Nervously, I approached the stranger I had agreed to meet. She was wearing a warm winter coat, buttoned up against the biting cold, and a pretty pink hijab. I had never so much as spoken to a lady in a headscarf and I had no idea what to expect.
Greeting me warmly with a friendly smile, I was immediately at ease and we spent over an hour in a nearby coffee shop chatting about Islam and why I had come to be interested in the faith.
Out of the blue, she asked me if I’d like to accompany her to the university mosque so she could pray. I readily agreed, overwhelmed with curiosity.
On our short walk from the city centre to the university campus I noted that this sister greeted, or was first greeted by, many other Muslims. I asked her if she knew all of these people and she replied with a smile that no, she didn’t know them all.
“These are my sisters. We recognize each other by our hijab so we exchange salaam. Muslims are all one big family!”
This had such a great impact upon me. How wonderful that brothers and sisters in faith recognize each other on the street and, knowing them or not, they greet each other with peace and blessings.
The Beauty of the Salaam
You will hear the words “assalamu alaikum” in any Arabic or Muslim majority country as the basic greeting of ‘hello’. Yet, if you really think about it, the salaam is so much more than a mindless “hello”, it’s a beautiful dua.
“Peace be upon you.” When you greet a brother or sister you are asking Allah to bless them with peace. It is a declaration that you wish for them contentment, happiness and ease.
By the One in Whose hand in my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that if you do it, you will love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves. (Muslim)
The greeting increases unity and love. Such a simple act, so many blessings. Alhamdulillah.
My town is quite small. There are not many hijabi sisters at all, so when I bump into a sister and we exchange salaam, it really makes my day.
Do not neglect this small gesture, you have no idea how much this could mean to a Muslim who is feeling lonely or isolated.
Rights Over Each Other
Allah and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) have been very clear about how Muslims should interact and care for each other. Allah says in the Quran:
The Believers are but a single brotherhood. (49:10)
There are six rights of the Muslim over his brother or sister. Islam makes no distinction between a beggar and a king; all Muslims are equal and these rights apply to us all. They are:
1. To greet each other with salaam.
2. To accept an invitation.
3. To advise him kindly.
4. To make dua for him when he sneezes.
5. To visit him when he is sick.
6. To attend his janazah (funeral).
Each of these guidelines serves to foster love and unity. They encourage us to engage with each other, to take care of each other and to nurture each other.
Of course, like any large family, there will be members who shirk their responsibility, but this does not take away from the fact that there are many more family members who carry out these duties with willingness and love.
Love for the Sake of Allah
Becoming part of the Muslim family, ummah, did feel awkward for me at first. Ladies I didn’t know called me “sister” and I wasn’t quite sure that I liked it.
But as time passed, the meaning seemed to evolve. It wasn’t the cringey “sister” that I had heard in Evangelical circles when I was a Christian, it was a deeper, more authentic term of endearment.
Standing in the row of sisters, waiting for the prayer to start, a girl I didn’t know approached me.
“My sister, your scarf has slipped, let me fix it for you.”
Such a small gesture but a world of kindness. A complete stranger cared enough to fix my scarf, worried that it may invalidate my salah, and she addressed me as her sister. I never saw her again, but I will never forget her.
Where are those who loved one another for My glory? Today I will shade them in My shade on the Day when there is no shade but Mine. (Muslim)
This signifies the importance of loving each other. It’s so important that Allah will seek out those believers who love each other for His sake alone, and He will shade them on the Day of Judgment.
A man set out to visit a brother (in faith) in another town and Allah sent an angel on his way. When the man met the angel, the latter asked him:
“Where do you intend to go?”
He said:
“I intend to visit my brother in this town.”
The angel said:
“Have you done any favor to him?”
He said:
“No, I have no desire except to visit him because I love him for the sake of Allah.”
Thereupon the angel said:
“I am a messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake).” (Muslim)
To earn the love of Allah, the Most High, all we have to do is love each other. Even those family members who are hard to love! Love them for His sake.
A Connected Muslim Family
Many of us have family members who have moved far away, or whom we don’t really speak to. Distance may be a problem or even a dispute. However, if an injustice occurs or they are sick or struggling, we can’t help but feel moved; their pain is ours also.
The same is true for the big Muslim family:
The believers, in their mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body: if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in pain. (Al-Bukhari)
Our brothers and sisters are suffering in many parts of the world and our collective grief is visible. Despite the distance, the cultural difference, the language barriers, we are all united by the shahadah. Praying in the same direction, five times a day, is further evidence of our bond.
If you are new to Islam, we welcome you into our Muslim family. Like every family, we have a few difficult relatives, we argue more than we should and we can be dysfunctional at times, but the love is there.
May Allah unite us, increase the love between us and make us stronger together. Ameen!
James Montier, a renowned global equity strategist studied behavioral psychology and concluded in his research ‘The Psychology of Happiness’ that psychologists have found that happiness is comprised of three components:
1- About 50% of individual happiness comes from a genetic set point. That is, we’re each predisposed to a certain level of happiness. Some of us are just naturally more inclined to be cheery than others.
2- About 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances; demographic factors, age, gender, ethnicity and geographic factors. It also includes personal history and life status.
3- The remaining 40% of an individual’s happiness is derived from intentional activity, from discrete actions or practices that we choose to do.
As humans we have no control over our genetic set-point, and hardly any control over our circumstances (whether it is truly 50% or not Allah knows best!). But there is a percentage (again how much – Allah knows best) of happiness in Islam is called ‘rida bi al-qada’ (being content with our lot in life).
This means that as believers if we truly love Allah and trust Him, we are satisfied with what He Has decreed for us. The Messenger (peace and blessing be upon him) would supplicate with words that would highlight the importance of satisfaction with our fate; therefore we too should make the effort to recite these supplications:
I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion, and with Muhammad as my Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). (Abu Dawud)
O Allah, make me content with what you have provided me, send blessings for me therein, and place for me every absent thing with something better. (Al-Bukhari)
O Allah, I seek refuge with You from knowledge which does not bring benefit and from a heart which is not fearful and from a self which is not content and from a supplication which is not answered. (Muslim)
Thereafter, the main conclusion to be drawn from Montier’s research is that we can only work on the last 40% to make ourselves happier. It must be noted that this 40% cannot be achieved in pursuit of money, fame or anything else materialistic. These are all transitory, and anything transitory will never result in true happiness.
True happiness in Islam is contentment, and this is only attained through activities which are not fleeting. So here are the 10 steps in the light of Qurʾān and Hadith which makes our lives happier:
1- Seek the Pleasure of Allah
Nothing can make us more happier than seeking the pleasure of Allah . Allah tells us in Quran about what is the greatest happiness in Islam, calling it a ‘supreme success’ and about the people who deserve this supreme success.
The believers, men and women, are Awliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends) of one another; they enjoin (on people) Al-Ma’rûf (good), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (evil); they perform As-Salât (prayer), and give the Zakât (charity), and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allāh will have His Mercy on them. (9:71, 72)
2- Be Thankful
The more Thankful we are to Allah , the more He will shower His bounties upon us. Appreciation of what Allah has blessed you with is vital for this step to be achieved. This is indeed an act of worship.
And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: “If you give thanks, I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless, verily! My Punishment is indeed severe.” (14:7)
O you who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him you worship. (2:172)
3- Satisfy Your Soul
Work on activities that result in internal happiness that satisfy and bring a smile to the heart, not merely a smile on the face by doing meaningful work; strive to partake in activities like feeding the poor, assisting the distressed and helping others rather than killing your resources like time and money.
True enrichment does not come through possessing a lot of wealth, but true enrichment is the enrichment of the soul. (Al-Bukhari)
4- Avoid Worldly Comparisons
Do not look at the celebrities, rich or affluent people above you in worldly matters. The lives of such individuals is not ‘ideal’ in the eyes of Allah . Admire the lives of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) who are our role models.
5- Expect Only From Allah
Any sustenance, provision and reward we expect is from Allah alone.
O Allah, give me enough of what You have made lawful to suffice me from what You have made unlawful, and enrich me by Your bounty giving me independence from all other than You. (Al-Tirmidhi)
Whether you were born and raised in Islam, or accepted Islam later in life, there will possibly be times where we will feel a disconnection between us and Allah. So how to go deeper with Allah?
Allah gave us the Quran as divine instruction and wisdom that will never lead us astray. Allah gave it to us as a guide to never stray from Him.
If we feel a disconnection between us and God, it is not because of Him, but usually due to lack of diligence in ourselves. We got lost somewhere because we stopped following the guidebook God gave us.
And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. (3:103)
If we stick to the guidance of Allah (holding onto the rope He gave us to save us), we will always have a close relationship with Him. It is when we forget that we have a rope there for us to use, that we start to feel disconnected.
To go deeper with Allah, we must purify our hearts and minds and obtain tawqa (shielding oneself against sin) and live our lives with ihsan (when you live and worship Allah as if you see Him and He sees you.)
Ihsan also encompasses observing good behavior, sincerity, kindness to all people, and do everything in excellence.
So how can one actually acquire these traits and go deeper with Allah?
Get Back To Basics & Remain Steadfast
We should have strict observance to the obligatory (fard) actions, such as prayer (salat), paying the poor tax (zakat), fasting Ramadan (sawm), and pilgrimage to Makkah (Hajj). How can we expect to do the sunnahs and be rewarded for them, when the obligatory things are being neglected?
Allah gives us a personal one-to-one appointment to talk with him five times daily. It’s something many neglect, called prayer! If you are at work and are facing a problem, you would request a meeting with your manager…right? Of course you would! Apply this analogy with Allah, because He has promised to answer those that supplicate to him in prayer.
And your Lord says: “Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): but those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell – in humiliation! (40:60)
Allah promises us in the Quran, that He will be with us and guide us as long as we strive for him.
Humble Yourself
And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster. (31:18)
Have you ever seen someone at your job that is a slacker, and yet they got a promotion that you felt should have gone to another, or even yourself? If so, be careful, because this can be an indicator of arrogance, assuming that you deserve more than another. He may have accomplished a goal that you are unaware of.
If you have a habit of thinking this way, it can indicate that you are losing trust in Allah and His infinite wisdom and mercy, whether you realize it or not. Sometimes He is merciful to us by not giving us certain things.
…But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. (2:216)
It’s when we are facing a trouble-free life and getting everything that we want that we should actually be re-evaluating ourselves to make sure that we are not seeking the dunya instead of the hereafter.
It may appear that others are having a great life filled with many good things, but it may be part of Allah’s plan for them to use up their rewards in this life (dunya) and not the hereafter (akhira). When would you rather have your rewards?
Arrogance about our lives, possessions, talents, gifts, etc. can easily lead one to disguised evils. Always remember that anything and everything that we have are gifts from Allah, and everything we don’t have may be a blessing in disguise, and we just can’t understand it. Allah is the master of planners.
Say, “Alhamdulilah” for everything.
Are You Just “Going through the Motions”?
Laura, an American new Muslim, expressed that she felt close to Allah when she accepted Islam, but explained that after a while, she felt she was just “going through the motions” and felt nothing. She felt she was a robot, and was yearning for that closeness to Allah again. She started out with sincerity in her prayers; but ultimately, she stopped praying because she felt that she was doing it without benefit, and felt Allah was not listening.
Allah hears your prayers, and He will respond to them. However, He will respond when the time is right, since he has the knowledge of all things, and He will do it not a minute before or a minute after. His timing is just.
We must maintain sincerity in everything we do, especially prayer. Acknowledge that prayer is the obligatory method ordered by Allah to worship Him. If we are praying for the sake of showing others that we pray, or praying and not paying attention to what we are saying in the prayer, then we are not putting sincerity in the prayer.
How do you ensure your prayer is sincere?
You have to make an intention (niyah) to clear your mind of pride, and try to be focused in your prayers. The trick to maintain the sincerity in your prayers is to pray as if it is your last prayer before death approaches you. We should pray all of our prayers as if it is our last anyway, because we never know if we will live to see the next prayer.
Increase Remembrance and Worship of Allah
Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do. (29:45)
Not only should we establish regular prayers, we should do extra prayers beyond what is obligatory (nawafil prayers or deeds). Allah tells us that those who do nawafil prayers will be able to do great things, and if we ask for something he will give it to us and protect us.[i]
Glorify Allah with dhikr after your prayers, and make dua’ (supplications) every time you want to talk. Allah will always listen when others won’t. Open your heart to Him, and glorify Him, and make istighfar (repentance) regularly.
When you are in sujood (prostrating) in your prayers, let it all out! Cry if you feel the need to, and stay in that position as long as you need to. Allah listens to his believers in sujood, and He is ever most merciful. You will start to see a change in your life, and more closeness to Him.
Don’t Despair – Put Your Trust in Allah
Strive to do all things with your fullest ability, so that you can feel certain that if you fail in something, or do not reach a goal, that it was by the qadar (divine will) of Allah that the events that unfold are not just because your lack of trying. Accepting the qadar of Allah is essential in growing a closer relationship with Him.
Allah tells us:
Say: “Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us: He is our protector”: and on Allah let the Believers put their trust. (9:51)
When you put your trust in Allah, you can more easily accept the good and the bad that befalls you. He only wants what is best for his believers.
Let go of any anxiety you have about a matter, and put your trust in Him. He tells us in Surat Al-‘Anfal 8:2 that our faith will be strengthened if we do.
Imagine that! He not only tells us how to worship him, but He even tells us how to increase our faith! He is so merciful that we can’t even imagine His limits.
It is good to unwind. It is good to take some time to reflect on life, to take delight in it and seek balance in the good things life has to offer. Sometimes this means we have to take a couple of steps back and look at things from a slightly different angle.
We see this in the way Allah addresses His Messenger (peace be upon him). He says:
Had We not expanded for you your breast, and relieved you of your burdens which weighed you down? (Quran 94: 1-3)
Allah also says:
Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter? And found thee wandering, and gave thee guidance? And found you in need and made you free of want? (Quran 93: 6-8)
There is nothing wrong with breaking your monotonous daily routine and trying out something different in order to inspire you, revitalize your way of thinking, and return your mind to a relaxed and balanced state, one that puts you in greater emotional harmony with your surroundings and with other people.
You need to be able to read the signs your body gives you and understand its needs. You need to know the warning signs that you have reached your limit.
Allah says:
Therefore, when you art free (from your immediate task), still labor hard, and to your Lord turn (all) thy attention. (Quran 94: 7-8)
He says:
Truly, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest! (Quran 13: 28)
Do not wear yourself down and do not take on more than you can handle. Your body has rights over you, and so does your inner self. A human perspective is better for our bodily well-being than angelic aspirations. Such a perspective is more stable and less in need of compromise down the road.
You should keep an open mind and be ready for the unexpected. Be prepared for the demands you might have to face. The best kind of success is where you are able to see what you achieve as being the best there is in life. This gives you an inner safeguard from the unforeseen obstacles that might get in your way.
We do not have to be running to get ahead at every moment or struggling to take in everything that life throws at us. Sometimes, a little spontaneity can provide us with invaluable insights. A certain free spirit is needed for life to go easy.
If we really think about it, we will see that fretting over all possibilities to the point of confusion actually makes it more difficult for us to distinguish what is correct from what is in error.
Expect the Bad and the Good
You need to keep the faith that life is but an interesting conundrum, and you should strengthen your resolve with the knowledge that whatever bad might befall us, something good will rise out of it as long as you are patient, are ready to keep a level head, and move forward.
It is not naïve to let bad experiences run their course. In truth, most of the negativity we face stems from our thinking – quite falsely – that we can get through life without taking any hard knocks. We must accept that there will be ups and downs.
Allah says:
No calamity befalls save by Allah’s leave. And whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart. (Quran 64: 11)
In Sahih Muslim, Suhayb related that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
How amazing are the believer’s affairs; all his affairs are good for him. If good befalls him, he is grateful and that is good for him, and if he is afflicted by calamity he is patient and that is also good for him.
Allah also tells us:
And when the true believers saw the clans, they said: This is what Allah and His messenger promised us would happen. What Allah and His messenger told us was true. It did but confirm them in their faith and acceptance. (Quran 33: 22)
My dear friends, I’m going to say a few words to you today about serenity.
In Arabic we call it Al-Sakinah, but I’d like to change the word from serenity.
I would like to change it to how do we find calm and peace?
How do we ground ourselves?
You know our world is so busy. We’re rushing around all the time.
You know we set off to work 9:00 in the morning, we come back at 5:00, we’re so tired. All what we want to do is watch the TV and sleep.
Life is very busy. And when we are at work, we have to meet this deadline, see this person, and answer this telephone. When we get home, the kids are rushing around upstairs and the kitchen it’s noisy. So often that serenity and calm that we are looking for in life is illusive, we can’t find it.
Well, it is to be found in Islam.
What Does Islam Mean?
You probably know the word Islam comes from a root Arabic word that means two words: submission and peace.
Now this is very interesting. You know, “submission” is not a politically-correct word at the moment, we don’t like to talk about submission.
But when we’re talking about submission, we are not talking about submission to men. We are not talking about bending the knee and kissing the hand and obeying men. When we talk about submission in Islam, we talk about submitting to Allah. What does that mean?
It means that, for example, when a Muslim prays, he or she, their forehead touches the ground in prayer five times a day, and they say to Allah All-Mighty:
“O Allah, help me to be a better person, help me to be a better Muslim. Without You I’m nothing at all”.
So we are submitting to Allah, we are saying there is nothing I can do, there is no success I can have without You. With You, You will bring success to everything I do, but without You I’m just a noisy gong, it’s just me I’m talking about.
So, when we submit to Allah, this is when the second word comes in: we find peace and serenity through submission. This is the extraordinary thing. This is not the way the world thinks.
The way the world thinks is that we want to be on-top, we want to be number 1, we want to be the most important person, we want to have more rather than be better.
Well, Islam teaches us submit to Allah, accept what Allah wants and we will find peace in our lives.
Mobile Phones & Life: Which is More Important?
Let me give you an idea.
You know, if you went off to buy a new mobile phone for example, you buy the phone and you bring it home in the box, and you’d be very foolish if you didn’t read the instructions in the box.
If you start using the phone without reading the instructions first, very likely you won’t get the best out of your phone. It tells you how to charge the battery properly, how to plug it in… so you follow the instructions, you follow the maker’s instructions, and by doing that you get the best out of your phone.
Well, as Muslims we believe that we have the Maker’s instructions for life. In the Quran and in the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) we find how we live our lives, and our lives are much more important than a phone.
So we listen to what Allah wants us to do, and by submitting to Him, by saying to Him: “You O Allah are in charge”, then we find this peace that we are looking for.
At Funerals
I want to share another idea with you. You know, imagine a funeral in the West, and the coffin is brought in to the church, and the minister is asked to say a few words about the person who has died.
Well, I’ve been to many funerals in my life, but I’ve never heard anyone say with the dead person in front of them, this man had twelve suits. I’ve never heard anyone in a funeral say this woman, she had so many dresses in the wardrobe, or he took so many foreign holidays a year, or he had this car…
At your funeral, those things which are important are what people would say: he was a good man, he was a good husband to his wife, he was a good father to his children, he was honest, he was kind, he was a man of faith, he was a man of prayer.
So in death, we all realize what is really important. But sometimes you know in life we miss the point because we’re rushing around because we want to have more things. We miss the point about what life is about, so that happiness we’re always looking for, that rest we seek… Allah All-Mighty tells us in the Quran:
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah will hearts find rest. (13:28)
Finding Peace
In the remembrance of Allah, not in how many pairs of shoes you’ve got, that won’t bring you happiness. Shoes won’t bring you happiness. You know how you look for a new car, “all will be well if I get a new car.” Or “all will be well if I get a new job”, or “if we move to a bigger flat”, or if… or if…
And the thing is we’re never happy. Once we’ve moved to a new flat we want a bigger flat. Once we’ve got one new suit, we want another, or a new pair of shoes, or a new hijab,… or whatever it might be. Things will not bring us happiness, and the mistake we make in life is in thinking that acquiring more things will settle our hearts.
You know, was it last year or the year before, in the United Kingdom in the summer there were terrible riots, and young people were breaking shop windows and stealing televisions and burning things, and when I watched it on the television, immediately I said to myself “I know what’s happening here.
These young people, they don’t want televisions, they don’t want fighting and violence, what they want is Allah, they are looking for Allah, but they don’t know where to find Him, because only in the remembrance of Allah will our hearts find rest.”
So how do I find that elusive peace?
As Muslims, the answer is very simple. First of all in prayer. Five times a day, God All-Mighty (Allah) tells us, now why five? Why not fifty five? Why not seventeen?
Because Allah chose that at five particular times of the day we pray. When do we pray?
Pray and Find Peace
We pray in the earliest part of the morning, even before it’s light. We pray at noon, when the sun is at its height in the heavens. And we pray in the middle of the afternoon when we are busy with our work. We pray when the sun goes down, and we pray at night. The rest of the time we don’t pray because we are asleep.
So Allah All-Mighty gives us these five times to perforate the day. It’s not a matter of numbers, we pick five, five seems a good idea.
The idea is that in praying five times a day our lives become holy, because five times a day we leave the business of life and we think about Allah All-Mighty instead.
So for Muslims, when we pray and our foreheads in a gesture of submission touches the ground…
You know you might be a king in our job, we might be a millionaire in our job, we might be a road sweeper, but when our forehead strikes the ground we’re all equal in the sight of Allah, and we all say Allah All-Mighty, give me that peace that only You can give. Let me be one of those called Muslims because I have submitted to You.
I invite you to find that peace in Islam.
Islam, remember, comes from submission and peace.
It is a message of peace for my heart and for the world.
In-Shaa-Allah, you will find that peace too.
Forgiving someone who has hurt or wronged us can be one of the most difficult things we do in life. There are definitely benefits to forgiving others, though, and many of these are internal.
As Muslims, we believe the “internal” refers not only to our mental health, but our spiritual state as well. Here are four ways in which forgiveness can be good for a person’s soul:
1. It Puts You at Ease
The struggle to forgive someone else is something that we have to go through on our own. Nobody else knows exactly how we have been affected by that person’s words or actions, so they can only do so much to support us. And even though we might feel like the other person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness, sometimes we have to push those thoughts aside and forgive them anyway— not for them, but for ourselves.
There’s a famous quote about forgiveness, which is:
“Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Nobody is affected by our unforgiving sentiments more than we are. The person who is asking (or not asking) for our forgiveness will most likely not be experiencing the same level of pain or disturbance as us.
We owe it to ourselves to try to get rid of toxic thoughts and feelings, and oftentimes, this only comes with forgiving the person who made us feel that way.
2. It Shows That You’re Taking the High Road
Holding a grudge or taking revenge is easy; choosing to forgive others is hard. But it shows the strength of one’s character, and helps us grow spiritually.
3. It Helps You Fight Your Demons
We all have weaknesses, and for some of us, this includes a tendency to be resentful towards someone even after they have apologized to us.
Forgiving them from the bottom of our hearts (not just saying “it’s okay,” while not really meaning it) is a difficult but effective way to combat that weakness.
Many of us also tend to be unforgiving towards ourselves— sometimes even more than we are to others. This can be one of the toughest battles to fight.
Coming to terms with our mistakes, and learning to forgive ourselves for them, can give us the kind of inner peace that few other things in life will. It also allows us to be a source of positivity in the lives of others.
4. It Earns You Forgiveness from Allah
One thing that really helps me in forgiving others is to remind myself of my own shortcomings, and the times that I’ve messed up by hurting others or my own self. Yet I still hope and expect that Allah will forgive me, because He is the Most Merciful.
But why should I expect Allah to forgive me for even my biggest mistakes and wrongdoings, when I’m not even willing to try to do the same for others?
Allah Himself explains this concept beautifully in the Quran:
Let [those of virtue] pardon and overlook. Wouldn’t you love for Allah to forgive you? And Allah is ever-Forgiving, most Merciful. (24:22)
Life is such that we are constantly experiencing times of difficulty and upset. We find ourselves in situations that pull us into moments of deep darkness. We sometimes wonder how we ended up in such places.
Islam teaches us to have hope; through this teaching we are able to find understanding for the feelings and emotions we go through. Islam has the power to remove us from sadness and into a light full of happiness, even if the external environment is one that does not appear to be perfect.
The world is not perfect. Dunya was made to be a test for the believer. If dunya was perfect, why would be we striving for Jannah? We would want to stay here forever but we know that there is something much better than this:
Narrated Abu Huraira, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
The dunya is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever. (Sahih Muslim, vol.4, 7058)
Our life in this dunya is a journey to Jannah, where we will be ultimately happy. However, this does not mean we cannot find peace and happiness while we live our lives here.
Happiness is a feeling of contentment in any given situation, even the bad. There is a blessing and reason for all situations because, as we know, all that happens is written and is known to Allah. This idea alone helps us accept our difficulties, and seek out the blessings.
Some may ask “why do we struggle to find this happiness?” It is all about our mindset. If we deem happiness to be in the form of material goods or within only particular situations, we will always be waiting to find it.
We will never feel we have enough. There is always another cell phone that is better than yours. There is always someone who earns more money than you. And there is always someone whose life appears more perfect than you. Changing the way we think and looking for the hidden blessings in our world is the start to finding and feeling happiness.
Here are some tips for you to ponder over:
Know Your Lord
Everything comes from Allah. By increasing your knowledge of Allah and His attributes, a personal can begin to have a better relationship with Him. This ultimately helps a person accept the situations they are in. By remembering Him often, through dhikr, difficulties and problems can become distant, allowing you to see your situation in a different light.
Allah says:
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (Quran 13:28)
Make Dua
If we want something in this life, making dua is the best tool we have for ensuring it enters our life. When you want to feel happy, be relieved of difficulties and experience contentment in your life then turn to Allah.
Be it for something small or big, Allah is the one that can make it happen. Make sincere dua, especially during the times of dua acceptance such as the last third of the night and between Asr and Maghrib on a Friday.
Good Deeds
Spend your time doing good deeds. Why? Because actions that are liked by Allah will lead you to have stronger Imaan, a better relationship with your lord and this will help to relieve you of the difficulties you may be facing in your life.
There are so many things that fall into this category. Direct acts of worship such as fasting, praying increased nafl and sunnahs and reading Quran are some ways of increasing your deeds. You can also spend time with family, volunteer to help others, give in charity as other ways to increase the deeds you are doing. Always remember to keep your intentions pure and Insha’Allah, you will be rewarded accordingly.
Narrated ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab:
I heard Allah’s Messenger saying:
The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for. (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Seek Forgiveness
Sometimes, our sadness comes from dwelling over mistakes in the past. We all do things that we are not proud of and sometimes these can haunt us.
Firstly, we should try not to recall such events, especially if it something that we are not happy to remember. Rather, we should spend our time making dua and seeking forgiveness from Allah that we did those things. Forgiveness from Allah is the way to rectify past sins and mistakes, not torturing ourselves that they happened in the first place.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar:
We counted that the Messenger of Allah would say a hundred times during a meeting:
My Lord, forgive me and pardon me; Thou art the Pardoning and forgiving One. (Sunan Abi Dawud 1516)
Always Remember it Could Be Worse
Whatever situation you are in, remember that it can always be worse. There are so many stories on the news and internet that demonstrate people in difficulties. While our hardships may affect us deeply, by looking at others and appreciating that we are not in those situations, we can find some peace in the life that we have.
Allah has placed us on this earth for a set period of time; it will come to an end, as will the sadness and difficulty. By accepting our life could be worse, we should be happy with what we have and grateful for that which we do have, not what we do not have.
