Every time he improves in worship, he goes back to sin
Question
I have a problem. Every time I do more acts of worship and my faith improves and I do more naafil acts of worship, Sunnahs and things that are mustahabb, I end up committing the secret habit (masturbation) despite the fact that I am married and have a happy family life. When I do this thing I feel that I am committing sin and I feel ashamed before Allaah. So I strive to increase my faith but it is not long before I do the same thing again. I am in a bad situation – please help me.
I heard on a tape that some people are filled with self-admiration when they increase their acts of worship, so Allaah causes them to commit sin so that they will realize that they are still slaves who have no right to admire their deeds, and whatever they do is still only a little. Am I one of these people? Is what I understood from that tape correct?
Please note that, praise be to Allaah, I pray and adhere to most of the teachings of Islam, but this problem gets worse every time I do more naafil acts of worship. What is the solution? Please help me, may Allaah reward you with good.
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
What you have mentioned – that Allaah may test a person with sin in order to bring him back to Him, and so that he will not admire himself – has been mentioned by some of the scholars. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Sin may be more beneficial for a person, if it leads him to repent, than doing a lot of acts of worship. This is what is meant by the words of one of the salaf: ‘A person may commit a sin and enter Paradise because of it, or he may do an act of worship and enter Hell because of it.’ They said: ‘How is that?’ He said: ‘He may commit a sin and continues to think about it, and when he stands or sits or walks he remembers his sin, so he feels ashamed and repents and seeks forgiveness and regrets it, so that will be the means of his salvation. And he may do a good deed and continue to think about it, and when he stands or sits or walks he remembers it and it fills him with self-admiration and pride, so it is the cause of his doom. So the sin may be the factor that leads him to do acts of worship and good deeds and to change his attitude so that he fears Allaah and feels shy before Him and feels humiliated before Him, hanging his head in shame and weeping with regret, seeking he forgiveness of his Lord. Each of these effects is better for a person than an act of worship that makes him feel proud and show off and look down on people. Undoubtedly this sin is better before Allaah and is more likely to bring salvation than one who admires himself and looks down on others, and who thinks that he is doing Allaah a favour. Even if he says words that indicate something other than that, Allaah is the Witness over what is in his heart. Such a person may feel hatred towards people if they do not hold him in high esteem and humiliate themselves before him. If he were to examine himself honestly, he would see that clearly.” Madaarij al-Saalikeen, 1/299
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:
“How often is it the case that one of us will be better after committing sin than he was before. In many instances a person errs and falls into sin, then he feels ashamed in his heart before Allaah and he turns to Him and repents to Him, so that he thinks of that sin all the time and continually regrets it and seeks forgiveness. But another person may think that he is obedient (towards Allaah) and that he is one of the people who obey and worship Him, so he starts to admire himself and does not turn to Allaah, which adversely affects his religious commitment. Allaah is Wise and may test a person with sin in order to set him straight, just as He may test a person with hunger in order to improve his health. Adam was only chosen after he had committed sin and repented therefrom.
As Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Then his Lord chose him, and turned to him with forgiveness, and gave him guidance” [Ta-Ha 20:122] i.e., after he had sinned and repented, his Lord chose him and accepted his repentance and guided him. Looks at those who stayed behind from the campaign of Tabook – what happened to them? Undoubtedly their faith increased and they attained a higher status than they had before. Could the verses concerning them that will be recited until the Day of Resurrection have been revealed if they had not done that then repented to Allaah?”
al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 3/66
Moreover it should be noted that this habit is haraam according to sharee’ah, as is indicated by the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). We have already quoted the evidence in detail in the answer to question no. 329. This habit is also something that is regarded as repulsive according to man’s instincts and reason, and it is not befitting for a Muslim to lower himself to the level of doing that.
It should also be noted that sin has a negative effect on a person in this world and in the Hereafter, if he does not repent and if Allaah does not bestow His mercy upon him. We have already discussed this in detail in the following questions: 23425 and 8861.
There are causes for this habit, so keep away from them so that you will be able to give it up. You should do the following things:
1-Strive to keep company with good, righteous, pious people, and learn from them and their experiences.
2-Always remember Allaah and recite Qur’aan, and adopt a daily wird (collection of du’aa’s and dhikrs) that you recite every day without fail.
3-Set yourself a program for learning Islamic knowledge etc.
4-Set yourself an exercise program, or join a sports club
5-Do a lot of naafil acts of worship, especially voluntary fasts, for this is an important means of resisting temptation and reducing desire.
6-Strive in making du’aa’ and ask Allaah to rid you of this forbidden bad habit and to strengthen your resolve.
7-Remember that the harms caused by the secret habit are innumerable; it weakens the body, saps one’s strength, and increases the distance between a person and his Lord. It is a major factor in depression and feelings of sin.
8-Avoid being alone as much as possible, because this habit is one of the effects of being alone.
9-Try to pray in the mosque, and pray qiyaam al-layl, because this will bring tranquility to the heart.
10-Finally, you have to repent continually, weep with fear of Allaah, humble yourself before Him, and ask Him to forgive you. If you resolve firmly each time not to go back to that habit, then your nafs threatens to overwhelm you, then resist it. “But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts, Verily, Paradise will be his abode” [al-Naazi’aat 79:40 – interpretation of the meaning]. If you give in, then repent anew, and renew your promise (not to do it again). Do not despair of the mercy of Allaah, and do a great deal of naafil acts of worship and righteous deeds. “And perform As-Salaat (Iqaamat-as- Salaat), at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaat (prayers)]. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)” [Hood 11:114].
May Allaah help you to do all that is good.
The Muslim should hate the sin, and hate the sinner’s committing of that sin. If he sees him committing a sin, he should denounce it, advise him, remind him of Allah, alarm him by reminding him of punishment that may come in this world or the Hereafter, pray for him, seek refuge with Allah from falling into the same sin, and not help the Shaytaan against his Muslim brother.
Al-Bukhaari (6777) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man who had drunk alcohol was brought to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he said: “Beat him.” Abu Hurayrah said: Some of us beat him with their hands, some beat him with their sandals, and some beat him with their garments. When they had finished, one of the people said: May Allah disgrace you. [The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)] said: “Do not say such things; do not help the Shaytaan against him.”
It was also narrated by Ahmad (7985) as follows: “Do not say such things; do not help the Shaytaan against him. Rather you should say: ‘May Allah have mercy on you.’” Its isnaad is saheeh according to the conditions of al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
It was also narrated by Abu Daawood (4478) and al-Bayhaqi (17495) as follows:
A man who had drunk alcohol was brought to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who instructed his Companions to beat him. Some of them beat him with their sandals, some with their hands and some with their garments. Then he said “Enough!” Then he instructed them to rebuke him and tell him how reprehensible his deed was, and they said: Do you not feel embarrassed before the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to have done such a thing? Then he let him go, and when he turned to leave, the people began to pray against him and revile him, and one of them said: O Allah, put him to shame, O Allah, curse him. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not say such things; rather say: O Allah, forgive him, O Allah, have mercy on him.”
This hadith was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Do not help the Shaytaan against your brother”: the way in which they would be helping the Shaytaan is that by making the sin fair-seeming to him, the Shaytaan wants to bring shame and disgrace upon him, so if they pray for him to be put to shame, it is as if they are fulfilling the aim of the Shaytaan.
End quote from Fath al-Baari (12/67).
Al-Qaari (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Al-Qaadi said: If the Most Gracious puts him to shame, the Shaytaan will have power him. Or, when he hears those words, he will despair of the mercy of Allah and will persist in sin. Or he may become angry and stubborn, which will make him persist in sin, so this supplication against him will become a cause of his persisting in his evil deeds.
End quote from Mirqaat al-Mafaateeh (6/2374).
Abu Daawood narrated in az-Zuhd (232) from Abu Qilaabah that he said: A man was taken past Abu’d-Dardaa’ for a hadd punishment that he had incurred, and the people hurled insults at him. He said: Do not revile your brother, and praise Allah Who has protected you from sin. He said: Don’t you think that if you saw him in a dry well, you would rescue him and bring him out? They said: Yes. He said: So do not revile your brother, and praise Allah who has protected you from sin. It was said to him: Don’t you hate him? He said: I do not hate him; rather I hate his action, and if he gives it up, he will be my brother.
To sum up:
The Muslim should sincerely advise his Muslim brother and love good for him. If he falls into sin, he should not help the Shaytaan against him, or pray against him, or despise him; rather he should advise him sincerely, rebuke him and hate his action; he should ask Allah to protect him, and pray that He conceal his companion’s faults, enable him to repent, and forgive him.
But if this sinner commits a sin openly and blatantly, then this is blameworthy and reprehensible; and he should be hated for the sake of Allah commensurate with his sin. All possible measures should be taken to stop him and protect the people from his evil, even if that is by means of shunning him, because he is persisting in sin and boasting about it, and people are no longer safe from his evil.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly, and it is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at night, then in the morning when his Lord has concealed him he says: O So and so, I did such and such last night, when his Lord had concealed him all night, but in the morning he discloses that which Allah had concealed for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5721) and Muslim (2990).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If a man commits evil deeds openly, then he must be denounced openly, and speaking ill of him will not be regarded as gheebah (backbiting). He should be punished openly with a punishment that will deter him, such as shunning and other punishments. He may not be greeted with salaam and his greeting may not be returned, provided that the one who does that is able to do it without it causing certain trouble. Good people and religiously-committed people should shun him after he dies, by not attending his funeral, as they shunned him when he was alive, if that could serve the purpose of deterring other sinners of his ilk.
End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (28/217).
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Whoever commits sin openly and blatantly has angered his Lord and He will not conceal him.
Whoever conceals his sin out of shyness before his Lord and before the people, Allah will bless him by concealing his sin.
End quote from Fath al-Baari (10/488).
So there is a differentiation between the one who is overcome by his nafs [lower self] and follows his whims and desires, and thus disobeys Allah, but he does not commit his sin openly or persist in it, so his shortcoming should be concealed, and he should be advised and reminded of Allah, and we should pray that he be guided, and he should not be despised or humiliated, and he should be called to repent, then if he repents, perhaps after he repents he may be better off than he was before he committed the sin;
and this is in contrast to the one who blatantly, stubbornly and defiantly commits sin openly and boasts about it; he should be denounced and advised, and we should pray that he be guided too. Then if he persists and does not stop, he should be punished and spoken ill of among people, and they should shun him and shame him, and warn people against him.
It cannot be said of such a person that perhaps he is better before Allah than us, because his state is the worst of states, for he is exposed to the wrath and anger of Allah, and His imminent punishment.
We ask Allah to turn to us and to every Muslim in mercy.
And Allah knows best.
She grew up stealing, and she doesn’t pray or fast, but she wants to repent
Question
I have been stealing for as long as I can remember, I realise this is wrong! There comes few days when I stop doing this, askkk for lots of forgiveness but then I start doing it again, I got many problems due to this with my in-laws, and till that date I decided not to do this again, then I didn't do it for almost a year but then I started doing this again, started by small stuff leading towards bigger stuff... I just can't get how to stop this habit, got bitten, got polite lectures, almost tried everything! I don't even remember whose pencils did I stole, whose money, juice, chocolate. I also remember stealing from my husband's wallet, bestfriend wallet, mother, father. I don't even pray salah, fast in ramdhan , broke I don't know how many of my fast I broke, don't even have the count Question Im I turning into a kafir? Can I be forgived? How can I get close to Allah?
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
You mention a number of unlawful actions that you have committed, the most serious of which is not praying, because not praying altogether constitutes kufr (disbelief), according to the more correct of the views of the fuqaha’. See the answer to question no. 5208.
Stealing is a major sin, as is failing to fast or breaking the fast deliberately with no excuse.
What you must do is repent to Allah, may He be exalted, offer the prayers on time, fast Ramadan, and give up stealing.
All of that will be easy, in sha Allah, if you are sincere in your repentance to the Lord of the Worlds, and you are serious about giving up these evil actions.
Matters that will help you in that include the following:
1.
Knowing that Allah loves those who repent and accepts the repentance of those who regret their actions. He calls His slaves to repent, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed”
[an-Noor 24:31].
By His grace, Allah, may He be glorified, will turn the bad deeds of the one who repents to good deeds, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty –
Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated –
Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70].
So do not hesitate to repent, and do not think of the magnitude of the sin, for no sin is too great for Allah to forgive; He, may He be glorified, is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful, the Acceptor of repentance. He forgives kufr (disbelief) and shirk (association of others with Him) and lesser sins; He forgives a few sins and many sins, great sins and insignificant sins.
2.
Looking at the blessing that Allah has granted you by causing you to live until you can repent; he did not take your soul in death up till now, so hasten to repent and turn to Him.
3.
Looking at the evil of disobedience and its inherent abhorrent nature. It is evil and abhorrent in the sense that it is ingratitude for the blessing of Allah, and responding to His kindness by disobeying Him. How can a believing woman by happy that Allah sees her committing sin and not doing her religious duties towards Him?
4.
Looking for righteous company, and spending your time in doing acts of obedience and beneficial deeds. There is nothing more harmful to a person than bad company and wasting time in idle pursuits.
5.
Calling upon Allah a great deal in supplication and asking Him to guide you, to open your heart and to make you steadfast in obeying Him. You should understand that you do not have to make up what you missed of prayers and fasts, but you should do a lot of naafil (supererogatory) acts of worship.
With regard to the money and property that you took, you have to return it if you are able to do so. So try to figure out what you took, and return it by any means you can, without telling anyone about that.
If you are unable to do any of that, then it is a debt that you owe, and if Allah causes you to die before you return it to its owners, then if you have repented sincerely, there is the hope that Allah will pardon you and will compensate the owners of that property for their loss.
As this problem is one that is deeply rooted in your case, we advise you to consult a trustworthy psychologist to find out whether you need cognitive or behavioural therapy, or even medicinal treatment, if required.
We ask Allah to forgive you and pardon you, to rectify your condition and help you to obey Him.
And Allah knows best.
Repent before it is too late
Question
Do you have any advice for young men who are indulging in worldly pleasures and who forget to prepare and strive for the Day of Resurrection?.
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
Our advice to negligent youth is to repent before it is too late and before they come to regret not doing their duty towards Allaah. For death may come suddenly; and Allaah may give respite but no wrongdoer can escape His punishment, and He is Almighty and is the One Who wreaks vengeance. Sin has an effect on the body and soul, and its consequences may come in this world, before the Hereafter. They should remember the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning the seven whom Allaah will shade from the heat of the Day of Resurrection in the shade of the Throne: “… and a young man who grew up worshipping Allaah …” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 660; Muslim, 1031. They should feel shy before their Lord and should feel ashamed when the ummah is being attacked by its enemies and needs young people to lead this ummah out of its crisis and to fight the enemy in jihad in obedience to Allaah. They should think of the last verse of the Qur’aan to be revealed, and the last command that Allaah gave to mankind (interpretation of the meaning):
“And fear the Day when you shall be brought back to Allaah. Then every person shall be paid what he earned, and they shall not be dealt with unjustly”
[al-Baqarah 2:281]
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and companions.
