in monastic schools, but rather register them in a good school that promotes and teaches children about islam to be good righteous muslims ([2]).

 

matters that should be compensated by the parent/educator

the parent should compensate the shortage in modern schools nowadays through taking certain steps such as:

 

(1) enrolling the child in a ring for memorizing qur’an in the mosque or hiring a teacher for him to teach him tajweed (proper recitation of the qur’an).

 

(2) encouraging him to read books and listen to useful voice and video content and tapes. forming a small library at home of books that suit his age and mentality. it is better to place the library in the living room to be close to the child and all members of the household, it should be nicely furnished and decorated, with beautiful books ([3]) and diverse subjects ([4]).

 

(3) attending places or gatherings of knowledge such as seminars, lectures, speeches and sermons in mosques, culture centers and institutions. this is highly favorable and encouraged in islam. the prophet muhammad (pbuh) said: “never shall a people gather in one of the houses of almighty allah reciting the qur’an and reading it to one another but sakinah (peace) descends upon them, rahmah (mercy) enshrouds them, the angels throng around them and almighty allah remembers them in the assembly of angels.” (sunan ibn majah, bab fadil al-thikr)

 

(4) enrolling him in classes and rings of scholars and people of knowledge in mosques and homes, but the parent should choose the best and most trustworthy among them. he should choose the most knowledgeable and highest in ethics among these scholars and he should be sure of the appropriateness and value of these classes to his child ([5]).

in addition to what was mentioned above, the parent should protect his child against sins and guilt because they blind the prevision ([6]). also, he should try to prevent stress and psychological pressures from negatively affecting his child as much as he can because they hinder education ([7]). the parent should direct his child and instill in him the fact that acquiring knowledge is to work and produce not just to boast and brag about it. knowledge is not only for memorizing or getting a job ([8]). thus, the priority goes to religious sciences and branches then other sciences that the ummah (islamic nation) needs.

 

development of creative talents

 

raising and educating children aim to develop talents and abilities of the child, then preparing him to be a useful productive member in society. educating him should be based on his wish, hobbies and capabilities so that he becomes creative in his profession not just a performer of his job or duty. the talents and abilities of the child can be discovered through playing and other interactive activities. this early discovery helps in directing him to the educational programs that polish his skills and sharpens them. the parent/educator should give the child the tools and materials to encourage him to find out his innate skills ([9]). ibn qayyim al-jawziyya, may allah have mercy on him, called for witnessing the child’s potentiality; if he is a quick learner, smart and has an ability to memorize fast then he should be introduced and directed to science and pursuing knowledge, and if he is good with his hands and likes to learn a certain craft then we should enable him to learn and master this craft ([10]). so, insisting on pushing the child into learning an academic study while he has a tendency to master a craft is a great mistake. we have to give him the freedom, good advice, guidance after accurate discovery of his potentials and physical and mental capacities ([11]).