The inevitability of death


Funeral-Rites-(part-1-of-2).jpgAllah tells us in the Quran that everyone shall taste death. (Quran 3:185) Death will come to each and every one of us, it is unavoidable.  It is perhaps one of the only things in life for which we can be certain.  Death is frightening and horrifying and it is faced by every living thing.  It comes for the young, the old, the rich, the poor, the strong and the weak. You cannot run and you cannot hide. God says that the death “from which you flee” will meet you (Quran 62:8) and Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of Allah be upon him, exhorted us to remember the “destroyer of pleasures, death”[1].

Yes, death is inevitable but there are certain things that a believer can do to prepare. Islam has given us a complete set of instructions for the person who is dying, for those who have the privilege to be present at the time of death of a loved one, and for those responsible for the burial.  These instructions ensure that the rights of those who are dying and those who have passed away are respected and treated with care.

When death approaches us


Death can come suddenly and without any warning or it can come more slowly giving a person and his or her loved ones time to prepare themselves.  There are five important things the one facing death should try to do.

1.     Remain patient.


The time of death is something that we have no control over. In the face of any suffering the believer must be certain that Allah only decrees for him something good. However, that good maybe among the pleasures of this world or it might be in the Hereafter.

2.     Refrain from whining and complaining.


However, crying and complaining privately to God is something that is permissible.  Islam tells us that it is acceptable to cry directly to Allah and lay before Him all our fears, pains, suffering, and troubles.  Prophet Jacob set this standard when he cried out to Allah at the loss of two of his believed sons. He said that “I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah.” (Quran 12:86)

3.     Try to remain between the states of fear and hope.


Be fearful of punishment for your sins but he hopeful of Allah’s forgiveness and mercy. Prophet Muhammad said, that these two things, fear and hope, never gather in the heart of a person without God giving him what he hopes for and sheltering him from what he fears.[2]

4.     Settle affairs.


The believer must assure that his affairs are in order. He must write a will, and he must settle or make arrangements for any debts that he has.

5.     Prepare for the funeral.


Ask relatives and friends to be careful to follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad when conducting the funeral.

When death approaches a loved one


There are several important things for the family and friends of the dying person to do.

1.     Visit the patient.

2.     Make sure they are getting appropriate medical treatment.

3.     Talk quietly to the patient, consoling and counselling them in this time of suffering and fear.

4.     Pray with and for the patient. Say good kind words and make du’a. Refrain from saying anything negative because Prophet Muhammad told us that the angels are present at the sick bed and say Ameen to whatever is uttered there.[3]

5.     Try to fulfil any desires the patient might have that do not go against his doctor’s instructions.  Perhaps there is a special food or drink that he desires or comforts that he would like around him.  He might need friends or family to be contacted or brought to visit him.

If a believer is visiting a non-Muslim patient he should seek help from Allah and invite the person to accept Islam.

When death is near


A dying person can see things that we are unable to see.  He might mumble to himself or to the angels that gather around him. He might become very weak, seeming to drift in and out of sleep or consciousness.  Those at his bedside should be gentle and quiet remembering to speak positively and make du’a.  If it will not cause discomfort, a dying person should lie facing the qiblah either on his right side or his back.  He should be assisted and prompted lightly to say the words, La ilaha illa Allah (there is no god but God), with the hope that these will be the last words that pass his lips.  It might ease the dying person’s suffering if his lips are kept wet or a few drops of water are dripped into his mouth.  Finally, the dying person should never be left alone.

What to do immediately after death


1.     Close the eyes of the deceased and make du’a

2.     Straighten the arms and legs from time to time to prevent them from becoming stiff.

3.     Remove the clothing and cover the entire body with a clean sheet.  If the person was in the state of ihram for Hajj or Umrah his face and head should be left uncovered.

4.     Make arrangements to pay any debts from the deceased’s own money or from any relative or friend.

5.     Remember that it is permissible to kiss the deceased.

6.     Hasten to prepare the body for washing, shrouding and burial.

When seeing or learning of the death of a loved one, the believer should try to remain calm and be patient.  Remembering Allah and saying Alhamdulillah will help ease the pain and grief. Being sad and overwhelmed is normal and weeping is certainly allowed.  However, screaming, beating the chest, pulling out the hair or tearing one’s clothes are not permissible.

Preparing the body for burial


Islam has given us a comprehensive set of instructions for preparing a body for burial.  Washing the body of a dead believer is fard kifayah, which means that it is a collective obligation.  If someone does this then it is done on behalf of the Muslim community.  Failure to wash the body is not only a failure by the next of kin or family; it is a failure by the whole community.

The deceased should be washed by close family members of the same gender.  If no relative is available then it must be the most trustworthy and pious people present.  Nowadays washing the body is often left to qualified Muslims in the mortuary section of an Islamic centre or mosque, or a government facility.

Washing the deceased believer should be carried out in a dignified manner ensuring that the body is always handled gently and carefully.  Those who wash the body should be…

1.     Trustworthy and thus not talk about what they might see.

2.     Know the Islamic way to wash the dead.

3.     Not comment on the body

4.     Be of the same gender as the deceased.  If the deceased is married, the spouse can perform the washing.  If the deceased is a child the parents may perform the washing or either gender.

Shrouding


After washing the deceased, the body should be placed in a shroud; a cloth that a deceased Muslim is wrapped in for burial.  In some places, due to council by-laws the use of a coffin is often mandated.   In these cases the body would be wrapped in a shroud before being placed in the coffin.  The shroud should be big enough to cover the entire body, should be clean and made from inexpensive white material.  Silk should be avoided for men and perfuming the shroud is allowable.

The Funeral Prayer


The funeral prayer of a Muslim is called Salat ul-Janazah and it is fard kifayah.  That is, the Muslim community is obligated to say the funeral prayer.  However it is not mandatory that there is a congregation, if even one person says the prayer the obligation has been fulfilled.  Muslims should never hesitate to take part in this prayer whether or not they know the deceased or his family.   The prayer is performed to seek forgiveness and mercy for the deceased and all Muslims.  Salat ul-Janazah should be performed outside the mosque and the body should be placed in front of the person leading the prayer.  The normal conditions for prayer are the same although the prayer does differ significantly.  It is said silently, except for the takbir and tasleem, and there is no bowing or prostration. 

Burial


As short a time as possible should elapse between the death and the burial, and the deceased should, under normal circumstances, be buried in the locality in which he lived rather than be transported to another town or country.  After the funeral prayer the body should be transferred to the Muslim cemetery or the Muslim section of any cemetery.  Brisk walking is recommended.  Those accompanying the funeral procession should not raise their voices with crying or dhikr.  Women are usually not permitted to accompany a funeral procession.

Muslim graves and cemeteries are characterised by their simplicity.  The grave should be dug perpendicular to the qiblah, and the body should be placed in the grave on its right side, facing the qiblah.  After the body is in the grave, a layer of wood or stones should be placed on top to prevent direct contact between the body and the soil that will fill the grave.  Each mourner then places three handfuls of soil into the grave.

Points to remember-


1.     There is no special dhikr to be recited.

2.     Quran should not be recited in the cemetery.

3.     There is no Islamic teaching of putting flowers, food, water or money around the grave to benefit the deceased.

4.     There is no ruling requiring an animal to be slaughtered before or after the burial.

It is allowable to leave a mark or place a stone on the grave in order to remember the location.  And after the burial, the deceased’s relatives may stay in the cemetery to make du’a because it is believed that at this time the deceased is being questioned by the angels.[1]

Condolences


The offering of condolences is an important act of kindness.  It entails sharing the grief of the people affected and offering comfort.  There is no limit to the period of time when one can offer condolences, however, the words should be chosen carefully and be gentle, encouraging patience and the acceptance of Allah’s will.  When visiting the home of the bereaved a person should only stay a short time unless an offer of assistance has been accepted and necessitates staying longer.  Friends and neighbours usually prepare food to alleviate some of the burden felt by the grieving family.

Islamic scholars say that if a Muslim offers condolences to another Muslim he should say, “We all belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.” It is permissible to add something similar to this du’a once made by Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, “O Allah! Forgive (name of the deceased), elevate his status among the guided people and look after the family that he left behind.  O Lord of the universe, forgive us and him, comfort him in his grave and lighten his stay (in the grave).”[2]  If someone wants to give condolences to a non-Muslim, he should say “We all belong to Allah and to Him we shall return,” and add any customary forms of condolence that are free from religious connotations. 

When a non-Muslim relative dies


A Muslim is able to make the funeral arrangements for his non-Muslim relative if there is no one else to perform this duty.  Although it is a subject of scholarly dispute, generally it is also permissible to attend the funerals of non-Muslim relatives provided you do not commit an act that is against the Shariah.  It is part of keeping up good family relationships and showing relatives the best manners inherent in Islam.  It is not permitted for a Muslim to pray for forgiveness[3] for his deceased non-Muslim relatives or friends, however instead he should turn to Allah for comfort and hope in His mercy.