The Prophet’s


Interactions


with His Family


In the Name of Allah,


the Most Gracious,


the Most Merciful


01 Gentleness towards the family:


The Prophet  was very gentle towards


his family. The Prophet  instructed


us saying: “Gentleness is not added


to something, except that it would be


embellished.” The Prophet  said to


A’ishah: “O A’ishah, when Allah wants


good for a household, its members


would treat each other kindly.” (Targhib)


The Prophet’s Interactions


with His Family


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One should not boss their family


around unnecessarily or give them


chores that are impossible to complete


or treat them rudely when they are


good towards him.


One has to control his emotions at all


times, especially during arguments.


A’ishah said: “A group of Jews entered


upon the Prophet  and they said to


him, ‘As-saam alaikum,’ (death be


upon you). I understood what they


meant, and said to them, ‘May death


be upon you! May the curses of Allah


fall upon you as well!’ The Messenger


of Allah  calmly said, ‘O A’ishah, take


it easy. Allah loves that you approach


all of your affairs in a kind manner.’ I


said to the Messenger of Allah , ‘Did


you not hear what they said to you?’


He  replied, ‘That is why I responded


by saying, ‘And may it be upon you.’”


(Bukhari)


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02 Serving his family:


The Prophet  continually helped with


household chores. A’ishah described


what exactly that entailed. She said:


“He would repair his shoes and sew his


own clothes.” (Bukhari)


03 The Prophet would serve


himself:


The Prophet  would take care of


his affairs by himself. He would not


demand


his wife to serve him. A’ishah said the


Prophet  would clean his clothes,


milk the sheep, and serve himself.


(Sahih al-Jami)


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04 Spending on his family:


Generosity and spending on the family


are principles that the Prophet 


planted in the hearts of his Companions.


He said: “Indeed, Allah is generous and


loves generosity.” (Tirmidthi)


The Prophet  was asked: “What is the


best form of charity?” He  said: “The


money you spend on your family is the


greatest in reward.” (Muslim)


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The matter of taking care of the needs


of your wife is not a favor done towards


one’s wife, but a duty upon the Muslim


husband. The Prophet  was asked:


“What is the duty of a husband towards


his wife?” He  replied, “To feed her


as you would yourself, to clothe her


as you would yourself, that you not hit


her face or curse her and you should


not forsake her, except in the house.”


(Abu Dawood)


05 Comforting the family:


The Prophet  sought comfort for


his family, as he would try his best to


avoid all difficulties. Anas said: “The


Prophet  was traveling and a young


boy was singing a tune that would


make the camels walk at a faster pace.


The Prophet  called out to him, ‘Slow


down,’ for he feared for the safety of


his family.” (Bukhari)


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06 Forbearing nature of the


Prophet :


The Prophet was always smiling, even


when he faced problems at home.


Umar said: “The men of Quraish would


overcome their wives and would


make them succumb to their will, but


in Madinah, the women of the Ansar


would overcome their men! Our


women picked up these habits from


the women of the Ansar. One day my


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wife was upset with me and yelled


at me. I was shocked that this took


place and reprimanded her for that.


With this, my wife said, ‘Why do you


reprimand me? Indeed, the wives of


the Prophet  do the same, and some


of his wives even give him the ‘cold


shoulder’ all day long!’


This shocked me and I told her, her,


‘Any of them who does this is in a state


of loss!’ Umar then went to the house


of his daughter Hafsa, the wife of the


Prophet . Umar then verified what he


had heard from his own wife, and Hafsa


concurred. Umar then exclaimed, ‘You


are in a state of loss! Do you have


any guarantee that the punishment


of Allah would not descend upon you


on ac-count of Allah’s anger?’ He then


said, ‘Do not yell or give him the cold


shoulder. If there is anything you want,


ask me and I shall help you.’” (Bukhari)


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07 Fulfilling the wishes of his


wives:


The Prophet  would immediately


respond and take care of his family’s


needs. A’ishah asked the Prophet : “All


your wives have a Kunya (nickname),


what shall mine be?” The Prophet  said,


“Call yourself Umm Abdullah (mother


of Abdullah).” This is what A’ishah was


called until she died. (Silsilah)


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08 Caring for his wives:


The Prophet  took care of his family


in the best manner when they fell


ill. A’ishah said: “Whenever one of


the wives of the Prophet  fell ill,


the Prophet  would recite the last


chapters of the Qur’an upon them.”


(Muslim)


09 Greeting his family:


The Prophet  would sit after Fajr


with his companions until sunrise.


After that, he would visit his wives. He


would greet each one and suppli-cate


for them. (Majma az-Zawaid)


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10 Seeking counsel from his wives:


During the events that led up to the


signing of a peace-treaty with the


disbelievers


of Quraish (al-Hudaybiyyah), he 


com-manded his Companions to


slaughter their animals and shave their


heads. The Companions were so saddened


that they were not allowed to


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enter Makkah and perform the minor


pilgrimage (Umrah) that not even


one of them got up to carry out this


order. After repeating this command


three times, no one got up to follow


his orders, so the Prophet  entered


upon his wife, Umm Salamah and he


told her what had happened. Upon


hearing his complaint, she told him


to go out and not talk to anyone until


he had slaughtered his animal and


shaved his head. The Prophet  took


her advice. When the Companions saw


the Prophet  slaughter his animal


and shave his head, they all raced


among themselves to do the same. (Al-


Istidhkaar)


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11 The Prophet  sought


permission from his wives:


One of the beautiful characteristics of


the Prophet  was that he never was


unfair, even while he was ill. A’ishah


said: “The Messenger of Allah  sent a


message to all his wives during his final


sickness saying, ‘I cannot visit you as I


usually do, so I seek your permission


to stay with A’ishah.’ His wives agreed


and allowed him to stay with her.” (Abu


Dawood)


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In another narration, the Prophet 


said: “Where shall I stay to-morrow?


Where shall I stay tomorrow?” He was


looking forward to A’ishah’s turn, so all


his wives allowed him to stay where


he wished, and he stayed at A’ishah’s


house until he died. A’ishah added,


“He died on the day of my usual turn,


at my house. He died while his head


was against my chest.” (Bukhari)


12 Involving the family:


The Messenger of Allah  would always


involve his family. Anas said: “One of


the Prophet’s neighbors prepared a


splendid meal for him, and he invited


the Prophet . The Prophet  pointed


at his wife saying, ‘What about her?’


The man said, ‘No,’ so the Prophet 


declined saying, ‘I cannot attend.’ The


man then invited the Prophet  once


again and the Prophet  asked him,


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‘What about her?’ The man once again


said, ‘No,’ so the Prophet  declined


his invitation yet again. The man then


invited the Prophet  for a third time


and when the Prophet  asked about


A’ishah he invited her as well, so the


Messenger of Allah  accepted his


invitation.” (Muslim)


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13 Correcting mistakes:


The Prophet  used great wisdom


when correcting the mistakes of his


family. One day A’ishah said: “Safiyah


is very short…” She said this in a


derogatory manner and the Prophet 


immediately stopped her from saying


anything further, and said, “You said


a phrase, by Allah, were it mixed with


the ocean, it would have polluted its


water.” (Targhib)


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On another occasion, Safiyah heard


Hafsa saying, “Safiyah is the daughter


of a Jewish man!” When she heard


this, she wept! The Prophet  asked


her, “Why do you weep?” She said,


“Hafsa has said about me, ‘You are


the daughter of a Jewish man!’” The


Prophet  calmly told her, “You are


indeed the daughter of a Prophet,


and your Uncle is a Prophet, and you


are married to a Prophet! So how can


she put you down?” The Prophet 


then told Hafsa, “Fear Allah, O Hafsa!”


(Tirmidthi)


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14 The Prophet  accepted the


excuses of his family:


There is no doubt that mistakes will


occur during marriage. A husband may


do something wrong, just as a wife


may make a mistake. When a spouse


accepts the excuse of his family,


this would be indicative of the good


manners that the spouse possesses.


One day the Prophet  was waiting


for A’ishah and she was a bit delayed.


The Prophet  asked her, “What held


you back?” She said, “O Messenger of


Allah  I heard a beautiful recitation,


the likes of which I have never heard!”


The Prophet  then went and listened


and he came back after a long period


and said, “This is Salim, the freed slave


of Abu Hudhaifah.” (Takhrij al-Ihya)


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15 Making his family happy:


The Prophet  was keen on making


his family happy. A’ishah said: “The


Messenger of


Allah  asked me, ‘Are you not pleased


that you shall be my wife both in this life


and in the next?’ A’ishah responded,


‘Of course!’” (Silsilah)


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16 Kindness towards his family:


The Messenger of Allah  dealt with


those around him in the most gracious


manner. A’ishah said: “When the


Prophet  was with his wives, he was


the kindest person, the most generous


of all people and was always smiling


and laughing.” (Jami as-Saghir)


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17 Forgiving nature towards his


family:


The Prophet  was a very forgiving man.


Even if a person intentionally made


an error, he pardoned that individual.


When the Prophet  conquered


Makkah, and those people who were


once his enemies stood before him, he


asked them, “What do you think I shall


do to you?” They replied, “You are a


gracious brother and a gracious cousin.”


He then said, “Go, for you are all free!”


The Prophet  could have taken the


opportunity to avenge the previous


hardships and sufferings he faced from


them, but instead he set them free. His


family had the greatest share of this


grace. If the Prophet  asked his wives,


“Have you made any lunch,” and they


had not, he comforted them by saying,


“I am fasting.” (Nasa’ee)


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In such a way, his family would


never feel bad or feel that they had


disappointed him.


18 The Prophet  would give his


family what they yearned for:


The Prophet  would make a habit of


trying his best to give his family what


they yearned for as long as it was not


something prohibited.


A’ishah once said, “O Messenger of


Allah, all your Companions have performed


the Hajj (greater pilgrimage)


and Umrah (lesser pilgrimage)


except for me!” The Prophet 


asked her, “Didn’t you perform Tawaf


(circumambulate the Ka’bah) when


you first arrived?” She said, “No.”


The Prophet  then said, “Go with


your brother to the neighborhood


of Tan’eem and make inten-tion to


perform Umrah.” (Bukhari)


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To download and read the complete book,


click on the cover picture here.


This is an excerpt


of a larger book titled


“Romance in Islam”


by Abd Ar- Rahman


bin Abd Al-Kareem Ash-Sheha.


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