Part One
Praise be to Allah! We praise Him, seek His assistance, and ask for His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our own selves and the malevolence of our own deeds. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to go astray, none can ever guide. I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone, with no associate. Above, be He, any peer, counterpart, analogue, or parallel. There is nothing like unto Him, and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer. [Ash-Shura: 11] I equally bear witness that Muhammad is the Servant and Messenger of Allah. May Allah send His Salat (Graces, Honours, and Mercy), Peace and Blessing upon him, his family, his Companions, the tabi’în (the contemporaries of the Companions of the Prophet [May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him] after his death), along with all those who righteously follow in their footsteps till Judgement Day!
Now then!
O people! Observe taqwa (fear of divine chastisement for disobedience), have a sense of Allah’s presence in surveillance of your deeds, obey His commands, and do not disobey Him.
O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allâh through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allâh is Ever an All-Watcher over you. [Al-Nissā: 1]
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O Muslims!
The concept of family in Islam is different from other concepts. Indeed, a family is an extended social unit which constitutes the building blocks of the Muslim society. As evidenced by verses from the Holy Qur’ān and the Prophet’s teachings, a family is like a nucleus founded on the basis of benevolence, faith, commitment, and loyalty. It is an integrated whole to which Islam accords a lot of interest through focusing on the way its foundations are laid. Such a concern becomes noticeable from the very moment Islam exhorts its followers to get married and thereby involved in matrimonial bonds. It encourages the marrying couple to make the right choice of the partner beforehand, observe moral standards during the betrothal and wedding period, treat each other well, proper use of the male’s right to guardianship, perform marital duties, mutually observe the rules of intimate companionship, provide advice in case of disagreement, in addition to sensitising partners to the Islamic rulings pertaining to the couple’s separation and divorce.
All this testifies to the fact that Islam focuses on how to build a family on a solid ground and how to protect it so that it can attain its preset goal, including chastity for both partners, instinctual mutual attraction, love, and affection, formation of the Muslim household, mutual assistance to perform pious acts, good education to raise dutiful children who will worship and obey Allah.
The family encompasses a chain of interlaced units which include relatives and matrimonial kith and kin. Additionally, it has a self-supervisory role through monitoring the behaviour of its members and checking their commitment to Islamic moral principles and values. In so doing, the family contributes to bequeathing its members the precepts of good conduct so that they could in turn transmit them to their offspring, just like a good seedling germinating into a leafy tree.
This objective is attainable through guiding the family members to visit one’s relatives and treat each other properly, the indispensability of bringing up one’s children in a physically sound atmosphere, providing them with proper medication and nutrition along with decent accommodation, an atmosphere of love, affection, compassion, and psychological balance for all members regardless of their status in the family. Besides, the parents should commit themselves to providing all children under their guardianship with the necessary and sufficient knowledge about to their religion and its teachings and about whatever might help them behave as good citizens and ideal servants of Allah, the Lord of the Universe, in order to help them lead a decent life in this world.
The more close-knit families are, the more firmly cemented society will be by a spirit of mutual solidarity. Notwithstanding the nature of marriage and the act of building a family as common life requirements, the marital bond extends beyond the herein to reach the hereafter. Based on the natural disposition of human beings, this represents a conclusive definition of the family bond in Islam:
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'Adn (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens), which they shall enter and (also) those who acted righteously from among their fathers, and their wives, and their offspring. [Al-Ra’d: 23]
O Muslims!
Talking about marriage and building families in this time of the year, when engagement and wedding ceremonies are so frequent, is actually endless and may sometimes cause heartache. What is most disappointing about that is the high rate of failure, the preoccupying increase in the number of conjugal disputes, and the increasing ratio of divorce which has reached over one third of the total number of marriages. This is likely to spoil people’s rejoicing at seeing so many weddings take place. This matter needs careful consideration from scholars and intellectuals, and requires more vigilance on the part of experts and decision-makers.
Likewise, educationalists, curriculum designers and education policy-makers are equally invited to cater for such a concern affecting boys and girls alike. In addition, the mass media are to a large extent held morally responsible vis-à-vis the entire society by virtue of the nature of their broadcast programmes, be they positive or negative. It goes without saying that none is infallible or perfect; therefore, self-criticism is a sign of nobility.
In fact, serious revisions are actually needed to assess the degree to which education and the media have monitored the process of building families and contributed to protecting them, fostering in them the spirit of commendable moral values and principles, encouraging them to observe the rules of humane companionship, considerate treatment, and dutifulness towards others, plus training them to perform their duties properly.
These virtues must be reinforced so as to become deeply rooted in people’s consciousness and totally internalised until they turn into tangible behaviour which manifests itself in reality rather than simply remain a set of theoretical routines quite divorced from reality. For instance, the parents do assume a primordial responsibility when responding to a fiancé pledged in marriage to their daughter, for they will be accountable before Allah for the duty with which they have been entrusted.
O Muslims!
Marriage is a divine command, an exhortation by the Prophet, and a tradition observed by the Messengers of Allah throughout history:
And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Sâlihûn (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty... [Al-Nūr: 32]
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...then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess... [Al-Nissā’: 3]
In his command to youth, Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said, “O young men! Whoever amongst you can afford it, let him get married ... (cf. the rest of the hadîth).” In this respect, the criterion of marital happiness and success in choosing one’s partner is explicitly stated in the following directive by the Prophet (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him): “A woman can be married for these four criteria: her wealth, high social status, beauty, and religiosity. Beware! Choose the one whose religious faith is sound, lest you should be losers forever!” [Narrated by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim]. In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) offers this advice to women and their parents: “Whenever someone whose religious faith and moral behaviour pleases you proposes to your female folks, do accept his proposal. Otherwise, there will be fitnah (i.e. afflictions befalling you) and grave corruption.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Mājah]
It is often the case that failing to positively respond to such a noble teaching offered by Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) will virtually lead to numerous problems. In fact, so many people fail to perceive the extremely important significance of what Allah has called “strong covenant.” Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said, “The most significant terms and conditions you are expected to comply with are those connected to the marriage covenant whereby you have gained utmost intimacy with your spouses.” [An agreed upon hadith among scholars of hadith]
For this reason, it is incumbent upon both partners to be disciplined and to take special care of such a covenant. Thus, one of the signs of a successful marriage is to cultivate an ambience of security and affection within the newly built family, especially if we know that Satan did make pledges to induce Adam’s offspring into error through temptation and separation between husband and wife. Therefore, in order for both partners to experience love, compassion and affection, and for marriage to fulfil the functions for which it was originally designed, a set of directives for enjoying a successful marital life have to be reiterated, Allah willing.
So, I now address both partners. Maintain the bond between you and Allah so that Allah keeps you closely attached to each other. Many a misdeed has led to the disruption of happy families and many a sinful act has turned conjugal life into a bitter nightmare!
And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much. [Al-Shūrā: 30]
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Whoever desires to enjoy blissful life in tranquillity should read Allah’s verses (Glory Be to Him):
Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islâmic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision)... [Al-Naḥl: 97]
Emotional harmony between hearts ‒I swear by Allah‒ cannot be gained by buying furniture, clothes, or exchanging sweet words, although all these are needed to achieve such a goal. Emotional harmony and concord is a gift from Allah, and love is among His bounties, as ‒May He be extolled‒ said:
And He has united their (i.e. believers') hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have united their hearts, but Allâh has united them. Certainly He is All-Mighty, All-Wise. [Al-Anfāl: 63]
Exchanging presents is a key to hearts. It fosters love, reinforces affection, and chases out hatred. Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) did advise us to exchange gifts when he said, “Exchange gifts; show mutual affection.” [Reported by Imam Bukhari in his manuscript entitled Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
You partners! Both of you should avoid futile argument and useless dispute. Say and do only what you deem appropriate. Talk gently to each other and never engage in a row, as disagreement breeds deep resentment and frequent disputes kill love and happiness. The old saying goes: “Permanent companionship is the fruit of frequent and harmonious agreement.”
Conjugal life is not a series of emotional scenes or rosy daydreaming. In fact, perfection is beyond everybody’s reach. Parents may have their differences, and this is but a fact of life and human nature. However, a righteous household that is based on taqwa and where both parents realize their rights and obligations would not be negatively affected by such differences, as these would only bolster its integrity and sense of cognizance and awareness. Errors would then be set right and the doors of evil shut.
O servants of Allah!
Mutual respect is one of the most prominent signs of family stability and one of the strongest pillars that ensure its establishment and continuity. The wife must realize the importance of her husband and appreciate his merits and special status at home. By the same token, the husband must treat his wife with sympathy on the grounds of marital rather than business partnership.
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Whatever good deed either of the parents would undertake vis-à-vis the other would indeed bring happiness to himself/herself first before the other partner. A mother once said to her daughter advising her in this regard: “Be a bondmaid to him and he shall be a slave to you.”
In order to ensure household stability, it is mandatory that both parents overlook or ignore from time to time each other’s mistakes and lapses. In fact, family life is based on spontaneity and not on affectation and pretence. There are enough troubles and worries in life to make it rather inevitable for one to act spontaneously and candidly at home. At this point, understanding the facts of life and admitting them would be indispensable.
The various types and forms of oddities propagated via TV movies and series as well as media communication channels, and which enter into the sphere of satanic machination, have left behind a massive legacy of misconceptions on married life and of moral corruption, in addition to inculcating false principles in the minds of their recipients. Thus, the ensuing distortion of verities has started to yield pathways of great evil, in addition to those areas where comparisons and preoccupation with the other are most operative.
As for life and its material concerns, how many a family has been torn apart because of money!! How many a relationship of love and kindness has been destroyed because of money!!
O you husband! It is your duty to spend on your family and ensure for them proper housing so that they don’t fall prey to loss and perdition. You must not forget what the Messenger of Allah (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said in this respect: "A dinar you spend in Allah's way, or to free a slave, or as a charity you give to a needy person, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spend on your family." [Narrated by Muslim]
The Prophet (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) also said: “When a Muslim spends on his family seeking reward for it from Allah, it counts for him as sadaqah (charity).”
It is also your duty to observe sensible management in your spending so that Allah (Almighty) would bestow His grace and blessing on your livelihood. Allah (Almighty) said:
But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift. [Al-Isrā: 26] And let not your hand be tied (like a miser) to your neither neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach (like a spendthrift), so that you become blameworthy and in severe poverty. [Al-Isrā’: 29]
O you wife! Do observe leniency and forbearance and never ask or wish for too many things; for this would bring about much discord and many disputes. Never compare yourself to
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those who are above you financially, lest life would then seem dull and not good enough to you, and thus you would not be as grateful to your husband and to your Lord. The Messenger of Allah (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said: “Look at those who are lower than you (financially) but do not look at those who are higher than you, lest you belittle the favours Allah conferred upon you.” [Narrated by Muslim] Nothing has ever done more harm to man than imitation and flaunt!
All is in dire need of education before and after marriage, as to our commitment vis-à-vis the limits set by Allah (Almighty) in this regard, as to His worship by observing sound companionship and courtesy, good manners, cooperation on the grounds of righteousness and piety, by avoiding egoism and neglect, understanding the legal concept of trusteeship. Verily, the latter embodies the senses of protection, honouring, control, good family upbringing and management and is, in itself, a trust to be accounted for on the Day of Judgement. The Prophet (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) also said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. A man is a guardian of his family; a woman is a guardian in her husband’s house and is responsible for her subjects." [An agreed upon hadith]
When obligations are carried out in good faith happiness is bound to reign and success to prevail. He who undertakes supplication of Allah (Almighty) with persistence and observes true reliance on Him shall never be disappointed and his endeavours shall never go to waste.
O Allah! We implore You to bless us by the Noble Qur'ān and the Sunnah and to make them beneficial to us and to raise our status through the verses and wisdom they contain! This being said, I ask Allah, the Almighty, to forgive you and me and all Muslims of all sins; so ask Him for forgiveness and turn in repentance to Him, for my Lord is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful!
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Part Two
Praise be to Allah (Almighty) Who has created (everything), and then proportioned it; and Who has measured (preordainments for each and everything even to be blessed or wretched); then guided (i.e. showed mankind the right as well as wrong paths, and guided the animals to pasture)]. He [(Allah) creates the pairs, male and female (45) from Nutfah (drops of semen male and female discharges) when it is emitted. [Al-Najm: 45-46]. I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah Alone, Who has no associate. I also bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger. May Allah send His Salat (Graces, Honours and Mercy), Peace and Blessing on him and all his family and Companions!
Now then,
Some marriage ceremonies have been marred with outrageous spending, exaggerations, and various forms of evil and infractions. On such occasions, the financial spending incurred by excessive flaunting has reached exponential levels beyond the ordinary dowry costs. The organization and management of such parties have been entrusted to women and to the foolish. What blessing is expected from a marriage that is inaugurated with sinful deeds against the Lord of the Earth and the Heavens, Who is the only One with the power to grant success?!
The free mixing between men and women other than the mahārim1, the hiring of male and female singers, along with their forbidden musical instruments, the missing of prayer, the indulgence of women in wearing wedding apparels exposing parts of their bodies, and the taking of photographs, both openly and secretly, are all considered acts of infidelity, disobedience, and rejection vis-à-vis Allah’s graces and blessings, not to mention the extravagance and flaunt in the preparation of such ceremonies.
Why all of this?! Can’t joyful occasions be celebrated without disobedience of Allah (Almighty)?! There is no doubt then that in the event of future failure those concerned will pertinently realize the cause of their plight. Indulgence in disobedience and sinning is enough to cause states to perish and kingdoms to shake, let alone small homes?!
Therefore, observe taqwa and advise each other to do ma'rūf (good deeds). Commit yourselves to righteousness and do not be deceived by the great number of violators; for “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.”2 The Prophet (May 1 In Islamic sharia legal terminology, a maḥram (plural: maḥārim) is an unmarriageable kin with whom sexual intercourse would be considered incestuous, a punishable taboo. Being maḥram is a symmetric condition. If A is maḥram to B, B is definitely maḥram to A. A maḥram is anyone a Muslim is not allowed to marry.
2 This statement is borrowed from a hadith.
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Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said: “Part of the blessing bestowed on a woman is facilitating her engagement and her marriage.” [Reported by Imam Ahmad, Ibn habbān and Al-Ḥākim] Elsewhere, in Imam Ahmad’s words: “The most blessed among women are the least requiring in terms of expenditure.”
O Allah! Grant success to those married and those seeking to get married! O Allah! Grant success to those married and those seeking to get married! O Allah! Grant them happiness, bless their marriages and their lives, gather them on the grounds of goodness, and bestow on them righteous offspring!
O Allah! Grant success to young Muslim men and women, protect them against lewdness and fitnas, and make them immune to such evils through faith and chastity!
O Allah! Send Your Salat (Graces, Honours, Mercy), Peace and Blessing upon Your Servant and Messenger, Muhammad, on his good and pure family, on his sincere and audacious Companions, and on those who follow them in righteousness until the Day of Judgement!
O Allah! Grant glory to Islam and Muslims! O Allah! Grant glory to Islam and Muslims and fail tyrants, infidels and corruptors!
O Allah! Foreordain for this nation (the nation of Islam) a matter (an affair) of rationality (guidance) where the people of piety are honoured and those of sins are guided, and where al-ma’rūf (promotion of good deeds) is promoted and al-munkar (promulgation of evil deeds) is prevented! O Lord of the worlds!
O Allah! Make preoccupied with their own evil those who wish to harm Islam and Muslims! Turn their plots and their cunning against them and make that the cause of their own destruction! O Lord of the worlds!
O Allah! Grant victory to the Mujahideen in Your cause in Palestine and wherever they may be, O Lord of the worlds! O Allah! Lift the siege around them, improve their conditions, and suppress their enemy!
O Allah! Liberate Al-Aqsā Mosque from the oppressors’ injustice and the occupiers’ aggression!
O Allah! Have mercy on our brothers and sisters in Syria, Burma, Central Africa, and everywhere! O Allah! Lift their distress and grant them speedy relief! O Allah! Have mercy on them, for they are defenceless! O Allah! Mend their breakage and take charge of their case! You, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate!
O Allah! Spare their blood, reassure them, preserve their dignity and honour, feed the hungry among them, strengthen their stamina, bring them closer together, and grant them power and victory over their oppressors! O Allah! Set right their conditions, unite them around
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righteousness and protect them against the evil doers among them! O Allah! Suppress their enemies! O Allah! Defeat the oppressors and those who side with them!
O Allah! Grant victory to Your Religion, Your Book, the Sunnah of Your Prophet and to Your believing servants!
O Allah! Guide our leader, the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, to do whatever you love and accept! O Allah! Guide him to piety and righteousness! O Allah! Grant him, his Crown Prince, his Deputy Crown Prince, his brothers and assistants success to do what is good for Islam and Muslims!
O Allah! Set right anyone entrusted with Muslim’s affairs, and fill his heart with fear of you, privately and publicly!
O Allah! Grant success to all the leaders of Muslims in order to govern by Your Sharia and follow the Sunnah of Your Prophet (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him)! O Allah! Make them a blessing on Your true servants!
O Allah! Make safe and prosperous our country and all Muslim countries around the world! Protect us against the evil of wrongdoers, the maliciousness of the lecherous, and the evil of those plotting to carry it out by day or night!
Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire! [Al-Baqarah: 201]
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and our transgressions (in keeping our duties to You), establish our feet firmly, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk. [Ᾱl Imrān: 147]
O Allah! Forgive our sins, cover our flaws, make easy our affairs and fulfil our wishes in what pleases You!
O Allah! Forgive our sins, those of our parents, our grandparents, our wives and children! You are indeed All-Hearing!
O Allah! Help us reach Ramadan! O Allah! Help us reach Ramadan and guide us to do good throughout it and do accept our good deeds! O You, the Ever-Living, the Eternal Guardian, the Lord of Majesty and Bounty!
O Lord! Accept from us, You are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing! Accept our repentance; You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful!
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Glorified be Your Lord, the Lord of Honour and Power! You are free from what they attribute unto You! May peace be upon all the Messengers! And all praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds!
