Question

I want to feel good most of the time and not rely on anyone. I do not have friends but would love to, and I do not have a boyfriend but would like to, and I do not have a sexy body but would like to, and I dream of taking my hijab off. None of my friends wear it, and they all have friends; they are all normal while I am not. Can I fast, pray, or do anything, like literally anything, to experience endless happiness and love? Please tell me how I can feel happy without drugs, friends, a boyfriend, and goods. Is there a way, or should I do all these things in order to feel high and happy for a few hours? 

Thank you!

Note: I love God and think He is so sweet, but I am lost in fitnah (temptation, tribulation).

Answer

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.

The need to feel good is present in each and every one of us. Allah, the Most Merciful, created us with desires, but at the same time he made us different from animals by giving us intellect and intelligence. If you were given a choice to enter a house for an hour and have all the things that you desire in this world, without limits, in it, but after an hour you will have to go to the basement where they will cut you into small pieces, would you choose to do so? If your answer is that you would go and fulfil your desire, then there is no point in reading the rest of the answer because it means that you have lost the most precious thing in this life: your ability to reason.

I would expect that you are intelligent (ma sha’ Allah) enough to say that you would never choose to do the above (if it was ever feasible); therefore, be consistent and never fall into contradictions. This life, Allah created it and filled it with things that fit our desires, and He gave us intellects and ordered us to worship Him alone. For any desire in this world, there is a halal alternative, it might require patience to achieve it, but it definitely feels much better in this life, and more importantly, has no bad consequences in this life or the Hereafter. Our life is temporary, and we were created for a reason. What makes us humans and not animals is that we can choose the best of two good things and stay away from the worst of two evils.

Every human being looks for happiness, joy, and delight, but to achieve that, we need six important things:

1- Knowledge of what is beneficial and good:

We are limited, and that is why we need Allah, the Most high, to inform us of what is good and beneficial for us, so refer to the Quran and Sunnah to know what is good.

2- The path to take to attain that good:

The only path is the path of revelation; the Quran and the Sunnah. It is a path that all Prophets and righteous people took, and they reached their final destination in peace. This path requires patience and dedication with certainty.

3- To actually take that path of goodness:

Knowledge is important, but it is only half the way to delight and happiness; unless you put the knowledge into actions, there is no benefit in it. Efforts, courage, struggle, and patience need to be in place to actually take the path to Paradise and goodness.

4- Knowledge of what is harmful and bad:

On the other hand, you have to know what is harmful; otherwise, happiness will not be attained. If you do all kinds of good things, one small harm can ruin all of it. Therefore, we need to know what is evil and bad. Again, humans are limited, we need knowledge of what is harmful, and it was given to us by Allah in the Quran and Sunnah.

5- The paths of evil and what is bad:

Evil and what is bad have so many different paths; the only way to know that is by learning what Allah wants from us in the Quran and the Sunnah.

6- To actually avoid the paths of evil:

Desires, temptations, peer pressure, and most importantly Shaytan (the devil) will try to take you to the path of evil and destruction. Shaytan will adorn and beautify the evil in your eyes, and unless you have the knowledge, patience, dedication, fear of Allah, hope for His rewards, and love of Allah, you will not be able to succeed.

Turn to Allah alone and ask Him for guidance and help, stay in a good environment with people who remind you of Allah, and beware of befriending those who commit sins that take them away from Allah.

May Allah guide us all.

An exceptional love

The love of Allah should occupy man's heart and get total possession of it; and if it does not seize it entirely, it should at least outweigh the love of all other things in it. Allah Says about the believers, (what means): "He loves them and they love Him," [Quran 5:54] and the Prophet  said: "A man would not have attained faith until and unless he loves Allah and His Messenger more than anything else." (Al-Bukhari) When angel of death came to take the soul of Prophet Ibraheem  the latter said, "Have you ever seen a friend take his friend's life?" To that, Allah replied, "Have you ever seen a friend unwilling to see his friend?" Then Ibraheem  said, "O Angel of death! Take my soul!" The Prophet  taught the following supplication to his Companions, "O Allah, allow me to love You and to love those who love You, and to love whatsoever brings me nearer to Your love, and make Your love more precious to me than cold water to the thirsty." (At-Tirmithi)

Al-Hassan Al-Basri  used to say, "He who knows Allah, loves Him."

Causes of the love of Allah

The first cause is man's love for himself and his drive to perfect his own creation. This leads directly to loving Allah because man's very existence and attributes are but the gift of Allah whose grace and kindness have brought man from behind the curtain of non-existence into this visible world. Man's preservation and eventual attainment of perfection are also entirely dependent upon Allah's grace. It would indeed be a wonder if one should take refuge from the heat of the Sun under the shadow of a tree and not be grateful to the tree, without which there would be no shadow at all. On precisely the same way, were it not for Allah, man would have neither existence nor attributes at all.

The second cause of this love is that man loves his benefactor, and in truth, his only Benefactor is Allah, for whatever kindness man receives from fellow-creatures is due to the immediate instigation of Allah. Whatever the motive that may have prompted the kindness he receives from others, Allah is the One who set that motive to work.

The third cause of man's love of Allah is his contemplation of the beautiful Attributes of Allah, His Power and Wisdom, of which human power and wisdom are but the feeblest reflections.

Signs of the love of Allah

Many claim to love Allah. But each should examine himself as to the genuineness of the love which he professes.

The first test of how genuine the love is this: he should not dislike the thought of death, for no friend shrinks away from going to see a dear and beloved friend. The Companion Abu Moosa Al-Asha'ri  narrated that the Prophet Muhammad  said, "Whoever wishes to meet Allah, Allah wishes to meet him." (Al-Bukhari)

It is true, one who sincerely loves Allah may shrink away from the thought of dying before he is fully prepared to meet his beloved One in the Next World, but one would think, he should work diligently to prepare for that sure meeting ahead of time.

The second test is that one should be willing to sacrifice his own will to Allah's; should cling to what brings him nearer to Him; and should shun all that distances him from Allah. One's commission of sins is no proof that one does not love Allah at all, but it proves that he does not love Him with his whole heart. Al-Fudhayl Ibn ‘Iyadh  once said, "If any one asks you whether you love Allah, keep silent; for if you say, `I do not love Him,' you are a nonbeliever; and if you say, ‘I do' your deeds may contradict your claim.”

The third test is that the remembrance of Allah should always remain fresh in one's heart, for what one loves, one constantly remembers; and if that love is perfect, one would never forget it.

The fourth test is that he will love the Quran, which is the Word of Allah, revealed to Muhammad  who is the Prophet of Allah; in fact, if his love is really strong, it will encompass the whole creation, for he who loves any one, loves the works he composes.

The fifth test is that he covets retirement and privacy for the purpose of worship and devotion; he longs for the approach of night so that he may hold association with his Friend without hindrance. If he prefers conversation by day and sleep at night to such retirement, then, his love is imperfect.

The sixth test is that worship becomes easy. A righteous man once said, "Over a span of thirty years, I performed my night-devotions with great difficulty, but during the course of the next thirty years they became a delight." When love to Allah is complete, no joy is equal to the joy of worship.

The seventh test is that one loves those who obey Allah and detest those who disbelieve in Him and disobey Him. Allah the Almighty Says (what means): "You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him. And We will admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him - those are the party of Allah. Unquestionably, the party of Allah is the successful." [Quran 18:22]