Furthermore, drugs are one of the reasons behind family disintegration. This is a dangerous disease that has affected a lot of the youth nowadays. Our enemies have spread drugs and on account of our youth not being brought up Islamically, this explosion of drugs is but a natural result.
Also, unemployment forces young men to deal with drugs to make money and so do their family problems drive them to use it. Fathers do not care who their sons befriend, as well, and in this way, they might make friends with evil people who introduce drugs to them whilst the parent is heedless.
Family breakdown also results from lack of compassion and benevolence in the house, on the parents' part. The father returns from work, eats, drinks, sleeps and then wakes up and spends the night with his friends; meanwhile, the mother is busy with the new fashions surfacing in the market and with visiting her friends, and has no time to attend to her children, who are being looked after by a maid.
As regards working mothers, who become exhausted due to their nature of possessing weak bodies, work problems affect them physically and emotionally; therefore, they do not have the time or mind to check on their children before going to work.
Some mothers admit that they have gotten fed up with their children and husbands. Furthermore, the father claims that he provides them with the best food, drinks, toys, computers as well as school necessities, and that they lack nothing. What a poor man, though! In truth, they lack something which is very essential – love and compassion and a good model. These men are only spending to suffice their children’s bodies, whereas they need them to sit and play with them.
Listen to what Allah Says regarding Prophet Yahyaa (i.e., John ) (what means): {…And We gave him judgment while yet a boy.} [Quran 19:12] Hence, Allah bestowed on him prophethood, knowledge and, as Allah Says (what means): {…And affection from Us and purity, and he was fearing of Allah.} [Quran 19:13] It is indeed a bounty from Allah that He made him, peace be upon him, an affectionate, merciful, kind and caring person.
Allah, then, made this compassion and mercy give rise to something great, as He Says, referring to him what means: {And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.} [Quran 19:14]
Another of the causes of the collapse of the family is the use of magic, for people take revenge from each other by means of it, which has resulted in Islamic monotheism fading away from people’s practices. Magic is certainly a reality and it does have effects on people. Allah Says (what means): {…And [yet] they learn from them (i.e., the two angels as a test for people) that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife. But do not harm anyone through it except by permission of Allah….} [Quran 2:102]
Surely, no harm can be done except with the leave of Allah and unless He has already decreed that it would cause detriment. Allah continues to Say (what means): {…And they [i.e. people] learn what harm them and do not benefit them. But they [i.e. the Children of Israel] certainly knew that whoever purchased it [i.e. magic] would not have in the Hereafter any share….} [Quran 2:102]
Accordingly, he who deals with magic will have no share in the Hereafter, meaning no reward. The penal law for the magician is to be killed because magicians are really disbelievers. Allah concludes this verse, Saying (what means): {…And wretched is that for which they sold themselves, if they only knew.}
Nonetheless, in the present day, people are confused and unaware of the reality of magic; they believe that a magician can kill them and do not rely on Allah, Who Says (what means): {And whoever relies upon Allah — then He is sufficient for him….} [Quran 65:3]
Putting one's faith in Allah stops the effect of magic, whilst weak souls who are not obedient and whose conviction is wavering will definitely be affected. It is they who do not maintain their daily remembrance of Allah and the designated Thikr (i.e., remembrance of Allah) and supplications at bed time or after prayers, such as the recitation of Chapters Al-Falaq, An-Naas and Al-Ikhlaas three times after the prayer and before going to bed, for these chapters are the best cure for magic and for preventing it.
Additionally, one needs to be careful concerning who enters the house and allow only righteous people to come inside, since otherwise, evil people who might place magic in the house would enter and then people will have to start looking for someone to cure them from the spell.
The Prophet was affected by magic which was done over him by a Jewish magician; what cured him from it? It was by means of these three aforementioned chapters and with the permission of Allah, together with the blessings of the Quran, which has a great effect on the souls and heals, provided that people believe in its effect.
Video and television are also amongst the causes of the disintegration of the family, for these two devices disseminate poison and immorality. Some people think that it brings the family closer when they gather to watch a movie on video or television, although the fact is that they do not talk to each other whilst the film is playing and if one does try to make a comment, everybody silences him. In some houses, there is a television set in each room, plus the satellite dish that you would spot everywhere.
Statistics have proved that television deprives a person from enjoying his social life and from reading; it helps in isolating him from others and reduces the level of understanding between spouses besides distracting students from their studies. It has also been confirmed that kids do not spend the required amount of time with the rest of the family after the television has crossed the doorstep of people’s homes. This is in addition to the types of corruption they are exposed to because of it.
Continuing the talk about the reasons of breakdown, one of which is allowing the girls to talk on the phone with just about anybody. A young man might talk to her, praising and flirting with her, making her feel like she is floating in the sky; as soon as she returns from school, she sits next to the phone awaiting his call to hear more of his flirting. Afterwards, he falsely promises to marry her, requests to meet her and then, this leads to her committing adultery; the disaster takes places, whereby she loses the most precious thing she possesses, then he walks out on her and what happens? When people come to ask for her hand, what can she say? This is all due to the lack of supervision and the wrong way of upbringing by the parents.
If we do not return to Allah with sincerity, more collapse will occur and we will fall to the same level as the disbelievers' societies, where elders are humiliated and placed in foster homes, and daughters become rebellious and go out on the streets; thereupon, we will be sitting, watching what happens helplessly.
Are we wise enough to truly return to Allah and put an end to the state our families have reached?
You will be held accountable concerning what you are entrusted with, for these children are a trust which Allah has placed in your hands and will ask you about on a Day when wealth and offspring will be futile and only he who meets Allah with a sound heart will benefit from his heart that is full of faith.
Each person will be concerned only about his own self and people will pay no attention to their fathers, mothers, brothers or sisters. This will be the Day of Judgment, the great, horrible Day which is fifty thousand years long. We honestly need to keep the remembrance of this day alive in our hearts and minds and start rectifying our situation.
Neglecting one's family and failing to give them enough to suffice their needs results in them leaving their homes in order to find a source of income, and in many cases it leads to women committing adultery; there are many real life stories proving this, and in these cases it is not sexual desire that pushed the woman to indulge in this immorality as much as her need for money.
‘Aa’ishah narrated that Hind bint ‘Utbah came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of Allah! My husband Abu Sufyaan is tight fisted and does not give me and my son what suffices us, so I take from his wealth without him knowing. Is this permissible?’ He replied: “Take from his wealth what suffices you and your son without exaggeration.”
Allah the All-Knowing, knows that if there is insufficient money in a home, it could lead to something evil, so He allows the woman to take from her husband’s wealth secretly without his permission if he is stingy and does not provide them with what suffices them; but at the same time, Islam does not oppress the husband, hence the condition was set that she takes without exaggeration and not whenever it takes her fancy.
Disclosing the wife’s secrets is another cause of family disintegration. Some people go as far as to reveal the very intimate secrets of their wives, which not only causes this problem to occur, but also reflects malicious manners and a lack of protective jealousy.
The Prophet once asked his companions: “Is there any of you who, when wishing to have sexual intercourse with his wife, goes into the room, closes the door, and covers himself?” They replied, "Yes." Then he asked: “Is there any of you who later sits with his friends and informs them about what went on between him and his wife?” His companions remained silent. After this he turned towards his female companions and asked the same questions, and so one of them stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allah! I swear by Allah that both the men and the women disclose what takes place in their bedrooms to others." Upon hearing this, the Prophet said: “The similitude of those who do this is like that of a male and female devil, who meet on the road and have sexual intercourse publicly, while others are watching them.”
Undutifulness to parents is another reason behind family disintegration, because it either causes the child to be expelled from the house, which breaks the family bond, or, the son continues to oppress one or both of his parents, causing them to live a humiliated and oppressed existence in their own home, which deprives them from living a normal life. This is a common thing in families nowadays; families suffer grief and anxiety due to the undutifulness of their children, who may eventually expel their parents from their home.
A real life story and a good example of what we are saying is: …A son kicked his parents out from their home which they owned, but Allah never neglects or overlooks anything - This son’s own daughters began beating him when he grew old, because he was trying to sexually assault them.
Bad manners, which lead to immorality and wife beating - these are more reasons behind the disintegration of families. A man beats his wife and mother, curses his daughter and supplicates that she becomes sick with cancer … he neither prays nor fasts … he enters his home shouting and cursing … he blames his wife for having delivered a daughter for him, which made her worthless in his sight … he hits his daughter viciously with an electric wire … this is a true story … this is a standard result of shunning the path of Allah … the marks remained on his daughter’s back, even when she got married.
Again, this is normal for people who are not upon the straight path … when religion is removed from people’s hearts and souls they become worse than beasts, because it is only Islam that makes people behave correctly and maintain noble manners.
Sinning is another factor behind this phenomenon; a man gambles and travels for the sole purpose of gambling; when he receives his salary he squanders it in less than ten days because of his gambling … he does not worry about his wife or children … he does not attend to their needs.
Many family problems result from alcohol consumption, which is one of the major great sins … when a person is drunk he has no control over his brain - and families easily break up after this loss of control.
Many families face problems due to the shortage of money, as well as the great attachment that they have to this life; this usually leads to people becoming stingy and selfish.
A western newspaper published an article regarding a couple who had to make a choice between keeping their car or their newborn baby girl as they could not financially afford to keep both. So, they chose to keep the car and handed the baby over to a foster home, when the father was asked about this, he commented: “She might find a family who would take her in for adoption and give her a better life than what we can offer her.” The mother also assured that they made the right choice! Many parents sell their children in the west … What type of family bond do these people have? Where is mercy? Where is the love? Where is the compassion?
Greed and fighting over money adversely affects the family, and that is why you find men who wish to confiscate their wife’s salary, and fathers who deprive their daughters from marriage due to them wishing to continue receiving her salary; others convince their sisters to loan them money which they do not intend to repay while the Prophet ruled doing this as one of the great major sins - to borrow money with the intention of not returning it … this is how money becomes a cause of family disintegration.
Undoubtedly, another of the major causes of this phenomenon is the possession of drivers and maids in the home, especially when the maid is not a Muslim, people surrender to them their valuables such as the car and the house, but the most important thing they surrender are their children, which they give them to look after.
These people represent a great danger, but people do not take lessons from what afflicts others, the maids seduce the father and young men of the house, and likewise the drivers seduce the females. With such a setup disasters are likely to happen - especially if the household is not brought up Islamically.
Fear Allah with regards to your families … fear Allah in your households … beware of the wrath of Allah which He sends upon the oppressors. We are not only responsible for our own homes, but rather we have to advise others.
It is true that we have many good families who mix with some of these bad ones, so they should advise and instruct them, because otherwise we may be affected by their evil if we are not working on correcting it, since we do not live in isolation from one another. We must enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, or our families may eventually become like those in the West.
