I Don’t Want My Husband to Have Heavenly Maidens

QI have read many hadiths and qur’anic verses regarding that men will be given the hoor al ayn (Heavenly Maidens) in Paradise.

I believed that I was going to work on my faith together with my husband and Inshallah we would be together in Jannah.

After reading more about the hoor al ayn, I just feel like I want to be single again and so I do not have to worry about meeting my husband in Paradise if I don’t have one.

It kills me from inside knowing that the one I truly love will be given other women just because of their lust of women. I’m sorry but, aaothoobillah, it disgusts me.

I always thought there will be no filth in Jannah, and that lust is a feeling of filth, so why will that exist there?

Would it be permissible for me to separate from my husband? I feel like if I had no attachment with a spouse, then Inshallah I wouldn’t need one in the hereafter.


ANSWER

In this counseling answer:

• The Hoor al-Ayn (heavenly maidens) is merely one small part of the many, many rewards of Jannah. Indeed, each believer who enters Jannah will need only think of what they want, and it will be given to them.

• We as believing women will receive greater than anything we can imagine in comparison to the heavenly maidens. This thought should bring a great deal of comfort to our hearts.

•  In Islam, sexual desire and feelings of lust are not considered evil or filthy; rather, they are part of our creation, as both men and women, and there is nothing wrong about having such feelings.

•  Ask Allah to ease your heart, to renew your faith in Him, and to make you amongst the people of Jannah – with your husband.

As-Salaam ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakaatuh,


Thank you for contacting AboutIslam.net with your questions. I understand that you are experiencing a great deal of emotional and spiritual turmoil right now.

There are a number of things which you have mentioned in your question that deserves taking the time to explain from an Islamic perspective.

To begin with, Jannah is a place of incredible, beautiful, and amazing reward that Allah has promised for all believers, both male and female.

{Allah has promised the believing men and believing women gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence; but approval from Allah is greater. It is that which is the great attainment.} (Qur’an 9:72)

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace, and blessings be upon him, said,

“Allah has said: I have prepared for My righteous servants what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no imagination has fathomed…” ( Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3292)

In Jennah You Have Everything You Desire


The Qur’an describes Jannah in numerous ways, with dazzling palaces, rivers of wine and honey, lush gardens, and so much more.

The concept of heavenly maidens is merely one small part of the many, many rewards of Jannah. Indeed, each believer who enters Jannah will need only think of what they want, and it will be given to them. Allah’s Mercy and Reward are vast and endless. Nothing He does or decrees for us – especially in Jannah! – is meant to cause us distress or harm in any way.

In addition, we ourselves as human beings will be changed. We will feel no anger, no sorrow, no hurt feelings, and no negative emotions whatsoever.

We will be elevated forms of our human selves, both physically and emotionally. Those things which cause us to hurt feelings in this world will dissipate. We will have only love for fellow believers, and deep joy and appreciation at having being given the amazing reward of Paradise.

{And We shall remove from their hearts any hatred or sense of injury …} (Quran 7:43)

“There will be no hatred or resentment among them, their hearts will be as one, and they will glorify God, morning and evening.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

As you can see from this, Jannah is a place far beyond anything we can imagine; the descriptions we are given in the Qur’an and Sunnah provide us with only the tiniest glimpse of what there is to look forward to. The reality of Jannah will be far more beautiful and incredible than anything we can conceptualize in this world.

Allah’s Wisdom


Having said that, there is no denying that the heavenly maidens do exist. Allah created them, in His Wisdom, and this is something which we cannot reject from the Qur’an. Yet, what is often not mentioned is that the believing women who enter Jannah will themselves be far superior to the heavenly maidens!

Umm Salamah (Radia-Allahu Anha) narrates that she said to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam):

“O Rasûlullah, are the women of this world superior or the hûr (of Paradise)?”

He replied, “The women of this world will have superiority over the hûr just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining.”

Umm Salamah then asked, “O Rasûlullah, what is the reason for this?” He answered, “Because they performed salâh, fasted, and worshipped [Allah]. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies.

[The human women] will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold.

They will say, ‘We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty.

We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.’” [Tabarânî]

Feeling Inferior


No, Muslim women should feel inferior to the heavenly maidens, for we are far superior to them in every way. The reward that we as believing women will receive greater than anything we can imagine in comparison to the heavenly maidens. This thought should bring a great deal of comfort to our hearts.

We will have whatever our hearts desire, knowing that Allah is the Most Just and the Most Generous. He never does anything to hurt us, nor does He treat us with injustice or in an unfair manner.

Check out this counseling video:

While it is understandable that the thought of “sharing” one’s husband is difficult, there are a couple of things to think about as well.

You mentioned that “lust” is a “filthy feeling” – however, this is a statement which in and of itself must be questioned and reevaluated.

Sexual Desire


In Islam, sexual desire and feelings of lust are not considered evil or filthy. Rather, they are part of our creation, as both men and women, and there is nothing wrong about having such feelings.

What we are commanded to do is to control our desires so that we do not commit zina or other acts of sexual intimacy outside of marriage. Both men and women have physical drives and sexual instincts. We should never feel ashamed or dirty for experiencing those feelings.

Again, the emphasis is on controlling our actions and ensuring that we do not cross the boundaries and rules that Allah has laid down for us.

In Jannah, lust will exist for believing men and believing women as well. Every Muslim who enters Jannah will have a spouse, whether or not they were married in this world. Every Muslim will enjoy a beautiful, intimate, and pleasing sexual relationship with that spouse.

Whether in this world or the next, we should never consider our natural sexual desires to be filthy or evil. Rather, the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us that fulfilling our sexual needs in a halaal manner is a means of earning reward.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife).” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that?”

He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded. ” (Muslim 720)

Divorce?


Separating from or divorcing one’s husband for no legitimate complaint is something severely disliked by Allah. Indeed, Shaytan delights in breaking up marriages. Especially in a case like this, where there is no abuse or even incompatibility, one must be very careful that we don’t fall for his tricks.

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

“Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” (Muslim 2813)

RasulAllah also warned us against seeking divorce for invalid reasons:

“If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her.” (Tirmidi 1187)

Rather than focusing on a misplaced sense of pain with regards to the Hereafter, turn to Allah. Ask Him to strengthen both your marriage and your sense of trust in Him.

Read, learn, Renew Your Faith


Know that Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Loving, and the Most Just. He created Paradise for us as a place of joy and comfort and contentment, not of pain and difficulty.

Ask Allah to ease your heart, to renew your faith in Him, and to make you amongst the people of Jannah – with your husband. It is of utmost importance for every believer to focus on living our daily lives in a manner pleasing to Allah. He may be pleased with us, and so that we may become those who are blessed with Jannah.

We all struggle with various spiritual challenges. The key to overcoming them is to turn to Allah and seek His assistance in overcoming those struggles.

{O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.} (Qur’an 2:153)

I pray that you are able to find peace and tranquility in your heart. May you and your husband have a beautiful and blessed marriage, both in this world and in the Hereafter.

Ameen.

Je suis assise dans la grande mosquée de l’Université Internationale Islamique de Malaisie. J’écoute l’appel à la prière «‘Adhân».

Mes yeux sont remplis de larmes. Je n’arrive pas à réaliser qu’Allah m’a ramenée ici et m’a permis d’écouter l’appel à la Salât cinq fois par jour, sept jour sur sept.

Je ressens dans mon cœur une gratitude immense qui fait que je respire difficilement.

Allah m’a encore sauvée, une fois de plus.

J’invoque Allah pour que chaque personne se trouvant dans cette mosquée et pour que chaque membre de la Communauté musulmane «Oumma» obtienne cette félicité à laquelle Allah nous appelle à chaque «‘Adhân».

La Réussite «Al-Falâh»!


Et je m’incline pour Lui, mon Créateur, mon Ami intime.

Cela fait maintenant dix ans qu’Allah a conduit mon cœur vers l’acceptation de Son Appel et que je suis devenue Sa servante. Je ne sais pas pourquoi Il m’a choisie pour me gratifier de Sa guidance, ni pourquoi Il a mis la lumière de l’Islam dans mon cœur.

Pourquoi a-t-Il choisi cette jeune femme issue d’une famille athée de l’ex RDA communiste pour qu’elle s’incline pour Lui? Mais j’invoque chaque jour Celui qui fait tourner les cœurs, de raffermir mon cœur sur Sa religion.

Mon Enfance


Durant mon enfance, personne ne mentionnait Dieu. Il n’y avait aucune croix nulle part, ni statut de Jésus ni de Marie, ni aucun autre signe religieux.

La vie était vide de toute forme de spiritualité.

Nous célébrions Noël uniquement parce que c’était une tradition allemande. Il y avait alors le sapin, les bougies et les chants de Noël. Parfois, cela introduisait une atmosphère méditative dans mon cœur. Nous n’allions jamais à l’église et nous ne priions rien ni personne.

Mes parents furent élevés et endoctrinés dans le régime communiste-socialiste de l’ex-République Démocratique Allemande. En tant qu’étudiants brillants et prometteurs, ils furent envoyés à «la grande sœur», la Russie, pour étudier la langue et le communisme marxiste pendant cinq ans.

De retour au pays, ils travaillèrent à l’université. Ils avaient la conviction qu’il n’y avait aucun Dieu, et que la religion était la création des humains et l’opium du peuple. Ils ne discriminaient jamais les personnes qui avaient une croyance, sauf que ce n’était pas pour eux.

Ma grand-mère maternelle était la seule à avoir gardé une forme de croyance dans son cœur et, bien qu’elle ne le manifestât pas ouvertement, elle disait parfois qu’elle priait pour nous. Elle avait aussi ce «sixième sens» qu’ont souvent les croyants âgés. Je me sentais toujours bien chez elle et en sa compagnie même si elle ne parlait pas beaucoup.

A La Recherche De La Spiritualité


A cause de l’absence de toute forme de spiritualité dans ma famille, mon esprit était agité. A mesure que j’avançais en âge, cette agitation affectait de plus en plus mon existence toute entière. Je réfléchissais, cherchais, criais et pleurais en espérant que cette agitation cesse. J’étais rebelle et impulsive et je me comportais mal.

Je m’isolais. Je marchais pieds nus sous la pluie glaciale pour éteindre ce feu d’agitation à l’intérieur de moi et regardais le ciel, encore et encore.

Durant mes dernières années de lycée, j’ai commencé à voyager. J’ai passé une année aux Etats-Unis et j’ai fait plusieurs voyages à travers les routes du pays. Agitée. J’ai pris mon sac à dos et je suis partie en Asie du Sud-est. Agitée. Je cherchais.

La Méditation Sur Sa Création


Une nuit au Laos, je me suis allongée sur une natte et j’ai commencé à regarder le ciel sombre. Je n’avais jamais vu autant d’étoiles. J’avais l’impression que la terre bougeait. En regardant l’espace, j’ai su, j’avais la certitude et je ressentais profondément dans mon cœur qu’il y avait une Existence Supérieure, un Créateur de cet univers et qu’il y avait quelqu’un qui me regardait. Je venais de le savoir. Au milieu de la jungle du Laos, j’ai ressenti Dieu.

Quelques jours plus tard, j’ai voyagé au Delta du Mékong au sud du Laos. Je me suis assise sur la véranda d’une cabane en bambou et j’ai commencé à regarder la fabuleuse rivière. C’était la source de survie de l’Asie du Sud-est, la rivière nourricière. Elle s’étendait sur 20 kilomètres de large et se remplissait de toutes les histoires collectées le long de son passage à travers le pays. J’étais impressionnée par cette merveilleuse création. Le flux lourd d’eau marron clair a coulé dans mon propre cœur et a évacué l’agitation tout le temps que je le regardais. Au même moment, il déposa un message de son Créateur dans mon cœur. La certitude de l’existence de Dieu grandit.

A Sa Recherche


Après ces deux expériences vécues avec la création d’Allah, je me suis mise à Le chercher avec beaucoup de sérieux et d’empressement. Je L’ai cherché dans les pagodes et dans les enseignements du bouddhisme Theravada en Thaïlande et au Cambodge. Au point où j’en étais, j’ai souhaité intégrer un monastère bouddhiste en tant qu’apprentie.

Je L’ai cherché dans les Temples hindous balinais. J’ai essayé de me rapprocher de Lui par la pratique du yoga et de la méditation. J’ai rencontré différentes sectes chrétiennes…

Le feu de l’agitation augmenta, se déchaîna et s’intensifia à l’extrême. Par ailleurs, j’étais fatiguée. Fatiguée du monde, et du voyage. Je trouvais que ma vie n’avait pas de sens. Je ne voyais pas pourquoi je devais travailler, me battre pour tout. Je sentais que j’avais tout essayé, fait et vu. Rien ne pouvait plus me satisfaire.

Quand Je Me Suis Tournée Vers Lui


A ce moment-là, j’ai commencé à lire quelques parties d’une traduction allemande des sens du Coran, étant donné que toutes les autres religions ne me convenaient pas et ce pour des raisons diverses.

En fait, j’ai choisi de lire les passages qui concernaient les sujets relatifs aux femmes, notamment le voile, pour m’assurer que c’était bien loin de ma vision du monde qui était libérale et qui tenait à la liberté.

Je ne sais pas comment c’est arrivé ni pourquoi. Mais par la suite, un jour, Allah, Celui qui fait tourner les cœurs, a fait tourner mon cœur vers Lui. Il a éteint la chaleur brulante de l’agitation qui était dans mon cœur par la fraîcheur de Sa guidance. Je me suis assise sur une natte de prière et j’ai prononcé l’attestation de foi.

A ce moment-là, je ne savais pas beaucoup de choses sur l’Islam. Je ne savais pas comment accomplir la Salât, ni comment réciter le Coran. Mais je ressentais qu’Allah avait enlevé de mon cœur l’agitation qui m’avait si longtemps perturbée.

Par la louange d’Allah, une nouvelle vie commençait.