God has created every single one of us with a hole in our hearts. Sometimes we fill it with our husbands, our wives, or our children. Sometimes we fill it with technology, a new car, a degree, a sense of self worship like, “I want to be successful, I’m the man, I’m the powerful…”
But, when we do that, we have another hole in our heart, and another one, and another one…
Fill the Holes with God’s Love
But the moment you fill that hole with the love of God, you won’t have any holes left. And, you might be poor, you might have no dignity according to other people’s perception, you might not look right, you might not speak right… If you unwrap yourself with all of this linguistic wrapping like, “I’m Pakistani, I’m Jewish, I’m Caucasian, I’m a businessman, I’m a teacher…” you’d find the love of God and you have true peace in your life.
So, for that hold God’s love. It’s like the boat in the ocean. You know, the boat floats nicely and doesn’t sink on the ocean as long as the water is not in the boat. The boat is our hearts; the ocean is the ephemeral world. The more the water of the ocean is in our hearts, it will sink. It doesn’t mean you can’t be successful, of course be successful, but just align your heart in the right way.
Keep with the Quran
I beg you to just read the Quran. It is the spiritual medicine because the Quran aims to break the ego; because the ego is the barrier to divine love.
That’s why sometimes even if you’re not Muslim and you read the Quran, like I was a non-Muslim about ten years ago, when I read the Quran, I was like: “Oh my God who is this person? I don’t want to worship this person, I don’t want to love this person; He wants me to do things just for Him, but I want to do things for me!”
By God, someone told me before I was Muslim in my living room:
“We don’t do things for other people, or for ourselves, or our ego… We do things for God.”
I nearly fell sick! And that was my arrogance. The Quran was giving me the medicine; it was shaping me because the Quran makes you wake up to reality and says: “You think you are someone, you think you’re self-sufficient, but you were a drop of fluid from a drop of semen.”
The Quran talks about birth and the cycle of life: you were a baby, you couldn’t keep your neck up, you couldn’t even wipe your own backside; you could even feed yourself and you think you could take over the whole world?
Arrogance.
And the Quran also says:
Every soul is going to taste death.
You are going to meet your master. Be ready!
It’s so simple: when you love the world, you lose real love; when you love Allah, you gain absolute love.
God wants to liberate your minds; He wants to free you from this slavery and liberate your hearts.
Yes, I have felt that urge too. The latest movie is out and I just have to watch it, even though I’m short of money.
Plenty of clothes are gathering dust in my wardrobe, but I just have to buy that one. I can’t be happy without it.
No matter how many things we own, there’s always something out there that we want to get. We just have to have that next thing. Our happiness depends on it.
But once we get our hands on it, by some extraordinary transformation, that thing loses its power to influence our happiness; and the power somehow gets transferred to the next thing out there demanding our admiration.
Don’t you think all the advertisement you’re bombarded with every day – popping out on your phone while trying to watch a YouTube video, demanding your attention on flashing billboards, peeking at you out of the TV while you’re changing channels – has any effect on you? Why do you suddenly want to watch that particular movie or buy that particular phone?
You’re being influenced, perhaps even without your being aware of it. That discontent you feel with your lot in life – much of it is created from outside influence.
Gratitude and Contentment
But what’s wrong with wanting things, one might ask? It’s not forbidden in Islam to want things that are halal, is it? It’s not bad to want a new phone even if you already have a good one.
But think about it. Someone already has a fully functioning phone that’s giving him good service. And yet he’s not content with it. He wants something else. What does that tell you about his focus in life? About what is important to him?
He is just one step away from being ungrateful for what he has, and fretting over what he doesn’t have. The glass always looks half empty and is never half full.
Allah says in the Quran:
If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe. (Quran, 14:7)
Want vs. Need
When you feel the urge to have something, think before you decide to get it. Is it something you really need? Or is it only a desire? Why do you want this thing? Is it really going to benefit you? Is it worth the time and resources that you will have to spend on it?
Each of us only has a limited amount of time and resources. To make the best use of them, occupy your time with things that really matter.
Be the Shepherd, Not the Sheep
Do you know what’s common about all the Prophets and messengers who ever came to this world? They were all shepherds and not sheep. And they were trendsetters of their nation. They told people what’s cool and what isn’t. They defied the trends set by the elites of their people.
Whilst others followed the social norms blindly, they used their brains and sorted out the good norms from the bad and never thought twice of throwing the latter into the garbage bin.
Take the example of Prophet David (peace be upon him). He was a king, and yet he earned his own living and lived a simple life. He used to fast every other day; and he was a true worshiper of Allah. He chose to devote his limited time and resources into things that really matter.
Be like the Prophets and the messengers, the coolest people ever created by Allah.
The Benefit of Being Content with Less
A simple lifestyle is not only a dictate of a fourteen-hundred-year-old religion. Islam is evergreen, and its teachings are as trendy in modern times as they used to be back during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Minimalism is a modern trend and is backed by science. Embracing a minimalist lifestyle can declutter not only your wardrobe but also your mind, reduce stress and anxiety, and even make you more creative. And of course, you’ll save some money for spending in things that really matter.
What are the things that really matter?
Allah says:
So whatever thing you have been given – it is but [for] enjoyment of the worldly life. But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely. (42:36)
Do you want to be rich? According to the Prophet Muhammad, being rich doesn’t mean owning a lot. A truly rich person is one who is content. (At-Tirmidhi 2373)
Do you want to be successful? The Prophet Muhammad defined success with three conditions:
- Acceptance of Islam
- Having enough to suffice one’s wants
- Being content with what one has. (Muslim 1054)
Interestingly, in a hadith Qudsi we find that, if you devote yourself to (1), then Allah takes care of (2) and (3).
In other words, if you devote your limited time and resources into worshiping Allah in the correct way, then Allah will take care of your poverty and make you content. (Ibn Majah 4107)
It is reported that Shurayh said:
“If I am afflicted with a calamity, I praise Allah for it four times: I praise Him because it wasn’t worse than it was; I praise Him when He gives me the patience to bear it; and I praise Him for enabling me to say al-istirja’ (‘To Allah we belong and to him we will return’; see Quran 2: 154-156) in hope of a great reward; and I praise Him for not making it a calamity in my religion.”
Each and every one of us encounters stages in our lives when we are challenged. From death to relationship breakdown to problems at work – life is full of struggles.
These troubles can be things that leave us wondering why our lives cannot be perfect. We may look around and look on at awe to those who seem to be living in complete bliss.
We have a picture in our minds that life is meant to be flawless. When the reality does not match, we are deeply in pain and upset. What we must come to understand is the picture we painted is merely that – a creation of our own hands. It is not a reality.
Life is never about perfect days put together to form a life that is easy with no challenges or tests. When looking to the life of the Prophet Muhammad and his companions, they encountered the biggest of difficulties and often multiple at the same time.
If the people who were closest to Allah and the best of Muslims were tested repeatedly, who are we to think our lives would not be the same?
Many of us will be able to acknowledge one issue subsides and it is not long before a new problem or issue arises. Within this is a lesson that we should learn to deal with our situations in a positive way and continue to live our life in peace the best we can.
If we were to wait for a day when our life is perfect, we would be waiting until our death. This world is not our home; it is not Jannah that it will be immaculate without problems. Here are some simple yet important points to keep in our mind when dealing with whatever situation arises in your life:
1- Seeking Help from Allah
Prophet Muhammad said:
Whoever tries to be patient, Allah will give him patience, and no one is given a better or vaster gift than patience. (Sahih al-Bukhari 1469)
No matter what situation you find yourself in, you should take it upon yourself to always turn to Allah. Ask Him for the strength to continue to withstand those tough times.
Patience is an important concept within Islam. Difficulty is a test of faith; and patience is how a person passes this test. This does not mean a person is alone and must never speak of the difficulty they are facing. Rather, it is about turning to Allah and acknowledging it is only through Him that issues can be resolved. No one has the power, knowledge or ability to change their life – only Allah does.
2- Understanding Qadar
And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease. (40 Hadith Nawawi 19)
As Muslims we must hold firmly to the belief that Allah is aware of all the situations that we are finding ourselves in. Nothing happens which He does not know about; it is through His decision that it takes place.
This piece of vital information is key in attaining peace within times of difficulty. While we may look at others and question why we face with this dilemma, it is important to remember that this problem was going to always come your way. It is your problem the same way in which other peoples’ problems are theirs.
3- Looking for the Good in the Situation
Remember, within each situation there is something good. Nothing is ever totally dark and gloomy. We allow our minds to think in such a way that we turn off the lights ourselves.
Yes, sometimes looking for a positive requires you to remove the debris and rubble of sadness and upset in order for you to find it. However, it can be done in each situation because everything happens by the will of Allah. Each situation is there to teach us something and it is up to us to take the step to finding that lesson.
4- Remembering the Good in Your Life
Often, we focus on the bad and forget the good. Our lives are made up much more than one single situation or problem. There are many good things about life which we should be focusing on when we are upset or in trouble. This will allow us to be grateful and utter the words of “Alhamdulillah”.
By doing so, we increase our ability to withstand and have patience because we are consciously aware that there is a bigger picture outside of our difficulty. Even if the good seems minuscule compared to the hardship, we should do our best to focus on it.
What can you do to find the good in life?
Sit down and make a list of absolutely everything that you have. From the ability to see to the food on your table to the opportunities you have received in your life. If your mind makes this difficulty, look to others and notice the hardships they are in. Say Alhamdulillah.
If you feel yourself being chained down by your trials. Or if you feel depressed and stuck in endless bouts of hopelessness, here are a few truths that can help you through your darkest days and rekindle that light at the end of that tunnel, inshaAllah.
1- No Soul is Burdened with More Than it Can Bear
Don’t ever forget that Allah will never burden you with something that is beyond your capacity to deal with. Even on days when you feel as if you cannot take it anymore, know that you can survive it- for Allah (SWT) knows us better than we know ourselves and whatever trial you’re facing in your life, know that He also gives you the strength to handle that trial.
2- With Hardship Comes Ease
Allah (SWT) promises His believer that:
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (Quran 94:5)
Trust His word. Even if the suffering feels endless and you feel yourself getting exhausted from the weight of it all, do not lose hope- for there is ease and something even better waiting for you right around the corner.
Nothing remains forever, not even hardships. And those believers who hold on to hope and faith in Allah (SWT) and adopt patience amidst their difficult times are then rewarded in ways human beings cannot even imagine. So remember, this too, shall pass.
3- Allah is in Control, You Are Not
Depression is majorly defined by a sense of hopelessness- in yourself and in the world around you. It is rooted in a sense of sheer helplessness where you feel like nothing is in your control. But that is the truth; nothing is in your control.
Take a moment, embrace your lack of control over your circumstances, and know that the one in control is the best of planners and loves you more than you can imagine.
Surrender your attempts to control your life, leave it up to Allah (SWT), and trust His plan for you. Sometimes, the human mind is unable to understand the ultimate wisdom of Allah behind every single thing that happens to us.
However, accepting that Allah is in control and welcoming His plans for us ultimately leads to the enrichment of our mind, body and soul.
4- Do the Best You Can and Leave the Rest to Allah (SWT)
Remind yourself that human responsibility is restricted within certain boundaries. All Allah asks of us is that we fulfill our duties and do the best we can in our circumstances and leave the outcomes to Allah (SWT). We can only control our actions and duties, not the outcomes. Even the Prophets did not have control over their outcomes.
A believer is rewarded based on the effort, not the result. Do not dwell on what is beyond your control and embrace magnificence of Allah. Do not make yourself anxious over the unknown outcomes. Play your role the best you can and leave the rest to Him.
5- Be Grateful for the Blessings Allah (SWT) Has Bestowed You with
During the hard times, we tend to forget the blessings we have around us and instead, we focus more on the things that are going wrong for us. It is human nature. We tend to get lost in circumstantial sources of grief and pain and forget to notice our source of blessings.
Whenever you feel depressed and hopeless, remind yourself that you have a lot to be grateful for at the same time- whether it is a loving family, supportive friends, food in your belly every night before you sleep, a roof over your head and countless other things.
Remind yourself that you are better off than so many other people who do not share our fortune in these domains. Keep a “count your blessings” journal if you want, where you can jot down a couple of things you are grateful for on a daily basis. It really does help in looking at the bright side of things!
6- Dua for When You Feel Depressed and Hopeless
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) is known to have said:
Whoever was afflicted with grief and distress and says (see the following Dua), Allah, the Exalted and Ever-Majestic, will remove his grief and will change his sorrow into happiness.
It was said:
“O Messenger of Allah! (Do) we have to learn these words?”
He said:
Yes, whoever hears them should learn them:
O Allah, I am your slave, the son of your slave. My forelock is in Your Hand. Your judgment of me is inescapable. Your trial of me is just. I am invoking You by all the names that You call Yourself, that You have taught to anyone in Your creation, that You have mentioned in Your Book, or that You have kept unknown. Let the Qur’an be delight of my heart, the light of my chest, the remover of my sadness and the pacifier of my worries. (Musnad Ahmad, 3704).
The Prophet also recommended the following Dua for a believer who feel depressed and hopeless:
O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment). Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You. (Abu Dawud 4/324, Ahmad 5/42)
