·Using comprehensible words: One should not address people with words and phrases that are beyond their comprehension, or use a difficult language. He must adopt simple wording and terminology, even when addressing certain specialities or particular fields of knowledge. This is so that the common people would understand. ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah  said: “Talk to people with speech that they can understand. Do you wish that people belie Allah and His messenger?” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

·Speaking slowly: The objective of addressing people is to convey certain points or ideas. Therefore, one must talk slowly enough for them to be able to grasp and understand what is being conveyed. Once, while ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was praying, she overheard a man hurriedly narrating a statement of the Messenger of Allah . Afterwards, she, may Allah be pleased with her, remarked: “Had I finished (praying) before he left, I would have rebuked him for his haste. The Prophet  would never speak quickly when addressing people. He would speak slowly and in a manner that would enable anyone listening to understand what he was saying.” [End of quote]

· Repeating important statements: Some words or phrases may prove difficult to grasp or understand the first time, and it is therefore recommended to repeat them, in order to facilitate comprehension. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: “Whenever the Prophet  said something, he would repeat his words thrice, so that the meanings would be fully understood.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim] `Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, reported: “The speech of the Messenger of Allah  was so clear that all those who listened to it would easily understand.”


[Abu Daawood] The objective of repeating one's words is to make sure that people understand the words; however, if this objective is met the first time, then there is no need for repetition. The maximum number of repetitions should be three, as it would become monotonous if it exceeded this number.

·Facing the speaker: Facing the speaker reflects attentiveness to his words. A related issue is that the Imaam who is straightening the rows before starting the prayer needs to do so whilst facing the congregation, as per the practice of the Prophet  and not whilst having his back to them.

·Shunning obscene words: `Abdullaah Ibn `Amr Ibn Al-`Aas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, stated: “The Messenger of Allah  never used foul speech, nor did he like to listen to it.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim] If a bad word was used in his presence, he  would turn his face away to reflect his objection to it. Abu Sa`eed Al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: “The Messenger of Allah  was even more bashful than a virgin behind her veil. Whenever he saw something he disliked, we could perceive it on his face.” [Al- Bukhari & Muslim]

·Allowing elders to initiate: When people gather for a meeting, the elders in the gathering should be given precedence, if they possess the required knowledge, to address people. The honouring of elders is of the elementary manners that Islam ordains. Sahl Ibn Abu Hathmah Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that: “`Abdullaah Ibn Sahl and Muhaysah Ibn Mas`ood, may Allah be pleased with them, went to Khaybar during the truce period (after its conquest). They then separated to perform their duties. When Muhaysah, may Allah be pleased with him, returned to `Abdullaah Ibn Sahl, he found him murdered and drenched in his own blood. So he buried him and returned to Al-Madeenah. Then, `Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn Sahl, along with  Huwayyisah and Muhaysah, who were the two sons of Mas`ood, went to the Messenger of Allah  and informed him about the case of their (murdered) friend. `Abdur-Rahmaan, who was the youngest of them, initiated and began talking, but the Messenger of Allah  interrupted him and said: “Let those older than you speak first.” So he stopped talking and the elder spoke about the case " [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

·Giving the floor to the most knowledgeable: If the need arises in a gathering for one to comment on a matter, then the most knowledgeable person present should be invited to address the issue, as he would be the most capable of convincing others, based on the knowledge Allah has blessed him with. An example of this is when Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, was given priority to speak in the presence of ‘Umar and Abu ‘Ubaydah, may Allah be pleased with them, regarding the selection of a caliph after the death of the Prophet .

Giving an introduction before the main point: This is especially important when one is addressing a scholar, or any other person of knowledge.

Not interrupting the speaker: If a person enters into the presence of people whilst they are talking, then he should not interrupt them. Once Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, was advising a group of men who taught others; he said: “Address people once or twice every Friday, and the most you should address them is thrice a week… If you happen to arrive whilst people are talking, do not interrupt their speech. When they permit you to speak, address them.”Beginning by greeting people before addressing them: The Prophet  said: “If a person begins talking to you before greeting you, then do not reply to him until he greets you.” [Abu Nu’aym]

 Refraining from lying, even in jest:  It is impermissible for a person to lie, even in jest: The Prophet  said: “Woe to the one who talks to people and lies in order to make them laugh! Woe to him! Woe to him!” [Abu Daawood & 

Avoiding talking to a person to the exclusion of a third: Ibn `Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, reported that the Messenger of Allah  said: “When there are three people present, two of them should not hold a secret counsel to the exclusion of the third, until more come to the gathering, lest this saddens him (i.e. the third person).” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim] This is because the third person may think that he is the subject of discussion, or that he is being conspired against. Two people speaking privately in a group containing more than three people is not included in this prohibition, as the prohibiting factor no longer applies. However, if there are ten people in the gathering and nine of them speak secretly to the exclusion of the tenth, then the prohibition applies. Likewise, if two people speak a different language than the third in a group of three, then the prohibition also applies.


Not revealing the secrets of the gathering: If the person to whom one is speaking to clearly requests him not to reveal what took place in the gathering, or even hints at this, then it is binding upon him to honor the request, unless doing so entails harm being afflicted upon other Muslims, in which case one must inform the concerned people. The Messenger of Allah  said: “If a person speaks to another some words, then he turns around, then it is a trust.” [Abu Daawood & At-Tirmithi] Meaning, if the person who speaks first turns left and right to make sure that nobody can hear him, then this indicates that he does not want anybody else to hear. Therefore, the one who is spoken to is not allowed to reveal what went on between the two of them, or else it is considered a betrayal. Not abandoning or boycotting a fellow Muslim for more than three days: The limit of abandoning or deserting a fellow Muslim and therefore not speaking to him can only be for a maximum of three days, as set for us by the Prophet ; after that, one is Islamically obliged to talk to him.

·Deserting an innovator or sinner for a sought benefit: Refusing to talk to a sinner or innovator can at times be beneficial, and in such a case it is permissible to do so. A close relative of `Abdullaah Ibn Mughaffal, may Allah be pleased with him, was once flicking pebbles at animals using his index finger and thumb. `Abdullaah, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah  has forbidden this, saying that it does not kill the game.” The man ignored him and repeated the act, so `Abdullaah, may Allah be pleased with him, said to him: "I told you that the Prophet  has prohibited this, but you persisted. I shall never talk to you again."

·The ruling on talking to a person in prayer: This is permissible if the need arises. Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, once saw the Messenger of Allah  praying two Rak’ahs after the ‘Asr prayer, so she sent a female slave and told her to stand next to him in order to remind him that he had forbidden praying after the ‘Asr prayer (and before Maghrib). When she did so, he  waved his hand at her, indicating that she should leave him be. After he  finished praying, he informed her that he had been caught up in explaining certain matters of the religion to another Muslim and therefore could not pray the optional prayer after Thuhr, so he was making up for it.Talking to one's wife in a pleasant manner: This is one of the means to establish harmony between the man and his wife, as well as to increase love and strengthen marital bonds.

·A woman should not discuss her husband’s affairs except with his permission: This is based on a narration in which the Prophet  forbade this.

·It is not recommended to talk after the ‘Ishaa’ Prayer: The exception to this is if one has guests in his house, or if he is in a circle of knowledge. Abu Barzah, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah  disliked sleeping before the `Ishaa' (night) prayer and indulging in conversation after it.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

·Not to talk unnecessarily: If one knows that speaking will bring a benefit or remove an evil, then he should do so. Otherwise, it is best that he remains silent. When he does speak, he should choose the appropriate words. Also, he should never mix serious topics with jokes, and avoid speaking at length.

· Avoiding ostentation: If one is listening to a story that he is familiar with, he should not interrupt, or show that he knows about it so that others would realise this. Also, if one is addressing the masses, he should avoid using ancient language, so as to be understood.

·Refraining from backbiting: When addressing people, one should not mention other groups or nations in a negative way, because people usually have no respect for people who do this. Moreover, the speaker should not talk about himself and the knowledge he possesses unless absolutely necessary Listening attentively: This is a reflection of respect for the speaker. One should also be tolerant during arguments and give the chance to others to speak. The speaker should alter his focus on different people in the gathering so that he looks at them all equally. Also, he should never get excited or angry during his speech.

The following are some etiquettes regarding criticism:

·It is recommended to use a pleasant introduction when criticising the speaker, like: “Allow me to comment…” or, “We all make mistakes, and please correct me if I am wrong, but…” or, “I might be wrong, but I understood such and such from you, and I think the correct thing is …” or, “With all due respect to my beloved brother…” However, some people start off in a good manner but then ruin everything by using harsh or inappropriate words of criticism.

· It is better to hint than criticise directly, and one should refrain from using insulting words.

·One should endeavour to be a good listener and write down his comments. When his turn comes to comment, he should then state what he thinks to be correct.

·Before replying to the other party, one should be calm and deliberate. He should not act stubbornly and be realistic in what he says. He should also make sure of sticking to the topic at hand and not to digress to other topics.

· When criticising someone or something, the idea is not to prove him wrong and oneself correct; one should therefore avoid embarrassing the opponent and preserve his dignity, as it is more desirable for the person to admit to his own fault or mistake and then adhere to the truth.

· One should not object to the words of his opponent until he fully understands what he means. Also, when talking, one should be precise and to the point.

·If the gathering is being run by a moderator, he should give an equal opportunity to everyone to participate and should be impartial.