His Manners and Ethics: The Prophet’s Patience (PBUH):
Patience is a defining quality of Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be upon Him, He was patient and diligent while delivering the Message of Islam and calling people to the religion. This journey took twenty three years, but He was never hopeless, and He did not abandon the call to Islam till it reached faraway places and regions where Islam was destined to reach. Looking at the next situations we can see the true patience of Prophet Muhammad which represents a model to follow for every believer in every field of life.
His patience, Peace Be upon Him, regarding the abuse of Queish Tribe during his stay in Makkah, they hit him and threw the camel’s abdominal contents on His back. They cursed Him and they accused Him of being mad one time and being a black magician, a sorcerer and a poet. They tortured His followers and blockaded Him, His followers and the Hashimets for three years in Sho’eb Abi Talib (a place between two mountains). They even decided to murder Him and sent men to assassinate Him, but the Almighty Lord protected Him.
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) endured the wrongdoing of Qureish, He kept making Dawah, and in three years only forty men embraced Islam and followed Him. His call was never founded on miracles, the unseen or unexplainable phenomenon, and when a solar eclipse took place during the time when His son Ibrahim died and people mentioned that it happened because of the death of Ibrahim, He said the solar eclipse is a sign and a miracle by Allah, and the sun does not become eclipsed for the death or birth of anyone.
The Prophet, Peace Be upon, Him was patient towards ignorance and rudeness, Abdullah narrated: Allah’s Messenger (Peace Be upon Him) distributed spoils (of war). Upon this a person said: This is a distribution in which the pleasure of Allah has not been sought. I came to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and informed him about it, His face turned red of anger and He then said: May Allah have mercy on Prophet Moses, he was tormented more than this, but he was patient.” (Hadith Sahih, authenticated by Ahmed) [3]
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) was patient during the year of sadness, when His kind wife Khadijah died, She was the first one to believe Him when people did not, she sheltered Him when people banished Him, She supported Him when people denied Him, and comforted Him when people accused Him of lying...
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was also patient when His kind uncle died, this uncle protected and defended him during the most difficult time when Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) started to call to Islam. All these tribulations did not wear Him down, He met all that with patience, and no one become His match or even close especially when it comes to patience and perseverance, for He is unique in what He accomplished.
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) was also patient in facing hunger and even starvation; Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had never eaten barely bread twice a day! If He wanted, He would have enjoyed dominion and ruling, but He preferred the Hereafter and its reward. An example of the Prophet’s perseverance is during the Battle of the Trench, when the companions would tie a stone on their bellies of hunger and He used to do the same along with them due to pangs of hunger.
The Prophet (Peace Be upon Him) was patient when His son Ibrahim died, the Prophet had Ibrahim when He was sixty years of age with His wife Maria. He was content with Allah’s decree, and He said: “Our eyes shed tears and our hearts are filled with grief, but we do not say anything except that by which Allah is pleased. O, Ibrahim we are sorrowful due to your separation.”
The Prophet (Peace Be upon Him) was also patient when all his children died during His lifetime, except for Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, she died six months after him.
The Prophet (Peace Be upon Him) was also patient during all battles, during Badr, Uhud, and the Battle of the Trench, opening Makkah, the Battle of Hunayn, and when the entire population of al-Ta’ef harassed Him when He went to call them to Islam. In Tabuk, He did not become frightened or defeated, and He did not fail or become bored. He fought several wars and led several expeditions. He has been leading battles for ten years. [4] So, what a great deal of patience!
The Prophet’s Humbleness
The Prophet was humble, he did not pursue the worldly pleasures, if he wanted, it would have been his. He wanted the reward of Allah and the afterlife. So, Allah blessed him with the pleasures of this world and the hereafter. Almighty Allah links His Name with the Prophet’s name, Mujahed interprets the verse in Surat al-Dhuha “…and elevated your renown for you?” that Allah’s name when mentioned, the Prophet’s has to be mentioned as well, i.e. “I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.” ([1]) [Sound chain of narration]
Ibn Abbas reported: Allah sent an angel to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, along with the Angel Gabriel, upon him be peace. The angel said, “O Muhammad, Allah Almighty has given you the choice to be a servant-prophet or a king-prophet.” The Prophet turned to Gabriel for advice and Gabriel indicated that he should be humble. The Prophet said, “Rather, I will be a servant-prophet.” Thereafter, the Prophet never ate leisurely until he met his Lord. ([2])
Narrated Umar: I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "Do not exaggerate in praising me as the Christians praised the son of Mary, for I am only a Slave. So, call me the Slave of Allah and His Apostle."
Some Situations which show his humbleness:
Being Humble in his call to Islam:
He used to call people to Islam in Makkah, most of those who accepted his call were the weak and poor in Makkah, because he was lenient with them, he educated them till faith was firm in their hearts. This is usually the nature of the first people to follow Prophets. Almighty Allah commanded Him to sit with them and praised them in the Qur’an: “And patiently stick with those who call upon their Lord morning and evening, seeking His pleasure. Do not let your eyes look beyond them, desiring the luxuries of this worldly life.” (Al-Kahf: 28)
We were six men in the company of Allah's Messenger (Peace be upon him) that the polytheists said to Allah's Apostle (ﷺ): Drive them away so that they may not be overbold upon us. He said: I, Ibn Mas'ud and a person from the tribe of Hudhail, Bilal and two other persons, whose names I do not know (were amongst such persons). And there occurred to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) what Allah wished and he talked with himself that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, revealed: "And do not send away those who call upon their Lord morning and afternoon, seeking His countenance." (Al-‘Ana’am: 52) [Narrated by Muslim]
One time, Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, was busy with one of the revered men of Qureish calling him to accept Islam, Ibn Umm Maktoum came to the Prophet, he was blind, the Prophet turned away from him and focused on calling the revered man, so Almighty Allah admonished him for that (authenticated by Ibn Haban in His Sahih)
References
Authenticated by Imam Muhammad al-Shaffai (204 H) in his musnad (Page 233), narrated by Abi al-Abbas Muhammad al-Assam (346 H) from Al-Rabai ibn Suliman al-Maradi (270H), written by Abu Amr Muhammad ibn Jaffar ibn Mattar al-Nayasabouri (360 H), Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmayah, Beirut.
Authenticated by al-Haffiz Abu Abdul Rahman Ahmad bin Shuaib al-Nissai (303 H), in al-Kubrah (4/171/ No. 6743) Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmayah, Beirut, 1411 H/1991.
The Prophet’s Forbearance
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) was lenient and soft-hearted. Narrated Anas bin Malek: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).” (Bukhari)
Narrated Abu Hurairah that a bedouin urinated in the mosque and some people rushed to catch him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over it. You have been sent to make things easy and not to make them difficult." (Bukhari)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "He who is deprived of forbearance and gentleness is, in fact, deprived of good." (Muslim)
The Prophet (ﷺ) also said: "Allah is Forbearer and He loves forbearance, and rewards for forbearance while He does not reward severity, and does not give for anything besides it (forbearance)." (Muslim)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Whenever there is compassion in something, it adorns it, and whenever it is removed from something it disgraces it." (Muslim)
The Lord taught him good manners, so the Prophet (PBUH) was humble and lenient with the people, and they believed him and embraced Islam, they believed, revered and supported him. Islam dominated the Arabian Peninsula in a few years peacefully, then it spread at the time of the Righteous Caliphs outside the Arabian Peninsula, in a short number of years Islam took over the Levant area, Iraq and Egypt which were the modern and most advanced areas at that time.
He was not Favored over any of His Companions:
One of the aspects of his humbleness is that he did not favor himself over his companions in clothes, assemblies, places where they sit, or any other activity. When a stranger comes to see him, that stranger would not recognize the Prophet (PBUH) from among his companions. Dhimam ibn Thalab’ah entered the Masjid with his camel, he made it kneel and then tie it. Then he said to those in the mosque; 'Which of you is Muhammad?' The Prophet, PBUH, was reclining among them, and they said to him: 'This white man who is reclining.' Narrated by Bukhari
It seems that it was a common thing, that he was not recognized among his companions, so they figured that they should mark his place to be known, so that those who come would recognize him. Abu Dharr and Abu Hurirah narrated that Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, was not recognized by strangers when he was sitting among his companions, so the companions asked Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) to make a special place for him where he would sit, so that people would recognized that He is the Prophet. Abu Hurirah said: We built for him a place to sit in from mud, he used to sit there and we would sit on both sides. (Authenticated by Abu Dawoud in his Sunan)
For his companions, no one was more welcomed or loved than Prophet Muhammad, but when they saw him they would not stand up for him because they knew how much he disliked that. ([1])
Sitting with the Widow, the Needy and the Young:
Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, used to help the needy and the poor, he would fulfill their requests and help them. Abdullah bin Abi Awffa narrated that the Prophet, PBUH, would not be too proud to walk with the widow or the needy, in order to fulfill their needs. (Authenticated by Ad-Dirami in his Musnad)
Thus, he gave the best example in humbleness and kindness, as he (Peace Be upon Him) said: ‘No one humbles himself for Allah’s sake except that Allah raises his rank.” (Bukhari)
Anas reported that a woman had a partial derangement in her mind, so she said: “Allah's Messenger, I want something from you.” He said: Mother of so and so, see on which side of the road you would like (to stand and talk) so that I may do the needful for you. He stood aside with her on the roadside until she got what she needed. (Authenticated by Muslim in his Sahih)
The previous examples show how the Prophet, Peace Be upon Him, had the best of manners such as kindness and humbleness that the young, the old, servants and women would approach him for their needs.
Visiting His Companions, accepting invitations and eating from all kinds of food:
He used to accept invitations and would not say no even if he was invited for a small meal. Anas bin Malek, may Allah be pleased with him, said: A tailor in Madinah invited Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, to a meal of barely bread, stale fat a few days old, containing pumpkin. Anas said: I saw that Allah’s Messenger liked the pumpkin, so I would gave him the pumpkin in the dish. I have always liked the pumpkin ever since that day when I saw him (Peace Be upon Him) liking it.” (Authenticated by in Habahan in His Sahih) [2]
This leader was the furthest person from worldly desires or whims, so it is no wonder that people with the highest principals and morals admire the Prophet, Peace Be upon Him. Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be upon Him, was a man who faced death, danger, aggression, and endured worst kinds of harm and bitterness for an idea that he would not gain anything from it.
The Prophet, Peace Be upon Him, used to milk his sheep, patch his clothes, repair his sandal, and work in the mosque. He helped in digging the trench, carrying dirt and gathering wood. He would allow someone to ride behind him, he disliked when people stood for him, he used to sit where he founded a place, and when he walked, people would walk in front of him and around him.
A person would enter the mosque, and he would not be able to differentiate Muhammad from the rest of his companions because of his humbleness. He would ask, which of you is Muhammad?” He used to eat simple food and wear regular outfits [3]
Ibn Abbas narrated that Allah’s Messenger entered the house of Umm Hanni’ on the Day of the Conquest of Makkah, he was hungry so he asked her: “Do you have any food?”
She said: I have a morsel of hard bread, and I feel too shy to serve it to you!
He said: Bring it to me.
He put it in some water, and she brought some salt. Then, he said: “Do you have any condiment?”
She said: “Only some vinegar.”
He said: Bring it.
When she gave it to him, he poured the vinegar on the bread, and he thanked Allah and praised Him.
The Prophet said: “The best condiment is vinegar. Any house that has condiment is not barren.” That was the meal of Allah’s messenger on the Day of Conquering Makkah (The Biggest Victory). [4]
Kindness to his Wives:
Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be upon Him, dealt with his wives with kindness and good manners, he is the best role model to all husbands. He (PBUH) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi from Aisha)
These situations show his kindness and good treatment with his wives:
The Prophet, Peace Be upon Him, used to let the daughters of Ansar come to play with Aisha. If she liked something that is not forbidden, then he would do it with her. When she drank from a cup, he would drink from the same spot where she put her mouth. He used to lay his head in Aisha’s lap and recite the Qur’an even when she was menstruating, when he wanted to be intimate with her while she was menstruating, he would tell her to wear an izaar (waist wrapper) and then he would be intimate with her. He used to kiss her while he was fasting. He was kind to the point that he would let her play, and show her the Abyssinians playing with their shields and spears while leaning on his shoulder.
The Prophet, Peace Be upon Him, raced Aisha while they were travelling twice, one time she won, and another he won and said: “This is for the last time.”
They scrambled for the door once, and if the Prophet, PBUH, wanted to travel, he would cast lots to choose which wife that would go with him.
When the Prophet prayed Asr, he would visit all his wives and made sure they are well. When it was night, he would go to the one whose day it was, and he would spend the night there. 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: "O my nephew, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) would not prefer some of us over others regarding the division of the time he would spend with us. It was very rare that he would not visit us all, and come near each of his wives without having intercourse with her, till he reached the one whose day it was, and spent the night with her." [Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud, the wording is Abu Dawud's. al-Hakim graded it Sahih (authentic)].
When the Prophet was traveling, he would not come back knocking at his house at night (as this might frighten his family). Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) would not come (back) to his family by night. He used to come in the morning or in the evening (before dark). He commanded them not to go back to their houses at night suddenly. Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "When anyone of you is away from his house for a long time, he should not return to his family at night." (Al-Bukhari) [6]
The Prophet was compassionate and kind with his wives, Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated: Once there was some kind of talk between me and Allah’s Messenger. He said to me, whom do you want as an arbitrator between the two of us? Do you accept Abi Ubaidah’s judgment? She said: No, this man is lenient, he will judge in your favor. He said: Do you accept your dad’s judgment? She said: Yes
When Abu Bakr came, Allah’s Messenger said: “Tell him.” She said: “No, you tell him.” Allah’s Messenger said: “She did so and so.” I said: “Be fair!”[7] Abu Bakr slapped me and said: “Do you say ‘Be Fair’ to Allah’s Messenger, daughter of Um Ar-Rumman? Whom else would be fair if it was not Allah’s Messenger? Her nose was bleeding (due to the slap), Allah’s messenger kept separating between the two of them saying to Abu Bakr: “We did not want this from you.” Aisha said: “He kept washing the blood from my clothes and said, ‘can you see now how I saved you from the man.’” [8]
Narrated Anas: While the Prophet (ﷺ) was in the house of one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet (ﷺ) was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break. The Prophet (ﷺ) gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish and said, "Your mother (my wife) felt jealous." Then he detained the servant till a (sound) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the sound dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken.
Allah’s Messenger, as we have seen, was just like anybody else at his home, he would take care of his needs, help his wives in what they need, setting a role model for the people to follow. The Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be upon Him, said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Authenticated by Ibn Haban in his Sahih)
Narrated Al-Aswad: That he asked `Aisha "What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?" She replied, "He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it." (Bukhari)
In another narration Aisah said: 'He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed, he would do at his home what anyone of you does at his home." (authenticated by Ibn Haban in His Sahih)
In another narration someone asked Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, “What was the usual practice of Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, at home? She replied: "He was a human from among other humans. He himself removed the lice from his clothing, milked his goats, and did all his work himself". Authenticated by ibn Haban in his sahih [9]
He used to advise His family to be lenient, Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her narrated that Allah’s Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, said to her: “Aisha, be lenient. When Allah wills to bless a household with goodness, He guides them to the door of leniency (commit to leniency).” In another narration: “When Allah wills to bless a household, He bestows them with leniency.” (Narrated by Ahmed, Al-Mundhiri)
Mother of the Believers, Aishah, may Allah Be pleased with her, said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to her, "I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me." I said, "How do you know that?" He said, "When you are pleased with me, you say, 'No, by the Lord of Muhammad,' but when you are angry with me, then you say, 'No, by the Lord of Abraham.'" (Sahih al-Bukhari)
In this blessed hadith there are many indications of Allah’s Messenger patience with women, his kindness, forbearance and compassion he has towards his wives. The hadith indicates that the Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, does not resent the fact that his wife sometimes gets mad at him, this implies guidance to today’s husbands who denounce the anger of their wives and they do not try to make amends with them, or reconcile. Also, the way he knew how she was angry with him, and how he tells her in a funny way…this also indicates his leniency and forbearance. This comes from the Best of Humanity, the Seal of Prophets and Messengers! So, any person should not feel offended if his wife gets angry at him and should not be too proud to make up with her. The hadith also shows his humility with his wife, as he makes amends with her and tries to please her. Our kind Prophet is a mercy to all humanity and the world! [10]
References
A hadith that the companions did not stand for the Prophet when He, Peace Be upon Him, entered… The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do not exaggerate in praising me as the Christians praised the son of Mary, for I am only a Slave. So, call me the Slave of Allah and His Apostle."
Yahya bin Abdullah al-Bakri, “Athar Mu’amalet ar-Rasoul fi nashr al-Islam” (The effect of the Messenger’s Treatment in spreading Islam)
Anwar al-Gindy, “Aqbas men al-Sirah al-Atirah” (Lights from the Prophetic Traditions) Page 94-95.
Previous reference, page 96.
A group of Abyssinians who played at the mosque of the Messenger, Peace Be upon Him, with their shields and spears.
http://sirah.al-islam.com/disp...
That means tell the truth, and it was a joke by Aisha, she only meant to be playful with her husband, peace be upon him.
Muhammad Abdu Qinawi, “Azaheer Nabaweya”, Page 215-216.
Yahya bin Abdullah al-Bakri, “Athar Mu’amalet ar-Rasoul fi nashr al-Islam” (The effect of the Messenger’s Treatment in spreading Islam)
Muhammad Rasheed al-Awayd, a Message to the Faithful, available on: http://akhawat.islamway.com/fo...
