methods of education
benefiting from environment, genetics and utilizing them in choosing the wife
genetics plays an important role in defining the character of the child before birth ([1]). it shapes the physical and psychological nature of the child by transferring qualities and traits from parents and grandparents to children and next generations. so, the importance of genetics in shaping the character is vital. this is why, choosing the proper wife or husband is essential in terms of health and character to give birth to healthy children. it is clearly illustrated in what the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “choose the right place for your nutfa [sperm] and get married to an equivalent partner” (narrated by ibnmajah). ibn abi shayba, ibn majah, al-hakim, al-diya' al-maqdisi, ibn `adi and others narrate from anas ibn malik (ra) and the mother of the believers aisha (ra) that the prophet (peace be upon him) said: “choose well where your seeds will go.” aisha's narration continues: “marry suitable matches (akfa') and give your daughters away to suitable matches.” one version of the hadith adds: “for women give birth to [boys] the likes of their brothers and [girls] the likes of their sisters.”
there is a saying that discourages marrying from relatives, it is mistakenly known as a hadith, but it is verified and proved that it is a saying by umar ibnul-khattab (ra) ([2]). when umar (ra) saw the weakness of some tribes and found out that they only marry inside their bloodline, namely from their relatives, he told them to marry outsiders who are not related by blood to strengthen their bloodline. some doctors say that endogamy leads to weakness and genetic diseases ([3]). yet, premarital checkups and medical tests can help in finding out whether the man and woman are genetically suitable for marriage.
the parent/educator can rectify inherited negative traits by direction, guidance and righteous upbringing, or at least lessen these negativities ([4]). so, the parent can turn the bad inherited nature into good manners. for example, by training and positive upbringing the parent can turn impudence into boldness and courage for the sake of righteousness.
as for environment, it includes the house, school, street and all the community or society. if we really want the child to be raised according to islam, we have to prepare and provide a proper islamic environment to the child where teachings of islam are applied and followed ([5]). this is why, it is discouraged to live in the disbelievers societies, and we encourage those who have to work or study in countries of disbelievers to live among muslim communities where the teachings of islam are fulfilled and where there is modesty and proper manners. this helps the household to achieve its duty of raising the child in the best manner.
methods of education :
benefiting from modern science and new inventions
modern inventions are part of raising children and educating grownups. the dangers of these inventions are transferring and admitting some habits, traditions and beliefs into our homes that are not approved by islam and the muslim community ([1]). these modern tools affect children greatly because they sit for long hours in front of them or they use them and they receive teachings that might not always agree with our islamic beliefs. unfortunately, children sit and accept these teachings as they are in the mood for receiving and embracing what they see ([2]) on the screens of any modern invention such as personal computers, satellite channels and video games.
television is one of the most important inventions nowadays. some improper content aired on tv channels prompts parents to get rid of tvs or they do not allow their children to watch them. if they don’t have a television at home, they even might not buy one because they do not want children to watch any adult content or programs that might negatively affect them. yet, if the television is in the house and children are so attached to it, then there should be other alternatives for children such as picnics, swimming pools, useful games and bikes if there is a place for them. we can also enroll children in rings of teaching and memorizing qur’an. if television is important for the family and it has to be in the house, then the parent should turn it into an educational method by using it to screen useful video games, provided that parents are firm in setting the time and choosing the valuable tapes and content for children ([3]).
(1) computers: they activate the brain, boost self-confidence, independence and competition. they are characterized by these positive values because children use computers they way they decide or prefer, they do not just receive the content such as the case with televisions and videos ([4]). the usage of computers should be mainly for education and awareness purposes. through computers, children learn to write, store and watch educational competitions and read encyclopedias. they can also learn painting, designing and countless skills. yet, we should be careful not to let children spend most of their time in front of computers to protect their health ([5]) and to avoid wasting our children’s time and energy in games and useless computer activities ([6]).
(2) the video: it more flexible and controllable than television in terms of the content and times of watching. it can be a source of great danger if it is not monitored by parents or if it is overused. parents should choose the right educational video tapes for their children and be firm in setting the suitable time for the child to watch ([7]). this way parents will be sure that their children are not going to see anything abusive on video sets.
(3) the recorder: the most important usage of recorders is to play qur’an tapes to raise children on listening to recitations of the qur’an since a young age. children get affected by what they listen to, if they listen to qur’an they will realize the meaning and memorize a lot of verses because they have very sharp memories. also, playing educational tapes, anasheed (islamic vocal music) and useful stories to children is very important usage of recorders.
(4) educational tools: they are used in the education process and they can help parents and educators in teaching children. they should be aware of the most recent educational tools and methods through magazines, books and institutions ([9]). these tools should be diverse, clear, interesting and suitable to all ages of children ([10]). some of these tools are visual like boards that teach principles, manners and ethics, pictures of holy lands, museums that show the glories and victories of the nations, useful comics, children books and picture books. they are some of the visual tools for education, in addition to video and audio multimedia tools.
methods of education:
the good friend and the responsibility of the parent/educator to direct his child to choose the right friend
having a companion or friend satisfies a social and psychological need in the child. till the age of four, children tend to be in a group where each of them plays separately. after turning four years old, children prefer to play and interact in a group ([1]). when the child gets older, he needs more time to spend with his friends and companions which marks the beginning of the independence phase as he does not need his parents to play with him or entertain him because he has his friends. as for adolescence stage, friendship and good company are some of the most important psychological and social needs that are indispensable to teenagers ([2]).
the most important condition of having a good friendship is the appropriateness of the child’s age with the age of his friends or companions. they should be at the same age or almost the same age to harmonize physically and mentally, because if the child is much younger than his friends he will be an imitator to them and if he is much older than the rest, then he would feel responsible for their safety. this does not mean banning him from playing with older children, but rather not to direct him to much younger or much older groups ([3]). fellowship should be good and positive so the parent/educator has to direct and encourage his child to befriend the best behaved children and to choose to live with good neighbors. he should also enroll his child in halaqat (rings) of memorizing qur’an, summer cultural centers and libraries ([4]). the parent should also strengthen his relationships with the righteous and moral people from friends and relatives ([5]), this way it would be easier for his child to associate with their children who most likely will be good friends.
the parent/educator should not disapprove concerning a certain friend whom his child likes, as the child will get closer to that friend when he sees this attitude from his parent. if this friend is a good one and from a good righteous family then the parent should welcome such friendship, invite this friend to come to his home, visit his family and join them in a picnic or trip ([6]). we should allow them to visit, message, text and talk on the phone. if he is a bad company or negative friend then we should clarify to the child the badness of his friend’s manners and encourage him to make new friendships at the same time, so that he gradually ends this friendship with this negative friend and does not feel lonely when he leaves him as he already has new companions.
some parents make the mistake of banning their children from forming any friendships when they are young, and then when the child grows up and becomes more independent he makes negative friendships because he does not have the skill to choose good friends over the years. this bad situation could have been avoided if the parents trained their child since a very young age to befriend righteous peers.
methods of education:
methods of education vary; they include all influences on the child’s behavior. these influences intermingle and connect to form the character of the child ([1]). some of the methods have been mentioned before, but here we will shed more light on the most important of them:
educating the child through a role model
the child needs to look up to a role model to follow his footsteps. he looks up to parents, siblings, teachers or friends. following the example of a good character turns into a mental process where awareness and the sense of belonging mix with imitation and pride. the child or adult needs to follow a role model all over stages of his life ([2]).
following a positive role model is the best element of reformation, in addition to satisfying the innate need mentioned before ([3]) as the child has a wonderful ability to imitate consciously or unconsciously ([4]). children think that what grownups do is always right, as they think that fathers, mothers, grandparents and older siblings are perfect people.
academics and education scholars advise parents to carefully raise the eldest child whether a boy or a girl, because usually his younger siblings take after him/her and get affected by his character ([5]).
parents should follow islam and be honest in every detail whether big or small so that their child is raised in a complete islamic manner ([6]). if one of them is doing a sin or making a mistake he/she should hide it from their children like smoking, drinking alcohol or abandoning prayers etc.
the older the child gets, the more people he admires and takes as role models like friends, teachers and neighbors. grandfathers and grandmothers are also involved in the education of the child as they are role models to him; they affect his behavior due to the close relationship they have with the child. servants and nannies may also affect the child, their care of the child makes the child imitates them by quoting what they say or doing what they do according to the strength of the relationship between the child and them and how much he interacts and loves them ([7]).
first and foremost, the parent/educator should direct his child to follow the footsteps of the first educator of humanity the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions. he should tell him about their life stories, teach him about the battles and every prophetic teaching implied in these life situations. he should enlighten him about sunnah (prophetic teachings), the high manners of the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) and the manners of the companions and how they listened to each lesson by the prophet (pbuh) ([8]). if the parent/educator teaches the child a certain prophetic behavior or morality, the parent should also follow such behavior to ascertain this good trait in the character of the child, as children look up to their parents and imitate them, so let’s make sure that they see the best in us as much as we can.
it is a major fault when parents admire their child’s imitation of a player, singer or performer even if this imitation is funny, because it will implant loving such a bad example or character in the child without even noticing. it is also wrong to buy clothes and tools that carry the names of infidels, deviants and perverts or dress children like them because it will lead children to follow such negative examples ([9]).
