8 Tips to Make Your Child Happy

 

When it comes to children, parents nowadays think of good education, health, success, skills…etc. But What about happiness? Did you ask yourself before if you’ve been raising your child to be happy?

Here, we give you some tips on how to raise a happy child.

1- Get Happy Yourself


Happy parents are more likely to have happy kids, while children of depressed parents suffer twice the average rate of depression.

♠ One of the best things you can do for your child’s emotional well-being is to attend to yours: carve out time for rest, relaxation and nurture your relationship with your spouse.

2- Give Real Responsibilities


Happiness depends largely on the feeling that what we do matters and is valued by others. So the more you can convey to your child that he is making a unique contribution to the family, from an early age, the greater his sense of self-worth and his ultimate happiness is.

♠ If your kid loves to organize things, give him the job of sorting out the forks and spoons. If he is particularly nurturing, perhaps his role could be entertaining his baby sister while you get dinner on the table.

3- Provide More Playtime


Today, children are over-scheduled, dialed in and in awe of toys that essentially do the playing for them. Also they spend less time playing both indoors and out. Indeed, playtime isn’t just goofing off; it is essential to help kids grow and learn.

♠ Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves.

4- Let Them Make Choices


Kids have very little control over their lives. They are constantly being told where to go, what to do and what to eat. A little bit of control goes a long way toward feeling happy.

♠ Let your kids choose their outfits. Allow them to choose the dinner menu one night per week. Ask them what classes they want to take.

5- Teach Them To Build Relationships


Researches show that people who are happiest have more people in their lives, and deeper relationships with those people. Teach your child that while relationships take work, they are worth it

♠ It doesn’t take a lot. It can start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of kindness to build empathy.

6- Give Them Unconditional Love


Kids mess up. You tell them not to jump off the couch over and over again. And then they cry. Because childhood is largely based on trial and error, and sometimes kids just need to take chances.

♠ When kids know that their parents love and support them no matter what, they are more likely to take healthy risks. They are confident and secure in their decisions. When children know that their parents will always be there for them, for better or for worse, they are happy.

7- Make it Home, Not House


If your house is disorganized or messy, kids are less likely to want to have friends over. Keeping things neat and in place give kids a feeling of peace and contentment. However, you don’t want to turn into a compulsive neat-freak.

♠ Comfort is a big part of happiness, and kids need to feel free to run, jump, get dirty, and be occasional slobs in their own homes — by themselves and with their playmates

8- Give Affection


First, show your children lots of physical affection: hugs, kisses, back rubs, tummy tickles. Touch has the power to relieve stress and elevate mood. Second,  get your kids moving because meeting a physical challenge confers a positive feeling of achievement.

First published: March 2017

Your Life is the Product of Your Thoughts

Haya Eid


14 August, 2020


Happiness or misery, peace or anxiety springs from within.

You alone color your life bright or dark, the same way as a glass takes the color of the liquid it contains:

Whoever is content (with Allah’s Decree) will win His Good Pleasure, and whoever is discontent (with Allah’s Decree) will incur His Wrath. (At-Thirmidhi)

Prophet Muhammad visited a sick Bedouin suffering from fever and consoled him, saying:

No harm, it is purification by the Will of Allah.

The sick Bedouin replied:

“Rather, it is a fever burning in an old man that shall bring him to the grave.”

The Prophet said:

Yes, so it will be. (Al-Bukhari)

This indicates that a person’s psychological state greatly determines the fate of his actions.

The following two verses prove how people’s positive and negative attitudes to the same subject matter significantly affect the outcome:

Among the Bedouins are some who look upon what they spend (in Allah’s Cause) as a fine (a loss and a burden) and await your bad turns of fate; upon them shall be the bad turns. (9: 98)

But among the Bedouins are some who believe in Allah and the Last Day and regard what they spend as a means of attaining nearness to Allah and of obtaining invocations of the Messenger. Indeed, it (spending in Allah’s Cause) brings them nearer to Him. Allah will admit them to His Mercy. (9: 99)

Be Positive in Your Life - It's Sunnah


Both groups of people pay the required amount of obligatory charity (Zakah). The first group regards it as a burdensome, detestable fine, and wish evil for those who take it, whereas the second group finds pleasure in paying it, seeking with it the supplications of the Messenger.

Mind Your Thoughts


Within this sphere lie all life affairs. The value of a work, as well as the person who does it, is closely connected with the ideas in his mind and the feelings within his heart.

Dale Carnegie said:

“Our thoughts make us what we are. Our mental attitude is the X factor that determines our fate.”

Emerson said:

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.”

How could he possibly be anything else?

I now know with a conviction beyond all doubt that the biggest problem you and I have to deal with – in fact, almost the only problem we have to deal with – is choosing the right thoughts. If we can do that, we will be on the highroad to solving all our problems.

The great philosopher who ruled the Roman Empire, Marcus Aurelius, summed it up in eight words – eight words that can determine your destiny: ‘Our life is what our thoughts make it.’

Yes, if we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable. And if we think fear thoughts, we will be fearful. If we think sickly thoughts, we will probably be ill. If we think failure, we will certainly fail. And if we wallow in self-pity, everyone will want to shun us and avoid us. ‘You are not,’ said Norman Vincent Peale, ‘you are not what you think you are; but what you think, you are.’” (How to Stop Worrying, 12)

Positive Thinking

Coronavirus: British Muslim’s Advice on How to Remain Positive


A good and positive psychological state makes the little much and the individual capable of building a nation.

The future of man depends on the quality and performance of his psychological state, through which the course of his life is shaped. His soul alone is the source of his behavior and attitude, which are molded by the thoughts and the feelings filling it.

As we get further away from the surface of the earth, the shape and size of things change and along with it our view of what is beneath broadens and our horizon expands, although we have not changed.

The same thing happens the higher man ascends into the levels of moral perfection and intellectual development. Many of his thoughts and sensibilities are refined and upgraded, and his judgments of people and things are altered.

 


Truly we are capable, if we choose to, of making ourselves good and wonderful examples.

The way to achieve this is to renew our views and feelings the same way as a wasteland, after abundant rain and manure, is renewed. As this arid land is transformed into a green field, so can we transform into new people.

Spiritual reformation, therefore, is the first pillar needed for goodness to prevail in our life:

Indeed, God will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. (13: 11)

God shows a very close connection between purity of soul and happiness, with His assurance of showering His full blessings on those who believe in Him, on the pious and good doers:  

And if the people of the towns had believed and had piety, certainly, We would have opened for them blessings from the heaven and the earth. (7: 96)

This article is a translated excerpt from Sheikh Muhammad Al-Ghazali’s book: “Renew Your Life”. It is translated and adapted by Haya Muhammad Eid & edited by Emily Katharine Richardson.

Do Good Deeds or God’s Mercy Determine our Destination?


13 August, 2020


QWhat happens to a person when they die? What determines where a person goes when they die? Their good works, or God's mercy and love?


ANSWER

Hossam Ed-Deen Allam


13 August, 2020


Short Answer:

This worldly life is a phase for action, yet the afterlife that comes after the resurrection is a phase of accountability.


Good deeds are required but not sufficient for entering paradise. Therefore, it is said that Muslims will enter Paradise by Allah’s mercy and elevate in its degrees in view of their good deeds.


However, we have to know that Allah’s Mercy showers the believers and non-believers in this world, but it will shower only the believers on the day of Judgment.


………….

commitments Muslim


What 3 Personal Commitments Should a Muslim Fulfill?


Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your important questions to our website.

What happens to a person when they die?


Death is a phase that follows when the spirit departs from the body to render it inanimate. As per Islamic creed, we believe in the resurrection when the body and the spirit will be reunited in the afterlife.

Noteworthy, these matters constitute part of the Ghayb (Unseen), which is revealed to us through authentic sources, essentially, the Noble Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). 

Thus, every Muslim is required to believe in these unseen beliefs, which are mostly beyond our human mental capacity. In this regard, the Noble Quran states:

“Those who believe in the Unseen and perform the prayer and spend from that which We have provided them.” (Quran 2:3)

Muslim scholars refer to the period between death and resurrection as ‘Life in Barzakh’, which only Allah know its nature and reality. The first stage in Barzakh’ commences with the grave. For more on what actually happens in the grave, please refer to

What Actually Happens in the Grave?

as well as 

How Can We Ensure Our Time in the Grave is Happy?

Life in the Grave

What Will Our Time In The Grave Be Like?

Human Spirit


Remarkably, the human spirit is one of the creatures of Allah and its true nature and essence are only known to Allah. In this matter, Narrated `Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him):

While I was in the company of the Prophet (PBUH) at a farm and he was reclining on a palm leave stalk, some Jews passed by. Some of them said to the others. “Ask him (the Prophet (PBUH) about the spirit.” Some of them said, “What urges you to ask him about it” Others said, “(Don’t) lest he should give you a reply which you dislike.” But they said, “Ask him.” So they asked him about the human soul.

The Prophet (PBUH) kept quiet and did not give them any answer. I knew that he was being divinely inspired so I stayed at my place. When the divine inspiration had been revealed, the Prophet (PBUH) recited:

” They ask you ˹O Prophet˺ about the spirit. Say, “Its nature is known only to my Lord, and you ˹O humanity˺ have been given but little knowledge.” (Quran 17:85)

The Bridge Over Hell on the Day of Judgment   


Allah informs us in the Noble Quran that every individual shall come close to hell. Allah says: 

” There is none of you who will not pass over it. ˹This is˺ a decree your Lord must fulfil. Then We will deliver those who were devout, leaving the wrongdoers there on their knees.” (Quran – 19: 71-72).   

There are numerous Hadiths that refers to “the bridge on hell”. While one-statement indicates that this bridge is as sharp as the edge of a sword, the more reliable ones do not highlight that particular quality.

Such authentic prophetic statements mention that the pious will cross it as swift as a blink, or lighting, or wind, or fast horses. The quality of their deeds in this worldly life is what determines the speed of their crossing.

Thus, the ones with the best deeds will be the first and the fastest to cross it. In this regard, Abdullah ibn Massoud reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

 “The believers are told to save themselves according to their light, which is given to them in accordance with their good deeds. Some of them will pass as fast as a blink, some as wind, some as birds, some as fast horses and some running. The last of them is a man who has no more light than the size of his large toes, and who stumbles over the bridge. In one version of this Hadith, this last person is reported to turn to Allah and ask Him why has He made his crossing so slow. Allah will answer him: “It is your deeds that slowed you down.”

What Determines Our Final Destination? Our Good Deeds? Or God’s Mercy?


It is well established that the good deeds are not the price of paradise as the prophet (PBUH) says:

“The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise.” (i.e., None can enter Paradise through his good deeds.) They (the Prophet’s companions) said, ‘Not even you, O Allah’s Messenger (PBUH)?’ He said, “Not even myself, unless Allah bestows His favor and mercy on me.” So be moderate in your religious deeds and do the deeds that are within your ability: and none of you should wish for death, for if he is a good doer, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to Allah.”.

This Hadith is a clear indication that good deeds are required but not sufficient for entering paradise. Therefore, it is said that Muslims will enter Paradise by Allah’s mercy and elevate in its degrees in view of their good deeds.

However, we have to know that Allah’s Mercy showers the believers and non-believers in this world, but it will shower only the believers on the day of Judgment. Allah says: 

My mercy encompasses everything. I will ordain mercy for those who shun evil, pay obligatory charity, and believe in Our revelations. (Quran 7:156)

Allah never fails those who believe in Him and do good deeds


Noteworthy, Allah never fails those who believe in Him and do good deeds. Allah says:

“As for those who believe and do good, We certainly never deny the reward of those who are best in deeds. It is they who will have the Gardens of Eternity, with rivers flowing under their feet. There they will be adorned with bracelets of gold, and wear green garments of fine silk and rich brocade, reclining there on ˹canopied˺ couches. What a marvelous reward! And what a fabulous place to rest!” (Quran 18:30-31)

In sum, this worldly life is a phase for action, yet the afterlife that comes after the resurrection is a phase of accountability. Individuals will either be in pure happiness or in total misery. Those on whom Allah bestows His mercy will dwell in paradise, while those who are denied it will abide in hell, the place of absolute misery.

It is also clearly stated by the Prophet, PBUH , that the deeds of even the most righteous individual will not be enough to admit him/her into paradise without Allah’s mercy. Allah’s mercy is guaranteed by none other than Allah Himself to those who believe in Him and do well in their worldly lives.