Teach and Learn Islam with a Smile

Maria Zain


27 June, 2020


Understanding Islam for new Muslims opens avenues to an exciting world of knowledge and life-long practices.

While the realization of Islam’s beauty can come in a single verse of the Quran, or materialize in a particular meeting with a Muslim, coming to Islam with the intention of understanding the details of the religion in its entirety can be intimidating.

It is easy for new Muslims to feel overwhelmed when embracing their new faith, even when it comes with full conviction in their beliefs.

Although Islam is a relatively easy faith to fully embrace and practice, the initial stepping stones may seem stressful and arduous, as it carries connotations in lifestyle changes as well as the fundamentals that can be difficult to establish.

This is especially true if a new Muslim is coming from a lifestyle that was totally different.

On the outset, learning the religion can also seem difficult because it is so easy to get confused about Islam, especially with the amount of malignant information through the mainstream media about the religion and Muslims, and it can also become confusing when Muslims prioritize cultural teachings over and above what is taught in the Quran and Sunnah.

However, there is a lot more to the “seriousness” of Islam than meets the eye.

Teaching and learning Islam encompasses a lot more than rigorous understanding about rituals and practices and many times – especially today – contemporary teachers of Islam infuse fun, games and humor into their classes and courses, to engage with their audiences and students.

Learning Needs Time


While it can be an exciting journey and a motivated new Muslim may be enthusiastic in studying and learning everything possible about the new faith, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to learn too much, too quickly.

For both new Muslims and Muslims who struggle to study their faith, it is important to remember that the Quran was revealed over the course of 23 years and not in a pint-sized pill.

Islam did not come in an instantaneous package – like a “magical” du’a to become a great Muslim – but in the form of the Quran, which is also broken down into 30 chapters.

The chapters also comprise of multiple verses with multiple different messages to learn from. And many of the verses were also revealed in parts.

This way, the 114 chapters of the entire Quran were pieced together to become the complete and perfected way of life.

I Converted to Islam: How to Tell My Parents?


I Converted to Islam: How to Tell My Parents?


Over and above the Quran, the first handful of Muslims were observant of how the Prophet carried himself in his daily life and committed most (if not all) to memory for it to be recorded for Muslims today.

This was how they observed the Quran-in-motion, through the way the Prophet spoke, interacted, taught, socialized and led the believers.

Even the most pious companions spent their entire lives trying to perfect their own practices and cleanse their hearts from any ambiguity and doubt in Islam.

This is a good reminder that even the most religious people of today are also humans and can make mistakes as they learn and grow. Thus studying Islam should not be one that is flanked with stress and anxiety but is motivated through the positive emotions of love and intrigue of the religion.

A Good Dose of Halal Humor


Infusing humor in teaching and learning is not only a great way to learn – but an effective way for messages to get communicated.

Humor breaks down barriers of communication, pre-conceived notions, and reminds that learning should have a fun dimension in it, in order to soften and guide confused hearts.

As long as humor is not used to allude to shirk, glorify the haram, poke fun at a particular group of people or individuals, and is not used excessively (to the point of debilitating the message at hand), humor is probably an element that will effectively fuel the desire to learn.

And after all, all Muslims should know that a smile is a wonderful form of charity.

Take a look at anywhere on the net, from Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, well-known Shaykhs and Ustadhs today send out humorous messages, even with respects to “serious issues” to share important lessons.

Obviously, it does not happen in every single post, tweet or video, but a joke or a funny story adds a sweet icing to a cake of valuable lessons.

It brings in the light-heartedness in learning and puts matters that are difficult to understand into perspective – that learning is a life-long journey, full of pit stops, crossroads, junctions and even u-turns.

Prophet Muhammad – A Teacher with a Smile


Female Muslim converts marriage


The Challenges Muslim Converts Face When It Comes to Marriage


For most part of his own journey as a teacher to humanity, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) always sported a smile.

Despite his difficulties and challenges in reaching out to followers, the Prophet always carried a positive outlook to life.

His positive vibes resonated among his followers through the way he acknowledged them and the way he shared jokes with his family and friends.

It is well known that the Prophet would share a funny story when it was appropriate, and he used to share time with his companions at the masjid compound while they spent their evenings reciting poetry to each other.

He would smile upon joyful renditions.

The Prophet even once warned his followers not to indulge too much in religious affairs, as it could have an adverse effect upon their interest in Islam.

Seeing Islam is very much a balanced religion – one that encourages the middle path in all things – it is supposed to encompass leisure and entertainment to nurture peace and tranquility, while being vigilant and discipline.

Teaching Today: The Charity of a Smile


Islamically, sadaqah is the term for “voluntary charity.”

This goes beyond any form of material charity and in many narrations, Muslims are told to not discount the good deed of sharing a smile.

Smiling is a great way to connect two people together and to conjure positive energy, even when things become difficult.

It is also scientifically easier to smile than it is to frown. And of course, there are many instances where a smile is a function of something humorous.

Many new Muslims take learning their new faith with a great deal of seriousness.

Although this is natural (due to a sudden flame of ignited iman or faith) and extremely commendable, many new brothers and sisters may easily feel overwhelmed with the amount of information that is suddenly at hand.

Keeping a balance in learning is a great way to nurture self-motivation, and the Prophet (peace be upon him) demonstrated the importance of keeping upbeat and positive.

Smiling is charity, as he once said, and the way he taught and learned should be emulated by teachers and students today.

How Do I Overcome the Past and Love Again Wholeheartedly?


30 June, 2020


QSalam.. I hope you are well.

I was in a relationship for about 6 years almost with a boy and both our families were aware and had mutual understanding that yes in future this will be official after education is completed.

However, in the last two years of it, that boy started to abuse me emotionally and mentally and then he eventually left me for another girl (which he told me at last when he saw that despite his abusive behavior I didn't leave him) and his family completely backed out.

He left me completely first in June 2018 and then again for once and for all in January 2019.

I know it all sounds very easy the way I have said it but all that betrayal, that mistreatment, that abuse has left marks on me deeply most of which I never talk about.

I took the entire year focusing and rebuilding myself all over again, I kept praying to Allah to guide me and help me through it all.

I have recovered a lot and now I am wiser than before.

After praying to Allah for peace in my personal life , all duas, all tahajjuds, and istikhara prayers.. recently I received a proposal out of the blue from one of my sister's colleagues.

I really like this guy and now I can say that I have started loving him because he is a very nice man, focuses on Allah and on getting close to Him and stays in the company of good people and studies Holy Quran with understanding.

This is the main thing which I love him for. I love him for Allah... His father has already spoken to my father and things are progressing Alhamdulillah.

The thing is that although I thought that I healed completely but now dealing with this new proposal I get so scared many times when in reality there's nothing to worry about.

I don't know how to list down those fears here, I am so scared that's all I can say. There are so many insecurities and so many thoughts that bother me.

I always try to do Dhikr to calm myself, pray Nawafil and other prayers but sometimes I just don't know how to deal with it.

I have so many insecurities and fears, of not being loved back , of not being valued or respected.. of being cheated on again .. and I see that despite having so much confidence, again I get insecurities about myself whether or not I am good enough.

I am so scared to lose this new happiness that I have found.

I don't know how to cope with those wounds that are deep down in my soul although I do not think of my past experience anymore but those wounds and scars given by it are still there embedded in me irrespective of me not recalling anything of the past.

I have gotten over my past but not from the betrayal and abuse that happened.

How do I come out of that trauma so that I do not think negatively of the new love and expectations that I have found?

ANSWER

Monique Hassan


30 June, 2020


In this counseling answer:

Sister, it is normal to have concerns over being hurt again after a heartbreak, but it does fade with time and will get easier inshallah. 

Find strength in the fact that you took time to heal and rebuild.

Speak honestly and kindly with your potential husband. 

Use self-talk to bring yourself down when you feel worried or insecure.

Use the mirror for pep talks in the morning.

Keep praying, making duaa and pray istikhara.

Consider counselor or a mediator if things do not become easier.

How Do I Overcome the Past and Love Again Wholeheartedly? - About Islam


How Allah Mends Our Broken Hearts


Assalamu alaikum, 


Thank you for taking the time to write in and trust us with your concerns.

 It is my understanding you had a previous breakup with a relationship intended for marriage that ended in emotional abuse, another woman, and overall feelings of betrayal and mistreatment from a man that was your first love and introduction to relationships. 

Before we unpack all of this Sister, I want to highlight something you said that is amazing and so healthy.

“I took the entire year focusing on rebuilding myself all over again, I kept praying to Allah,” and “I have recovered a lot and now I am wiser than before”. Alhamdulilah Sister, this is one of the best things I could have hoped to read from you.

Unfortunately, rushing into another relationship before healing is an all too common mistake that hurts us in the end. It sounds like you are ready to move forward and are in a healthy mindset to do so. 

I understand you consider this man to be nice, pious, in the company of good people and you are developing feelings for him. Mashallah, this sounds great and promising.

I also understand you are scared sometimes about being hurt again, noticed insecurities about your self-esteem and overall do not want your new love to be expected to pay the price of your first love. 

How Do I Overcome the Past and Love Again Wholeheartedly? - About Islam


Communication


It is important for you and for your potential husband to communicate honestly and kindly. You can consider talking to him about what happened in the past and how it has impacted you.

Let him know that it has made you wiser in relationships, inshallah a better wife than you would have been due to this wisdom, but it also leaves behind emotional wounds.

Explain yourself openly that you have healed, but as a marriage means being vulnerable again it has made you nervous.

If you begin your marriage with honest and open communication, inshallah it will help you to maintain this as you move forward. This can help foster greater trust from both of you and sets the tone for being understanding of one another. 

Please understand it is normal to have concerns over being hurt again after a heartbreak, but it does fade with time and will get easier inshallah. 

Talk Yourself Down


During those difficult moments where you may feel very worried or thinking of these insecure thoughts. I want you to try and exercise self-talk. For example, if you are thinking about being hurt again ask yourself “has this man ever showed red flags that he will hurt me” and really think about it.

If he has never shown you anything within his character and behavior that makes you think he will potentially hurt you then tell yourself it is an irrational fear then think about all of the good things surrounding him that can help you feel safer inshallah.

For example, you state he is a kind man and he works on his relationship with Allah (swt). This can act as a sign to you that he will be good and try to make you happy, not hurt you or abandon you as the first man did. 

If you are worried about being good enough, tell yourself 3 things about yourself that are beautiful. For example, perhaps you love your hair color, how you recite certain surahs of the Quran and how you take care of loved ones. It can be anything; physical, intellectual etc. 

Mirror


Another exercise in self-esteem is using your mirror. Every morning when you look in the mirror, take a moment to tell yourself “I deserve to be loved” and look into your own eyes when you say it. Tell yourself “I am worth it”. 

I hope you know you are worthy of love and you absolutely deserve it!

Worship


You mentioned prayer and dhikr. This is a great way to help yourself as you move forward, keep your heart in remembrance of Allah (swt) and provide you guidance as you progress.

I encourage you to keep doing this and also pray istikhara regarding this marriage. During difficult moments, remember you can utilize dhikr and duaa almost anywhere at any time. 

If you need help understanding istikhara, please use this link. 

Unbiased Mediation


If you find yourself struggling more and more with trust and insecurities and it is increasingly difficult to manage then you may want to consider professional counseling or an unbiased mediator.

This could be a marriage counselor, a trusted friend, or family member. Someone to help you bounce ideas off of them about how you are feeling, if it is really about your husband, or is it about your ex and inshallah they can help you unpack those emotional wounds. 

Final Thoughts


Here is a summary of your next steps moving forward. 

Find strength in the fact you took time to heal and rebuild


Speak honestly and kindly with your potential husband 


Use self-talk to bring yourself down when you feel worried or insecure


Use the mirror for pep talks in the morning


Keep praying, making duaa and pray istikhara


Consider counselor or a mediator if things do not become easier


I know this can be a scary prospect to go into, no one wants to get hurt again. Inshallah this marriage will be happy, loving and you will both grow closer in your connection to Allah (swt). 

May Allah (swt) heal your heart and make this a happy union, ameen.