After the party

Dr. Ahmad and his family returned home after a long party in the house of a family friend on the occasion of the children's success.

Exhausted, the parents entered their room to sleep.

Not wanting to sleep, both Hasan and Husayn, young twins, sat in their room and played and laughed in a disturbingly loud voice which annoyed their parents.

The mother got up quickly and opened the door of the children's room so suddenly that the children were scared and their eyes widened in fear. They (addressing their mother) said, "Aren't you asleep?" She said, "We could not sleep because of the loud noise you are making. Have you never heard about the Skinned-Leg Monster that eats the children who don't sleep after twelve o'clock? Sleep! Sleep quickly!" The mother went out after she had closed the door and switched off the light and returned to her room to resume her happy dreams, while both Hasan and Husayn wrapped themselves in their quilt, with each of them imagining in the darkness the fictitious Skinned-Leg Monster.

In the garden

Dr. Ahmad's family went on Friday to the children's park so that the children would enjoy themselves and play football in their summer holiday.

Both Hasan and Husayn went to play away from the sight of their parents, who sat and started to talk. All of a sudden, Hasan and Husayn returned hurriedly towards their parents, crying and weeping. The mother ran towards them anxiously in quick steps and stretched her arms towards them and said, "What happened? Why are you weeping?" Both children pointed to a young child who was standing away, and he had their ball. The mother said to them kindly, "Did he hit you? Has he taken the ball from you? He seems stronger (than you)."

The mother took hold of her children’s hands and went to the young child who was careless about the weeping of Hasan and Husayn. The mother said to him, "Why did you take the ball from them? Is it because you are stronger than them and they are still young?"

The child threw the ball and went away to resume his play, without even caring to apologize to them.

Risky sport

When Hasan and Husayn turned ten years of age, they liked to take skiing lessons, just like their fellows of the same age. However, their father was afraid they would be hurt, and said to them, "No, my children. This is a risky sport. Do you remember the injury I had when I tried to learn skiing? My knee was wounded and I spent a long time using a crutch, after nearly a week in hospital. I think you should rather wait until you have grown stronger and are at least twenty years old."

In the mosque

Hasan and Husayn's mother went to the mosque to attend a religious lecture, which was about the courage of the children of the Companions. She was attracted by that title, and went to listen. The female teacher started to talk about bravery and relate examples of the courage of the brave children of the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. She said, "During the Battle of Uhud, a mother gave the sword to her child, and he was not strong enough to carry it. She straightened it on his forearm with a braided strap and brought him to the Prophet  and said, "O Messenger of Allah! This is my son to fight on your behalf." He was injured and fell down. He was brought to the Prophet  who said to him: "O son! Perhaps you were scared!" The child said, "No, Messenger of Allah."

The mother of Hasan and Husayn was paying attention to the teacher who went on relating further examples.

It was narrated on the authority of Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqaas, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said,

"I saw my brother ‘Umayr ibn Abi Waqqaas trying to hide on the Day of Badr before being shown to the Messenger of Allah  (to choose who would take part in the battle), thereupon I asked him, 'What is the matter with you my brother?' He said, 'I fear that the Messenger of Allah  would see me and return me because I am young, and I want to take part in the battle, perhaps Allah The Almighty would endow me with martyrdom.' He then was shown to the Messenger of Allah  who returned him because he was young. He went on weeping so much that the Messenger of Allah  permitted him (to take part in the battle)."

The mother of Hasan and Husayn was increasingly surprised when she listened to the story of the two children who killed Abu Jahl (in the Battle of Badr). It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdul-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said,

“While I was standing in the row on the Day (of the Battle) of Badr, I looked to my right and my left and saw two young Ansaari boys. One of them called my attention saying, ‘O uncle! Do you know Abu Jahl?’ I said, ‘Yes. What do you want from him, O nephew?’ He said, ‘I was informed that he abuses the Messenger of Allah . By Him in whose hand my life is, if I should see him, then my body will not leave his body till either of us meets his fate.’ I was astonished at that talk. Then the other boy called my attention saying the same as the other. After a while I saw Abu Jahl walking among the people. I said (to the boys), ‘Look! This is the man you asked me about.’ So, both of them attacked him with their swords and struck him until he died and then they returned to the Messenger of Allah  to inform him about that. The Messenger of Allah  asked:‘Which of you killed him?’Both of them said, ‘I killed him.’ The Messenger of Allah  asked: ‘Have you cleaned your swords?’ They said, ‘No.’ He then looked at their swords and said: ‘No doubt, you both killed him.’" The two boys were Mu‘aath ibn ‘Afraa’ and Mu‘aath ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-Jamooh, may Allah be pleased with them.

A Dialogue with a Teacher

After the lesson was over, the mother of Hasan and Husayn went quickly to the teacher and thanked her for that knowledge, and asked her to give her some time to speak with her, and she welcomed the request.

The mother sat with the teacher and started to complain to her of the state of her children, Hasan and Husayn. She said,

"They never depend on themselves. I always help them in eating, drinking, studying and even bathing. Hasan feels afraid of going to the street to buy our household needs, and Husayn feels afraid to cross the street alone, and asks a passer-by to hold his hand (and help him do so). Hasan feels afraid to sleep in the dark and asks me not to switch off the light. Both fear the sea, and cannot swim without the help of a swimming float even though they have grown up. Hasan always feels afraid of the ball, and puts his hand in front of his face for fear that it would hit him in the face, and Husayn feels afraid of the train. Hasan feels afraid of his teacher in the class and is always absent from school for that reason. Both feel afraid of dogs, cats and insects. They only ever ride a tricycle.

When I heard you relating to us how brave the children of the Companions were, and, at the same time, looked at my children, I felt that they are cowardly and are not brave. What is the reason for that? What is the way to treat it?"

The teacher said, "No doubt, fear is innate in every human being, and it is beneficial to protect him from risks. However, this normal fear differs from the phobia your children are suffering from, which goes back to many things including:To frighten the child to force him to do a particular thing, such as frightening him with a ghoul, the Skinned-Leg Monster, the room of rats, the ‘Ifreet, being slaughtered with a knife, dogs, cats, the police, the teacher, the doctor, their father, the darkness, an injection, thieves, and so on.The fear entertained by the old: if an elderly person, say a father or a mother, demonstrates his fear of a particular thing in front of the children, of a surety, this will be reflected on the child himself.Non-educational books and magazines which relate imaginary stories about magic, Jinn, monsters, and so on. One of the books, which are a part of the elementary school curriculum, contains the following paragraph: "All of a sudden, he found in front of him a horrible cat, which scared the child  when he heard it mewing with a fearful voice. The cat asked him, "How dare you come to this place? Do you not know that I have the power to tear your body into pieces with only a single strike of my paw?" We may also mention stories like the Hop o' My Thumb, ‘Alaa’ Ad-Deen (Aladin) and the Wonderful Lamp and so on.Fear of death.Lacking self-confidence in the sense that he feels afraid of passing an exam or meeting visitors, especially if there are those who ridicule or laugh at him.The father's domination over all the movements of the child, without giving him the freedom to think, which creates in him the fear of making a mistake.Family problems like disputes between the father and mother.Beating the child gives him the impression of fear and lack of security.Over-indulging, and pampering children and excessive anxiety about them.Bringing up the child on seclusion, introversion and seeking protection within the walls of the house.


The treatment is as follows:


First of all, those causes should be avoided. Then:


1-    If a child meets, by chance, anything that frightens him, do not help him forget it, since forgetfulness always suppresses the fear in the soul, and they soon become a source of anxiety and psychological disorder. However, it is necessary to talk with the child and clarify the matter to him. If he fears thieves and thinks the sound of wind when hitting the windows and doors at night to be thieves, you should say to him, "It is just the wind that causes the windows and doors to produce those sounds, since they are old and loose", assuring him that those sounds are also heard in the day time. In this way, his fear will disappear.


2-    To remain calm and balanced and refrain from fear, terror and apprehension in any situation in general, and particularly when the child is ill.


3-    To use constructive fear in the development and stimulation of the child's personality, such as to frighten him of the anger of Allah The Almighty, and of Hell-fire.


4-    To keep the child far from the fear stimuli, like imaginary stories, occasions of death and superstitions.


5-    To deal with the errant child as a child who can hardly distinguish what is right from what is wrong. Thus, we should guide him to the right to feel secure without punishment, ridicule or mockery, and even defend him when criticized or attacked by others.