The Prophet’s


with His Family

In the Name of Allah,

the Most Gracious,

the Most Merciful

01 Gentleness towards the family:

The Prophet  was very gentle towards

his family. The Prophet  instructed

us saying: “Gentleness is not added

to something, except that it would be

embellished.” The Prophet  said to

A’ishah: “O A’ishah, when Allah wants

good for a household, its members

would treat each other kindly.” (Targhib)

The Prophet’s Interactions

with His Family

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One should not boss their family

around unnecessarily or give them

chores that are impossible to complete

or treat them rudely when they are

good towards him.

One has to control his emotions at all

times, especially during arguments.

A’ishah said: “A group of Jews entered

upon the Prophet  and they said to

him, ‘As-saam alaikum,’ (death be

upon you). I understood what they

meant, and said to them, ‘May death

be upon you! May the curses of Allah

fall upon you as well!’ The Messenger

of Allah  calmly said, ‘O A’ishah, take

it easy. Allah loves that you approach

all of your affairs in a kind manner.’ I

said to the Messenger of Allah , ‘Did

you not hear what they said to you?’

He  replied, ‘That is why I responded

by saying, ‘And may it be upon you.’”


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02 Serving his family:

The Prophet  continually helped with

household chores. A’ishah described

what exactly that entailed. She said:

“He would repair his shoes and sew his

own clothes.” (Bukhari)

03 The Prophet would serve


The Prophet  would take care of

his affairs by himself. He would not


his wife to serve him. A’ishah said the

Prophet  would clean his clothes,

milk the sheep, and serve himself.

(Sahih al-Jami)

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04 Spending on his family:

Generosity and spending on the family

are principles that the Prophet 

planted in the hearts of his Companions.

He said: “Indeed, Allah is generous and

loves generosity.” (Tirmidthi)

The Prophet  was asked: “What is the

best form of charity?” He  said: “The

money you spend on your family is the

greatest in reward.” (Muslim)

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The matter of taking care of the needs

of your wife is not a favor done towards

one’s wife, but a duty upon the Muslim

husband. The Prophet  was asked:

“What is the duty of a husband towards

his wife?” He  replied, “To feed her

as you would yourself, to clothe her

as you would yourself, that you not hit

her face or curse her and you should

not forsake her, except in the house.”

(Abu Dawood)

05 Comforting the family:

The Prophet  sought comfort for

his family, as he would try his best to

avoid all difficulties. Anas said: “The

Prophet  was traveling and a young

boy was singing a tune that would

make the camels walk at a faster pace.

The Prophet  called out to him, ‘Slow

down,’ for he feared for the safety of

his family.” (Bukhari)

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06 Forbearing nature of the

Prophet :

The Prophet was always smiling, even

when he faced problems at home.

Umar said: “The men of Quraish would

overcome their wives and would

make them succumb to their will, but

in Madinah, the women of the Ansar

would overcome their men! Our

women picked up these habits from

the women of the Ansar. One day my

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wife was upset with me and yelled

at me. I was shocked that this took

place and reprimanded her for that.

With this, my wife said, ‘Why do you

reprimand me? Indeed, the wives of

the Prophet  do the same, and some

of his wives even give him the ‘cold

shoulder’ all day long!’

This shocked me and I told her, her,

‘Any of them who does this is in a state

of loss!’ Umar then went to the house

of his daughter Hafsa, the wife of the

Prophet . Umar then verified what he

had heard from his own wife, and Hafsa

concurred. Umar then exclaimed, ‘You

are in a state of loss! Do you have

any guarantee that the punishment

of Allah would not descend upon you

on ac-count of Allah’s anger?’ He then

said, ‘Do not yell or give him the cold

shoulder. If there is anything you want,

ask me and I shall help you.’” (Bukhari)

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07 Fulfilling the wishes of his


The Prophet  would immediately

respond and take care of his family’s

needs. A’ishah asked the Prophet : “All

your wives have a Kunya (nickname),

what shall mine be?” The Prophet  said,

“Call yourself Umm Abdullah (mother

of Abdullah).” This is what A’ishah was

called until she died. (Silsilah)

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08 Caring for his wives:

The Prophet  took care of his family

in the best manner when they fell

ill. A’ishah said: “Whenever one of

the wives of the Prophet  fell ill,

the Prophet  would recite the last

chapters of the Qur’an upon them.”


09 Greeting his family:

The Prophet  would sit after Fajr

with his companions until sunrise.

After that, he would visit his wives. He

would greet each one and suppli-cate

for them. (Majma az-Zawaid)

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10 Seeking counsel from his wives:

During the events that led up to the

signing of a peace-treaty with the


of Quraish (al-Hudaybiyyah), he 

com-manded his Companions to

slaughter their animals and shave their

heads. The Companions were so saddened

that they were not allowed to

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enter Makkah and perform the minor

pilgrimage (Umrah) that not even

one of them got up to carry out this

order. After repeating this command

three times, no one got up to follow

his orders, so the Prophet  entered

upon his wife, Umm Salamah and he

told her what had happened. Upon

hearing his complaint, she told him

to go out and not talk to anyone until

he had slaughtered his animal and

shaved his head. The Prophet  took

her advice. When the Companions saw

the Prophet  slaughter his animal

and shave his head, they all raced

among themselves to do the same. (Al-


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11 The Prophet  sought

permission from his wives:

One of the beautiful characteristics of

the Prophet  was that he never was

unfair, even while he was ill. A’ishah

said: “The Messenger of Allah  sent a

message to all his wives during his final

sickness saying, ‘I cannot visit you as I

usually do, so I seek your permission

to stay with A’ishah.’ His wives agreed

and allowed him to stay with her.” (Abu


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In another narration, the Prophet 

said: “Where shall I stay to-morrow?

Where shall I stay tomorrow?” He was

looking forward to A’ishah’s turn, so all

his wives allowed him to stay where

he wished, and he stayed at A’ishah’s

house until he died. A’ishah added,

“He died on the day of my usual turn,

at my house. He died while his head

was against my chest.” (Bukhari)

12 Involving the family:

The Messenger of Allah  would always

involve his family. Anas said: “One of

the Prophet’s neighbors prepared a

splendid meal for him, and he invited

the Prophet . The Prophet  pointed

at his wife saying, ‘What about her?’

The man said, ‘No,’ so the Prophet 

declined saying, ‘I cannot attend.’ The

man then invited the Prophet  once

again and the Prophet  asked him,

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‘What about her?’ The man once again

said, ‘No,’ so the Prophet  declined

his invitation yet again. The man then

invited the Prophet  for a third time

and when the Prophet  asked about

A’ishah he invited her as well, so the

Messenger of Allah  accepted his

invitation.” (Muslim)

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13 Correcting mistakes:

The Prophet  used great wisdom

when correcting the mistakes of his

family. One day A’ishah said: “Safiyah

is very short…” She said this in a

derogatory manner and the Prophet 

immediately stopped her from saying

anything further, and said, “You said

a phrase, by Allah, were it mixed with

the ocean, it would have polluted its

water.” (Targhib)

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On another occasion, Safiyah heard

Hafsa saying, “Safiyah is the daughter

of a Jewish man!” When she heard

this, she wept! The Prophet  asked

her, “Why do you weep?” She said,

“Hafsa has said about me, ‘You are

the daughter of a Jewish man!’” The

Prophet  calmly told her, “You are

indeed the daughter of a Prophet,

and your Uncle is a Prophet, and you

are married to a Prophet! So how can

she put you down?” The Prophet 

then told Hafsa, “Fear Allah, O Hafsa!”


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14 The Prophet  accepted the

excuses of his family:

There is no doubt that mistakes will

occur during marriage. A husband may

do something wrong, just as a wife

may make a mistake. When a spouse

accepts the excuse of his family,

this would be indicative of the good

manners that the spouse possesses.

One day the Prophet  was waiting

for A’ishah and she was a bit delayed.

The Prophet  asked her, “What held

you back?” She said, “O Messenger of

Allah  I heard a beautiful recitation,

the likes of which I have never heard!”

The Prophet  then went and listened

and he came back after a long period

and said, “This is Salim, the freed slave

of Abu Hudhaifah.” (Takhrij al-Ihya)

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15 Making his family happy:

The Prophet  was keen on making

his family happy. A’ishah said: “The

Messenger of

Allah  asked me, ‘Are you not pleased

that you shall be my wife both in this life

and in the next?’ A’ishah responded,

‘Of course!’” (Silsilah)

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16 Kindness towards his family:

The Messenger of Allah  dealt with

those around him in the most gracious

manner. A’ishah said: “When the

Prophet  was with his wives, he was

the kindest person, the most generous

of all people and was always smiling

and laughing.” (Jami as-Saghir)

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17 Forgiving nature towards his


The Prophet  was a very forgiving man.

Even if a person intentionally made

an error, he pardoned that individual.

When the Prophet  conquered

Makkah, and those people who were

once his enemies stood before him, he

asked them, “What do you think I shall

do to you?” They replied, “You are a

gracious brother and a gracious cousin.”

He then said, “Go, for you are all free!”

The Prophet  could have taken the

opportunity to avenge the previous

hardships and sufferings he faced from

them, but instead he set them free. His

family had the greatest share of this

grace. If the Prophet  asked his wives,

“Have you made any lunch,” and they

had not, he comforted them by saying,

“I am fasting.” (Nasa’ee)

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In such a way, his family would

never feel bad or feel that they had

disappointed him.

18 The Prophet  would give his

family what they yearned for:

The Prophet  would make a habit of

trying his best to give his family what

they yearned for as long as it was not

something prohibited.

A’ishah once said, “O Messenger of

Allah, all your Companions have performed

the Hajj (greater pilgrimage)

and Umrah (lesser pilgrimage)

except for me!” The Prophet 

asked her, “Didn’t you perform Tawaf

(circumambulate the Ka’bah) when

you first arrived?” She said, “No.”

The Prophet  then said, “Go with

your brother to the neighborhood

of Tan’eem and make inten-tion to

perform Umrah.” (Bukhari)

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To download and read the complete book,

click on the cover picture here.

This is an excerpt

of a larger book titled

“Romance in Islam”

by Abd Ar- Rahman

bin Abd Al-Kareem Ash-Sheha.

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