The Prophet  said: “No one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi]

The religion of Islam places great importance on maintaining the ties of kinship between family members. All Muslims are to show kindness, generosity, and respect toward both their nearest and most distant relatives, whether they are Muslims or not. Allah Almighty places such importance on maintaining the ties of kinship that whoever cuts off the ties of their family, Allah Almighty cuts them off from Him. And the Quran goes as far to say that the one who cuts off the ties of kinship will be cursed.

Allah Almighty Says in the Noble Quran (what means): {But those who break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which Allah has ordered to be joined and spread corruption on earth – for them is the curse, and they will have the worst home.} [Quran 13:25]These days are an excellent time to mend burnt bridges and reach out to family members that you may have not seen in a long time or that you are at odds with.

These blessed days serve to open our hearts and minds as we humble ourselves before our Creator in sincere worship. Take the first step in reconnecting with your kin for the sake of Allah Almighty and to strengthen your family unit.

Take the first step

Regardless of how much time has passed since you have seen a family member or whatever transgression has made you keep your distance, use this time to reach out to a relative that you have been estranged from.

It's as easy as picking up the phone and inviting him or her to your home for a get together. The worst that can happen is that they turn you down or hang up the phone on you. At least Allah Almighty will know that you tried to fulfill your obligation of maintaining family ties.

But the best that can happen is that your desires for renewing the relationship will be reciprocated.

Forgiveness is key

There is no need to rehash the past once your estranged family member is in your presence. Forgiveness is the key to reestablishing your bond. So let bygones be bygones, even if in the innermost recesses of your heart you still feel that your kinsman wronged you.

A perfect exemplar can be found in Abu Bakr . Word came to him that his very own cousin, whom he had been giving much financial support, had publicly slandered his beloved daughter ‘Aa’ishah . Abu Bakr  immediately stopped giving him charity. Regarding this issue Allah Almighty then revealed the celebrated verse (what means): {And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 24:22]

No sooner did Abu Bakr  hear this than he resumed his cousin's financial assistance, and, indeed, increased it over what he  used to regularly give his cousin.

United we stand

A family that stands together is far stronger than one splintered into factions. So even if you are not at odds with one of your kin, you might know of family members who are not preserving their ties of kinship. You can do your part as a Muslim by acting as a mediator to reunite them under the same flag of Islam.

It might be difficult at first, especially since human emotions like pride and anger get in the way. But remind your family members that it is really Satan stoking the flames of discontent and that they must make peace against all odds to maintain the family bond. Should you find the situation too volatile to handle on your own, contact your local Imam or someone in your community known to offer good help in counseling to assist you in your endeavor.

Watch the garden grow

A family that is content with its members is like a garden that bears the most beautiful fruit and flowers that the human eye has ever beheld. As the discontent and anger melts away between kin, you will start to see the flowers in your family's garden blossom to reveal the beauty that Allah Almighty intended.

To keep that garden flourishing, weed out problems before they take root and nip familial discord in the bud. Most importantly, water your garden with lots of blessings from Allah, the All-Powerful, to keep your family together.

Trust in Allah Almighty and supplicate Him for assistance to keep your family thriving for many years to come.

 

In our contemporary society, friends are made at school, at work, in neighborhoods and even over the Internet. Friends are made and kept for a variety of reasons. People make friends with others who share common interests, hobbies, and even vices. The final goal of a friendship is often simply company, a desire to spend time with someone, or doing something that they both enjoy. A Muslim ought to choose friends more carefully and critically.

Certainly, Muslims, like everyone else, want friends who share interests and who are fun to be with. We all enjoy having a picnic with a friend or going out to dinner with friends. Who wouldn't like to go to a gathering with some of their best friends? But that is not only what a true Islamic friendship is all about. In fact, an Islamic friendship is not that simple at all. In Islam, true friendships are bound by brotherhood and sisterhood, bonds that are stronger than typical friendship. They are bonds that exist for a much higher reason and with a greater goal.


Muslims make friends knowing that the relationship they will ensue is an important bond between two people who share mutual goals. Their friendship is one that exists primarily for the sake of Allah, the Almighty. The love and camaraderie that are born from such a friendship is a secondary benefit, for sure.

True Love for The Sake of Allah

Love for others comes in different forms. Love between a husband and wife is one type of these forms, all friendship is another form. However, all forms of fondness that any one person can have for any other person, for the purpose of this article, will be referred to as love.


Realistically, pure love of another person only for the sake of Allah is difficult. Few people can attain such a friendship, which is why Allah rewards such an act of faith generously. The Prophet  explained, “Allah said: those who love one another for My glory will be upon daises of light [high positions], and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same.” [At-Tirmithi]


Nevertheless, many of us, in an attempt to reach this high level of faith, must try to make and build strong friendship that benefit us and our Ummah (Nation). In Islam true friendship is brotherhood or sisterhood- a bond that is strong and enduring. In this bond, men and women can find the sweetness of faith as the Prophet  said: “There are three things that whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: if Allah and His Messenger  are dearer to him than anyone or anything else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah; and if he hates to return to disbelief after Allah has rescued him from it, as much as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]


The rewards of loving another for Allah's sake are consistent with its importance. Its impact is not singular- it affects the entire society. For the entire society to exist in harmony and peace, its constituents must be at peace. If we could each want for our friends what we want for ourselves, the world would be a better place. This is what Islam ensures. If there is brotherhood and unity among the people, the society at large will be united.

The Prophet  instilled a deep-rooted love in the hearts of the companions, may Allah be pleased with them, to create a model Islamic society that all Muslims thereafter can emulate. Prophet Muhammad  tried to eliminate hatred, jealousy and rivalry by inducing brotherhood, sincere love and friendship. The Islamic society is ideally built upon the foundation of brotherhood, as the Prophet  advised: “Believers are like a structure, parts of which support one another. The believers, in their mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body; if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in fever.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

How to Love Someone

Since love among the believers is a condition of faith in Islam, the peace and harmony that are desired by all can be achieved, as each individual strives to do good and earn reward. So, what can we do? How can we be sure that our friendships are for the sake of Allah? Our lives are full of opportunities to increase and improve our friendships. First, as with any undertaking, we need to make clear, pure and sincere intentions. Pertaining to the existing friendships that we already have, we should make a conscious effort to love our friends for the sake of Allah. When we make friends in the future, we should also make conscious intentions that those new friendships will be for the sake of Allah.


After a pure intention, we need sincere actions. The Prophet  recommended a very simple but significant way to help Muslims gain brotherhood saying: “I swear by the One in Whose hands my soul is, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salaam [greeting one another saying: As-Salaam Alaykum] amongst yourselves.” [Muslim]

Greeting each other frequently and lovingly is the first step to achieving the ideal brotherhood.

It would seem that greeting another with “As-Salaam Alaykum” is an easy action. However, given the nature of men and women and our vulnerability to changing emotions, sometimes these simple words are hard to utter. In other words, there are times when even this simple greeting is hard to say to someone with whom we might have argued. The beauty of Islam is that it is realistic. So, it is allowed for us to take time to "cool off," but we are not allowed to cut off friendships based on rash and unreasonable emotions. The Prophet  said, “It is not permissible for a Muslim to be abandoned by his brother (i.e. fellow Muslim) for more than three days, both of them turning away from one another when they meet. The better of them is the one who is first to greet the other.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]


These teachings encourage Muslims to improve themselves, thereby improving their society. “Do not break off ties with one another, do not turn away from one another, do not hate one another, and do not envy one another. Be, O slaves of Allah, brothers.” [Al-Bukhari]


The Prophet's  words and actions live in our hearts and minds.

Heeding his advice, we should realize that we are supposed to be brothers or sisters in Islam because we share a common religion and belief. We are to be brothers and sisters in our hearts because we share a common goal: Allah's pleasure.